Travesty

by Carrie Thomas

  “I’m sorry,” I said standing up.

  “I guess that’s it then. I’ll see you around,” he said walking away from me.

  I wanted to give him a hug to take away some of the pain, but knew that wouldn’t help. So I watched in silence as he walked back to his truck. It took him a little longer than usual, his gait shorter and slower. When his truck pulled out of the driveway, I made my way back into the house. Abe had shut off most of the lights and the television. It wasn’t that late, but I guess he’d decided to retire to his room.

  I felt physically drained. Breaking up with someone when you weren’t angry with them took a lot out of you. I couldn’t help but stare at my reflection in the mirror as I brushed my teeth before bed. I looked different, older maybe. My blue eyes seemed darker, almost a midnight blue. My hair was longer and thicker, and my body was that of a grown woman. My hips were wider, my breasts larger. How had I managed to change so much on the outside?

  Abe’s T-shirt barely covered my underwear, but somehow I felt beautiful. I wondered how he saw me in it? Determined, I spit in the sink and wiped my mouth.

  Walking down the hall to his make-shift bedroom, I pushed the door open slowly. He was laying on the air mattress we’d purchased. His distressed jeans hung so low on his hips, if I would’ve tried hard enough, I could’ve seen something private. His eyes were closed and I could see the stress in his creased eyebrow. His music was blaring through his iPod.

  He still hadn’t noticed me, so I knelt down beside him and touched his chest. His eyes fluttered open and he pulled the ear buds out of his ears. “Soph? What’s up?” He looked down at the old T-shirt I was wearing and back to my face. “What are you doing?”

  “I want to be with you.” My fingers moved in circles over his pecs, making them flex.

  Our eyes were in a tug-of-war. We both darted glances at one another’s bodies, then back up. I loved it when he didn’t wear a shirt, and I knew I was affecting him by wearing his old one. I could see it in his eyes.

  “Soph—”

  “I broke up with Rob,” I blurted.

  “Why? When?”

  “Why? Because I’m in love with you. When? Tonight. I wanted to do it earlier, but I figured I could just limit our time together and it would fizzle. Plus, with school and everything . . .” My words fell off because I realized it didn’t matter. None of it did.

  He stared at me for a long while. The silence made me nervous. I’d just admitted my true feelings again, and this time he wasn’t sharing his. I didn’t think I’d be able to handle his rejection. Holding his gaze, I was determined not to let him off the hook. I wanted him. I needed him. That was all I knew.

  “I’m afraid it’s going to be too much for you.” His body remained still but tense, his muscular arms stayed crossed behind his head. He was gauging my reaction by holding his emotions back.

  “Nothing you could give me would ever be too much.” I was not going to let him decide what was best for me. I wanted to do that for myself.

  “Soph, we—this whole situation is messed up. You need to finish school and we need to get away from people who think we’re brother and sister,” he said leaning up on his elbows.

  “I don’t care about that. You’re always saying that. We can still act however you want in public, but I don’t want to fight it anymore. When I’m around you, I’m happy. I know going to parties and ballgames with my friends should be fun to me, but it’s not. I want to stay home with you and watch a movie. I like it when I cook and you clean because it makes me feel like I’m taking care of you.”

  My hand dropped to his stomach and my thumb rubbed along the waistband of his jeans. His breathing sped up and he put a hand over mine, stopping its travels. He held it there as I continued, our gaze heating.

  “I like how you sit on top of the dryer, talking to me while I’m folding our laundry, because you hate doing it and feel guilty not being in the same room while I do it. I want to be out in the shop on the blanket you took down there for me to sit on while I watch you fix whatever machine Cal has you working on.” I took a breath, trying to think of something else to say to convince him. “I want to be able to touch you. I love you, and I want to be with you.” I slid my hand out from underneath his and crawled up next to him.

  He looked up to the ceiling then back to me. “I love you too. I do, more than anything. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to see you with Rob? I couldn’t stand it,” he said caressing my cheek.

