Lost Without You (The Lost Series Book 2)

by Tracie Douglas

  My phone rings seconds later. It is Hudson.

  “Where are you?” I don’t bother with pleasantries, connecting the call.

  “On my way home. What the fuck is going on? Is Missy alright?” he asks. I hear the concern in his voice.

  “She’s fine,” I tell him. There’s no point in waylaying his fears, though. “She’s shaken up. Said the fucker knocked her over trying to get out of the house.”

  “She was home when this happened?” he roars across the line.

  “She’s fine, Hudson,” I repeat, hoping he’ll hear me this time. He doesn’t say anything else, though, letting me know he’s heard me. “Where are you?”

  “I’m about ten minutes out,” he tells me, a bit calmer now.

  “Alice with you?” I ask.

  “She is,” he answers slowly.

  “I’ll see you when you get here.” I know he doesn’t want to hear any lip about our meeting yesterday, and I’m not about to rehash any of it, at least not now. Besides how he decides to deal with Alice and his feelings for her isn’t my concern. As long as it doesn’t get in the way of his assignment. I end the call and place the phone back into my pocket. I turn toward the front door and make my way up the walk. Kurt nods to me as I pass him; he’s scribbling away on his notepad.

  “Let us know if you see something out of the ordinary,” he calls out as I cross the threshold into Missy’s house. Nothing looks out of place until I walk into the kitchen. Two of the uniforms stand by the backdoor, photographing the damage. Fucker didn’t bother opening the door. It looks like whoever it was just barreled through it. It wasn’t a strong door to begin with, but damn, I can’t believe they walked away without any injuries.

  “Any sign of the intruder outside?” I ask the officers before crouching down to the ground to study the various shards of glass covering the floor.

  “Hey, King,” the uniform on the right greets me. Derek Coopers is one of the officers in the police department I call a friend. I’ve known him since I moved here and opened Cole Securities.

  “What do we have, Derek?” I ask, trying to keep the moment professional.

  “No sign of forced entry. Intruder exited the house through this door.” He shakes his head, placing a hand on his hip above his utility belt, and frowns at me. “How the fuck they got up after running through a fucking door is beyond me, but we found a trail that leads to the alleyway two houses over. They must have had a car waiting for him there.”

  Fuck, this isn’t good. It has to be that sick fuck Erik, the one after Alice. There is no one else who would do something like this, especially to Missy. This town knows who her brother is and who she calls family, namely myself and the other guys. Not even the most cracked-out crack head would be brave enough to take us on.

  All signs are pointing to this Erik character. I can only imagine what Hudson will think of all of this when he gets here. We need to keep a close eye on things and on Alice. I don’t need him going ape shit over this, not when I still need him on his case. Devlin could call at any moment.

  I know he’ll agree Missy needs to vacate the property until we can fix the damage and get a top-of-the-line security system installed. Besides, I’m sure he’ll have Alice back at his place tonight, which means Missy will need a place to crash. My cock jumps at the thought, but I have to tap it down. The idea of having her so close puts my body on edge.

  Yes, she’ll stay with me, but I’m not dumb enough to think anything else will ever happen. Our history speaks loudly, and it will continue to do so. Missy and I will never be anything more than what we are to each other now. Friends.

  *****

  We stand in front of her house, my arms wrapped around her as the chaos of the night swarms around us. The police are finally wrapping up their investigation. Hudson and Alice pulled away moments ago, but only after I assured Hudson I’d make sure Missy is safe. There wasn’t a direct point of entry detected, and while I don’t want to believe their theory, it is thought Missy may not have locked up the house before going to bed. Despite her saying she did.

  “You’re staying with me,” I tell her, not giving her the option to turn me down. I know she can call a friend and have a place to stay in no time, but I don’t want that. Not after tonight. The idea of her being somewhere I can’t get to her makes me sick to my stomach. I want her under my roof, in my guest room, safely tucked away, while the boys and I get her place squared away.

  She’s going to fight this and not because she doesn’t want me to be nearby. I know she wants me close. She’s reached for me all night, even when her brother was here. Besides the monster-sized bruise she’ll have in the morning, she sustained no serious injuries.

  “No, I’ll be fine here.” She pulls away and tucks the blanket closer around her body. Thankfully, the paramedics cleared her. She fought them every step of the way, even refusing a trip to the hospital.

  “You don’t have a choice. Hudson is ordering you a new security system in the morning, and Bear is going to stop by tomorrow to fix all the damage and replace the backdoor.”

  She walks to her front door before turning to me and cocking out a hip. Her green eyes are guarded. “I’m staying here, Kingston.”

  “Kurt, are we clear to head inside? Missy needs to pack a few things before we head out.”

  Kurt sticks his head out the front door for a moment before frowning. His eyes dart between us. He looks Missy up and down, his focus on her tits and ass, before his eyes settle on me. What the fuck? Did he just...

  “She staying with you?” he asks.

