Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 9

by Fujino Omori

  If the Guild could be called the front, this was the back. People with something to hide frequented these bars rather than the Guild. Reliable or not, information spread through these hubs like wildfire. At the same time, Lilly understood that carelessness in a place like this often resulted in losing every valuable on your person.

  Under no circumstances should Bell ever set foot in a place like this.

  “One Alb Spring Water.”

  Clunk! The barstool clattered as Lilly took a seat and ordered a drink from the human bartender.

  Ice water procured from the sacred peaks of the Alb Mountains—a popular nonalcoholic drink among elves. Lilly took a sip before addressing the bartender.

  “Do you have any information about talking monsters?”

  “…Nope, got nothin’.”

  The bartender didn’t even blink as he accepted the payment and generous tip Lilly placed on the countertop. His message was clear: The information was valuable, and a pretty face wasn’t going to jar it loose without paying full price.

  Lilly had chosen this disguise as insurance. It was her way of ensuring no one would ever know Hestia Familia was seeking out information about talking monsters.

  The bartender kept his eye on the “elf” as he silently wiped down glasses that didn’t need cleaning. Lilly was one breath away from asking if he knew of any customers who might have more information when someone plopped into the seat next to her.

  “I know something about these talking monsters. Not much, but something.”

  This newcomer, a wheat-skinned chienthrope, wore lightweight battle gear and knee-high boots.

  She must have been eavesdropping, because her doglike ears were perked up and a grin was stretched across her face.

  Lilly frowned.

  “Mud Hound Madl.”

  “Oh? You know my nickname? That’s surprising, since people usually forget about me with all the really famous adventurers out there…But yeah, I hate that name. What were the gods thinking, calling me that? Bit cruel, don’t you think…?”

  The girl looked surprised when Lilly mentioned her title and started blabbing away as if the two were friends meeting for drinks. Crossing her lithe legs beneath the counter, she ordered her own drink. “Barkeep, Honey Beer!” Then she whispered her allegiance: “Hermes Familia.”

  “So then, you were saying?”

  “Weeeell, um, Lady Luck hasn’t been kind to me these days…Not too sure I can pay for this beer.”

  With a smile and a wink, the newcomer made a circle with her thumb and forefinger.

  Lilly’s beautiful elvish face twitched. Clicking her tongue, she pulled a small bag of coins out from her robe and forcefully placed it on the counter between them.

  The chienthrope happily wagged her tail and started chattering enthusiastically.

  “Well, like I said, it isn’t much. Stories about people hearing words randomly in the Dungeon have been circulating for a while now. Rumor has it a few adventurers have even heard whole sentences when no one else was nearby, and there was another story going around for a while about a beautiful singing voice deep in the Dungeon…Oh, one more thing. Other people are after that info as well.”

  “……”

  “Everyone laughed off those rumors—everyone but these guys. They were serious. They put up requests for any news at all in bars all over Orario, too, not just here, and they’re willing to pay. A lot.”

  The girl glanced at the bulletin board in the back corner for a moment.

  “And who might these guys be?”

  “About that, I’m stumped…I’d like to know, myself.”

  The newcomer suddenly became a bit more aggressive as she went on to explain that she had posted her own requests for information on this group.

  Squinting with a faint grin on her lips, the chienthrope leaned in to get a better look under Lilly’s hood.

  “New around here…? What’s your affiliation? You seem kinda dirty for an elf.”

  Lilly silently cursed to herself as the dog-person’s face came uncomfortably close, animal nose sniffing the air in front of her face. Her current companion had the same “scent” as she once had.

  There was no doubt in Lilly’s mind that this woman was a thief. Not some disgruntled child like her former self, but the real deal.

  Madl’s work as a deliveryman for her familia, combined with her activities in this darker part of society, granted her access to a great deal of information.

  It was highly likely she was pursuing information about talking monsters as well. Lilly’s search for the same information had gotten her attention, and now Lilly was her top suspect.