  “I know it’s going to be hard, but I don’t understand why we can’t be happy in private.” I knew my voice sounded desperate, because I was. I needed him to hear me. For once, since this whole thing happened, I wanted my outside to match my inside. I was sick of pretending. It was like being held in bondage night and day.

  “Are you sure?” He looked me straight in the eyes.

  “Positive,” I whispered.

  Hand moving behind my neck, he leaned in, his mouth colliding with mine. It was a slow burn starting at my lips, sending little pricks all the way down to my toes. My hands couldn’t touch enough of his skin. I climbed up on top of him and straddled his hips without breaking the kiss. His hands moved from my ribcage and snaked around my backside, holding me down as he moved against me.

  I let out an embarrassing sigh, but he swallowed and deepened the kiss. His hands weren’t fast and fidgety like Rob’s. They slipped over my skin so softly and slowly, it almost tickled.

  I bit his bottom lip and sucked it between my own, causing him to groan and curse.

  He pulled back and took a deep, shaky breath. “Soph, I want to continue this, but I think we need to slow down.”

  “Why?” I questioned, rising up.

  “Because I’m ready to rip that T-shirt off you, and I don’t think you are ready for that yet.”

  I leaned over and pressed a kiss right in the middle of his chest, then moved over a bit and kissed his heart. “You’re sweet, Abe. Always thinking about me and what’s best for me, aren’t you?”

  He took my face in his hands and raised me until we were eye level. We stayed like that for a while before he answered, “Always. I will always think of what’s best for you.”

  I snuggled into him, laying my head on his chest and putting one of my legs between his. “I know we found each other—possibly at the lowest points of our lives—but I can’t ever imagine my life without you.”

  “Me either, sweetheart. I almost can’t describe my feelings for you. Love doesn’t even scratch the surface.” He smiled, pushing my bangs from my eyes.

  At his tender words, my heart grew two times its size. “All right, enough of your boundaries and always knowing what’s right. I’m putting my foot down. You’re sleeping with me every night from now on,” I said getting off him.

  “You’re gonna kill me.” He shook his head.

  “Why?”

  “Seriously?” he asked, rolling off the mattress and bouncing to his feet.

  I waited a beat while he wrapped his arms around me. “What? This old thing?” I smirked pulling up the bottom of his T-shirt.

  “You like to tease me?” He squeezed me tighter.

  “Occasionally.” I giggled.

  “Hmm. I can be a tease sometimes too, you know?”

  “Do I feel a bet coming on here?” I joked.

  “Think of it more like a challenge.” He winked.

  “What are the rules?”

  “Rules? You’re playing with the big boys, baby. There are no rules,” he said as he picked me up. Carrying me to my room, he deposited me on the bed.

  “Hey, where are you going?” I panicked when I realized he was walking away.

  “I’m still a freakin’ dude, woman! I’m taking a cold shower,” he said taking his pants off, showing me a glimpse of his perfect backside before walking out of view.

  I threw myself back on my bed with a playful growl. His laughter filled the hallway and I smiled to myself. He was evil, that’s all there was to it. Thi
s challenge already sucked and it had only just begun.

  I took the longest shower in the history of showers, but it wasn’t cold. No amount of cold water would douse the energy needing to be released before I could climb back into bed with that vixen. Taking care of myself, I stepped out, weak-legged and ready for a night beside the woman of my dreams.

  I walked into her bedroom, my eyes already on the bed. She was curled up on her side. Good. She was so blunt and feisty, it was hard for me to tell her no when she asked me for things. I was weak where she was concerned, and I was actually starting to be okay with that.

  I climbed in behind her, snuggling up as I pulled her into me, kissing her shoulder. I couldn’t believe we were actually going to try this. Being together was risky because I didn’t know how long we would be able to pull it off. I cared about her so deeply, I knew it was going to show, no matter how little people knew us.

