The Sin, The Sun, & The Shame

by Leigh Mcknight

  “You son of a bitch. What have you done?”

  Mitch caught both of her hands, restraining her blows. “Calm down, Kanile.”

  “Calm down my ass,” she screamed, unable to loosen her husband’s grip on her wrists.

  “How did you get involved with that child and have a baby with her? And don’t you even try to tell me that child isn’t yours.” She glanced over at the baby in the bassinet. “Because that child looks exactly like you. He looks more like you than our son.”

  Mitch hated to admit it but he knew what Kanile said was true. One look at that baby and anyone would know who his daddy was.

  “Who was that girl?”

  “No one.”

  “Oh she is someone alright. We would not be where we are right now if she were no one. Now who is she? How long have you known her? Does she live around here?” The questions flew out of Kanile’s mouth. “And, the way you looked at her just then, don’t think I didn’t catch that. What’s up with that, Mitch? Who was that girl, that child?”

  “I never meant to hurt you, I swear.”

  “Didn’t you think that sleeping with someone else would hurt me?”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “That much is absolutely correct,” she sneered as she tried to free her hands again. “You are sorry. Now, let go of me!”

  “I will let you go if you calm down and give me a chance to explain.”

  After struggling some more and unable to free herself of his grip, Kanile calmed down as much as she was able to and she sat back down. After a moment, Mitch released her hands. He removed a glass from the cabinet, pulled a bottle of Scotch from another cabinet, and poured himself a drink. He gulped down the liquid before he pulled out a chair and sat at the table across from his wife.

  “You remember when we went to Myrtle Beach last year and you didn’t have time for me? You partied with a bunch of strangers, leaving me alone in our suite.”

  “What are you talking about?” Kanile screamed at Mitch.

  “All I wanted to do was spend time with you.” Mitch closed his eyes and threw his head back. “I’m only interested in you, Kanile. I love you, but I got caught up and I need you to understand that.”

  “I feel like you have pulled the rug out from under me.”

  “Kanile, you know where we were in our relationship when we first went to Myrtle Beach. If you don’t, I do. I know what it was and I know what it wasn’t and it wasn’t pleasant.” Mitch looked at his wife and added, “but things are good with us now, damn good. I just have to make you see that I was wrong in what I did and find a way to make you forgive me.”

  “Good luck with that.”

  Mitch ignored that comment. “Are you gonna let me tell you what happened or are you gonna scream at me all day?”

  Kanile settled back in her seat and glared at Mitch.

  Mitch had a tightening in his chest, but he cleared his throat and began talking and he didn’t stop until the whole sordid story was out.

  “What do you want me to do with that?” Kanile snapped. “What should I do with what you’ve just told me?”

  “I don’t know. I know I don’t have the right to ask anything of you, Kanile, but all I can say is I am sorry and I hope we will try to work through this. I made a horrible mistake. I need to have my ass kicked. I know that, and I’ll take anything you want to do to me but please, please don’t give up on me, on what we have. I don’t want to lose you.”

  “I would leave your ass for the infidelity alone but you have thrown not only an underage girl into the mix, you brought a baby into our marriage on top of everything.” Kanile closed her eyes and shook her head as if to rid the ugly thought running amuck in her mind. “You must think I am some kind of a damn fool.”

  “No, baby. I don’t think that at all.” Mitch got up from his chair and walked over to where his wife was sitting. He reached for her hands but she drew her arms tightly across her chest. He kneeled on the floor beside her chair. “Kanile, please.”

  Tears were still falling down Kanile’s cheeks.

  “Don’t cry, please. Baby, I am so sorry. Please forgive me.”

  “You took me on vacation and you didn’t want to do a damn thing but stay cooped up in that hotel room. So because I went out to have a little fun, you took your old ass out, got all turned up with some little underage bitch, you get her pregnant and now that baby is here in my damn house?” Kanile hissed. She was so angry that her body was shaking in her chair.