  However, Lilly didn’t share Bell and Mikoto’s trust in Hermes Familia. Perhaps the two of them hadn’t lived in Orario long enough to notice, but that familia’s constant stance of neutrality was extremely fishy.

  Hermes Familia could easily turn from friend to foe if it fit their needs. Fifteen years in Orario’s gutter had taught Lilly as much.

  No real information of value…but knowing there are others asking about talking monsters is good enough for now.

  The time had come for her to move on. Without another word, she stood up from her stool.

  “What? Leaving already? But there’s so much I wanted to talk about.”

  Ignoring the cheerful voice behind her, Lilly left the bar.

  However…

  …She’s tailing me.

  She noticed a presence following her through every twist and turn of the backstreets from the moment she stepped out the back door of the bar.

  It was just one person, and Lilly was 99 percent sure it was the same thief. In a worst-case scenario, she didn’t stand a chance against an upper-class adventurer.

  Cinder Ella and items were her only option. Lilly took unusually large strides, walking onto a dimly lit path and extracting from her robe a pouch connected to a string—a Malboro stink bomb.

  She’d used similar tactics many times back when she was living the shadowy life of an outlaw.

  Knowing that this opponent would take some time to deal with made her cringe—although this was nothing compared to being chased by the battle-hardened elf from that insane bar—Lilly dove into the dark alleyway.

  Bright sunlight is shining down from directly overhead.

  There isn’t even a cloud in the sky. The summer sun hanging over Orario makes it almost too hot outside. Warm enough that I roll up my sleeves, anyway.

  Bright sunlight and a clear blue sky—the vouivre girl can’t tear her eyes away.

  With the goddess and everyone else out, it’s up to me and Haruhime to house-sit the manor.

  Having arrived here at night, Wiene hadn’t seen the sun yet. She had been saying the same thing since she noticed where all the light was coming from this morning:

  She wanted to go out.

  “What is…that?”

  We’ve brought her into the courtyard in the middle of our home, Hearthstone Manor.

  Maybe it’s because the Dungeon doesn’t have a sun, but Wiene is fascinated.

  Haruhime turns to the inquisitive girl and walks up to her from behind.

  “We call it…the sun.”

  “The sun…”

  Wiene gazes up at the brilliant sky as she echoes Haruhime with a smile.

  Without any sunlight to speak of, the Dungeon is rather cold. Of course, there are a few exceptions, like in places with fire-breathing monsters and floors with active volcanoes.

  But I’m sure most monsters don’t know what it’s like to feel sunshine on your skin.

  “…It’s warm.”

  Wiene’s eyes light up as she watches the sky and she laughs.

  Her expression is so innocent, and I think her amber eyes are tearing up.

  I get lost in the moment, staring at her profile from behind, when she suddenly turns toward me, tossing her long silver-blue hair.

  “The surface is beautiful.”

  I can’t think of her as a monster
anymore.

  Her naive, innocent smile is as bright as the sun.

  It may be our job to hold down the fort while the others are out, but that actually means Haruhime and I are tasked with looking after Wiene.

  Whatever we do, we can’t let her leave the manor. She knows nothing about the outside world, so we have to keep her entertained in here.

  “Bell…it’s very hot. Is it okay to take this off?”

  “N-no, you mustn’t, Lady Wiene!!”

  “Y-yes, you must put up with it.”

  “Ugh…” she mumbles, pulling at the salamander-wool robe’s collar around her neck like she would give anything to remove it. Haruhime and I panic a little but somehow manage to persuade her. This is a relief, considering Wiene is completely naked underneath.

  I asked for Haruhime’s help to get Wiene cleaned up after the goddess and everyone else left this morning. It was a real struggle because the girl doesn’t completely trust Haruhime yet, but she did manage to wash off a lot of the dried blood and dirt.

  Haruhime also tried to put proper clothes on her, but…that didn’t end well.

  That’s the only thing that she’s outright refused. Maybe she’s scared?