  I thought I was dreaming. Small, feather-light kisses peppered my skin from my neck down to my shoulder, and over my chest. From there, I felt them on my stomach. I clenched my abdominal muscles, knowing where this was going. It felt so good. I didn’t want to wake up. Laughter filled my ears and I realized I was awake. I opened my eyes to a beautiful, bedhead, blonde-haired angel. Her smile was contagious.

  “What are you laughing at?”

  “Your face.” She giggled and planted another kiss on my hip.

  “What about it?” My voice was strained. I was talking, but there was not one coherent thought in my brain. All I could do was feel her lips brushing along my skin, wondering where they’d end up next.

  “It was cute. You were smiling in your sleep.”

  “I thought I was dreaming,” I admitted.

  “I know. It made you look like a little boy.”

  “Oh, so we’re to the making fun of each other point, are we?” I flipped her over quickly, so that I was on top of her.

  “I’m a fast mover, what can I say?” Her chuckle was like music to my ears.

  I couldn’t stop looking at her. It was like she had a lock on my heart and she was the only one with the combination. Her beauty had me in some sort of trance. “You are so beautiful,” I said swallowing hard.

  “Abe,” she said in a girly voice, covering her face.

  “Don’t,” I said pulling her hands down. “I mean it. I have never seen anything like you.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Now, I’m going to ruin the moment and tickle you, but after I’m done, I’m going to kiss you and make it all better.”

  “I’m not ticklish.”

  “Oh, I bet I can find a couple of spots.” I grinned and proceeded to prove it to her.

  We didn’t make it out of bed until an hour later. Sophia wanted to go up to the main house to see the baby. Cal and Tonya had welcomed a baby girl named Ava. I had to admit she was really cute. Sophia had a certain connection with her. I didn’t know if it took her mind off everything or what, but she was constantly talking about her and taking pictures of her. I took my time kissing her before we left our house, as we were about to have to go back into lie mode once again.

  Cal opened the door looking worse for wear. “Bad night?” I grinned.

  “You have no idea.”

  We walked in and Sophia went straight for Ava, who was being fed by Tonya on the couch. “Do you mind?” she asked.

  “Sure, babe,” Tonya answered, handing the baby over.

  “Abe and I can watch her for a little while. Why don’t you guys go take a cat-nap?”

  “You don’t have to ask me twice,” Cal answered, walking back to his bedroom.

  “Are you two sure?” Tonya looked hesitant.

  “Absolutely. Right, Abe?” Soph asked, looking at me.

  “Sure, she’s just gonna sleep anyway.” I shrugged, not realizing my mistake until I looked at Tonya’s glazed-over eyes.

  “If all she did was sleep, I wouldn’t look this shitty,” she said pointing to herself.

  Sophia was pretending to play with Ava as she fed her, but I didn’t miss the grin she had on her face. I back tracked. “You’re right, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that she’s feeding and after that, she’ll be tired,” I said shrugging, trying to save face.

  “There you go, hun. I knew you were a smart boy,” Tonya said patting my scruffy cheek.

  “Yes, ma’am,” I joked. “We got this. Well, Soph’s got this, and I’ll back her up.”

  “Come get me if you need me. Thanks, guys,” she said stumbling to her room.

  I watched Sophia carefully as she concentrated on Ava. She ran her hand over the baby’s face, just staring at her. How whipped was I that it made me smile just watching her be herself?

  “She’s so beautiful, isn’t she?” Sophia gushed.

  “So is the girl holding her.”

  “Abe,” she whispered, looking back toward the hallway.

  “What? They didn’t hear me. They’re already asleep.”

  “You don’t know that.” She smiled.

  “Fine, I’ll be good. Do you want something to drink?” I asked in an attempt to busy myself.

  “Sure, water is fine.”

  I had no idea how Sophia knew what to do to keep Ava occupied. She kept telling me how important it was that she keep her awake. Once I thought about that, it made sense, but I didn’t know how she instinctively knew to do it. She was just so natural with her. I knew that we were young and it was way too early to even be contemplating the future, but I could already picture her as a mom. I swallowed, holding back my thoughts. We weren’t anywhere near that kind of future, let alone present.

