Lost Without You (The Lost Series Book 2)

by Tracie Douglas

  For a brief moment, I want to rage, to scream, and to give into the emotions I’ve long fought, but I don’t. The last thing I want him to know is how much having him here affects me. So, I turn away from him, because it’s the only way I can allow myself the moment I need to make sure I am in control of myself. I take the shock, the awe, the anger, even the love I still feel, and shove it deep down, careful to put my practiced calm and indifferent mask in place.

  Even though the air feels like it has been sucked out of the room, I realize I’m standing in the middle of the room with my back still to them and I’ve said nothing. I’m not sure how much time has passed, but I can’t keep standing here. Moving toward the coffee pot, I pour myself a cup of coffee and take a slow sip, careful not to burn my tongue on the scorching liquid. I finally feel composed enough to face him and everything that will come with the moment. I turn, meeting his stare with one of my own.

  “Hello, Kingston.” My voice is monotone but polite, and I watch as his eyes search my face and my body for any show of emotion. I almost feel bad he doesn’t find any, but then I remind myself of the state he left me in. The pain he caused me. The tears I shed. The heartache I’ve nursed for far too long. No, I’m going to use this moment and finally take the first step of getting over him. I don’t care how dark or warm his eyes are; he is nothing but an uncaring beast.

  Sadness settles in his eyes, his pain obvious, and for a moment, I feel the internal wall of ice I’ve built over the last few months crack just a tiny bit. Fuck, why does he have to be so good-looking?

  I knew this day was bound to happen; he’s friends with my brother after all. Despite the multitude of pep talks I’ve given myself trying to prepare for this moment, I’m quickly learning there is no such thing as being prepared. I’m trying to be strong, but I’m not a person who enjoys inflicting pain or watching others suffer from it. I’m a healer, and it takes everything in me not to take him in my arms and soothe his pain.

  Play it cool, I chant to myself over and over. Playing it cool puts it mildly, but I only say it to keep myself from surrendering to the emotions quickly filling every inch of my body. With steadfast determination, I muster the courage to continue.

  “It’s nice to see you doing well.” I take the sight of him in and realize how wrong my observation of him really is. He doesn’t look good at all. He looks like the last few months have been hell on him, and he’s lost a lot of weight because of it.

  “I figured you’d go home to bed this morning,” Hudson speaks, pulling my gaze from Kingston. The tension has left his body, and he offers me an understanding smile. He knows I’m not one to make a scene, but then again, he’s never seen me with a broken heart either.

  “Sorry to bust in on you, little brother, but I need a quick boost before turning in.” I lift my cup to my lips, trying to seem as casual as possible. My body and my mind are both numbing to the emotions whirling around me. “I’ll be out of your hair as soon as I finish.”

  “No rush,” he says and looks at Kingston. “We were talking about a new business opportunity.”

  “Yeah? What about?” I ask, trying to sound interested, but I’m the furthest thing from it. I want to get out of here as soon as possible, but I’m committed to this new role.

  “Do you want to tell her?” Hudson asks Kingston, who finally takes his eyes off me.

  “Sure. I’m going to open a private security company, and I’m here to offer a position to Hudson,” he says softly, looking down at his coffee.

  “I hope you’re not trying to get my brother to move to North Carolina. Not after I got him back.”

  “Actually, I’m looking to move here,” he murmurs, careful to look away from me. He doesn’t want to see my reaction to his confession. He’s moving here. We’ll be living in the same state, in the same town. This new piece of information does something to me, something I can’t quite describe. Having him here day in and day out is not something I’m prepared for. My heart leaps at the idea of seeing him, but my mind tells me to turn around and run.

  “Oh.” I offer a forced smile, trying to keep everything I’m thinking and feeling from showing on my face. I clench my mug hard in between my hands. “I’m sure Hudson will love having you here.”

  “I hope so. I’ve missed him,” he says softly. Something about the way he says those words makes me think he wants to say something else. I quickly squash the hope forming in my chest, and he looks up at me, letting me see the regret buried in his eyes. I clear my throat and move to the sink, dumping the rest of my coffee.

