Fae

by C. J. Abedi

  Today.

  Right now.

  Right here.

  I sat back on the couch and waited for her to return.

  When she came back, I would go back to the topic at hand and slowly gather my thoughts so that I could ease into the reality of my feelings and our predicament.

  That was the perfect plan.

  She walked back into the room and handed me the tall glass of water. I drank it all so quickly as she watched me in a state of shock.

  “Do you want some more?”

  “No,” I said as I tried to laugh. “Thanks, my mouth was a little dry.”

  “I know the feeling,” she said as she took a seat next to me.

  “Listen, Caroline,” I began. “I know that this whole situation is understandably mind-numbing. I know that you feel lost, and alone, and scared.”

  She stared at me intensely as her eyes began to fill with tears again.

  “But the reality is that you’re not alone,” I said reaching up to catch the one lone tear that was suddenly making its way down her face. “You have so many people around you that love you and cherish you and will guide you through this time in your life, and soon you will feel whole again.”

  “I can only feel whole when I have all the answers to the questions running through my head.” Her voice was hoarse from crying.

  “I’m sad. Really sad that I’m sixteen years old, and I don’t even know who I really am. Put yourself in my shoes. My life has been a complete lie.” She pointed at Famous who lay curled up in his bed at the foot of the couch. “He is the only real thing I have. Because I know everything about him, and he knows me. Now that I think about it, he’s probably just as lost as I am now.”

  The timing of this discovery couldn’t have been worse. If Caroline began seeking answers to her heritage, the carefully placed cloak around her would be instantly revealed. This would place her in grave danger. The moment she admitted to anyone that she was adopted, and that she recently found out about it, the war would begin. And inevitably, she’d put herself in danger. I couldn’t let that happen.

  “Those questions don’t need answers right now, Caroline; you’ve got to let it be for the sake of your parents,” I said in my most convincing voice. “They would be devastated if they found out that you were already searching for your real parents.”

  “I know. My father said that’s exactly what he’s afraid of. But it’s not fair to me. I want to know. I need to know who I am. Is that too much to ask?”

  “There will be a time when you will know everything. And you’ll have all the answers. And you’ll look back at this moment and wonder why you were in such a hurry to get there.”

  She looked down. I could see that she was clearly disappointed by my answer and that she had wanted to hear it, but I just couldn’t give her that. I couldn’t support any cause that would lead to her harm.

  I smiled at her and spoke as softly as I could.

  “Caroline, you are without a doubt the smartest girl I know. You are also the most compassionate and loving. You have to let your parents deliver this news to you when they are ready. Do you know how they would feel if they knew you found out by overhearing it? They would never forgive themselves.”

  Caroline looked away from me. Her gray eyes were glossy and I could see that her mind was working. I knew her well. She could never add suffering into her parents’ life. She knew it would break their hearts. I pushed even further so that there would be no hesitation on her part.

  “And think about how tough the economic situation is right now. I mean, I don’t know how your parents’ business is doing, but if they have that stress compounded with this…I’d be surprised if they even sleep at night.” I knew that I was playing unfairly. It took less than a minute for her to make up her mind.

  “I guess you’re right.”

  I knew that she wouldn’t give up that easily and that there would be a time when she’d come back to this. Probably sooner rather than later. But I could live with her prolonging the inevitable even for a bit.

  “I know you have a very inquisitive nature, and you’re probably not going to listen to me because you’re also very stubborn,” I told her as I tried to lighten the mood in the room. “But just imagine if your parents discovered that you were investigating your background. They would be devastated.”

  She nodded at me. She was so trusting at this moment that I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt at trying to force her to let go of the issue.

  “It’s just frustrating to sit on the sidelines and wait for someone to provide you with the information instead of trying to find it yourself,” she said, almost defensively. “How would they even know?”

  “We live in a very small town, Caroline.” I tried to sound as patient and compassionate as possible. “News like this would spread like wildfire. You need to respect your parents. If they heard that you found out about your background from a perfect stranger, they wouldn’t like that. Or if they knew that you overheard them on the stairwell. Do you really think that’s how your mom imagined she would tell you some day?”

  She sighed and finally relented. I had won. I knew I had bought us some time, and I let the relief wash over me.

  “Your grandfather might be able to help me, Devilyn,” she said with hope in her eyes. “He’s lived here for so long, he might know something. He would keep it a secret if I asked him. I know he would.”

  I looked at her carefully and tried not to smile. This was the answer. Odin would be the perfect person to contain this situation. I kept my voice completely neutral when I replied.

  “I’ll talk to him, provided that you listen to what I’ve said.”

  “I will,” she said with a thrilled voice, as I reached out my hand and placed it on her cheek.

  “I’m going to have to go to football practice.”

  “Thank you for checking on me,” Caroline said politely as I watched the shy mask come over her face again. I couldn’t stop the smile.

  “Of course…”

  Forever, I thought.

  Caroline’s eyes widened for a moment as if she had heard the words in my head. Then she looked down.

