Tanked: TANKED

by Cheri Lewis

  “Thank you, I don’t think I want to leave the house today.”

  “Well she said they were going to go by after church, pick something up on the way for lunch and bring it here to check on you.”

  I let out a long sigh, too tired to be upset with my mother and happy the coffee was finally done making its percolating noises. I impatiently wait for the last few drops to come down when I turn and face Jessie. “I wouldn’t expect any different.”

  He hands me the creamer out of the fridge and I make my coffee. I grab the bottle of ibuprofen off the counter then go to my brown recliner and relax into it. I take my headache medicine and chase it with hazelnut flavored coffee. Prima jumps into my lap and curls into a little ball. I pet her lightly and close my eyes, willing my headache to go away.

  I was startled awake when Jessie shakes my arms whispering very low but excitedly. At first fear pulses through and me then his words finally register into my brain. “Sunshine, I swear to you, right now Thor is at our front door.”

  “Thor?”

  He stands and throws his arms out in exasperation, “Thor. Thor, you know the big guy with the big hammer? Thor.”

  I notice my headache is almost completely gone. I push the leg part down to get out of the recliner and stand. “Why is he at our door?”

  “He said Tank sent him. He’s the camera guy.”

  “Oh. I guess I’d better get dressed then.” I go to my room and grab jeans and a lime green tank top then quickly go to the bathroom and pull my hair up into a ponytail. When I leave the bedroom, there stood a huge man with blonde hair hanging down to his shoulders. It causes me to pause and drink the sight of him in. His polo shirt fits everywhere but his chest and his arms. They look like they could rip at any moment. I think he had the biggest arms I’ve ever seen in my life.

  Jessie is fluttering around the house like a hummingbird on crack; I bet he zooms by the living room door three times before I make it down the hallway. I smile at the stranger and stick out my hand, “I’m McKinsey, thanks for coming on such short notice.”

  He nods then briefly shakes my hand. I freeze when he begins speaking as his accent is stunning. “Alexander. I’m going to have a look around and figure out the best angles for the cameras. I’ll be back in when I’m done and let you know where we put them. Did Tank say if he wanted any inside?”

  I shake my head and shrug. I’m not sure when Jessie came to stand beside me. It must have been sometime during the process of noticing how well his cargo pants fit. The whole package was gorgeous, even watching him walk away was magnificent. Jessie bumps my arm. “He doesn’t have much of a personality but I think I could overlook that on a daily basis.”

  I nod in agreement very slowly. “Oh boy, I could too.”

  Jessie and I smile a huge smile and then his turns mischievous as he says, “Let’s get the lawn chairs and watch him work.” We giggle, grab a drink and go out into the backyard where Jessie pulls two folding lawn chairs out of the storage room attached to the back of the house. We set them up near what we call the fire pit which is actually where my granny used to burn her trash every day. She only threw away what wouldn’t burn. I’d never understood why she did that, she paid for garbage pickup as it was mandatory to have it, so why not use it? But right now I’m thankful to have it; we don’t look near as desperate as if we were sitting outside in an empty yard watching him walk around the house taking measurements. Now we’re sitting outside next to a fire pit in the heat of August watching him walk around doing his thing. Nope, totally not desperate.

  “What was his name?” Jessie asks.

  “Alexander.”

  We watch in silence while he and another man continue to walk around the perimeter of my home. They come in and out of the back door several times pointing in different directions and seem to be in deep discussion.

  I look over at Jessie when movement catches my eye and laugh. He looks like he is practicing karate trying to keep a gnat away from his face; he makes a face at me and explodes in laughter, “I freaking hate gnats!”

  I make kissing sounds at him then say, “If you weren’t so sweet they would leave you alone.”

  “What’s that make you, ‘cause they don’t seem to be bothering you.”

  I giggle again when I pull a clip-on bug repellant out of the cup holder that had been left in my chair. “Smart.”

