The Certainty of Deception

by Jeanne McDonald

  It was a good thing I listened to myself, because in that moment the back door opened. McKenzie opened her eyes, those big blue orbs seemed lost, yet a flicker of anger passed over her features. I released her, shocked at what I’d seen.

  Jared slammed on the brakes. An oomph came from Gavin who ran into him. Jared mouthed an apology, nearly ready to push Gavin back out the door when I shook my head, letting him know not to go anywhere. “I’ll see you in the morning,” I said to her, motioning to Jared and Gavin that it was time to go.

  “I said I’ll walk you out,” she countered.

  “Go change, Mickie. I don’t want you getting sick.”

  I leaned in and brushed a tender kiss to her cheek, and then left the house without so much as looking back.

  Chapter Ten

  Back at the hotel, I was happy that the three of us had opted for individual rooms. The whole drive back, Jared and Gavin wanted to chat about the night’s events. I, however, was in no mood for hashing out the details of my ridiculous love life with those two.

  As soon as I was alone in my room, I stripped down to take a long, hot shower. I removed my contacts, blinking away the discomfort I felt. Chlorine and contact lenses don’t mix well. The pounding of the water on my back should’ve relieved the tension I felt, but sadly it didn’t. My mind was lost in the big blue eyes of McKenzie Evans. Normally, I’d shrug shit off, but tonight I saw something in her that, for lack of a better word, frightened me. Was it sadness? Was it animosity? Maybe anger? Heaven forbid, hatred? Whatever it was, that look stuck with me. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I missed something rather important.

  I jumped out of the shower, toweled off, then quickly slipped into a comfy pair of boxer briefs. My mind reeled with the night’s events, instantly replaying every scenario, stupid move, and what could have been. It was enough to drive me crazy, and let me tell you, that’s a short trip. Women are far too confusing and complicated for me. There was only one way to appease my befuddled mind. I needed a woman’s perspective.

  I plopped down on the bed, ready to rip my hair out. There was only one person who could help me with this predicament. Out of their own fruition, my fingers began to dial my sister’s number. Andie was the only woman in the world who could set me straight.

  “Hello?” The sound of Andie’s voice brought back my Bostonian roots in one quick blow. Her Northern accent was nearly as thick as Mickie’s Southern drawl.

  “Hey there, little sis,” I replied, leaning back, resting my head against the headboard, as I crossed my ankles. The cotton linens on the bed rustled softly beneath me with each move I made.

  “Little, hmm? Last time I checked, I do recall you being my little brother.”

  I closed my eyes, propping my arm above my head against the leather headboard. The perfect image of my twin sister danced behind my eyelids. At this time of night, Andie would’ve just finished a performance. She’d be locked up in her dressing room, coming down from the immense high she always got from completing a show. I imagined Andie sitting at her dressing table, rubbing the arches of her feet, as she often did after a performance. Her soft brown hair hung in curls around her heart-shaped face, having been tied up in a tight bun while she danced. Maybe she picked up a cleansing cloth to remove her stage makeup, exposing her deep blue eyes and plump pout. Andie could easily be described as tall, slender, toned, but most of all, extremely beautiful. And while she secretly dreamed of finding her one true love, life had made her cynical. Not that I blamed her. Her experiences in love were as bad as mine. Possibly worse.

  “By fifteen minutes. Besides, I believe it’s customary for women to discourage the topic of age. I was only thinking of you and didn’t want to damage your delicate sensibilities regarding your advanced age.”

  “Ha!” Andie squawked. “Said sensibilities are only taken into consideration when apprehending the attention of a companion. You, my dear brother, are not in that category. Therefore, my advanced age, as you put it, is not something to shrink away from. In fact, it is to be admired, because it gives me the right to kick your scrawny ass.”

  My head fell back in laughter. “I swear you should’ve become a lawyer.”

  Andie joined in my laughter. “Right.”

  “Oh, c’mon,” I teased, pulling my arm away from the headboard. At first my skin stung from fusing with the leather. I rested the receiver on my shoulder, and rubbed my arm. “Dad would’ve been so proud. You could’ve been the first Wise female to become an attorney.”