  “Excuse me?” Missy tries to cut in, but the glare I give Kurt tells him to keep his eyes on me and not the woman he was so thoroughly ogling seconds ago.

  “Yeah, Kurt, she’s staying with me.” I give him a warning with the tone in my voice. I restrain the urge to walk up to him and knock his ass out. The last thing I need right now is to get arrested for assaulting an officer. He tenses, reading my tone loud and clear, and even averts his eyes away from me.

  “I’ll make sure the boys at the station know to call you if we need anything else.” He turns and walks back into the house.

  “Um, hello?” she says loudly, but Kurt ignores her. She turns back to me and huffs. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Who in hell do you think you are?”

  “Go pack,” I say before walking past her into the house. She is going to need more than a day’s worth of clothing, and the sooner we get her packed, the sooner we can both find a bed to lay our heads down on.

  “I’m not staying with you.” She tosses the blanket off her shoulders and places both hands on her hips. Fuck, do I like seeing her this way. All the fire burning deep inside her makes me realize yet again how fucked up I was walking away from her all those years ago.

  “Where you going to stay then? You can’t stay here.”

  “Why not?”

  “It isn’t safe, and whoever that was in your house could come back.” I take a step toward her when I notice the fear once again clouding her eyes. She hadn’t considered the intruder might come back.

  “Do you...do you think they’ll come back?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know, which is why I want you to stay with me. Until we can get you set up and everything fixed. It’ll only be for a day or two.”

  “I can stay somewhere else.” She crosses her arms and rubs them for warmth. I pick up the blanket at her feet and wrap it around her, pulling her into me again. She doesn’t fight it.

  “Where else can you stay? Hudson’s? He’s got his hands full with Alice. You can stay with me. I have the room, and the house is big enough. Chances are you’ll be back home night after next anyways.”

  “King...I just don’t think it’s a good idea...”

  “Queenie, you haven’t quite figured this out yet, have you? Even if I have to throw you over my shoulder and walk home with you kicking and screaming in my arms...you’re staying with me.” She glares at me before turning around to stomp of
f.

  “The most...pigheaded...egotistical...asshole...I’ve ever known,” she mutters under her breath while she bounds up the stairs to pack a bag.

  I chuckle to myself.

  This woman and all her sass...what the fuck was I thinking?

  Chapter Nine

  Shockwaves

  Missy

  Someone broke into my house. With me inside, sound asleep in my bed. If I hadn’t heard the sound of a door closing, who knows what could’ve happened?

  I’m not the damsel-in-distress type, but fuck, it’s a scary thought. I don’t want to think about it, but I can’t help it. My thoughts spin in that direction no matter how many times I order them not to. I know I was lucky. Anything could’ve happened. I could have been shot, stabbed, even raped. I know what the world is filled with. I’ve seen it time and time again as it comes through the doors of the emergency room nightly. I don’t know what I was thinking, walking downstairs to investigate what I’d heard, but then again, I never expected to find an intruder.

  I toss and turn for the thousandth time in the queen-sized guest bed, cursing myself for letting Kingston talk me into staying with him. Not that he’s given me much of a choice. I just want to be in my own bed. My own space. I feel like an intruder in this house; even though I’ve known Kingston for years and spent many afternoons and evenings here, this isn’t my home.

  Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, I see I’ve only been in bed for less than an hour. Kingston went to bed soon after me. I heard his bare feet pad down the hallway past my door. The soft click of his bedroom door sent a jolt through my body and my nerves began to settle. I don’t know why I was nervous. Kingston and I have been friends for a long time, and despite our past, we’ve settled into our friendship with grace and acceptance. He’s one of my best friends and a good man with a big heart.

  I can’t say my feelings for him ever truly stopped, but I’ve learned over the years how to lock them away and ignore the way my heart picks up when I see him. I’ve learned control and how to slip on my mask when necessary. Sure, there have been times between us when things could have easily started up again, but we’ve come too far to fuck things up now. No matter how sexy I think he is.

  Fuck, don’t go there, Missy, my brain says, but my body responds differently as a small tingle begins to form in the pit of my stomach. No matter how much I try to think of him like a brother, my body refuses to cooperate, knowing the truth of us. I groan, shoving my face into the pillow next to me, stifling the sound. At least thinking about Kingston gets my mind off what happened tonight.

  What the fuck is going on with me? I’m beginning to feel like a jumbled mess of emotions, and I don’t like it. I’m not an overemotional ninny. Tonight’s events have shaken me harder than I initially realized.

  I throw back the covers, disgusted with myself and my thoughts. I need a cup of tea, and for once, tonight, I am going to give myself a break. I send a silent prayer of thanks, because Kingston reminded me earlier to pack my favorite tea. It was like he knew I’d need it.

