Lust & Trust: She thought he was worth the risk... Her friends didn't.

by Amanda Cain

  “I agree. Sierra’s liking me should help you know I’m a good guy. Dogs have pretty good instincts. But, Em, there are things I prefer not to tell you right now, but I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Ask me anything you need to. I won’t lie.”

  “I know, I believe you. Maybe, in the same way you’d prefer not to tell me whatever it is you don’t want me to know, I’m also not ready to ask. Let’s stick with the plan and ride this thing out.”

  Ryan took my hand. “What if we can’t? What if this thing gets too real?”

  I desperately wanted a way to lighten the conversation. It already was too real, which was why I didn’t want to know whatever he was hiding. I didn’t want this to end.

  “That sounds like a question we should put on the ‘don’t ask’ list.” I took a bite of Ryan’s chocolate cake.

  “You’re a little bit crazy, but that works for me.” Ryan laughed.

  We finished eating, stopped at the local grocery store to get some supplies, and came back to my house. We spent a lazy evening playing a game of Scrabble, which I won. "Too bad I didn't bet you that I could beat you at Scrabble," I teased.

  "I would pretend you did and let you do all kinds of wonderfully naughty things to me, but it's late, and you need your rest. Tomorrow is a workday for you."

  As much as I liked the idea of doing perverted things to him, he was right. I was exhausted.

  Ryan scratched behind Sierra's ears. "Come on, girl, I'll take you for a walk while your mom gets ready for bed."

  I crawled into bed and drifted off within minutes, wrapped in the comfort of Ryan's arms.

  Ryan was already up and in the kitchen when my alarm went off. I wandered in, my eyes barely open. He handed me a cup of coffee.

  "What are you doing?"

  "I believe our arrangement was you provide the bed and I provide my services." He bent down and kissed my forehead, ignoring my dislike for this whole forehead-kissing thing. He turned me around, smacked me on the butt, and pushed me toward the bathroom. "Now go take a shower while I finish cooking."

  I came back into the kitchen dressed and ready for work. Ryan promised to take Sierra for her run after I left.

  "Everything smells delicious." I sat on the stool at the island and dug in.

  I watched him as he flipped through the Westword, Denver's local paper that highlighted all the events and happenings around town. Although I also used their app, I still preferred the old-school feel of a newspaper and always picked up the latest printed edition.

  At that moment, I was so content. This amazing man, who I shared my bed with last night, was sitting at my counter wearing nothing but his boxers, reading my copy of Westword, eating the breakfast he cooked for us. It didn't get any better than this. Oh wait, it does! He will be here when I come home! I embraced myself, giggling lightheartedly.

  Ryan peered over his paper, arching his brow. "That playful laugh is one of the first things that drew me to you…" his smile widened "…but why are you giggling?"

  "Just happy, but I guess I better go."

  He got up and put his arms around me.

  "If you think you're going to get away with kissing me on the forehead …"

  Ryan caressed my face, cupping my chin in his hand, and leaned in, parting my lips with his tongue—tenderly at first then harder. I was aware of his hardness pressing against my belly.

  "Do you think you could be a little late for work this morning?" he whispered, his mouth caressing the back of my ear.

  "I wish I could, but Char and I are meeting with a client this morning to discuss a project we need to deliver on Friday." I bent down and kissed the head of his cock over his boxers. "I will see you both later." I laughed and left for work.

  Chapter 16

  Ryan

  I stood at the door and watched her leave. Damn, I was one lucky guy. But for how long? No, I'm not going to overthink this. Whatever happens, happens. I doubt things will end well, but for now I intend to be one hundred percent invested. Monogamously, fucking until we weren't having fun anymore. Just like Em said.

  Once dressed, I found Sierra's leash. "I'm going to share a secret with you today, but you have to promise not to tell your mom." Sierra barked and gave me her paw.

  "Deal. Come on, girl, let's go for a ride."

  Sierra sat in the front seat with me. I stopped to get a few groceries, some doggy dishes, and food and treats to keep at the house for Sierra.

