Contrition (The Perception Trilogy)

by Strauss, Lee

And then we laughed. Our cackling bounced off the walls, echoing back to us which made us laugh even more. We had water. We would survive.

  Though it was just a moment of insanity for us, it was good to see Noah smile back at me.

  Chapter 2

  We left the cool shelter of the water tunnel and my eyes involuntarily squeezed shut against the bright sunlight.

  I squinted at the guys.“Now what?”

  Jabez squinted back. “We have to go back and help the others.”

  “Maybe we need to scout for shelter while we’re here,” I added.

  Noah ran a hand through his dark hair and then cupped his eyes as he scanned the region around us. “Good idea. There’s gotta be more tunnels. Let’s take a look around.”

  We walked toward the eastern side of the ridge, and checked out every crevice and dark patch, but nothing opened up into an orifice large enough to shelter us from the sun. I understood why Taylor had directed us to go east—the sun was high in the sky now and almost over the ridge on its way to setting on the other side of the mountains. Soon we’d have a lot of shade.

  Noah stepped in stride beside me. “Are you okay?” he asked. “You’ve had quite a time of it these last two days.”

  “I’m fine.” I nudged his arm. “I didn’t get a chance to say thank-you.”

  His head tilted down as he watched my face. “For what?”

  “For saving my life.” I waved my good arm. “Again.”

  “You mean from Mara, the cyborg assassin?”

  “Yeah.”

  He let out a long breath. “I’ve never killed anyone before.”

  I stopped. “Noah, I know your life has been turned upside down because of me. I hope you know I’m grateful.”

  He reached up and moved a stray strand of hair off my forehead and hooked it behind my ear. I shivered at the tenderness of his touch and the coarseness of his skin. I closed my eyes and soaked it in.

  “I’m committed to your safety, Zoe. You know that, right?”

  Committed to my safety. His words were meant to encourage me, but instead they were like a punch in the gut. They meant his feelings for me hadn’t changed as a result of these crises. Almost losing me hadn’t affected him the way almost losing him had affected me.

  It meant he had a real thing for Mary.

  “Yeah, sure.” I swallowed hard and blinked back the stinging in my eyes. “We should catch up to Jabez.”

  We heard Jabez shout out, and Noah and I started running. By the smile on his face, I could deduct it was a shout of joy.

  “Found something?” I asked when we reached him.

  Jabez pointed to a slender gap in the rock face. “Check it out.”

  The entrance was long and narrow, barely wide enough for me to walk through. The guys had to turn slightly, one shoulder at a time. Jabez waved the beam from his flashlight revealing a round room high enough to stand in, and about twice as deep and wide as it was high.

  “It’s not huge, but big enough to keep the seven of us out of the elements,” he said. “And it gets better. There’s another cave adjoined. It’s too small to sleep in but perfect for setting up tech. There’s even a hole like a little window. Taylor will freak.”

  Setting up tech wherever we went was a high priority. We had to keep track of our enemies and make sure they didn’t find us.

  We headed back to where we left Taylor and the girls.

  “Wow,” Taylor said when we arrived. “I thought we’d lost you.”

  “Sorry we took so long,” I started. I wanted to be the one to share the good news. “But, not only did we find water, we found a cool lava cave for shelter!”

  Taylor high-fived me. I sat wearily on the sand while Noah returned to Mary’s side. We agreed to a short rest before returning. I felt light-headed and out of breath. I lay all the way down and closed my eyes. Hannah passed the bag of sunflower seeds around, and I reached out for a handful. That was what I needed to get my energy back.

  “Okay, kids,” Taylor started. “We need to get to our new home before dark.” Taylor propped Rebecca and Noah lifted Mary. I wished I had an excuse to lean on someone. Hannah seemed to have more energy than me, and I wasn’t even pregnant. I roused myself to push onward.

  It was a silent journey outside of the sounds of feet scuffing the sand, breaths growing increasingly heavy and the odd groan of pain from Rebecca and Mary. My arm throbbed and I babied it. I had to carry my bag on my right side and the kink in my back and neck worsened with each minute. I was more than relieved when we stopped to drink at the stream.