  He laughs too and then takes a swig of sweet tea. When we both look back toward the house I become instantly embarrassed because both men are looking at us. Jessie asks,” I thought Tank was going to be here supervising?”

  “Yeah, me too, but do you really think he needs supervising?”

  “Oh yeah, I could totally supervise him.”

  I roll my eyes then look back to them. I frown when I notice all the mildew on the side of the house and realize it wouldn’t be long before we would need to pressure wash it again, Vinyl siding is pretty but it sure is a lot to maintain especially to someone who doesn’t like to clean. Alexander walks around to the front of the house and his helper starts walking toward our direction. I smile at the approaching man, putting my hand over the top of my eyes to help block the sun. I have to do a triple take at the man standing in front of me. The sides and back of his hair are cut short. The top still has some length to it. Aviator glasses disguise his eyes but they aren’t enough to disguise the long scar that runs down the right side of his clean shaven face. His clothes fit nicely on his medium frame body. “Wow I almost didn’t recognize—”

  “Woozers!” Jessie interrupts me when he realizes it is Tank standing in front of us. “Talking about extreme make over.”

  He rubs his beardless chin and dryly says, “It needed to be cut.”

  I smile at him. “It’s a good change.” I change the subject before Jessie can offer his two cents. “How long do you think he will be? My parents are going to be here a little after noon and I really want you all to be out of here if at all possible. They don’t need to know anything about what’s going on.”

  He looks down at his watch and says, “We should be able to be done by then and if we aren’t I can finish up the little stuff. Besides I think his wife is planning on picking him up around twelve.”

  “I can’t wait to see the woman who landed that man.” Jessie exclaims.

  I have to admit I’m a bit curious too. Tank had started talking again and I had missed part of it, “—around the house and on the inside we’re going to put a camera facing both the front and back door. You won’t be able to see the cameras but I’ll show them to you before I leave.”

  I’ll have to remember to make sure I’m dressed before I run through the house in my bra trying to get ready. I gave him a small grin, “Okay sounds like a plan, thanks.”

  He looks down at the grass and then motions with his hand. “No problem, I need to get back and help him.”

  “Okay.”

  Jessie and I sit silently and relax while we watch the men work as they drill holes and climb up and down the ladder at least sixty times. Goodness, just watching them makes me tired. The sun feels great today; at least it isn’t a humid heat. I lean my head back on the side of the chair and close my eyes. When I open them again Tank is standing in front of me, Oh my gosh, I hope I wasn’t snoring with my mouth open. I sit up and stretch, glancing over at Jessie, to find he is gone and his chair is vacant. I can’t believe he left me out here. “Sorry I guess I dozed off. Where’s Jessie?”

  “He volunteered to learn how to switch on your alarm system and how to view your monitoring system.”

  I bet he did. Wait a minute alarm system? “Alarm system!? What alarm system? I can’t afford an alarm system!”

  His voice is soft but sounds a bit strained, “I had an extra one. I’ll monitor it while this is going on, after it’s over if you want it removed I’ll take it out but a woman can’t have enough protection especially if she’s living alone.” What an incredibly sweet thing to say I’m speechless, then I remember what happened t
o his wife and child and my heart fills with sadness for him. If I have any thought about arguing about the price of having it installed it disappears. “It’s almost noon and he’s about to leave, so I need to show you where the cameras are hidden so I can disappear as well.”

  He puts his hand out to help me up and I accept it, we walk toward the house and Tank points at the corners of the back of the house. “Do you see those little while boxes on the top up there?”

  “Yes, are those the cameras?”

  “Yes.”

  “They don’t look anything like you see in the movies or stores.”

  “They’re made to look like a part of your house. You know, like architectural details.”

  “Oh, I guess that means whoever it is won’t know we have cameras up now so that’s good.”

  He gives me a slight smile and I realize that when he smiles he never fully smiles, he only smirks a little with the left side of his mouth. It is kind of sexy. We walk in through the back door and I can’t help but smile when Jessie turns around and points and mouths, “Oh my gosh” at his superhero showing him how to work my alarm. I put my hand over my mouth to keep from bursting out with laughter when that superhero turns and eyes Jessie for a long moment like he has lost his mind. Jessie smiles brilliantly at Alexander and shrugs. There is no telling what that man thinks of Jessie.