  “Kanile, I was wrong, and I’m willing to take responsibility for what I did. But I am asking you to let me make it up to you, please? I love you so much. You know that. Things just got crazy and I failed you. We now have everything we worked so hard for. Our life is good. Our life is great and if we could build on that…… Kanile, if we care about each other as much as I believe we do, then we should at least try to save that.”

  Kanile looked at Mitch as though he had three heads. “Are you serious? Do you think there is something left between us that can be saved? If you really think that, it only shows what a messed up perverted ass you really are.”

  That remark stunned Mitch. “Do you really think so little of me? I’m human, Kanile. It happened one night. I’ve never cheated on you before or after. It was a mistake. I don’t know how many times or how many ways I can say it. There’s no excuse for what I did. All I can say is that it just happened.”

  “Do you have any idea what this girl’s parents could do to you for what you did to their daughter? If she even has parents. What kind of decent parents would have a daughter get involved with a married man who is more than twice her age and gets herself into this kind of trouble?”

  Mitch didn’t respond. He allowed Kanile to vent.

  “You fucked a kid, Mitch.” She squinted up her face as though it repulsed her to speak the words. “Who does that? No one, other than some old ass perverted man who wants to feel good about himself.”

  Mitch had heard enough about how perverted he was. “Damn it, Kanile, none of this would have happened if you had treated me with a little respect. It was really what you did, how you behaved, that caused me to do what I did. I work hard, I provide for my family and all I wanted to do was get away for a bit, relax, and spend some quality time with my wife, but you weren’t having any of that.” Mitch lifted his shoulders in a helpless gesture.

  “You are blaming me for what happened?”

  “No, I’m not. I’m just trying to explain how this happened.. I went to a club, I had a couple of drinks and,” he paused. “Well, you know the rest.”

  “How would you feel if I’d gone out and fucked some random stranger while we were on vacation?”

  Mitch looked his wife squarely in the eyes. “I really don’t know that you didn’t, Kanile. You indicated as much.”

  “Fuck you.” Kanile shot Mitch a hateful look, getting out of her seat. “We’re done here.”

  “Just take it easy,” he put his hands on her shoulders, forcing her back in her seat. “Let me fix this. Please.”

  “I’m gonna make this real simple for you. There’s no way for you to fix this. There’s no way for you to undo all the misery you’ve created,” she yelled, her eyes dancing with more anger than he had ever seen from her. She raised up from the chair again, this time not allowing Mitch to restrain her. “Look, I am done and now I want you to get your ass out of here and take your little bastard with you.” Kanile was about to leave the room.

  “Come on, Kanile. Let’s not do this.”

  “Just get out, Mitch.”

  Mitch sighed heavily, and then he relented, and threw up his hands. “I’ll sleep on the couch tonight and we’ll leave in the morning.”

  “I want you out of here tonight, both of you. And just so you know, getting rid of me is not going to be a picnic because I intend to get paid. I will screw you over six ways from Sunday. Keep that in mind, Mr. Sexy,” she hurled sarcastically as she stormed out of the kitchen.

  Even whe
n people made stupid choices, Mitch believed they had the ability to turn them around and do the right thing. It was obvious Kanile didn’t share that belief. Mitch packed a bag and he and the baby left the house. He put the baby in the backseat of his car and after strapping in the car seat, Mitch drove to a nearby hotel and checked in.

  * * *

  That was almost six years ago. Mitch and Sophia’s one nightstand had led to a life that combined lust and betrayal into an explosive concoction. That one night of weakness was enough to do great damage and it had. Mitch seldom saw Kanile after that day, she filed for a divorce, and as soon as the divorce was final a year later, she got married again. This time, she married a politician, her friend, Tracy’s brother. Mitch just hoped Kanile was living the life she dreamed of and that she was happy.