  “Careful,” I called out. “The surface can be slippery.” We stayed near the entrance of the water tunnel. Jabez filled the jug and helped Mary to get a drink. The rest of us scooped water with our hands. The water pooled deeper toward the back of the cave and disappeared underground under the entrance.

  “This is fantastic!” Taylor said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “We can survive with this.”

  “It’s a miracle,” Hannah added.

  We certainly were lucky.

  There were more exclamations from the commune people when we showed them the shelter cave. Taylor let out a whoop when he saw the smaller cave for his tech.

  Rebecca started micromanaging from her spot on the ground, her red ankle peeking out as she fought to keep her leg covered with what remained of her skirt. “We need to build a fire there, near the door so the smoke can escape,” she said.

  “Why do we need a fire?” I asked. “I thought the idea was to get away from the heat.”

  Rebecca’s expression soured. “What do you think we should cook on? Besides, deserts get cold at night. Even I know that.”

  Okay.

  “The girls can sleep on this side of the fire,” she continued, waving her hand at the side of the cave she occupied, “and the guys on that side, by the tech cave.”

  My eyes shot to Noah. What I really wanted was to sleep next to him. Or at least near him. He caught me looking. His lips tugged up slightly. He couldn’t conceal his amusement.

  Fine. If he was fine, I was too.

  So, the sleeping arrangements were worked out but we didn’t have anything to sleep on, only one blanket between us.

  And even with fire, we had nothing to cook. Unless Rebecca wanted to roast the sunflower seeds.

  I sat down on the dirt and the others followed. One thing we all shared right now besides being hungry and thirsty was extreme fatigue. We’d missed a night’s sleep.

  “It’s a good idea to sleep during the day,” Taylor said, lying down. “It’s too hot to be productive and we don’t have to worry about dangerous creatures since they also take a break from the heat of the day.”

  Right. Dangerous creatures. Forgot to add that to my list of miseries. And one more, I thought as Noah lay down on the other side of the cave. Unrequited love.

  “I suggest we all have a nap,” Jabez said, “and when we wake up, we can figure out our next move.”

  I took my cue from him and joined them, using my winter coat as a sleeping mat. The smell of dirt and stale, desert heat mixed with human sweat-drenched weariness assaulted my senses. I adjusted my bag as a makeshift pillow and positioned my good arm over my nose.

  Hannah curled up beside Rebecca.

  “I can’t believe that today is Christmas,” Rebecca whispered.

  “I know,” Hannah whispered back. “It seems like a decade since we sat down for Christmas Eve dinner.”

  And went to church, leaving me alone in the factory.

  I was sure I’d have nightmares about Mara and her red, bionic eye, or about planes falling out of the sky. Turned out I was too exhausted for dreams. Before I knew it, the light that shone in from the entrance had dimmed to black, and I startled awake to a mournful howl.

  Chapter 3

  My hand instinctively went to my gun under my pack.

  “What was that?”

  I heard shifting bodies and loud breathing, but I couldn’t see any
thing but a sliver of stars through the cave entrance.

  Jabez flicked on the flashlight which filled the cave with a ghoulish glow.

  “It’s just coyotes,” Taylor said. “They won’t bother us if we don’t bother them.”

  “Famous last words,” I said.

  His eyes darted to me and his lips pulled up in a crooked smirk. He patted the spot beside him. “If you’re scared, I’ll protect you.”

  I responded with an exaggerated eye roll, but a part of me appreciated the offer.

  “I’d feel better with a fire,” Rebecca said.

  Jabez stood. “I’ll go look for something to burn, but I have to take this flashlight with me.”

  “Be careful,” Mary said with a low, tired voice.

  Jabez bent down to squeeze her hand. “I’ll be right back.”

  I shivered from the coolness of the night. And the fact that we were left in pure darkness in a cave in the middle of the desert with nocturnal creatures such as snakes and scorpions didn’t help.