  I look at Tank then my eyes follow to where he is pointing which is at a picture of my parents. “You hid a camera in my parent’s picture?”

  “No, look beside it.” I walk to the sofa table that is pushed against the wall and study everything.

  “I don’t see anything different.”

  He walks up beside me, picks up my iPod docking station and points to a little place in the plastic that lit up to tell you it was charging or connected, I don’t remember which one it was, but now it’s neither as I guess now it’s a camera. I look up in surprise, “That’s a camera?”

  “Yes, it has full view of the back door.” He set the docking station back down and says, “Follow me.” I follow him into the foyer and he says, “It’s not really original but there is a camera right here in your plant.”

  “I have a plant?”

  “You do now.” I study the large potted plant with the large green leaves; I reach out and stroke a leaf. “Don’t worry, it’s fake.” He assures me.

  I smile at him as I say, “That’s good because you just saved its life.”

  His face falls slightly and he looks down at the plant. “The plant’s life has been saved twice then.” I study him in confusion but something tells me to keep my mouth shut and not ask questions.

  The Thor lookalike walks around the corner with Jessie hot on his heels “Sunshine, I’m an expert now. It’s not hard, I’ll show you.”

  I nod at my best friend then look up at the man towering beside me “These are good cameras, and you have a decent alarm system now monitoring your home. It’s wireless so nobody can cut the phone line to cut the service.” I swallow hard at the thought of somebody trying to cut the phone line to keep me from calling 9-1-1. “Tank can answer any questions you have about the system if Jerry doesn’t remember.” Jerry, who’s Jerry?

  The look on Jessie’s face is priceless then it dawns on me he means Jessie and it totally helps lighten my scared mood. Jessie immediately corrects his mistake. “It’s Jessie, and how rude was that.”

  I swore I see a flash of a smile cross the large man’s face but I get the feeling he doesn’t joke much. His phone rings and this time there is no denying what’s on his face. It instantly goes soft and when he answers, “Hey, Tiger.” I don’t know how but I could tell in those two words, whoever is on the other end of that phone is his entire life and right now I would give anything in my life to be “Tiger.”

  He nods at Tank. “My ride’s here. We good?”

  “We’re good,” Tank replies.

  We all watch as he walks out the front door without saying a single word. After the door shut Jessie sighs, “How hot is that, to be called Tiger?”

  Then we both look at Tank in surprise when he informs us, “He’s got six kids.”

  Jessie shakes his head. “Oooo, that’s a deal breaker.”

  “Like you ever had a chance.” I smile a snarky smile at him.

  All three of us look at the front door when the door bell sounds. I pull my phone quickly out of my pocket and it is 12:42. Crap it’s my parents. “It’s my parents! You can’t be here, they can’t know!” I panic.

  Tank smiles his half grin and pats my shoulder. “It’s alright, I’m just a friend who stopped by and I’m about to leave.”

  If it were only that easy. He doesn’t know my mother. Jessie already has the front door open. My mother has her mouth open to greet him but stops and eyes Tank. She then hugs Jessie quickly, walks the few steps to where Tank and I are standing and says, “McKinsey, who was that man just leaving?” Her eyes never look at me, they are locked onto Tank.

  Tank speaks up for me, “He delivered this plant.” He then points to the leafy potted plant that now held my camera.

  Ahhh great thinking! She looks at the plant, and then briefly looks at me before locking her eyes on Tank again. “Are you feeling any better, dear?”

  I didn’t even bother to answer her because her real question is, “Who is this man and will he give your father and I grandchildren?”

  My mother finally looks at me when I speak her name, “Mom, this is Tank. He just stopped by for a second but he’s about to leave.”

