The Sin, The Sun, & The Shame

by Leigh Mcknight

  Gathering her composure, she said in a childlike voice. “I thought you loved me.”

  “Love you?” Anger flared in Mitch, he threw his hands in the air and again attempted to open the door to the store.

  Sophia followed him with quick, short steps. “That’s what you told me last night. Don’t you remember?”

  Losing patience with her, Mitch said, “What the fuck are you talking about? How could I love you when I don’t even know your little ass? You knew what you were getting yourself into, going after me the way you did. It was you who came on to me and in an aggressive manner, I might add. So don’t start acting like I owe you something because I don’t owe you a damn thing. Now, get lost.”

  Shocked by his tone, but Sophia steeled herself against the deep emotion in his voice. She unconsciously twisted her slender hands together, while thoughts ran furiously through Mitch’s head, how he should never have left his suite last night after he first arrived there. How he definitely never should have gone back over to Sophia’s room. He wished he could go back in time and hit the reset button, make different choices. He also wished he could kick himself in the ass for being so damn stupid. Mitch stared at Sophia.

  “How old are you anyway?”

  “Old enough,” Sophia replied brightly. She was quick to tease him and though her heart was breaking into a million little pieces, she managed to smile.

  Mitch gave her a stern look. “We are not going to play these games anymore. Tell me how old you are, Sophia!” he demanded. “And this time don’t give me some off the wall bullshit. Tell me the truth, damn it.”

  “I am sixteen, but,” she pouted, “I’ll be seventeen in a month.”

  “What the fu--?” Mitch roared, but stopped himself from completing his question, his eyes piercing her. He didn’t believe what Sophia had told him, didn’t want to believe it. Blood was rushing to his head. “You’re sixteen?!” he asked incredulously.

  “I am sixteen,” she repeated, a little smirk touching the corners of her lips.

  “Sophia, this is not a joke so don’t you play with me.” He lifted a brow. “Are you honestly telling me you are sixteen years old?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Shaking his head and looking up at the sky, not only could Mitch not believe what he was hearing, he couldn’t believe how stupid he had been. “You are just a kid!” Mitch was pissed off with Sophia for initiating the situation that took place between them but at the same time, pure unadulterated shame washed over him. He knew she was young, but sixteen. “What have I gotten myself into,” he mumbled under his breath. There was nothing about Sophia that would lead Mitch to think that she was that young. He squeezed his eyes shut and he shook his head again. “I’ll be damned,” he whispered.

  He had been wrong about Sophia. He had been stupid on so many levels. His face tightened. He groaned and cursed silently. The darkened atmosphere of the club, the makeup, the drinks he had consumed and the invigorating feeling he got when he was around Sophia were very potent ingredients that had contributed to him guessing she could have been in her mid twenties.

  Mitch turned another cold stare on Sophia. “Do you know what the authorities would do to me if they knew we slept together?” he asked and he angrily hurled the answer to his question. “They would put my black ass underneath the jail house.”

  “I’m not going to tell anyone, Mitch.” He heard her words, but why didn’t he feel any better. “I don’t want to get you into trouble,” she said in a small voice.

  “Well, thank you for that. You take care,” he said and was about to walk away.

  Then Sophia changed the subject. “Can we have a cup of coffee somewhere?”

  He looked at her. His face tightened even more as he snarled. “Are you out of your mind? Look, my wife is waiting for me and I’ve gotta run. Have a nice life.”

  “Who are you?” Sophia gave Mitch a disapproving look. She thought he was a nice man, a caring man. Could she have been that wrong about him? “I don’t know how I could have thought you were so special, so different. How could I have been so fooled by you? You told me last night that you and your wife were having problems. You said you didn’t think that she loved you anymore.”

  And, I need my dumb ass kicked, Mitch thought, struggling to compose his features as he replied. “Well, I was wrong. Look, young lady, Sophia or whoever the hell you are, I don’t have any more time for this.” He used his hand again to wipe away more perspiration that gathered on his forehead and turned to walk away.

