50 Ways to Hex Your Lover

by Linda Wisdom

  “Ask the lady to dance.”

  Flavius scanned the bar and smiled at a sultry brunette. “Good idea. I feel the need of some dancing myself.”

  Nick made a straight line for Jazz. He noticed her look of surprise that shifted to anger when she saw Flavius was now very neutral. At the moment he wasn’t bothering with her face, but with what else he could see above the tabletop. All of it good, very good. If he weren’t careful drool would be dripping down his fangs.

  “Would you like to dance?”

  She silently rose to her feet, giving him a full view of the whole package.

  Okay, now drool was dripping. Jazz, the innocent witch of this afternoon, was now Queen of the Night. Visions of peeling that bustier off and pulling her hair out of that tight knot assaulted his brain. Correction, ripping that bustier off because peeling it off would take too much time.

  Perfume that prompted thoughts of Jazz’s bare skin and a large bed wafted past him as she walked toward the dance floor. Nick was next to her in a flash, his arms around her body as they moved to music more suited for sex than dancing. He almost lost it when his hands encountered bare skin under the micro mini.

  “Fancy seeing you here,” he murmured in her ear rotating his hips against hers in a move that was similar to what they had been doing that afternoon. It wouldn’t have taken much rearranging of clothing for that to happen here and now. And it wouldn’t be the first time that style of dance was done here.

  “Yes,” she tilted her head back, “especially seeing you with Flavius. Not his usual place, is it?”

  “He wanted a change from the usual clubs.”

  “Yes, I’m sure this is very different than the elegant places he frequents. He used to be good at puzzles. What did he think the riddle meant?”

  He kept his arms around her so she couldn’t move away. “I haven’t told him.”

  She kept her eyes centered on his face. “Yet.”

  He loosened his grip enough to run his hands down her arms and lace his fingers through hers which only brought their bodies even closer together. “We can talk about it.”

  “Or not.”

  Damn stubborn witch.

  Jazz wanted to hate him. She really did. Except it wasn’t easy when Nick’s body rubbing up against her brought other emotions to the surface that raced even hotter and wilder than her anger ever ran.

  His nostrils flared. She knew he smelled her arousal, just as she felt his cock heavy and erect against her. She felt herself moisten and soften, her skin warm under his touch. There were times she wondered if she shouldn’t look into vampire aversion therapy. Although she doubted it would help where Nick was concerned.

  “I don’t want to fight with you, Jazz,” Nick murmured in her ear.

  “I can tell.” Her breath quickened as his hips brushed against hers.

  “Wanna go somewhere quiet and make out?” She could feel his smile against her temple.

  Jazz had always sensed Nick’s emotions when they were together, but tonight their mutual senses seemed somehow headier, more intimate than usual. She knew the sex they shared on the rooftop had been more powerful than it ever had been before. She wondered if that had something to do with it since the sex between them had always been intense, but today had gone beyond that.

  Before she knew it, they were out a side door. The heavy iron door barely swung shut before Nick had Jazz backed up against the building and his mouth slammed against hers.

  Whoa baby! She should have remembered that there were times Nick could generate heat and this was one of them in spades. Jazz felt like she was ready to go up in flames as he kissed her with the intensity of a man with hundreds of years of experience.

  She only took a second to be thankful his drink of choice in there hadn’t included a blood chaser. No matter how much she wanted to devour him, she would have insisted on a good dose of Listerine first if that had been the case. Instead, she angled a leg past the folds of his coat and hooked it up against his hip. He grabbed hold of her thigh and kept it pressed up against him.

  Stretch with Nick. Have fun with your health.

  Jazz felt her sexual beast rise up and roar big time. Their first time on the roof had been fast because it had been so long since they had been together. The second time was slow and just as powerful for that just because moment. Tonight was different. Tonight was pure raw lust.