  “What about the rest of the team? Are they on board, too?” I reach for the dish cloth and pretend to wipe down the counter next to me. I need to keep busy, to keep my mind from thinking about what I saw in his eyes.

  “They will be,” Hudson answers.

  “Missy, are you okay with me being here?” Kingston asks suddenly. His question throws me; I don’t expect such bluntness from him, but I take a deep breath and grip the towel in my hand, trying to hide how badly my hands are shaking. I turn back and smile as brightly as I can, acting the shit out of the moment, but my heart cracks so deep in my chest I feel like falling to the ground from the pressure.

  “Why wouldn’t I be? We’re friends, Kingston. That’s all we’ve ever been. It’s all we’ll ever be.” I watch his face fall as I speak. I know he was fishing. He only asked me that question to find out if I still felt something for him. Even if I did, it wouldn’t matter.

  He made it clear six months ago, when he broke my heart, where we stood, and I’ll be damned if I let him make me forget. It’s taken me this long to pick up all the pieces, to function as a normal person. There’s no way I’m going back now. If Kingston wants me in his life, it’s best he learns here and now, there will never be anything between us again.

  Now, I only hope I’m able to convince myself of that last bit.

  Chapter Seven

  The Break-In

  Missy

  Three Years Later, Present Day

  The sound of a door closing downstairs jerks me awake. I glance over at my clock. Red numbers blink at me. One-thirty in the morning. What the hell? I roll over onto my stomach and throw the blanket over my head. I must have been dreaming.

  The soft sounds of footsteps walking across my wooden floors downstairs make my heart jump. I flip over and sit straight up. I hold my breath as my ears listen to validate what I heard. Seconds pass before I hear it again. But it’s softer now, moving away from the stairs. Tossing the blankets off my legs, I quietly slip out of bed and place my copy of the new Sophie Samuels book on the nightstand. The last thing I remember before falling asleep was the swoony love story written by one of my favorite authors.

  I grab my robe and pull it on, tucking it tightly around me. My heart beats harder with each step I take. But gasp for air instead. I forgot to breathe during my race to safety. “Hello?”

  “Holden, this...is Missy Rivers. I need someone; there’s been a break in. ”The oxygen burns my lungs.

  “Missy?” he asks in disbelief. Holden knows me because of my connection to Hudson and Kingston. Every officer at the APD knows them. My ears strain, listening for anything out of the ordinary. The house is quiet. Eerily quiet. I stop at the top of the stairs and peer down into the darkness.

  I briefly wonder if it might be Alice returning from her date with Hudson. If it is Alice, she isn’t going to call out to me and let me know she is home. Even if she could speak, she would still do the opposite and try to be as quiet as possible, careful not to wake me. Since I don’t want to frighten the poor girl either, I tread carefully down the hall to the stairs. I stand for a moment at the top, listening. There is nothing. Maybe I was hearing things.

  Clink, clink!

  No, wait, what was that? I lean over the railing a bit and hear it again. I creep slowly down the stairs; my heart rate picks up a notch. I reach the bottom of the stairs. The air around me crackles and the hair on the back of my neck stands up. I stic
k my foot out and place it firmly on the wooden floor.

  “Alice, is that you?” I call out. My voice shakes with nervous energy.

  Thump!

  The sound of something falling makes me nearly jump out of my skin. I turn toward the noise and see a large black shape standing across the room. I freeze. Realizing the form is much too large to be Alice, but the house is too dark to make anything else out. I take a hesitant step back, but the intruder takes a step toward me.

  “Please, take anything, just don’t hurt me,” I choke as they move faster and closer. I feel their body collide with mine, pushing me back. I fall in slow motion, landing on my ass, but instead of falling with me, the intruder moves past me and into the kitchen. I hear a loud crash, feet crunching quickly on the gravel, moving away from me, and then it’s silent.