  I pulled into my four-mile driveway and realized how much I missed spending time here. How fun it would be to spend weekends with Em in Evergreen. "Well, at least I can share it with you." I patted Sierra on the head and let her out of the truck.

  This place was my oasis, and I spared no expense to make things the way I wanted.

  Nothing pretentious or too big, the house fit my style. I found the land first and bought 105 acres then built the house. It took a while to locate the acreage I wanted, so when I did, I purchased as much land as they would let me at a stiff price.

  The backyard of the house had several hills with manmade trails leading to the mountainous area. About a mile into one of the paths was a stream. A few miles down the stream was a waterfall that cascaded off a cliff into a small lake. The front of the house faced a plain where you could sit out on the porch and watch the clouds roll in.

  I came up with some ideas for my home from my buddy Jim, the architect I used and the owner of the house Em and I stayed at in Boulder. He'd used my house a few times when I was in Chicago, so he owed me. I called him on the favor when Em and I went to the foothills.

  There was a small recreational pool that I had put in for Melissa off to the side but still viewable from the deck. Housed underneath the main structure was a fifty-meter lap pool, complete gym, and sauna. The area was similar to a basement but enclosed in heavy glass that let light in. I wasn't a big swimmer, but I figured Melissa would use it, and it would be helpful if I ever wanted to sell. Now the lap pool reminded me of my time with Emma in Boulder—and her tiny bathing suit that only pretended to cover her fantastic body.

  Sierra went from room to room, inspecting her new surroundings. Then I let her outside where she played, chasing rabbits and squirrels, while I mended some areas of broken fence. I did an extensive workout and then set off on a hike with Sierra.

  Emma had been on my mind all day. "Sierra, if I could, I swear I would bring your mom up here, take away all her clothes, and spend every day fucking her." After I said it, I shook my head. "Maybe Charlotte's right. Maybe I am a sociopath."

  Sierra cocked her head to the side. "No worries, girl, not a sociopath, just a sexual deviant who loves your momma." What did I just say?! Of course, I didn't mean it, did I?

  By the time I got back to Emma's, she was already home.

  Sierra and I came through the front door as Emma was standing at the fridge pouring a glass of tea.

  "Well hello, guys. Where ya been?" she asked as she bent down to hug Sierra.

  I promised no new lies. So, I guess it's time to tell her. "Sierra and I took a drive up the mountain …"

  I saw Em standing there, sipping her tea, looking so damn beautiful. I didn't want to lose her. I wasn't ready to take a chance on the truth. I didn't finish my sentence or tell her where I had spent my day. Instead, I backed her against "our wall" and rammed my tongue down her mouth as though it were my dick. I unbuttoned the shirt she was wearing and squeezed her breast harder than I should. Biting her bottom lip, I slipped my hand down her panties and in between her legs.

  The thought of anyone else ever holding her against this wall or feeling the softness between her legs made me furious. I rammed my fingers into her, knowing I was too forceful but not stopping. Her breathing was faster, but I did not want to look into her eyes. I wrapped my arms around her body and pulled her into the living room, bending her over the couch, spreading her legs and cupping her ass in my hands. I rammed into her pussy relentlessly, relieved she was wet.

 
Turning her around, I sat her on the sofa facing me and pulled her legs up around me, prolonging my assault on her body and not holding back. I couldn't get close enough, needing to be a part of her, inside her, and in control of her. About to come, I forced myself not to. I wanted to claim her.

  Emma’s insides began throbbing against my skin as she came. My awareness of her orgasm made me even crazier. When I let myself come, I was exhausted and a little ashamed of my forcefulness. I pulled out and got on my knees. Emma's legs were now over my shoulders. I laid my head between her legs, resting it on her stomach with my arms around her waist, still avoiding her eyes.

  She ran her fingers through my hair, and I could feel her watching me. After a while, I forced myself to glance at her. Her eyes were sultry and her hair wild. She was so sexy and yet so vulnerable.

  "Emma, I'm sorry."

  "Stop. I needed you too." She pulled me onto the couch.

  "I owe you, baby," I said, putting my arms around her.

  "And I shall collect," she said as her eyes closed and she drifted off.