  Nick growled as he tore away her thong and delved between her labia, finding her hot and wet. He slowly pushed his fingers inside, finding all the spots that had her rotating against his hand. He slowly withdrew them and brought them up to his mouth. Jazz couldn’t look away as Nick slowly licked each finger clean. She rocked against his hand as he cupped her mound, his fingers invading her again.

  “This is us, Jazz,” he murmured. “But it’s more than sex. It’s our minds and bodies as a perfect match. No one can give you what I can give you. And no one can offer me what you do.”

  When he leaned in to kiss her again, she tasted herself on his lips.

  She ran a hand over the front of his leather pants, finding the bulge that pulsed under her flattened palm. She pressed inward, rubbing in slow circles.

  She saw the fiery glow in his eyes pierce the darkness as his fangs dropped.

  The Lady Temptation suggested she lean forward and bite his neck until she broke the skin. Vampires believed the best sex merged with biting and taking blood.

  “You’re right in one way, Nick,” she said softly. “We are a pair. Except we can’t share blood without you ending up with a major case of heartburn and the only red stuff I drink are Cosmopolitans.” She felt strung so tight with desire she was ready to snap. “You came to me because of Clive Reeves. Not because of us.”

  It almost killed her then, but she managed to walk away without looking back.

  Jazz carefully handled her triple mocha espresso as she exited her car. Considering her sleepless night she only hoped the triple shot would be enough.

  “You never told me what went on between you and Nicky last night,” Irma said.

  “No, I didn’t.” She sipped her espresso, savoring the hot rush of mega-caffeine.

  “I couldn’t see much from the car, but it looked like something nasty was happening.” The ghost peered at her. “I guess you didn’t realize the two of you came out along the side of the building where you could be seen from the parking lot.”

  Jazz could feel heat rise in her cheeks. She thought she had quit blushing five hundred years ago. Obviously, that wasn’t the case.

  “I won’t be long. Afterwards, we can drive up the coast.”

  “Now I know something happened.” Irma never gave up easily. Jazz was about to pay for silence quite literally now. “You never do something nice for me unless it does you some good too.”

  Guilt was something Jazz could easily ignore.

  “Dweezil’s paying me a nice sum to find the curse and eliminate it. I’ll buy a nice safe space heater for the carriage house.”

  Irma considered the bribe. “I want a new dress.”

  “You died in that dress. I can’t change what you died in.”

  “I didn’t die in this dress. I was buried in it. Harold must have bought it for the funeral, so his clients would think he was a generous man.” She sniffed. “I want something hip. I want to look more up to date.”

  Jazz suddenly visualized spandex on Irma’s plump figure and she wasn’t thinking a heavy-duty girdle either. It was enough to inspire nightmares.

  “I’ll see what I can do,” she promised, wondering if there was a spell available that could provide a ghost with a new wardrobe and if finding one would involve, gagging here, a return trip to The Library. Still, Irma focusing on her clothing meant she didn’t think about the dwarves working in the garage. This could turn into a win-win situation.

  At first sight, Jazz thought that Dweezil was back in business, but then she realized that the dwarves were washing and detailing the limousines and town cars more as bu
sy work than getting them ready for clients.

  “About time you got here,” Dweezil greeted her when she stepped inside the entrance door. He glared at the venti grande Starbucks cup she carried in one hand. “You stopped for coffee? We have coffee here.”

  “Which is why I stopped for coffee first. I wanted coffee that’s actually drinkable. Yours could strip paint.”

  “It never bothers me,” he mumbled, going into his office and closing the door. The loud snick of a lock echoed in the room.

  “Hi, Jazz,” Mindy greeted her with a sunny smile and a shared look of commiseration. Instead of sitting behind the counter, she sat at a small square table set up near a window. A stack of papers was scattered across the surface.

  “How bad has he been since the police were here that day?” Jazz asked.

  Mindy picked up a receipt, studied it, and then chose the appropriate pile. Her long fingers topped with shimmering pink-polished nails shone in the sunlight. “The usual.”

  Jazz sipped her espresso and walked around the reception area. She gestured to banker’s boxes set against one wall. “All of D’s records?”