  “Devilyn?”

  “Yes?”

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course.”

  “How did you…” she stammered for a moment, “I mean, why did you come over?”

  I tried to calm the racing of my heart before I answered her.

  “Because I care.”

  C

  I drove through the rain-filled streets of Roanoke with a sudden excitement and sense of hope that I hadn’t felt in a long time. Despite the many unanswered questions that faced me, there was one thing that I knew for sure.

  Devilyn cared.

  He told me in his words, and he showed me in his actions. I no longer had to question his feelings or even suppress my own. I knew that we were on the verge of entering unchartered territory, but I also knew now, more than ever, that I was in good hands.

  I smiled in a way I hadn’t in days. The glow lit up from within my core. It overtook me, moved through my heart, and made its way up to my lips. I shook away the moment of happiness and stared at the road ahead.

  I pulled up to Teddy’s house and honked the horn. He ran out and jumped into my car.

  “Hey!”

  “Thanks for joining me,” I told him with a smile.

  “Nothing beats a trip to the grocery store,” Teddy said, gesturing to a massive shopping list. “My mom asked for a whole lot of stuff.”

  “Great.”

  Teddy looked over at me. “You seem happy.”

  “Really?”

  “Seriously. You’ve looked so down lately, but today you seem alive again. Like the old Caroline but different. Happy Caroline,” Teddy told me.

  I laughed. “Thanks Teddy. I feel good. I haven’t felt like this in a while.”

  “Any particular rea
son?”

  “No not really,” I replied untruthfully as I pulled into the parking lot. I went up and down the parking aisles until I finally found a spot. Teddy didn’t ask any more questions as we both jumped out of the car and grabbed our own shopping carts.

  “Race you inside!” Teddy yelled as he began running like a wild man toward the doors to the store.

  I chased after him gleefully until my keys flew out of my hand, and I had to stop to pick them up. Teddy had already made his way to the doors, jumping up and down like a lunatic. As I reached down to get my keys a pair of old hands beat me to it.

  I stood and faced the woman in shock.

  I remembered her from my childhood. Her name was Brighid. She was an incredible psychic and had been around forever. She had predicted many things for the people around town. While a handful was petrified of her, the others were dying to have the answers to all the questions about their future. She was especially gifted because unlike most psychics, she had yet to be wrong with a prediction.

  I had met her once when I was eleven years old. I’d been with my parents in a utility store back in town and was wandering the aisles alone. I don’t think that I’d ever forget the experience of running into the older woman with the wild gray hair and electric blue eyes.

  I remember that I had been playing with a small ball, bouncing it up and down the aisle, when I had lost control of it, and it began rolling away out of my control and down the long aisle. I chased after it, not once removing my eyes from its erratic manner, until it finally came to a halt at the tip of her black boots.

  I looked up to find her staring down at me. I hadn’t been afraid of her as everyone else was—only curious. She immediately bent down and picked up my ball, holding it out for me.

  “We can’t have you lose your shiny new toy,” she said with a smile. “Now can we?”

  I slowly shook my head but continued staring up at her unusual face. She had only said a few words, but I was mesmerized. I had remembered so many accounts of her looks, and she was always described as being terribly unattractive and almost frightening.

  But I had found her to be just the opposite.

  She had smiled back and watched me carefully, her gaze steady on mine. “Here you go, dear,” she said as she handed it back to me.

  “Thank you,” I barely managed to say as I slowly took the ball out of her hand.

  “Look at the beautiful palm of your tiny hand,” she replied with a crackly voice as she slowly turned it over and stared down at the many lines. Her eyes immediately had taken on a faraway look. I let the ball drop and stared down at the small lines of my palm as she traced each one with the tip of her long nail.

  “You have a great destiny.”

  “Destiny? What do you mean?”

  Brighid beamed.

  “You are not who you think you are, Caroline Ellis. Now, don’t forget your ball.”

  I looked down to find my ball, and when I looked back up, she was gone.

  She had simply vanished.

  I had never forgotten that moment. Or her words. Maybe I had known the truth in them at that moment in my life. She was much older now, the many lines on her face told the tale of years past, and yet her bright blue eyes had not lost their luster. With eyes like those, she didn’t need to speak at all, they told me everything.

  “I always knew I would see you again, Caroline Ellis,” she told me as she handed me my keys. “You certainly have a propensity for dropping things.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “I can’t believe you remember my name.” I couldn’t keep the surprise out of my voice.

  “I would never forget you,” she replied with a smile.

  “Thanks again. Sorry, but my friend is waiting for me,” I told her as I started to walk away. I could see Teddy curiously watching us from inside.

  “Caroline Ellis.”

  “Yes?”

  She faced me looking so strong and yet so fragile.

  “You have two small moles on your back. In between these sacred marks lies the story of your life. From childhood until the day your soul will leave this great earth. One is on your shoulder and the other on your lower back, and all of the answers lie in the vast area in between.”

