Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 9

by Fujino Omori

  “Wi…Wilusine?”

  “Huh?” Everyone responds with confusion, and even the goddess tilts her head to the side. Maybe I tried a little too hard to come up with a striking name?

  “If I may ask, Master Bell…Is that name based on a fairy in a hero’s tale…?”

  Well…crap.

  Haruhime, who likes myths and legends about heroes as much as I do, saw right through me.

  There is a story about a fairy with wings of light named Melusine. The story revolves around her falling in love with a hero who saved her life, as well as her efforts to blend in with people and try to live among them. She tells the hero to never peek while she’s cleansing herself, but he eventually breaks that promise and winds up seeing her wings, exposing her true form…They become separated afterward but reunite to slay a dragon that threatens to destroy the hero’s hometown.

  I’ve liked Melusine’s story since I was a kid, so combine that name with vouivre and you get…Wilusine.

  Too easy?

  “Not a bad name, especially considering it was Mr. Bell’s idea. A bit grandiose, though.”

  “Yeah, and long. Stands out like a sore thumb.”

  “Hmmm. Okay then, why don’t we call her Wiene? Sounds cute, don’t you think?”

  “Ohh, very nice suggestion, Lady Hestia. That one’s more down-to-earth.”

  Lilly, Welf, the goddess, and Mikoto take turns criticizing the name I came up with. Nobody pays any attention to me shrinking in my chair.

  “I-I think Wilusine is a wonderful name!” Haruhime rushes in, giving me a compliment, and Mikoto takes notice. Great, older women are trying to comfort me…This is so pitiful it hurts.

  But “Wiene”…That might actually be better now that I think about it.

  “Wiene…? Me…Wiene?”

  “Y-yeah. What do you think?”

  Still attached to my arm, the vouivre girl asks me with that same childlike innocence.

  But I’m sure that look on her face is a smile.

  The vouivre girl’s—No, Wiene’s lips spread into an unmistakably joyful expression that takes everyone’s breath away. Even the goddess is transfixed.

  There’s a pure, almost naive, childlike happiness on the face of a surprisingly beautiful monster right beside me.

  The very foundation of the man-and-monster relationship has just crumbled. This strange girl overcame the wall that should have separated us, and now we’re completely taken with her.

  “Bell, Bell.”

  Wiene lets go of my arm in her moment of happiness and rubs her face against my unarmored chest.

  My arms move on their own to catch her, but I’m speechless.

  Her warmth envelops me, stirring all sorts of emotions in my chest for an instant.

  “…Ahem.”

  Our goddess has been watching us the whole time, faking a cough to get our attention. Then she clears her throat to bring everyone back into the moment.

  “Let’s start off on the right foot—nice to meet you, Wiene! I’m Hestia, Bell’s goddess! You’ll be living with us starting today. Try to get along, okay?”

  She puffs out her chest and gives Wiene an energetic greeting.

  Wiene glances up at the goddess from her perch in my lap as Lady Hestia reaches out to shake hands.

  “…Bell’s…goddess?”

  The words fall out of her mouth as the two make eye contact—and she buries her face back in my chest.

  She leaves the goddess hanging with her hand extended. Lady Hestia lets her arm drop, having learned that gaining Wiene’s trust won’t be that easy. Haruhime and I force a smile.

  “…Anyway, how long are you going to hold her, Mr. Bell? Do you so enjoy a girl’s touch, even if it’s a monster’s?”

  “Huh?”

  “Gah! She’s right, Bell! Let go of her! Ogling is disgraceful, disgraceful!”

  “I-I’m not ogling!”

  And so begins Lilly and the goddess’s tirade.

  I quickly deny all their accusations, but nothing will convince them that it’s Wiene who won’t release me. Welf and Mikoto quietly chuckle at our pointless argument as Haruhime follows the conversation with her eyes.

  But now that the anxious vibe is gone from the living room, I notice how soft Wiene’s body is. There’s nothing I can do to stop the pitiful groan from my throat as I blush furiously.