  Mindy nodded. “The police made such a mess of them it will take me months to get them back into order.” She placed an invoice in another pile.

  “How is business? Did D lose any clients, or are they coming back?”

  “Calls were slow at first,” Mindy replied. “Then it seemed everyone learned he was open again and they’ve been calling in more. But it’s not near what it was before and we’ve been having problems at the bank too.”

  “Here.” Dweezil walked out with a manila envelope that he thrust at Jazz. She quickly moved back before his wandering fingers made contact with her breast. Dweezil tended to cop a feel any time he got a chance even if it meant he’d end up with singed fingers. Literally.

  She made a show of checking the contents and amount. “Okay, I’ll check the garage first then I’ll come back in here.”

  “Don’t let them know what you’re doing,” he warned. “If those dwarves think there’s a curse on me, they’ll take off and never come back. Who knows, they might even sue me claiming I put them in danger when I’m the one whose life is threatened.”

  “You could be right, D. This could be all about you.” She cocked an eyebrow. “I’ll be back after I go through the garage.”

  “Shouldn’t I come with you?” He asked, clearly hoping she’d refuse. He sighed with relief when she assured him she worked better on her own.

  Jazz stopped long enough to drop the envelope in the T-Bird. “Don’t even think about a shopping spree,” she told Irma.

  “Ha ha, the last time I was in J.C. Penney was 1956 and I bought an ironing board for myself and some long underwear for Harold,” the ghost grumbled. “Besides, if you’re taking me shopping I’d rather go to Nordstrom or even check out the shops on that Rodeo Drive.”

  Jazz walked on to the garage. Since she had been in there other times, the dwarves didn’t think it was odd for her to greet them and start a conversation. With casual dialogue she was able to learn if any new clients had been around—none—and if any cars had been out for repairs the dwarves weren’t able to handle themselves. Again, none were noted.

  She kept her senses wide open as she walked through the garage, occasionally stopping to touch a tool, finger a piece of equipment, or even place her hand on one of the vehicles. She took her time, and almost two hours later, she left the garage and headed for the office.

  “Well?” Dweezil practically pounced on her when she walked inside.

  “There is nothing out there you need to worry about, although it wouldn’t hurt for you to update some of the equipment and tools they use,” she pointed out. “And the restrooms are disgusting. Stock up on some cleaning supplies, will you?”

  “I didn’t pay you a shitload of money for you to tell me what my business needs,” he grumbled. “Just find and get rid of what’s trying to ruin me.”

  He slumped in despair. “I figured if anyone did anything it would be one of them. I think they’ve been taking booze out of the cars or watering it down.”

  “No way could they water down the liquor and the clients not notice.” Jazz roamed the small reception area. Mindy looked up once and then returned to her task. Jazz studied her for a moment, noticing the sun lighting up Mindy’s golden-blonde hair that was pulled back with a mint-green scarf that matched her silky cotton t-shirt tucked into darker green pants. A silver ring with an odd looking stone winked a kaleidoscope of color on her right-hand ring finger. Today, there was no denying the slight points on her ears. When she looked up, a swirl of ethereal color showed in her eyes. Clearly, Mindy had decided it was past time to stop hiding her heritage. Considering what came into this place, showing off her Elven side made her more of an asset than a liability.

  “Did you purchase any new equipment in the past couple of months?” Jazz asked, glancing at the flat panel computer monitor on the counter.

  “We updated the computers a year ago. The police took them, but they were returned with the files.” Mindy was the one to reply.

  Keeping her senses wide open, Jazz knew there was something wrong. But at the moment, she couldn’t put her finger on it.

  The sense increased when she passed by Dweezil’s office. She turned around and stepped inside.

  Oh yes. Someone had laid down a curse on him and it was a doozey. All she had to do was find out just where.

  She remained silent on it for now. She didn’t want Dweezil adding his own crazy vibes to the mix.

  Something was wrong. There was something here that truly didn’t belong.