  The goosebumps that moved over my body came naturally. No one knew about my moles except for my mother.

  “You are not who you think you are,” she continued.

  “I know that now.” I couldn’t prevent myself from blurting out the truth.

  She shook her head at me and smiled.

  “This is not about your parents, my child. This is about your essence.”

  “I’m sorry?” I asked in confusion.

  “He feeds your soul.”

  My heart stopped.

  “He feeds your life. He helps you breathe. He makes your heart beat. He is your true mate. You will not be able to live without him.”

  Brighid looked at me and smiled.

  “It is a blessing to come across such a love in one’s life. Most of us search for eternity. And never find it.” She sounded almost sad as she said the last words.

  “He has all of the answers, dear girl.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “You do.” Her smile was enigmatic. “Now have a lovely day, dear.”

  She walked away before I even had a chance to ask her another question. I would have chased after her, but Teddy had moved his cart up to mine. He stared after Brighid.

  “What did the crazy lady tell you?”

  “She’s not crazy.”

  “Caroline, everyone knows she’s not playing with a full deck.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. She’s harmless,” I replied defensively as I watched Brighid walk away. “She’s just old.”

  “Old doesn’t mean harmless, Caroline.”

  I turned to face Teddy, wanting more than anything to defend her, but when I looked up at the smirk on his face, I realized that I wouldn’t make any headway and gave up.

  “We have a lot of shopping to do,” I said instead. “Let’s go.” I couldn’t help but glance back to see if I could catch another glimpse of her, but she was nowhere to be seen.

  D

  I knew I was dreaming.

  I was deep in the forest of the Light Fae surrounded by ancient trees. Tall, long, lush trees that shielded me from the outside world. I walked toward the circle of runes that emerged majestically from the ground.

  “You came of your own free will this time,” Brighid said as she walked from behind one of the tall stones. She was dressed in a long black robe with her hair clipped back for a change and her expression solemn.

  “You called for me, and I thought I shouldn’t fight it as I always have,” I told her.

  Her smile didn’t reach her eyes.

  “Come.”

  I followed her into the circle where she reached out and took my hand. She whispered an ancient verse, and we were gone. In a blink of an eye I stood outside an enormous castle. It was magnificent. Surrounded by a magical mist and a beautiful blue moat.

  It was fit for a king.

  The drawbridge slowly lowered to the ground, and I began to walk across. I was in awe of the beauty that surrounded me. When I reached the other side I saw many familiar faces from Dana’s court. They were somber.

  All wearing black.

  Waiting in silence for me. I moved up to them and made my way through the crowd as each of them stepped aside, slowly revealing whatever it was that they were shielding me from. I looked in the faces of every person I passed. I wondered what it was that they were keeping from me.

  And then I saw it for myself.

  Caroline.

  My beloved.

  My queen.

  Caroline lay motionless on a bed of Lemurian crystals, lifted high out of the ground so that she was eye-level with all those who gazed upon her. Her magnificent hair cast arou
nd her like the perfect crown. She was dressed in a deep purple gown, the color of royalty, representing the house of Tuatha DéDanann. Her beautiful gray eyes were closed peacefully as if she was asleep.

  But I knew better.

  I fell to my knees before her. The pain that consumed me made me incapable of breathing. I tried. I tried to control the anguish, the sorrow, that consumed me, but it was so overwhelming that I could only throw my head back and scream. I stood up and lifted Caroline’s lifeless body into my arms as the tears flowed freely down my face.

  “No! No! No!” I shook her and pulled her high up against my chest as I placed kisses all over her beautiful face. Her cold face. I looked at them as I held her against my body. They had each moved up and were now circling me.

  My court. My people.

  The sea of faces had now become my enemies.

  “Is this what you wanted? Is this the end?” I screamed at them in fury, “Does this justify everything?

  Ella stepped forward. Her face filled with sorrow.

  “Devilyn,” she pleaded with me. Through the fog, I could momentarily see and feel the depth of her sadness, as if she was feeling my pain. But all I could see was Caroline, my beloved wife. Gone. For this petty war between us?

  I staggered back from her—from them all—and turned.

  “Open your eyes,” Brighid whispered to me. “See yourself.”

  And then I did.

  Instantaneously.

  I was facing a mirror holding Caroline. I was wearing an elaborate black cape with dark clothes underneath. And on my head, I wore a black crown with jagged ends and one of the largest black diamonds I had ever seen at the top.

  And then I knew.

  I was wearing the crown of the Dark Fae.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Tis the old secret of the godsthat they come in low disguises.”

  —Ralph Waldo Emerson

  The Kingdom of the Dark Fae

  The garden surrounding the stream was inviting, relaxing. As the water made its way over and through the rocks it created a soft, soothing sound, almost like a lullaby. A few had gathered in anticipation of the stallion’s findings. But one waited most impatiently for the Kelpie to begin speaking. Alderon was not one to be crossed, and members of the Faerie court were growing silently concerned that the Kelpie had once again failed him.