  The rest of the week went by way too fast. I tried to teach Em how to make Chicken Teriyaki and strawberry shortcake for dessert, which ended up in a whipped cream fight and burnt chicken. She was not kidding. She could not cook.

  She shared parts of her life with me, but she was holding back. I couldn't blame her. I didn't volunteer much about my life. I was surprised to learn she'd been divorced. And I was selfishly pleased that her marriage ended in divorce. I wondered if the marriage failed due to her commitment issues or if her failed marriage is what caused her commitment issues. I wanted to learn everything about her, but it didn't seem fair to ask a bunch of questions regarding her past without providing much of my own.

  Saturday morning arrived way too fast, and it was time to go to Grand Lake. I was apprehensive, under the circumstances, about spending the next twenty-four hours with Char and Bob. We pulled up in front of their house around 6:00 AM. Char greeted us at the door, and we embraced. She appeared a little uneasy and less than thrilled to see me, but at least she was pleasant.

  Em and I were taking her Jeep to the lake, while Char and Bob took their truck, towing the boat behind. Early morning traffic was light, and I was distracted by Emma's short shorts and shapely legs. I reached over and rubbed her thigh with one hand as I drove. She released a soft cry and squirmed in her seat. Curious about her reaction, I leaned over and pulled the crotch of her shorts to one side and slipped my finger inside. To my surprise, she was unbelievably wet.

  Emma's hips rose as I thrust my finger in her.

  "This calls for a detour," she moaned.

  We were in the middle of nowhere, so I took the next exit off the main highway, which led to an isolated country road. As soon as the car stopped, Emma jumped out, running over to the driver side.

  "Take off your pants," she ordered.

  Seeing no reason to argue, my pants and boxers came off. On her knees, she put my cock in her mouth. I felt the back of her throat as the warmth of her lips wrapped around me.

  "Come for me, baby," she murmured as she put her hands around me.

  "No, Em, crawl on top of me. I want to be inside you." I pulled her up and moved to the backseat, where Emma pushed me down and rammed me inside her. As we came, we heard a car coming down the road.

  "Someone's coming!" Emma said as she rolled off me and found her shorts. Emma had gotten herself dressed, and I was struggling with pulling my pants all the way up when the car stopped.

  "Stay down and let me handle this," I ordered, concerned for her safety.

  I stepped out of the Jeep with my shirt open, unaware my zipper was still undone. Bob and Char pulled up next to us.

  "Um, Em? Maybe you better handle this," I said.

  Em sat up and got out of the car, laughing.

  Bob rolled down his window. "When we didn't see you behind us, we worried you had a flat or something."

  Charlotte emerged from the other side of the truck. "Everything all right? I tried calling, but you didn't answer." She stopped, glanced at me and then at Em. The anger swam in her eyes, "Are you freaking kidding me? You two couldn't make it a two-hour drive?" She shook her head.

  I pointed at Emma. "Blame her!" I said, flashing my most charming smile, hoping it would lighten her mood. It didn't.

  Em called for Sierra, who had been exploring the side of the road, to get back in the Jeep.

  "Sorry for the detour, guys. We will fall in behind you once you turn around," I said.

  Bob turned toward Char. "Maybe you two should go on ahead. We'll be there in a minute. I want to look under the hood. She was making some strange noises earlier."

  "Anything I can help with?" I asked, not noticing the way Bob was looking at Char.

  Bob laughed. "Charlotte might enjoy that, but I think I've got this."

  Charlotte blushed, and Em looked at me. "Seriously?" she asked, cocking her head and giving me a look that let me know I'd missed something. When I caught on, I felt like an idiot. We pulled the Jeep around, and we headed for Grand Lake.

  I popped in my iPod and Train's “Hey Soul Sister” came on. Emma started singing along. I had to laugh. Although she was oblivious, Em was tone deaf. The girl couldn't boil water or carry a tune.

  We arrived at the lake where we were sharing a two-bedroom cabin. I would had preferred to rent a cabin of our own, but I knew Em thought sharing would be "cozy."

  Bob and I worked at getting the boat in the water. Then it was time for us to relax. The girls sat in the back chatting while Bob and I sat up front.