  Jazz trailed her fingers across the top of Dweezil’s desk, bypassing pens and a small clock fashioned in the shape of a woman’s breast. She wrinkled her nose at the latter.

  She sensed the negative energy was nearby—a strong beacon for trouble.

  Jazz turned around and faced the shelves housing Dweezil’s beloved erotica collection. She hated looking at the pieces, but she was positive what she was looking for was hidden within the assortment of jade penises surrounding a silver dildo.

  She walked slowly towards the case and studied each piece.

  “Hide in plain sight,” she whispered, picking the crystal dildo up by the corners of the small velvet cloth it sat on. She was certain it had been deliberately placed to one side as an afterthought so it wouldn’t be easily noticed.

  She carefully carried it over to the desk and set it down. “A new acquisition?”

  “Yeah, pretty, huh?” He stood in the doorway beaming with pride at his latest treasure.

  “Not exactly the description I’d use. Where did you find it?” Jazz bent over, peering closely into the crystal until she found what she was looking for.

  “eBay. I heard that some caliph in Ancient Turkey had these crystal dildos made for his harem favorites. Supposed to be shaped just like his cock. I had to pay a lot for it, but it was worth it. Got it about a month ago.”

  “I guess you can find anything you want there. I didn’t see this piece the last time I was in here.” She continued examining the tiny dark speck that barely showed within the clear crystal. She doubted the flaw had been in the crystal when the dildo was first fashioned.

  “Didn’t unpack it until a few days ago. Before that it was in the storeroom.” Dweezil paused. “Is that the problem?”

  Jazz continued to stare at the tiny black speck that seemed to pulsate in tune with her heartbeat.

  “Someone arranged for you to buy this, because there is definitely a curse embedded in the crystal. I would say it’s the kind that invites trouble to your doorstep. And you’ve sure had your share of trouble lately.”

  “I got a business to run here. I don’t need any fuckin’ trouble,” Dweezil growled. “Just get the curse out of it.”

  She straightened up, already anticipating trouble. “I can’t just take the curse out of the crystal, D, like you would take a splinter out of a finger. The
only way it can be properly eliminated is for the crystal to be destroyed.”

  “Destroyed? You mean break it? It’s a fuckin’ antique! There were three made and this is the only one left! It’s not like I can go down to The Love Den and buy another one there.” He paced the office. “You just have to take the curse out. That’s your job.”

  She made sure her hands were still shielded as she carefully moved her palms over the crystal. The last thing she wanted to do was actually touch it, even with her hands shielded. Major eeuuww factor there.

  “If you want the trouble to be gone, the crystal has to go too. Where’s a hammer?” She looked around.

  Dweezil held up his hands. “You can’t break it!”

  Mindy wandered in and stood in the doorway. “It’s really expensive, Jazz.”

  “Take your pick, Dweezil. Disgusting dildo in a million pieces or even more trouble coming to your door?” she asked. “Next time around, the cops might close you down permanently.”

  Dweezil stared at the crystal. Greed warred with lust for his treasure. He dropped into a chair and covered his face with his hands.

  Jazz heaved a sigh. “Fine.” She went back into the storeroom and rummaged around until she came out with a hammer.

  Mindy shifted uneasily in her spot.

  “Is that a good idea?” she asked. “I mean, couldn’t breaking it make things worse?”

  “Breaking it releases the negative energy, yes,” Jazz replied, laying the hammer down by the crystal. “But I’m going to bless the hammer first to diffuse the negative energy.”

  “I can’t watch,” Dweezil moaned, keeping his hands over his eyes, while Mindy watched with bright-eyed fascination.

  “Light overcomes dark. Take away what lies beneath, because I say so, damn it!” Jazz murmured, turning her head just as she brought the hammer down hard enough to break the crystal. Instead of shattering, the crystal broke into chunks and a whoosh of air smelling like rotten eggs escaped.

  The moment the smell dissipated in the air a booming sound shook the building hard enough that the windows shattered and a security alarm sent out its piercing sound.