  “Would you mind if I shot you an e-mail or text sometime?” Sophia asked innocently, reaching for his arm.

  Mitch had developed patience dealing with clients and even more so dealing with his wife, but now his hard earned patience was sorely waning. He turned and fixed his narrowed eyes on her face. What the hell is this? he thought. Had he gotten himself into some real life fatal attraction? “Are you kidding me right now? You are treating this situation like some kind of joke and it’s not. I’m done with it. You and I will never see each other or talk to each other ever again. You got that?” Mitch raised his hands in exasperation. “I’m outta here.” He turned and walked away from the store and Sophia, but not before he saw tears gathering in her lovely, sad eyes.

  Sophia’s locked her hands together and tears slid down her face. She watched as Mitch walked blindly across the street where he had parked the rented Volvo, climbed into the car, and rested his head against the seat with his gaze fixed on the young girl he had cheated on his wife with, the girl he had just treated like shit. She was just a child and she had looked small, lost, devastated, standing alone on the sidewalk, so unlike the sophisticated Sophia he’d met last night. Mitch’s heart went out to her.

  Mitch knew in his heart that he had played a huge part in her pain and most of all, he knew that he owed her. If no more than an apology, he owed her. Sophia was so unpredictable and already believed she was in love with Mitch. There was no way of knowing how she would have reacted to seeing Mitch with his wife or any other woman. Mitch knew that he had to put some distance between himself and Sophia. He couldn’t risk running into her again, especially if Kanile was with him.

  Mitch blew out a frustrated stream of air before he started up the car and drove away, gunning the engine. Blinded by tears and cradling her head in her hands, Sophia was left alone with only the memory of her one nightstand with Mitch and the faint scent of the cologne he was wearing.

  Sometime later, Mitch entered his hotel suite where his wife was waiting for him. After his unpleasant encounter with Sophia, he needed to give himself some time to think. He had to drive around a while to clear his head before returning to the hotel and Kanile. Mitch’s encounter with Sophia had cleared up some of the things that had crossed his mind. There were times last night when they were spending time together, Sophia appeared naïve while other times, she was more sophisticated than people who were much older than she was. Never would he have imagined her to be sixteen. Mitch began to perspire all over again. Additionally, he had to locate another bath shop to get his wife’s favorite soap. It was out of the question to return without it. The last thing he needed was to get into another argument with Kanile. If he thought that bout with Sophia was difficult and stressful, a confrontation with Kanile would be like World War III and today he couldn’t handle it.

  “You got my soap?” Kanile greeted Mitch at the door, took the bag from his hand, and looked inside the bag to see several bars of her favorite soap. She smiled brightly. “What took you so long?” She stopped when she saw the look on his face. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “Nothing. I am fine,” he replied, but his thoughts were disjointed and jumbled. If only he could think straight. If only he could concentrate beyond what he had gotten himself into less than twenty-four hours ago.

  “You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.” Kanile laughed.

  Mitch’s jaw clenched but he gave a weak laugh. “I am just fine,”
he lied.

  “Okay.” She accepted his answer. “Well, I am going to take my shower. You can join me if you want.”

  “Go on. I’ll be there in a minute.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay because you don’t look so good. I hope you’re not coming down with anything.”

  Mitch was sweating. He used both his hands to wipe the perspiration away. “I’m good,” he said.

  Kanile gave her husband a perplexed look before making her way to the shower.

  Why did he have to run into Sophia? She was the last person he had expected to see or wanted to see. Mitch walked over, flung open the door, and stepped out on the terrace. Holding his breath, he looked up and down the beach, hoping not to see Sophia. Seeing no sign of her, he exhaled, went back inside, and joined his wife in the shower. Two days later and having no further run-ins with Sophia, Mitch, and Kanile happily packed their bags and headed home.