  In any case, Wiene was having none of it, so we at least convinced her to put back on the salamander-wool robe from yesterday.

  Even if you call her a monster, she’s still a girl…I just hope she can let her guard down around Haruhime and the others…

  The robe still provides ample glimpses of her lithe legs and cleavage, so I have to be careful where I look…Not to mention she has no sense of shame whatsoever.

  Haruhime, dressed in the maid outfit she always wears around the manor, and I do our best to keep up, but Wiene pulls us along at her own pace.

  “Bell, what is this?”

  “That’s a magic-stone lamp. They make light like the ones in the Dungeon…”

  “What about that?”

  Wiene doesn’t want to go back inside. Her leg made a complete recovery overnight, and now she’s giddily skipping along out under the sun.

  Since we’re surrounded by four walls in here, I doubt anyone will catch a glimpse of her. For someone like Wiene who has no place she belongs, whether on the surface or in the Dungeon, this is her only safe haven.

  Peering with curiosity into the walkways along the courtyard, Wiene makes new discoveries at every turn. Her cheeks glowing a light pink, she grabs hold of my arm every so often.

  “Lady Wiene, would you like to partake in a meal? You didn’t have anything to eat this morning.”

  “…A meal?”

  “Um, it’s another word for food…Wiene, you haven’t eaten anything since yesterday, right? I’ll eat, too, so how about it?”

  “…Okay.”

  Wiene looks up at me with concern, not completely sure what Haruhime was suggesting. I softly smile at her, and she slowly nods.

  Haruhime retrieves a basket from the passageway, and the three of us take a seat on the grass.

  “…Yum…”

  “D-do you really think so?!”

  “Yes…”

  “That is a rice ball, handmade by Lady Mikoto! Would you like to try this fruit?!”

  Haruhime seems thrilled, her fox ears standing straight up and her tail wagging back and forth almost as if she were presenting her own cooking. Meanwhile, Wiene quietly nibbles on the food in front of her.

  The vouivre glances over at Haruhime’s beaming face.

  I know that bugbears eat the honey cloud fruits on the eighteenth floor—and many monsters go after trap items as well—so it seems reasonable to assume monsters can eat our food, too. If not, we’d have to go to a pantry to get food for her, and Haruhime seems as relieved as I am to discover that isn’t the case.

  She reaches out to pat Wiene on the head while the vouivre girl is busy gobbling down fruit. Wiene dodges her hand with a wiff and pulls away.

  Haruhime’s shoulders droop, and Wiene leans closer to me.

  “Ha-ha-ha…”

  Seems like Wiene is still a bit wary of her.

  But she did let the other girl gently wipe down her body, so I think there’s a little bit of trust between them.

  The next thing to capture Wiene’s attention is Haruhime’s renart fox tail. She’s watching it very closely, mimicking its movements with her body. Haruhime catches on, sweeping her tail side to side and making up a game as they go along.

  You’d almost think they were sisters…

  Haruhime was scared stiff at the sight of her yesterday, but now she’s trying to bond with Wiene.

  Her laudable efforts to accept this girl—a monster—make me so, so happy.

  Then again, perhaps only Haruhime, who survived a great deal of hardship herself, is capable of this kindness.

  “Bell, do you have any poshun?”

  “You mean potions? I have a few in my leg holster back in my room; I can go…”

  “Do you know…it has a good smell? Smells just like…the fruit there.”

  Wiene is talking quite a bit.

  Maybe it’s because of the warm sunlight or just that she was really frightened before, but she’s using more words than yesterday. Smiling and giggling like this, she’s speaking a lot more freely and fluently, or so it seems to me.

  No—it’s not just me.

  Ignoring her earlier reticence, it’s amazing how fast Wiene is picking up words and expressions—acquiring language. As I review our conversations, I’m sure of it.

  But I don’t think she’s learning, exactly…What is it, then?

  She looks like a girl…but she’s a monster.