  I slipped my coat on and waited uncomfortably. I had to go to the bathroom—plus, my stomach complained about being empty, and my mouth was parched. I forced a dry swallow.

  A blast of blue light filled the cave and a quick look showed me it was Taylor’s laptop.

  “Does that thing work in here?” Noah asked.

  Taylor nodded and walked it to the cave entrance. “We’re over a hundred miles away from Tucson. Too far to walk for supplies, but there’s a town three miles away.”

  “I thought all the desert towns had been abandoned,” I said. A lack of water had forced many towns to close up shop. Only the domed cities like Tucson and Phoenix were equipped with the utilities needed to sustain life in the extreme desert conditions. Their environments were controlled and energized by a forest of solar panels and wind turbines. There were strict limits on how many people could live and work in each one.

  “They’re basically ghost towns,” Taylor said. “But, we might find something useful to us. Like batteries. That flashlight isn’t going to run forever. Not to mention my laptop battery. Would be nice to find a generator.”

  “You’re suggesting we go looting?” I asked.

  His eyes moved from his monitor to my face. “Yup.”

  “We might not have a choice,” Noah said. “If we’re going to last here for any length of time, we’re going to need more than what we have. We’ll have to get it one way or another.”

  Our attention was drawn to the sound of footsteps coming from outside. Jabez entered with an armful of dried twigs and dead cactus parts. “Ouch!” he said. “This kindling is biting me.” He dropped his bundle and stuffed a pricked finger into his mouth.

  Noah dug a small pit with his hands and pushed the fuel into it. Jabez lit the match. The dried twigs started quickly but with no small amount of smoke.

  I coughed and thought I’d let go of my bladder. “I have to go to the ladies room,” I said, shimmying around the fire pit.

  “Me, too,” Rebecca said.

  Hannah added, “Me, three.”

  Hannah and I put our arms out to help Rebecca, who immediately leaned into Hannah but gave me a wary look before reluctantly accepting my help.

  “Don’t go too far,” Noah called after us. Like we could with Rebecca hopping on one leg like that.

  A half moon reflected off the sand, creating a surprising amount of light. I was still glad to have snagged the flashlight. The last thing I wanted to do was disturb a nest of snakes or something equally as venomous.

  The guys left to attend to the call of nature after we returned.

  “What about you?” I asked Mary. “You must have to go, too.”

  She nodded.

  “We need something we can use as a bedpan,” Hannah said.

  Mary moaned. “This is so embarrassing.”

  “With those ribs, you really don’t have an option,” Hannah replied gently. “But don’t be embarrassed. I’ve delivered babies, and nothing can be worse than that.”

  We decided to pour the sunflower seeds into an empty water bottle, and somehow Hannah and Mary managed with that bag. I helped Rebecca to the large stone that sat near the entrance. It had been smoothed out by the elements and was perfect seating for two. We waited there, guarding the entrance should the guys get back before Mary and Hannah were finished. Before too long, Hannah slipped outside and disposed of the bag.

  Nurses deserved a special medal. She returned like she’d just left to pick up the mail. I helped Rebecca back inside. Mary was propped up against the wall with her winter jacket acting as a makeshift pillow against the wall, looking surprisingly good for a girl with broken ribs and a concussion.

  The guys returned. Taylor acknowledged me with raised eyebrows before heading for the tech cave. Jabez sat beside Mary. She whispered into his ear, and then he scuttled over to Hannah. I could read his lips from across the cave as he quietly thanked her. Hannah’s eyes brightened and she smiled, turning away shyly. Jabez’s gaze lingered on her face for a moment before he returned to his sister.

  Noah sat alone, arms resting on raised knees, an equal distance between Mary and me. He grinned at her. I remembered witnessing the kiss they’d shared. Was there still something going on between them?

  Then his eyes darted back to me and his smile wavered. He finally settled at staring at his clasped hands. I frowned. There was definitely something going on between them.

  The fire burned nicely, filling the cave with a cozy glow and providing welcome warmth. I’d thought living in the desert would mean never feeling cold again, but Rebecca had been right about the nights getting chilly.