  ***

  A year had brought on significant changes in Mitch and Kanile’s lives. She made good on her promise to Mitch, especially when six months later, he became partner in the firm and was making a salary comparable to his position. With his new income, their first big ticket item was a new home. It was their turn to live in a nice neighborhood, in a fabulous, pricey home. They had gone from living in a 3000 square foot house to a small mansion located in the same gated community where her friend, Tracy, lived. The home offered an Oprah Winfrey type closet, two master bedrooms with adjoining bathrooms, Jacuzzis, custom tiles in the showers and his and her sinks. With Kalina’s insistence, they’d even bought a two-bedroom cabin on the lake. They had money in the bank; they were moving up the financial ladder of success.

  Their social life had improved tremendously; they had joined a couple of country clubs, went to the best parties, dined at the most elegant restaurants and they vacationed at fabulous locales. Mitch and Kanile had gone through financial struggles and she had never failed to remind him of what an epic failure he was. They had arrived and he finally had been able to please his wife, providing her with her heart’s desires. It looked as though their dark verbally abusive days were behind them.

  CHAPTER 6

  On Memorial Day, Mitch and Kanile had spared no expense on a huge backyard barbeque for their friends. Their doorbell had been ringing nonstop that afternoon as a stream of invited guests moved through the house to the backyard where the festivities were happening. Kanile answered the front door and after taking more of their guests outside, she returned to the kitchen for another platter of food.

  “So that’s what you’re up to? I don’t know why you didn’t have the whole thing catered. It would have been a lot less work for you, honey,” Mitch chuckled, watching her remove a platter of meat from the refrigerator to be placed on the grill.

  “Almost everything was catered but for a backyard barbeque. You men like to fuss around with the grill,” she grinned. “I’ll be finished with this in a minute if that doorbell would quit ringing.” She gave that wonderful, throaty laugh that Mitch loved so much. “Maybe we should put a sign on the front door, saying, “Please come to the back of the house,” she used her fingers to signify quote, unquote. Mitch joined in with his wife’s laughter. She handed him the tray of meat. “Take this outside for me, please.”

  Mitch left and returned within minutes to find Kanile unwrapping cakes that had been sliced and laid out on a tray. She picked up a piece between two fingers. “Come, taste a piece.”

  Mitch approached her and she popped a small piece of cake into his mouth, then her own. “Ummm!” Mitch said swallowing his cake, and then taking Kanile into his arms, he kissed most of her cake out of her mouth. He broke the kiss. “I’m going to grab some more beer and haul it outside,” he said as the front doorbell rang again. “Oops, there it goes again,” Mitch said as he and his wife lifted their hands in the air.

  Kanile chuckled. “Please get that for me.”

  “Yeah, sure.” Mitch headed toward the front door.

  “Mitchell Jamel Harding,” Kanile called out to her husband. He turned and looked at her.

  “I love you,” she said, sweetly.

  Mitch smiled, shook his head, and headed toward the door. Kanile resumed what she was doing so that she could rejoin the others outside. Mitch ushered other guests out to the backyard. That was not the last time the doorbell rang. It did so several more times within minutes of each other. After escorting another group of guests to their backyard, Mitch said, “Baby, I think I’m going to take your advice and put up that sign on the front door.”

  “That’s what I would do.” Kanile chuckled, licking her fingers and pulling more condiments from the cabinet above the stove while Mitch rummaged through a drawer for paper and a marker to make the sign for the front door.

  “There. That should do it,” Mitch said, satisfied that his artwork would solve the nonstop ringing of the front doorbell. After fishing a roll of scotch tape from a drawer, he went with his sign through the foyer to attach it to the door.

  Mitch had been gone a while before Kanile called out to him, craning her neck, looking towards the front door.

  “Honey, come give me a hand with this dessert tray.” Not getting a response, she placed the knife on the counter, and wiping her hands on a dishcloth, she made her way to the front door.

  “Honey,” she said, pulling the door wide open. “What’s taking so long to put up a simple sign? Oh,” she said, and flashing a broad smiled, extended her hand to their latest guest who was carrying a baby in a bassinet. “Hi, I am Kanile Harding. Welcome to our home.”