  I turn and scramble up the stairs on all fours. I pull myself up and run toward my room, closing the door behind me. Grabbing my phone off the nightstand, I run into the bathroom and lock myself in. My hands shake as I dial the police station.

  “APD, this is Officer Holden, how can I help you?” the masculine voice comes on the line. I open my mouth to speak but gasp for air instead. I had forgot to breathe during my race to safety.

  “Hello?”

  “Holden, this...is Missy Rivers. I need someone, there’s been a break-in.” The oxygen burns my lungs.

  “Missy?” he asks in disbelief. Holden knows me because of my connection to Hudson and Kingston. Every officer at the APD knows them. They’ve consulted on enough cases. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I whisper, knowing even I don’t believe the words as they leave my mouth. “Please, send someone quick.”

  “Are you alone in the house?”

  “I am now. The intruder knocked me down, and I’m sure they busted out my backdoor when they left,” I explain. The fire in my veins has begun to die down. My heart begins to level as well.

  “Where are you now?”

  “I’m upstairs locked in my master bathroom.”

  “I’ve got two black and whites in your area, Martinson and Coopers. Stay put until they knock on your bathroom door. Meanwhile, I will stay on the line with you until they arrive,” he tells me. “Do you need me to call someone while we wait? Isn’t your brother home?”

  “I’ll call him after you guys get here.” I try my hardest to sound calm, but I know my voice is still shaking too much to pull it off. The adrenaline pumping through my veins is the only thing keeping me from passing out from the shock of what happened.

  “Everything is going to be fine Missy,” he says softly.

  As much as I want to believe him, I can’t. How can everything be fine? Someone was in my house, getting ready to do only God knows what.

  Chapter Eight

  Late Night Heroics

  Kingston

  I groan as the piercing sound of a shrilling phone invades my sleep.

  What the fuck?

  I lift my head off the pillow to check the time, one forty. Whoever is calling better have a damn good reason for waking me up. I reach across the bed and lift the phone off the receiver. Yes, I still have a landline, and I’m damn proud of it, too.

  “Hello,” I speak groggily into the phone, my face smushed into my pillow.

  “King, it’s Gabe.” Shit, it’s the Police Chief himself, calling me at one forty in the morning. I sit up on my elbows, my mind instantly alert. “I’m calling because there’s been a break-in and I know with all the shit happening to you boys, you’re going to want to know about this. Especially since it was at Missy’s place.”

  “What do you mean? What the fuck is going on?” I spring up and out of bed at the mention of Missy and a break-in.

  “Missy called it in two minutes ago, and we’ve got two units headed there now. Holden’s got her on the line until the black and whites—”

  Gabe doesn’t get to finish his sentence, because I’ve already hung up and am headed out the door, throwing on whatever items of clothing I can find. Luckily, the first thing I grab is a pair of jeans, otherwise I’d walk up to the scene with my shit hanging out. That’s how many fucks I give at the moment.

  All I can think about is getting to Missy’s and making sure she is okay. Fuck, I didn’t even ask if she is alright. I don’t bother locking my door as I bound down the steps to my truck.

  It usually takes me six minutes to get to Missy’s two-bedroom home. Tonight, I make it there in record time. The two police units Gabe told me about are parked in the street, their lights flashing red and blue. I see four officers huddled around a smaller form. Missy. Slamming on the brakes, I put the truck in park and jump out to make my way up the walk.

  “Missy?” I call out, and she looks over at me; her green eyes are filled with angst as she stands and runs over to me, dropping her blanket to wrap her arms around my neck. I bury my nose in her hair and breathe in her scent. She shudders against me, but I know it isn’t because she is crying. No, it is relief to see me. I pull back to look at her face, but she loops her arms around my waist. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m good,” she whispers, placing her face against my chest. As far as I can tell, she isn’t injured. “A little sore but no worse for wear.”

  “Sore?” I ask, but before she can respond, one of the local officers, Kurt Martinson, interrupts the moment. My eyes narrow on him with irritation about the intrusion. He hands me the blanket she dropped, and I take it from him, tucking it closely around her.