  Andie had it easy growing up in comparison to me. Dad seemed to hate me from the moment I entered the world. I could never do anything right. Andie, being a frilly little girl who loved to dress up and dance around the house, was coddled, which drove her crazy. When it came time for us to attend college, she immediately chose to go into the arts. There was no way she’d become a lawyer and have Father treat her like the princess of the office. I, on the other hand, was forced to follow family tradition.

  “Bullshit, Nova. We both know he wanted me to marry a lawyer, not become one.”

  I reached down and tugged a string on the hem of my boxer briefs. “Are you ever going to quit calling me that?” I grumbled.

  No teenage boy should ever share the same grade level as his sister. It’s simply cruel. While Andie and I attended different prep schools, we were subjected to the same mixed gatherings, such as proms and spring formals. It was during one of those events that the stupid nickname emerged.

  Back in high school, I had a reputation of being a ladies’ man. Granted, not much changed afterward, but the truth was, I only had two real girlfriends in high school. Neither of which were involved with the rumor. According to legend, I had a tryst with the captain of the lacrosse team’s girlfriend during the winter formal. Did I mention she was a senior and I was a sophomore?

  The rumors were untrue. Not that I wouldn’t have minded having a go at her, but I wasn’t the type to cheat, so she held no appeal to me. But the damage was done, and I inherited the awful nickname Casanova out of the deal; on top of a bloody lip and a black eye from her boyfriend who believed what was being spread around the two schools. Andie got wind of the nickname and had her fun with it. She shortened it to Nova and spread to every girl she came in contact with. Much to my dismay, it stuck, and to make matters worse, since many of my high school chums followed me to Harvard, so did the nickname. It wasn’t until I moved to Sarasota that I was able to abandon it, but Andie has never let it go.

  “Nope. Nevah gonna happen.” I rubbed my hand over my face, feeling the vein pulse in my forehead. Before I could respond, she asked, “So, how’s Vegas?”

  I shot up straight in the bed, nearly dropping the phone. “Who told you I’m in Vegas?”

  Andie laughed, her voice carrying long and hard. “Who else?”

  Olivia!

  “Why the fuck is she calling you?”

  “Hell if I know. What I want to know is who gave that bitch my number.”

  “Wasn’t me.” I thought for a moment. “But I bet we can probably thank my former secretary for that it.”

  “I never liked that witch,” Andie groaned. “I never understood what possessed you to sleep with her.”

  I threw my hand in the air, as if she could see me. “I was drunk!”

  “Psh. That’s such a lame excuse.” She chuckled lightly. I knew it bothered her that I suffered with alcoholism as I did. Deep down, I think she worried that she could easily fall into the same trap, especially since our mother was a closet drunk. There was no doubt in my mind that she’d ever have my issues. Andie was strong. Stronger than anyone I knew. Not that I’d ever tell her that. She’d never let me hear the end of it.

  “Let me present the evidence,” I stated in my most legal sounding tone.

  “Please don’t. What I really want to know is why you’re calling me so late. Shouldn’t you be out dropping loads of cash into a stripper’s g-string or at the craps tables?”

  “Could you imagine
Gavin at a strip club?” I fluffed the pillows behind me and scooted down the bed, resting my head on the soft clouds.

  “It might be kind of fun to watch him turn a million shades of red.”

  “A million shades of red is an understatement. I remember the last time he and I went to...” I stopped mid sentence. It had been over ten years since the last time I accompanied Gavin to a gentlemen’s club. I was about to graduate Harvard Law and start the next stage of my life with the woman I loved. I closed my eyes tight, fighting back the pain and anger the raged within me at the memories. I hated to admit that my father was right about anything, but he’d been right about Rebecca. A fact that he continues to hold over my head to this day.

  Andie breathed a tender sigh. “I remember.” Moments passed without another word said. “Since I know you’re not really in Vegas,” Andie quipped, to break the oppressive silence, “and since you’re calling me from a phone that’s obviously not yours,” -she took a deep breath- “and since you’re calling me so late at night, something’s wrong. So, how about you cut to the chase, and tell me what’s going on, Drew?”