  Mitch went through the process of buying a house, setting up a nursery in the home for the baby, buying clothes, obtaining a pediatrician for his son, and he secured a competent nanny. While the nanny cared for Mitch’s son, he left his old firm and started his own business. It seemed everything he touched turned to gold. His real estate listings were extensive. It wasn’t long before Mitch had so many projects in the works that it was necessary to double his staff to reduce his load. Although he was the owner of his company, he had volunteered to head up many of the out of town training sessions for his new brokers.

  * * *

  “Dad.”

  “What is it, son?” Mitch answered his six year old while driving him to the day care.

  “Why don’t I have a mommy?”

  Although Mitch knew he and his son would have this conversation one day, still he was a little taken aback when it happened. That was the first time the subject of Mitch Junior’s mother came up since Sophia dropped off their son a little over six years ago and left. They hadn’t heard a word from her since.

  “Why do you ask, son? Aren’t you happy with our lives, our home, and living with just me?”

  “Yeah, Dad, I do but all my friends have a mommy. Their moms take them to ball games, to movies and the park, and they play video games,” Mitch Junior explained. “They have pizza and eat hot dogs.”

  Mitch looked over at his son. Over the past few years, he had concentrated so completely on getting over his pain of his broken marriage, the divorce, starting his own company and making a success of it that he had not devoted as much time to his son as he now realized he should have. Mitch had been devastated after Sophia brought his son into their lives; Kanile threw him and the baby out of the house and later divorced him. The only woman who had been in Mitch Junior’s life on a consistent basis was Mrs. Lucy, their live-in nanny and housekeeper. Mitch loved his son from the day he met him but it was Mrs. Lucy who had practically raised Mitch Junior. She had taken him to his medical appointments, school programs, and Mitch Junior owned so many toys and backyard playground equipment that he spent an enormous amount of time entertaining himself at home.

  “Well, son,” Mitch began, “every child does not have a mother and a father in the home. Some kids have a mom and no dad while some others have a dad and no mom, but what those parents try to do is give their child so much love so that the child doesn’t feel that anything is missing. I know you would like to have a mommy, but God didn’t work it out that way for us.”

  “Like Missy and Kevin,” Mitch Junior replied. “They only have a daddy but they don’t have a mommy.”

  Mitch wasn’t sure how else to handle the situation that his son just presented him with.

  “I was thinking about going over to the park on Saturday and throw a few balls to my favorite son. What do you think about that?”

  Mitch Junior’s face broke out into a huge grin. “Really? You and me?”

  “You and I,” Mitch corrected, grinning and added. “Yeah. You and I will get up and after we have breakfast, we will go wherever you want to go. A park, movie. Whatever.”

  “Can we have breakfast at IHOP?”

  “Sure we can, Sport.”

  “Yeah, I love that restaurant. It’s one of my favorite places to have breakfast.”

  Mitch didn’t know that was his son’s favorite breakfast place.

  “Sure we can have breakfast there. That’s one of my favorite restaurants also.”

  “Cool.”

  As Mitch drove through the busy early morning traffic, he reached over and ran his hand over his son’s head as they grinned at each other.

  After a moment, Mitch Junior said, “I bet you didn’t know that Miss Scarborough likes you?”

  “What? No, she doesn’t,” Mitch, with a frown on his face, glanced over at Mitch Junior. “Miss Scarborough?”

  “Yes, she does.”

  Miss Scarborough was a young, attractive teacher at the kindergarten that Mitch Junior attends. “Why do you think Miss Scarborough likes me?”

  “Because she does.”

  “I don’t think so,” Mitch drove expertly through the early morning traffic.

  “Yes she does.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because when you dropped me off yesterday, I heard her talking to Mrs. Barbey about you.”

  “She did. Were you eavesdropping on them? You know it’s not polite to listen in on adults’ conversation or any conversation that doesn’t involve you, right?”

  “I know that and I wasn’t. I was just walking by them, going into my school.”

  Mitch was quiet for a moment. “Well, what did Miss Scarborough say to Mrs. Barbey….about me?”

  “She said you were hot. What did she mean by that, daddy?”