  “Kingston.” He gives me a nod and I return it. “Missy, the ambulance will be here shortly. I know you said you’re not hurt, but we’d like you to get checked out anyways.”

  “Of course, Kurt,” I answer for her, knowing she’ll say otherwise. “She said something about being sore.”

  “It’s nothing,” she protests, trying to pull away from my hold, but I’m not having any of it. She’s going to get checked out. She might be a nurse, but I’m not going to take any chances. “I’m fine.”

  “What happened?” I ask, but neither person is quick to answer. Kurt tips his head. His concern for Missy is evident. I notice a brief flash of something else in his eyes, something I’m not okay with. Kurt likes Missy in a way that makes me want to pound his face.

  “As far as we can tell, someone was in the house with Missy. We can’t find a point of entry, but the intruder left in a hurry out the backdoor, leaving some damage behind,” Kurt explains and pulls out a pad of paper. He refuses to meet my gaze. Instead, his eyes caress Missy’s face. I tighten my hold on her, pulling her in closer. I don’t care where we are or who Kurt is, he needs to stop looking at my woman like that before I forget he is in uniform.

  She’s not your woman, though, my mind whispers, causing me to flinch internally. The words are true enough, but it’s not like I want things to be this way between us: platonic and tense as fuck. But it is the bed I made.

  “Missy, can you go through it one more time for us?” His voice pulls me out of my thoughts. I press my lips against her head, sending her some strength. She grips me tighter still and hasn’t loosened her arms one bit. She feels safe with me, which at the moment is all I can ask for.

  “I already told you what happened.” She sighs. “I was asleep and heard a noise downstairs. I thought it might be Alice coming in, so I got out of bed. I reached the bottom step, called out for her, and the next thing I knew, there was this black mass coming at me, fast. They pushed past me, knocking me onto my ass before tearing out the back door. I sat dazed for only a moment before tearing up the stairs and locking myself in my bathroom until you guys arrived.”

  “Can you think of any other details that might be helpful? You didn’t see the intruder’s face?”

  “No, they were wearing one of those ski masks; all I could see was their eyes, and even then it was dark,” she explains. I can hear the frown on her face from the tone in her voice. She is trying to remember, but the memory simply isn’t there.

  “Well, we’re
going to brush for prints, see what we can come up with.” Kurt nods while closing his pad and sliding it into his pocket. “You want one of us to call your brother?”

  “Um, yes, but he’s...on a date.” She sounds tired. I frown for a moment, confused by her explanation. Hudson is on a date? What the fuck?

  “I’ll give him a call, Kurt,” I offer as I hear the sound of an ambulance in the distance. Kurt looks around and runs his hand through his hair before turning toward the house. It seems like he wants to say something more, but he gets the sense I’m not too thrilled over his reaction toward her.

  The ambulance pulls onto the street, along with a fire truck. I lift her into my arms, tucking the blanket closer around her, and carry her toward the paramedics. Nick and Andrew meet us at the back of the ambulance, opening the door for a reluctant Missy. Andrew, a rookie medic, looks at her with excitement. I lift her into the back, and she sits on the gurney.

  “I’m going to call Hudson, then I’m going to head inside and see what’s going on.” Her green eyes meet mine, and all I want to do is erase the worry I see in their depths. I want to take away this night from her and give her peace of mind. I know in this moment I’m going to make this right and see that it never happens again.

  She turns to Andrew as he begins his routine checklist, and I pull out my phone, dialing Hudson’s number. I need to know if all of this has something to do with Alice and the man hunting her. I know Hudson will be just as concerned. We need to get this shit sorted.

  He doesn’t answer, so I shoot him a text.

  KC: Call me ASAP.

  I wait a moment but still get no response. I don’t know where he is, and I hope I’m not interrupting anything important, but this is about his sister and she needs him here. I send another text to him.

  KC: Missy’s place was broken into tonight.

  KC: Get your ass over here now.

  KC: Call me.