  I was a bit awkward holding Ava and feeding her. Forget changing her, Soph knew I wasn’t doing that. I jumped in and played with her, even though I wasn’t sure what I was doing, but she’d smiled a few times, so I guess I’d done something right.

  Three hours later, Cal and Tonya resurfaced, looking way more rested than they had when we first arrived. “Thanks, guys. I feel so much better,” Tonya said taking a seat on the other end of the sofa.

  “No problem. We tried to keep her awake, she dozed off for about thirty minutes, but she seems good now.” Sophia handed Ava over to Tonya.

  We made our exit shortly thereafter. I could tell Sophia was getting hungry. She always got hangry without food. She claimed she didn’t, but I’d had enough time with her to realize when she got quiet or short with me, most of the time it had to do with food or sleep—God forbid she was ever both. I smiled to myself, thinking about the memories we’d already made in our time together.

  “What are you smiling at?” she asked, hopping up into my truck.

  “I just thought about something funny.” I shrugged.

  “What was it?”

  “Are you hungry?”

  “Hello? We haven’t eaten in four hours. Of course I’m hungry.” She rolled her eyes.

  I chuckled. “Thanks for proving my point, babe.”

  “What point?”

  “That you get crabby when you’re hungry.” I grabbed her hand, brought it to my lips and placed a soft kiss on the back of it.

  “I do not get crabby—yeah, I guess I do. I’m sorry,” she said laughing.

  “Hmm, three outta three ain’t bad.”

  “Three outta three?”

  “Beautiful? Check. Intelligent? Check. Moody?” I glanced at her with a raised eyebrow. “Check.”

  “I’ll show you moody,” she shot back.

  “I’m cool. I like you feisty.”

  She giggled again and shook her head. I loved how easy it was with her. It shouldn’t be, but there it was. We’d rescued each other that fateful night, and it felt good . . . so damn good.

  With the last semester nearly wrapped up, my excitement for summer grew each day. I couldn’t wait to spend all of my time with Abe on the ranch. He’d promised me camping under the stars, horseback riding, and taking the ATV’s out on the trails. Tonya was excited as well because I’d offe
red to help her with baby Ava.

  I couldn’t believe school was almost over. I would finally be a senior. Actually, with all the classes I’d taken the past semester, I would only have to do one more semester before I was able to graduate, but I’d decided to go ahead and finish the year out with Sam and Ty.

  “Hey, Sam’s staying over tonight,” I told Abe on the night before our last day of school.

  “Okay, do you want me to get take-out?”

  “Nah, we’ll pick something up. I was only telling you so you’d know you couldn’t sleep with me tonight.” I winked.

  “I bet it wouldn’t take too much to convince her to take the couch.” He smiled.

  “Actually, she wouldn’t need any convincing, but that’s gonna be a hell no from me.”

  He chuckled, wrapping me up in a huge hug. “Did I ever tell you how cute you are when you’re jealous?”

  “You know? I feel like I’m missing out on something, seeing how you like it so much. Maybe I’ll have to test it out on you.” I wiggled my eyebrows.

  “Did I make that sound important? It’s no big deal.” He shrugged.

  I laughed and was about to tickle him, but Sam knocked on the door.

  He groaned. “Now I have to go a whole night without touching you. Don’t you see enough of her at school?” He squeezed me one last time.

  “Oh, quit being a baby. It’s our last day of school. You have to be understanding about something that big,” I joked.

  “Fine, but we’re meeting in my room for a minute after she falls asleep.” He winked going to the door.

  I giggled as he opened the door for Sam. “Damn boy, are you tryin’ to kill me?” Sam whistled.

  “Sam, it’s always nice to see you too. Come on in.” Abe chuckled.

  “Quit flirting and come in here,” I yelled from the kitchen.

  “Fine. It’s not like I wanna marry him. I just want one time, Soph. I think if I could get him out of my system, I could get over it.” She shrugged.