  Sometime later.

  I’m not sure when, but Wiene must’ve succumbed to exhaustion at some point during my argument with my offended goddess and fallen asleep in my arms.

  Running around in the Dungeon without a friend in the world…I can’t imagine how much stress and anxiety she’s been dealing with. Already in a deep sleep with her arms wrapped around my body, she absolutely will not let go.

  Everyone tried their hand at prying me loose, but Wiene’s incredible strength—a dragon’s strength—kept her locked in place, and she only hugged harder and made me scream in pain.

  With no other alternative, I ended up spending the night with her. Our goddess and Lilly had a few choice things to say, like “I won’t forgive any ‘mistakes,’ got it?” and “Mr. Bell, please don’t forsake your humanity.” I swear their eyes were as cold as ice as they issued warning after warning, though I vigorously nodded my assent to everything they said.

  As I lay down on a living room sofa with Wiene on top of me, Haruhime was nice enough to bring us a thin blanket.

  …But in the end, everyone came in…

  They’ve all gathered in the living room, claiming spots on other sofas or on the floor under the dim magic-stone lamp.

  My goddess was the first one to join us, a blanket in her arms and an expression that said she couldn’t leave us to ourselves. It wasn’t long before Lilly, Mikoto, Haruhime, and even Welf settled in for the night as well.

  Do they not trust me at all…?

  “……”

  Welf is currently sitting against the wall, one knee up for balance. His eyes are closed, his greatsword across his lap.

  It’s the same with Mikoto. She might be lying on a futon with Haruhime, but her shortsword Chizan is within arm’s reach on the floor beside her. Even Lilly has a firm grip on her bow gun.

  I know why they’re armed and who those weapons are for.

  It’s not that they don’t trust me. They don’t trust her…

  Surrounded by a soft chorus of shallow breaths of uneasy sleep in the dim living room, I look down toward the girl atop my chest.

  If it weren’t for the jewel ominously twinkling on her forehead, she could pass for a completely defenseless sleeping beauty.

  What is she, really…?

  I ask myself that while contemplating the vouivre girl—a monster who’s fallen asleep, wrapped in salamander wool, on top of a human.

  It would be a lie if I say that the lines of dried blood on her bluish-white skin, peeking out from under the robe, and her unusual smell aren’t unnerving. Visions of an uncertain future keep popping into my head, too.

  My brain silently works until…my eyelids become too heavy to stay open.

  It’s been a busy day for me as well. I must’ve reached my limit. Sleep can’t wait any longer.

  —In any case, the first thing I want to do tomorrow is take a bath.

  That’s my last thought before slipping into unconsciousness.

  “I want more information about Wiene.”

  The next morning…

  Hestia made a declaration at the dining table during breakfast.

  “We can’t decide what to do from here on out without knowing more about her. Are there any others like her? What’s happening in the Dungeon right now? That’s what I want to know.”

  A drowsy Wiene still refused to let go of Bell, who was the only one unable to eat with the rest of the familia. Meanwhile, Hestia ordered her followers to collect as much information as possible.

  “However, I need to make this clear: No tidbit of information is worth drawing unwanted attention. No one can know�
�Don’t let anyone figure out there’s a monster living with us.”

  The fact that a creature like Wiene existed at all was one thing, but the public would panic if word got out that an untamed monster was in the city. Lilly told everyone in no uncertain terms that Wiene must never be seen or mentioned at any time outside the manor.

  “I’ll do some investigating, too, so please focus on this, starting today.”

  “Guess that means Dungeon crawling is on hold for a while,” Welf commented in response to Hestia’s request.

  “Indeed. Also, Mr. Bell, Miss Mikoto, and Miss Haruhime, please avoid talking to anyone you cannot trust beyond a shadow of a doubt.”

  “““Ah, yes…”””

  Lilly issued a warning to Bell, Haruhime, and Mikoto, who all agreed with a heavy nod.