  My dad is talking to Jessie but I’m too busy monitoring what my mother is saying she finally looks at me and says, “Oh he should stay for lunch, we have plenty. We stopped by KFC and got your favorite grilled chicken and your daddy insisted we stop by the Krispy Kreme. He said it was for you but we both know he can’t drive by the hot and ready sign if it’s lit. Besides your little friend looks like he could use a good hot meal fatten em’ up a bit.” She turns back to Tank and beams. I on the other hand want to crawl away and hide.

  Tank doesn’t seem bothered by my mother’s comment. “Thank you for the offer but I really must be going.” My dad and Tank nod at each other which is an equivalent of a manly hello and then Tank walks out the front door. I wait until Jessie shuts the door behind him.

  I let out a whiney groan, “Mom! Seriously, fatten him up a bit? Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is? You don’t tell a grown man especially one you don’t know you’re going to fatten him up!” She shrugs and leaves me standing there with my face puckered.

  My dad walks to me and places his hands on my shoulders then kisses my forehead. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, Doodlebug.”

  I whine again, “Dad, did you not hear what she said to him?”

  He gives me a sympathetic smile but the words don’t match his smile. “She’s your mother and you’ve only got one of them. Besides we had plenty to share.” I let out an exasperated groan. Jessie grins from ear to ear and it makes me want to slap him. He loves the attention my parents give us both; he basks in it anytime he gets the opportunity. Prima races out of my bedroom toward their voices, the traitor… I’m now alone in the foyer, mindless chatter echoes from the other room and I sigh as I replay the words my mother said out loud. Besides your little friend looks like he could use a good hot meal, fatten em’ up a bit. Just great Mom, I need his help to stop a freak and you’re going to fatten him up in the process.

  Jessie left me again too soon that afternoon for another week of training for his new job. My parents left about seven so Prima and I watch a little T.V. before I make my lunch and decide to get things ready for work the next day.

  ****

  When I arrive at work the next morning Mr. Samford was already there and I get worried I’d looked at the time wrong before I left the house. I check the clock on my car and cell phone and they are the same. He is definitely early and definitely in a bad mood which is a first for me when dealing with him. I make sure I do my job extra carefully
today, not that I don’t do that every day, but if I notice the coffee on the coffee maker is low, I make a fresh pot. If there is something I can handle without bothering him, I do it. He leaves about 1:45 for a meeting he has with a potential new client at 2:00. I don’t know if he would have left then if I hadn’t reminded him and that seemed to make him grumpier. When he left I went into his office to put away any files he’d pulled and to grab his empty coffee cup. I notice a new picture of his family, him, his wife and their daughter. They seem happy and his wife is a typical trophy wife, with beautiful shiny brown hair, and their daughter having the same hair as her mother. I set it back down on his desk, and then see a letter sticking out from under a stack of files. I quickly read over the letter then find myself sitting in his chair. It’s a letter from an attorney regarding the estate of his father. His father had passed away. That was the family emergency and he never said a word? No wonder he was in a terrible mood, I don’t think I could’ve gone back to work so soon after dealing with something like that. I would’ve been devastated. He’s going to know I saw the letter, I wonder if I should say something? I wish I would’ve sent flowers. I fold the letter and stick it back in the envelope that had been lying underneath it, grab the files and put them back in their proper place.

  When he arrives back from his meeting it was a little before 5, he lays the proposal file on my desk. He seems happier but not his normal self “We got a new account today.”

  I give him a smile. “That’s great; I’ll get started setting them up in the system.” He gave me a smile and it didn’t seem genuine or reach his eyes. “Um, Mr. Samford.” He had just stepped away from my desk, but turns back toward me. “I was putting away the files on your desk and saw the letter about your father; I hope you don’t think I was snooping. I’m sorry for your loss. I’ve still got both my parents so I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”

  His face saddens, he looks down at the floor and then back at me. “Thank you, Ms. Morrow.” I watch him walk back into his office and shut the door behind him. I stare at the closed door for a while wishing there was something I could do or say. I sigh and decide to go over our new client information.