  Mitch chuckled under his breath. “I’m not sure. What do you think she meant by that?”

  “I don’t know but I do think she likes you.”

  “You do, huh?”

  “Yeah. She said something else too,” Mitch Junior said shyly.

  “She did? Do you remember what it was that she said?”

  Mitch Junior glanced over at his father, before he looked back down at the little toy truck he was playing with in his hands. “She said she wouldn’t mind getting with you. Doesn’t that mean she likes you? That’s what my friends said.”

  “Your friends said that, huh?” Mitch tried not to laugh. “She was probably just making conversation. I don’t think she meant anything by what she said.”

  “Okay,” Mitch Junior said and turned to look out the window. Mitch chuckled quietly to himself, but what Mitch Junior said next caught him by surprise. “Miss Scarborough likes me and she likes you and I was thinking if you like her, she might want to be my mom.”

  Mitch looked over at his young son and felt a gamut of emotions rush through him. He saw for the first time the importance of Mitch Junior having a mother in his life. Over the past several years, Mitch had dated a number of women and though he had cared deeply for several of them, enjoyed their company and had had great sex with them, the thought of marrying one of them and having a mother figure in his son’s life had not been something he even had considered. He had always thought his son was happy with the way life had been with them along with Ms. Lucy.

  When Sophia brought Mitch Junior from New York to Philadelphia to Mitch, he believed Sophia was promiscuous even after he found himself to be the first one to breach her barrier. There was no way that he was the only one who had her. And after the way that they parted, he figured that she would have drowned her sorrows in boys her own age. Yet even thinking this way, Mitch never had a DNA test done on Mitch Junior. Not only did the child have Mitch’s eyes, he knew this was his child. He had absolutely no doubt about.

  Mitch pulled into a parking space in the school’s parking lot and switched off the engine. He removed his seat belt, got out of the car and walked around to the other side. With his book bag in hand, Mitch Junior jumped out the car and he walked with his father towards the door to the school, waving to teachers they past with Mitch noticing the look Miss Scarborough sent his way.

  After a long day at work, Mitch headed home. He lov
ed the look in his son’s eyes when he entered their home shortly after five that afternoon.

  “Dad,” Mitch Junior exclaimed, leaping out of his seat at the table where Mrs. Lucy was assisting him with his homework, and he rushed up to his father. “You’re home. Do you have to go back to work?”

  “No. I’m home for the rest of the day. What are you and Mrs. Lucy doing?” Mitch asked.

  “My homework.”

  “You want me to help you finish that?” Mitch offered and winked at his housekeeper as he acknowledged her. “Hello, Mrs. Lucy.”

  “Yeah, Daddy.”

  “Good afternoon, Mr. Harding,” Mrs. Lucy smiled and returned the wink as she got up from the table and headed to the kitchen to finish making dinner.

  “When we get through, we can go bicycle riding for a while,” Mitch said, putting his brief case on the table. He removed his jacket, hung it on the back of a chairs and he sat down next to his son. “What do you say about that?”

  “But you don’t have a bicycle,” Mitch Junior wrinkled up his face as he looked at his father.

  “Yes I do. I bought myself a bike today.”

  “Is that true?” his son squealed. “What color is it?”

  “Fire engine red.”

  “Like mine?”

  “Just like yours.”

  “Oh man.”

  Mitch rolled up his shirt’s sleeve and his son finished his homework. Afterwards, they changed into casual clothes and after donning their helmets; they hopped on their bikes and rode off together.

  “What do you say we stop off and get an ice cream cone before coming back home?” Mitch asked his son.

  “I say yes,” Mitch Junior grinned.

  “If Mrs. Lucy finds out we had ice cream before dinner, we’re gonna be in deep trouble,” Mitch said laughing. Mitch Junior snickered as they continued to ride along together on their bikes.

  Mitch and his son returned home after more than an hour of riding their bikes around the neighborhood and eating ice cream cones. They parked their bikes in the garage and entered the kitchen.