  It wasn’t that the trio couldn’t keep a secret but more that they were terrible liars. The three of them sank back into their chairs, trying to look as small as possible. Hestia giggled to herself as she watched her followers banter before standing up from her chair.

  “Just be careful, everybody. Well then, let’s get to it.”

  Late-morning sunlight poured onto the streets of Orario.

  The sky overhead was a clear blue as far as the eye could see. Average citizens went about their business, brushing shoulders with adventurers as they traveled along the main streets toward the Dungeon.

  “What now? This ‘important thing’ you want to talk about better not be a new excuse for skipping work.”

  “I-I’ve been working really hard! I’ve turned over a new leaf, Hephaistos, believe me!!”

  They were on the fourth floor of Babel Tower, inside Hephaistos Familia’s branch shop.

  Hestia came to her part-time job at this high-end weapon shop today like always, but she had asked her friend Hephaistos for a word in private.

  It just so happened that the Goddess of the Forge had come to the shop this morning for an inspection, and she agreed to hear the young goddess out.

  “So? What is it? You better not pull me away from an important meeting for some nonsense.”

  The crimson-haired goddess led her counterpart to a consultation room in the back. Separated from the commotion of the sales floor by thick, soundproof walls, Hephaistos was certain they wouldn’t be overheard. She crossed her arms and suspiciously raised an eyebrow at Hestia.

  As this was the first time Hestia had set foot in this room, her head was on a swivel. She immediately went up to a beautiful longsword mounted on the side of a bookshelf and examined her reflection in the blade until her attention was drawn to Hephaistos’s figure over her shoulder.

  “Have you ever…heard of a monster that can speak?”

  “What kind of question is that? Of course I haven’t.”

  “Should’ve figured…”

  Hephaistos looked more annoyed than anything as Hestia’s shoulders sank.

  Hestia’s crimson apron, her work uniform, shifted as the young goddess slowly faced her friend.

  “If, hypothetically, there were a monster that could speak…what would you do?”

  “…More details—now.”

  Seeing the young goddess’s unusual earnestness, Hephaistos narrowed her patchless left eye.

  “A talking…monster…”

  The Blue Pharmacy, situated off a backstreet between Northwest Main and West Main streets in Orario’s seventh district, was also Miach Familia’s home, but the building didn’t get much light. The little sunshine that did make it through the windows fell on three figures in the middle of a conversation: the god of the familia, Miach; the god Takemikazuchi; and Mikoto.

  “This monster really speaks? Meaning it’s fully aware of itself and its surroundings?”

  “Yes…It spent last night in our home.”

  Takemikazuchi had a similar reaction to the news as that of a certain crimson-haired goddess in Babel Tower. Mikoto’s voice was heavy as she explained the situation.

  Mikoto had received permission to consult with any trustworthy deities, like Miach and Takemikazuchi. On the other hand, she was also not to share any information with mortals, no matter how trustworthy.

  Ouka, Chigusa, and the rest of Takemikazuchi Familia had gone into the Dungeon while the members of Miach Familia were busy collecting ingredients to restock the shelves of the pharmacy. Mikoto used this chance to consult the two gods about the vouivre girl’s existence.

  “I thought your behavior last night was a little strange. So that’s what happened…”

  Miach could attest to Hestia Familia’s anxiety after witnessing their behavior the previous night once he had finished house-sitting for the day. Finally connecting the dots, he nodded.

  “Lord Takemikazuchi, Lord Miach, do you know of any other similar incidents?”

  “Can’t say I do. A talking monster…That’s news to me. And shocking, to be honest.”

  Mikoto had never seen Takemikazuchi so perturbed.

  “Yes, even now I have a hard time believing it to be true…However,” Miach said, “the mortal realm’s ‘Unknown’ is so complex that even we can’t predict it. The possibilities are limitless…Perhaps something is also happening in the Dungeon even as we speak.”

  Mikoto sat quietly and listened to the deity’s warning, his aquamarine-blue hair shifting from side to side as he spoke.

  Takemikazuchi observed Mikoto’s reaction from his spot next to her and asked a question of his own.