  Hannah passed around the hand sanitizer that was part of the first aid kit and then we proceeded to finish off the sunflower seeds. We held out our hands as she circled through the cave to fill them. “That’s the last of it,” she announced when we all had our portion.

  Taylor spit out empty shells into his palm. “We’d better hope we find more to eat around here soon,”

  The remaining water was consumed as well. At least we could get that refilled whenever we wanted to.

  “Taylor suggested we check out the abandoned town nearby for supplies,” Noah announced.

  Jabez nodded. “That’s a good idea. We should go right away so we can be back before the heat gets unbearable.”

  Noah stood, rubbing the remnants of the salty sunflower seeds on his thighs. “I’ll go.”

  “I’m going, too,” I said.

  Jabez also volunteered.

  “No sense us all going,” Taylor said, his eyes still glued to his laptop. “I’ll stay with the girls.”

  Noah made a show of taking his rifle. “Just in case,” he said.

  Taylor patted his bag. “I got mine, too. Not that I’m expecting trouble. Still, I wish there was a way we could stay in contact.”

  Noah and I had long since gotten rid of our Communication Rings, which made it harder for the authorities, especially my lunatic grandfather, from finding us.

  But I missed it at times like this. Being out of touch and off the grid came with a certain vulnerability.

  “Wish list?” Noah asked before we left.

  “Batteries,” Taylor answered.

  “Pots and dishes,” Rebecca said. “And something to wash them in.”

  “Blankets,” Hannah said.

  “Food,” I chirped.

  Taylor smirked. “Toss in a generator while you’re at it, Santa.” He walked over to us with his laptop. “Here’s where we are. The closest town of Aguila is three and a half miles west. Walk the road we landed on and you’ll get there in an hour.”

  Noah grabbed the empty jug. “I’ll get water.”

  The three of us headed west on the road we practically crash landed on nearly twenty-four hours earlier. The sun peeked on the horizon casting the same colorful hue as when we’d arrived. Seeing the plane tilted onto a broken wing made my insides freeze. The terror of that experience remained firmly rooted in my
being.

  None of us spoke as we past it, but I could see the tension of anxiety on their faces.

  And who knew what new terrors we’d encounter today?

  Our footsteps created a rhythm on the packed dirt road. The air, crisp yet warming quickly, blew across our faces. I held a hand up to my mouth and nose to keep from breathing in the sand it stirred up. The night song of the cicadas gradually grew quieter with the lightening of day while our breathing grew heavier.

  The bags we carried were empty except for our weapons. We’d have a heavier load on the trip home.

  Hopefully.

  I walked next to Noah, a good six inches between us. My eyes kept darting to his profile. His jaw, though covered in dark bristles, seemed sharper than I remembered from last summer, his brow sterner. His dark eyes bore straight ahead, like a man on a mission.

  His mission was to keep me alive and safe, and this was just another effort for him to accomplish that. I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve such a dedicated, brave, and hot guardian angel.

  I cleared my voice. “I wouldn’t mind a sip of water.”

  Noah stopped and handed me the jug. He watched me as I took a drink, his eyes landing on my throat, and moving up to my mouth. My heart raced, but I kept my eyes steady on his, challenging him. Deep down I knew he still wanted me, loved me. He was just too stubborn to admit it. He broke away, covering his mouth with a forced cough.

  I tilted my head and flashed him a questioning look. “Maybe you need another drink?”

  He shook his head without glancing back at me. “No, I’m good. Give it to Jabez.”

  Jabez took the offered jug and slugged it back. “Another fifteen minutes,” he said. He wiped his mouth with his arm, unaware of the awkwardness that had just exploded between Noah and me.

  We finally spotted the town. It was eerily dark, not a single street light or house light on.

  “Creepy,” I muttered.

  Jabez nodded. “I’m glad I haven’t watched any zombie movies lately.”

  The sun beat down at a thirty degree angle casting long shadows across the street. Sage brush blew across yards and down the middle of the road. Besides the odd cactus, they were the only signs of living vegetation. Every other plant life was burned to a crisp.