  A chill resonated down my spine. I rubbed my chin; the stubble scratching against my fingertips. “Can’t a brother want to talk to his sister without something going on?”

  “Sure he can, but I know you. So, talk to me, little brother.”

  I lowered my voice, covered my hand over my mouth and started breathing heavily. “‘I find your lack of faith disturbing,’” I quoted Darth Vader.

  “‘Enough of this, Vader!’” Andie returned Lord Tarkin’s response right on cue.

  “I can’t believe you remember that.”

  “How could I forget? You forced Gavin and me to watch A New Hope every day for an entire summer. Now stop stalling, and tell me what’s on your mind.”

  I lifted my head from the pillow and dropped it back down as hard as I could in frustration. Call it twin intuition or sisterly annoyance, but Andie had me.

  “You’re right. We’re not in Vegas. We’re in Amarillo, Texas,” I sulked.

  “We’re? As in you and Gavin?”

  “And Jared.”

  “Ah, yes. The illustrious Jared Christopher. I hate that I didn’t get to meet him the last time I was in Sarasota. The way Gavin talks about him, you’d think he was a god among men.”

  The first week after McKenzie left, Andie flew into Sarasota to stay with me. Sobering me up has never been an easy task, but I was lucky enough to have two siblings who cared about my well-being. Gavin kept things under wraps with my father, while Andie kept me from falling back into terrible habits. The only downfall was she had been stuck with me the entire time she was there. This prevented her from meeting Jared or Olivia, but didn’t stop me from spilling my guts to her about my exasperating love life.

  “Looking to add another notch to the old bedpost?” I jabbed.

  “Quit stalling, Nova. Tell me what’s going on and why the hell are you in Amarillo?” she paused, “Never mind. I already know. Our darling McKenzie.”

  I tapped the side of my nose. “Bingo.”

  “So you finally decided to get up off your lazy ass and get her back.”

  “Hey, now! You agreed with Gavin that I needed to give her space.”

  “Semantics. So, I guess things aren’t going according to plan. She didn’t fling herself into your arms, declaring her undying love for you, did she?”

  “I might be a romantic, Andie, but I’m not an idiot. I knew she wouldn’t do that. I just thought,” I sighed, “honestly, I don’t know what I thought.”

  “You thought you’d arrive there to find her pining away for you. Instead, you found walls built up so tall and so strong that your scrawny ass can’t climb over them, let alone break them down.”

  What could I say? Andie hit the nail straight on the head. “Yeah.”

  “Now, you want to know what you should do.”

  “Um, yeah.”

  “And you need my help.”

  “Thank you, Captain Obvious,” I grumbled. Springing off the bed, I began to pace the small space allotted by the phone cord.

  “Tell me what happened,” she encouraged.

  The flood gates opened and the whole day’s events spilled out of me. Everything that I’d bottled up inside spewed out in the worst case of verbal diarrhea imaginable. At one point I felt as though I might breakdown and cry. Not that I would give anyone that satisfaction, but still, the urge was there. I even gave face time to Gage, which left my mouth feeling dry and my stomach churning. When I finally stopped to take a breath, Andie hummed that ‘I see the issue, but how can you be so blind?’ sound. My chest felt heavy, as I sank back onto the bed.

  “What am I missing?” I asked in a huff.

  “For being such a smart man, you really are stupid,” she observed.

  “I keep hearing that lately, and I’m starting to get a complex over it,” I retorted in aggravation.

  “Quit being such a whiney bag. What I’m trying to say is you’re over thinking this shit and not seeing the obvious solution here. Think about it. You and McKenzie started out on this crazy journey by simply being together.”

  “Yeah. So?” My nose twitched and my lip curled, as I fought to control my temper.

  “So, what the fuck are you doing on the phone with me?”

  I draped my arm over my eyes. This was turning out to be a complete waste of my time. I could be insulted anytime. I didn’t need this right now.

  “I thought I was coming to you for help,” I postulated.