  “What is your view on the matter, Mikoto? How do you feel about this talking monster?”

  “…I don’t know.”

  She answered with honesty, weakly shaking her head.

  “I understand that Wiene…Lady Wiene is different from other monsters, but…I am unsure how to treat her as of yet.”

  Her lips quivered as she went on to list specifics.

  “I find myself constantly on guard, concerned that she might betray our trust…I stand vigilant, ready to act at a moment’s notice.”

  “……”

  “I cannot relax, no matter how hard I try. I am…afraid of her.”

  Mikoto’s gaze fell to the floor as she struggled to string the words together.

  Takemikazuchi fiddled with the loops of hair framing his face while he listened to her. Beside him, Miach watched Mikoto with an understanding gaze.

  “Well, I’m sure anyone would react the same way…”

  The deity reassured her that this response was only natural.

  Mikoto didn’t have anything to say. She sat in silence, staring at the floor.

  Guild Headquarters, lobby.

  Welf stepped into the spacious chamber of white marble, brushing against many other adventurers who were passing through before venturing into the Dungeon.

  He was perfectly comfortable walking among them with his ears wide open. He’d learned during his time as a struggling young smith that small treasures could be found in the most mundane of conversations. This was nothing new. Due to his leveled-up Status, his hearing had become more sensitive than any lower-class adventurer’s, and he used every bit of this ability to sift through the noise in search of information. It went without saying that he didn’t approach any adventurer or Guild employee with inquiries to speed up the process.

  With a black workman’s jacket over his shoulders and a greatsword strapped to his back, Welf made his way to a corner of the lobby.

  Several Guild employees were posting new information on a public bulletin board as a cluster of adventurers watched.

  “—Oi, did ya hear? Another monster stealing equipment.”

  “I see. In the middle levels this time, too.”

  “Oh yeah, I heard some of the guys in Rivira got a little too worked up an’ beat its ass half to death.”

  He heard every conversation among the adventurers. Scanning the bulletin board, Welf quickly spotted a sheet of paper.

  It was a drawing of a monster holding a sword and wearing armor.

  “…Nah, couldn’t be.”r />
  But the attempt to laugh it off did nothing to ease the tension in his face.

  “Well, well. Hey there, cutie…So how about it, little elf? Pour us a round of booze?”

  “We’ll listen to what’s on your mind…Hee-hee-hee!”

  Long, golden hair flowed out from beneath a hood. A female elf—Lilly disguised using her Cinder Ella skill—ignored the crude laughter of the men. She quickly made her way through an underground bar where the sun didn’t reach.

  Northwest Main Street, Adventurers Way.

  A little distance away from the weapon and armor shops lining the street was a bar in need of a good cleaning. The wooden building itself had an emblem hanging over the front door, signifying it was a familia-owned establishment.

  Familias that ran this type of business provided a venue for average citizens and those who wanted to remain anonymous to post quests and hosted information brokers, people willing to share what they knew for a price. With these transactions constantly taking place, it was also common for customers to exchange information among themselves.

  Several familias like this one operated inside Orario’s city walls.

  Just as dirty as ever…

  Lilly whispered to herself as she reminisced about her days as an outlaw and continued to ignore the catcalls and whistles coming from all around her. Barely standing 120 celch tall, she knew the beauty of her transformed face garnered a lot of attention.

  The bar was dark and shabby. There were so many quests pinned to a bulletin board in the corner that its surface was hidden beneath the mass of paperwork. On the first floor, civilians could access the familia’s services at their leisure, but this underground bar was only accessible from the stairwell located in the back of the building. From the dim magic-stone lamps to the shady characters gathered in the basement, everything about this place was suspicious.

  An animal person missing his front teeth chuckled as he downed an unpleasant-looking beer. One Amazon wore so many rings around her fingers and neck that her tall frame sparkled in the dim light. A masked man was lurking in the back corner. Several customers sat on sofas or around small tables, all conversing in hushed voices.