  She shifted her eyes from the young woman to the infant. Kanile’s eyebrows shot up, her smile froze. Her first thought was, who is this young woman on her doorstep with a baby who looked remarkably like her own family? Could Evan have fathered this child and now this young woman came in search of him?

  Barely able to tear her eyes away from the baby, Kanile asked, “Can we help you?” Then looking at Sophia again, she inquired before the young lady could respond.

  “Do you know Evan, our son?” Kanile cast her eyes at the baby again, then the young lady. But what puzzled her was when she looked over at Mitch and he looked as though he were having a stroke.

  “No, I have no idea who your son is,” the young woman began, looking directly into Kanile’s eyes. “My name is Sophia Hartford and I’m here to see Mitch Harding.” Looking at a dumbfounded Mitch before thrusting the bassinet she was holding into his hands. “This is our son. His name is Mitchell Jamel Harding, Jr. I call him Mitch Junior.”

  Kanile’s hands flew to her mouth. Her body sagged with numbness, completely devoid of energy. She gave Sophia a dark look before her questioning gaze came to rest on Mitch, who looked as though he would pass out any moment.

  Mitch looked at his wife; her eyes pierced his. Initially he saw confusion. As knowledge registered in Kanile’s eyes, he saw disappointment, pain. She couldn’t possibly know the details of what happened between her husband and Sophia, but Mitch was certain Kanile knew the baby was the result of his indiscretion with someone other than her. Mitch felt a stab of agony, like a dagger piercing through his heart. He couldn’t think, speak, or breathe. He could only look on helplessly, knowing his life as he knew it would never be the same. He also knew his day would get increasingly worse.

  “I carried our child for 9 months and cared for him until today. It’s your turn now.”

  With that, Sophia turned and walked away as Mitch and Kanile watched her climb into the backseat of a sleek, late model black sedan. As Sophia’s car drove away, she didn’t give Mitch and Kanile a backward glance but she did leave them with the truth. The trouble with truth is that it can change everything.

  When Sophia’s car was completely out of sight, Kanile closed her mouth that had been gaping open and collected herself enough to turn a hateful eye on her husband.

  “What the hell was that, Mitch? What have you done?” She asked shaking her head in disbelief. Her eyes danced from
her husband’s eyes to those of the child who lay in the bassinet.

  “Answer me damn it. What the fuck have you done?” Completely oblivious to the guest who continued to arrive for the backyard event, she didn’t care that they heard her nor did she care what they thought of what she was saying. “I’m waiting.”

  Totally dumbfounded, still holding the bassinet, Mitch stuttered. “I..I don’t know.”

  “What do you mean you don’t know?” Not waiting for Mitch to respond, Kanile pointed both hands in the direction of the baby who was playing peacefully in the bassinet. “Damn it, you’d better have some answers because you’ve got a lot explaining to do. Now, I want you to get rid of all these damn people,” she pointed towards the backyard, “because I want to hear from you how something like this could’ve happened.” In a huff, Kanile turned to go back into the house. As if the life had suddenly drained out of her body, she turned back to Mitch.

  “How could you do this to me? How could you, Mitch?”

  Mitch looked helpless as Kanile turned, and inside the door, she gave him one more hateful glare before slamming the door behind her. Not only was he completely shocked about what had just happened but what was that strange sensation that settled in the pit of his stomach at the sight of Sophia. Mitch took the baby inside the house and sat the bassinet atop the kitchen counter. He went outside through the kitchen door. Kanile didn’t know nor did she care what apologies he made to dismiss their guests just as long as he did and get back inside to face her music. Mitch re-entered the kitchen to see Kanile sitting at their kitchen table, weeping wildly. She looked up as he stood with his back against the door. She leaped from her chair with such force that the chair was knocked to the floor as she rushed up to her husband and began pounding him in his chest with both fists.