  “That’s not what I mean, Andrew,” she snapped. “You once told me that you often found yourself going to her place because there was some magnetic pull between the two of you. Is that still the case?”

  My answer came swift and certain. “Yes.”

  “Then what are you doing on the phone with me?” she repeated to me slowly. “You need to get your ass over to her place right now. Her inviting you to breakfast was clearly her way of opening herself up to you, but she’s scared. And she has every right to be.”

  “She’s scared? Scared of what? She was the one who left me.” I sat up, throwing my legs over the side of bed, placing my feet on the floor. “You think I need to go to her place now? It’s late. She’s probably asleep.”

  “That’s something you’ll have to ask her about,” Andie chuckled. “And, trust me. She’s no more asleep than you are. I’d bet anything that she’s up right now, trying to make sense of everything. You need to go. Now!”

  “But what if she doesn’t want me there?”

  “Stop over thinking this. Geez. I’m beginning to think you’ve lost your dick and grown a vagina. It’s not rocket science. Stop stalling and get over there. Trust me on this one.”

  “And what do I say?”

  “Nothing. Everything. Stop thinking about it and go!”

  I laughed, somehow knowing that she was right. When McKenzie lived in Sarasota, I often stopped by her apartment, unannounced, just to be close to her. This was no different. I had her address. I would simply show up. No harm done.

  “Okay! I’ll go.” The heaviness in my chest lifted. This had to be the right course of action. “Thank you, Andie. You’re a lifesaver, you know that?”

  “Yeah, yeah. Now go.”

  I smiled, imagining her grinning wide and proud. “I love you, little sis.”

  A soft laugh met me across the line. “I love you, too, little brother.” Then the line went dead; Andie’s subtle way of pushing me into action. I dropped the receiver down on the base and raided my suitcase, pulling out my favorite t-shirt of Yoda smoking a joint and khaki shorts. Not wanting to waste time with my contacts, I put on my glasses, slid on a pair of flip-flops, grabbed my keys and wallet, and dashed out the door. I had a date with destiny and I didn’t want to be late.

  C

  hapter Eleven

  Amarillo was a quiet city. The roads devoid of travelling vehicles save the occasional semi-truck hauling their load through
the sleepy, little town. A high velocity vortex enveloped the car from the brutal wind, as I made the fifteen minute drive to McKenzie’s apartment. Low in the sky, the moon hung, shrouded by drifting clouds. A blanket of stars sparkled against the midnight backdrop. I marveled at the beauty and clarity in which the stars revealed themselves to this seemingly forgotten part of the world.

  I arrived at her apartment complex and parked the car as close as I could to the building. As I got out of the car, I wiped my sweaty palms on my shorts and swallowed the lump that started to develop in my throat. I’d done this before, several months back, when she first moved into her own place in Sarasota. That was also the day I met her parents. Talk about a total cock-blocking moment. I had to hide the raging hard-on, which was ever present in my pants that day. Let me just say, that’s not an easy task to undertake.

  At the door of her charming little apartment, a twinge of sadness washed over me. The place was older than her apartment in Sarasota. It lacked the gorgeous view of the gulf and the rustic feel, but somehow I imagined that this was all that she could afford on her current salary.

  I lightly tapped my knuckles on the door, practically holding my breath in anticipation.

  “I swear to God,” McKenzie slurred from the other side of the door, “if that’s you, I’m kicking you so hard in the balls that you’ll never be able to procreate.”

  Two thoughts occurred simultaneously at the sound of her voice. One, who the hell was she talking to, and two, was she wasted?

  I rested both arms against the doorframe, leaning my head closer to the door. “Mickie?” I hissed.

  “Oh, God!” The next thing I heard was her cursing and fumbling around the room. There was a loud bang followed by more cursing.

  “You all right in there?” I called out.

  “Just a second!” she croaked. “Son of a -” her words were cut off by another loud thud. I pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose, laughing at the commotion going on inside her apartment. A dog started barking, and for a moment I thought it was right behind me. The way the doors were angled from one another made the animal sound much closer than it really was. I glanced at the door to my right, and shushed the animal, wondering how large it might be.