  I was enjoying the day. Being out on the lake was peaceful, and so far Char had not asked me any awkward questions. She even seemed relaxed. I noticed Bob watching Emma, and I felt I owed him some sort of explanation, but what?

  I grabbed two beers from the cooler and handed one to Bob.

  "Have you told her?" he asked.

  "No."

  "Are you going to?"

  And I thought Charlotte would be the problem. I shook my head. "I guess I hadn't thought this through." I ran my fingers through my hair and took a sip of beer.

  "When Char finds out I've been withholding information, especially something like this, she's going to banish me to the couch for months. Don't hurt her, Ryan. Em's a great girl."

  "Em being terrific is the one thing I am sure of," I said sincerely. "I'm enjoying our time together, but I don't want to hurt her. We've been avoiding conversations about family, work and …"

  "And real last names," Bob interjected.

  I inhaled, taking a deep breath, "I know, I lied to her."

  "Smith?" Bob shook his head but then smiled.

  "Yeah, good thing I don't need to be creative in my work." I joked. "This is going to sound crazy, but Em gave me a pass on my first few lies and doesn't want to know about them. I can't imagine why she is letting me off the hook, but I'm glad she is."

  "Yeah, I heard about that. I get an earful every day from Char on how irresponsible she thinks Em is acting."

  "Ouch. Damn, Bob. I'm sorry. I'll figure this out soon."

  "It's not that I owe you, although I do. If I had been on time instead of five minutes late, I would have been right there with you twelve years ago."

  "Ancient history, dude. No sense in both of us being fucked."

  "Not to mention hiring my firm helped me make partner," he added.

  "I didn't hire you because we were friends. It was business. You and your firm do a great job."

  "Thanks, I appreciate that. I haven't said anything to Char because I think you and Em need to figure it out. When I met Char, it was an instant connection. I knew within the first week I wasn't going anywhere.”

  “I appreciate you not saying anything to Char and Em. I know I'm asking a lot, but can you give me a little more time?"

  Bob nodded his head and smiled. "I guess a little more time isn't going to change how pissed off Char is going to be when she finds out."

  The t
opic moved to other less personal things. Bob and I bullshitted about fishing and the important questions of life, like who was hotter: Maryann or Ginger?

  As we stood up to interrupt the girl's chat fest, Bob brought the conversation back to Emma. "Maybe you should give some thought as to why Em gave you a free pass on your lying. Be careful, Ryan. Something is developing between you two."

  I worried that he was right.

  Watching them together, it dawned on me how close Charlotte and Em were, which also made me appreciate how difficult it must be for Bob not to say anything.

  Chapter 17

  Ryan

  Monday came around too soon. It sucked. I didn't want to leave. I wished I were able to ask her to come with me, to introduce her to my daughter. To have a normal relationship. Instead, I was about to put more space between us.

  "It might be a little longer before I can come back to Denver this time," I apologized.

  I saw the uncertainty in her eyes and her face reflected all the things she wanted to ask. “How long?”

  “Not sure. Probably two weeks. There are some things I need to take care of.”

  I took the coward's way out and waited until Em had to leave for work before telling her. I’d promised Melissa she could stay with me for a week again. After my conversation with Bob on the boat, I made the decision to meet with my attorney. Was I starting to care too much? Probably. The longer this went on, the harder it would be, and the further away from the truth things would get. I'd talk to my attorney and then go from there.

  Hugging Em goodbye at the door, I kissed her. After she had left for work, I packed up my things and said bye to Sierra. “I hope I see you again, girl.” She stood on her hind legs and planted a big kiss on me. What a great dog.

  I placed a package on the table for Emma and locked the door behind me.

  On the flight home, my mind drifted over the last few days and how much I enjoyed being with Em. I cared about her, but how much? I hadn't allowed myself to fall for any woman in fourteen years. Until now, I didn't think myself capable.

  I needed time to come to grip with what we had. Was it just sex or something real? If it was real, what do I do? Unless my attorney had some great news for me, the best thing for Emma would be for me to cut her loose.