  I answer her questions with a forced smile, but there are a lot of unsolved mysteries.

  She has a good grasp of grammar and bears a strong resemblance to us. There’s not much difference between her and other people. However, her bluish-white skin and scales clearly indicate she is a monster.

  The red jewel embedded in her forehead sparkles in the sunlight.

  “Bell, Bell.”

  Then, as she giggles and playfully tugs at my arm…

  …she tries to change her grip, sliding her hand across my skin—and the sharp claws on her fingertips carve into my arm.

  “!”

  I have no battle cloth or armor for protection, and my rolled-up sleeves do nothing to protect me as three long streaks appear on my forearm.

  Turning red immediately, the gouges her claws leave behind start leaking drops of blood. Blades of grass beside me turn red.

  “Huh…?”

  “M-Master Bell?!”

  I freeze in place as Wiene stares at her own bloody hand, shock in her eyes. Haruhime screams when she catches a glimpse of my injured arm.

  “I shall bring the first-aid kit!” she yells, jumping to her feet once she sees the bleeding won’t stop and rushing back into the manor.

  “Ah, n-no…Bell, does it hurt?”

  Wiene reaches toward me, amber eyes trembling, before coming to a sudden halt.

  She abruptly pulls back her hand—and the claws that drew blood.

  Moving back and forth between my pained eyes and bleeding arm, Wiene’s gaze then falls onto her own fingers. Her face suddenly contorts.

  “I…no…so sorry, Bell…!”

  A river of tears flows down her cheeks. I can hear shock and sadness in her unsteady voice.

  Then she withdraws her trembling hands and holds them tight against her chest.

  She wants physical contact but can’t touch me.

  She can’t reach out because she’ll hurt me again.

  “Sorry, sorry…!”

  More apologies.

  She’s afraid of her own hand, that it can hurt people so easily. She’s afraid of herself.

  Watching her go through this is too painful.

  “……!”

  I can only watch so many tears roll down her cheeks before my hands move on their own.

  Surprise flashes across her face as my injured right arm reaches ou
t, and my hand clasps the claws covered in my blood.

  Her claws dig into the palm of my hand and open new wounds, but I pay them no heed.

  “It’s all right.”

  I smile at her like I did when we met.

  Paying no attention to the pain, I tighten my grip.

  “—Bell!!”

  Overcome with emotion, Wiene shouts my name and dives into my chest, wrapping her arms around me.

  Burying her face in my neck, hot tears dampen my skin.

  She’s really…just a kid.

  Afraid of being hurt and hurting others, she seeks warmth and kindness like a lost child.

  That’s the only thing I can think of as I listen to the soft whimpers beneath my ear.

  I wrap my blood-free left arm around her slender body and softly run my fingers through her silver-blue hair. Her shoulders quiver, and I swear her eyes are closed with pleasure.

  She presses her nose against my neck like a cat wanting attention.

  Overtaken by a sudden warmth, I gently pat her on the back of the head.

  “—?”

  I gently rub her back until she calms down, and suddenly I feel like we’re being watched.

  Being rather sensitive to this feeling for various reasons, I quickly look toward the source—a single bird sitting on top of the roof.

  An owl…?

  Several questions come to mind as I inspect the vertical patterns in its white feathers.

  Aren’t owls nocturnal? And why would there be an owl in the city in the first place?

  The owl, far removed from the nearest forest, regards me with what I’m positive is a twinkle in its eye.

  It suddenly spreads its wings and takes off before I can get a better look.

  “……”

  The owl disappears into the heavens, leaving me close-mouthed and confused.

  It was just a bird, and yet I can’t shake the feeling I was being watched.

  All this thinking causes me to tighten my grip on Wiene—as I sense another observer right away.

  Twitching in surprise, I look around to see—

  “……Awww.”

  Haruhime is standing nearby, holding a first-aid kit in her arms.

  For some reason, she almost seems jealous at seeing Wiene tucked comfortably in my embrace.

  “……”

  “……”