  I leave the dark guest room, careful to be as quiet as I can. Waking Kingston is not something I want to do. I need a moment to decompress from everything. With my luck tonight, he’d probably come out of his room half naked, which is the last thing I need to see right now. I don’t need to think about running my fingers along the hard ridges of his abs or wonder how his dark chest hair would feel under my hands as I caress his defined pectoral muscles. I don’t need to think about what his body might feel like pressed against mine, hovering over me, the heat and smell of him consuming me.

  “Stop it, Missy,” I groan before turning on the stove top and placing the tea kettle over the fire. I guess I don’t need to see him half naked to think about those things after all. I turn on the cold water and splash my flushed face with it, and I order my brain to stop thinking about him entirely, praying it listens to me.

  From the very first moment I saw Kingston, I’ve been attracted to him, but he was married and I’m not that kind of woman. When we finally decided to try our hand at it, after the finality of his divorce, it was ruined by the events that happened to the team many years ago. It left a black mark on our friendship, and it has taken us years to get to the place we are now. Getting to know the man he became after such a tragic event wasn’t easy. He was deeply damaged, guilt ridden, and at times downright angry. But he didn’t give up. He kept going to therapy and working through all of it. Even though he broke my heart, I understood what was happening to him and I hated seeing him suffer through it.

  The low whistle of the kettle pulls me out of my thoughts, and I quickly turn the heat off and pull out a coffee mug to use. Kingston isn’t the type to have girlie tea cups in his cabinet, but maybe that’s something I should change. I’ve never had tea here before, but I wouldn’t mind it. After all, he does own a tea kettle, which, if I’m honest, looks like it’s never been used before.

  “Are you okay?” His raspy voice comes out of nowhere, startling me. I spill a little of the hot water from the kettle onto my hand. He crosses the room and takes the kettle from me, placing it down onto the countertop. His large hand clasps my burned one, his concerned eyes on the reddened skin.

  “You can’t sneak up on me like that,” I exclaim, trying to calm my racing heart. I pull my hand out of his and reach for my cup and tea bag, waving him off. I avert my eyes, trying to ignore the naked chest in front of me. Yep, nailed it, I think as my stomach hitches and warmth spreads through my body.

  “I’m sorry,” he says softly, leaning against the counter. He crosses his arms and smirks down at me. My knees quiver as I catch the look he gives me from the corner of my eye. “I thought you went to bed.”

  “I did. Couldn’t sleep.” I sip my tea, still avoiding the sight of him.

  I will not look. I will not look. I will not look.

  “You’re safe here.”

  I nod, wanting to tell him I feel safe, that it’s the other things, the other thoughts that kept me awake tonight. But I keep my mouth closed, afraid of what might slip past if I’m not careful. I don’t feel like further embarrassment tonight.

  “Talk to me.”

  I shake my head. Talking is the last thing I want to do right now with his golden skin so close and bare. Fuck, don’t think about his warm, spicy-scented skin and how much you want to inhale him.

  I sense his movement as he shifts toward me, his finger hooking under my chin, bringing my eyes to his. His dark orbs stare down at me, and I feel a twinge of warmth pool in between my legs. I clench my thighs together in response. No, no, no, no, no!

  “Don’t look at me like that.” His voice is thicker, deeper, filled with angst.

  “Like what?” My voice sounds rich and husky even to my ears. His nostrils flare in response and he steps closer. I lift an eyebrow and raise my mug to my lips at the same time, daring him.

  He smiles and takes the mug away. Setting it aside, he pulls me to him. I lift my hands to his bare chest, allowing myself to feel the heat of him underneath my fingertips and the way the dusting of chest hair feels under my hands. I lean closer, pressing my cheek to his chest, and he wraps his arms around me. Whatever has been building up to this moment fades as the reality of the night hits me full force. A loud sob pours from my body.

  “It’s okay, Queenie,” he murmurs against my hair, and I feel a warm tear snake its way down my cheek. “You’re safe now.”

  I shudder against him. The strength and the power of his body against mine do something to me. I don’t feel frightened in arms. I don’t feel weak. I feel strong and I like it. It’s as though I’m meant to be in his arms like this, and the thought fills me with trepidation. If things had turned out differently tonight, I wouldn’t be here with him in this moment. The truth of the situation nearly breaks me. I can’t hold back anymore. I need to know.

  “Do you ever think about it?” I whisper, trying to control the level of my voice.

  “About what?”<
br />
  “About us. What could have been?”

  “Queenie—”

  “I think about it sometimes, but tonight, I can’t stop thinking about it. About us.” I lift my face to his and watch the wonder in his eyes. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. I feel his body relax a bit before he opens his eyes.

  “I think about it.”

  “I understand why you walked away, Kingston,” I tell him, speaking words I have longed to say for years.

  “You do?”

  “You were broken and didn’t think I deserved broken.” He sucks in a quick breath, and I wrap my arms around his neck, trapping his face. “But you weren’t broken. Hurt, angry, grieving…yes, but never broken.”

  “You deserved more. You still do.”

  The honesty spills between us, and for the first time in years, I feel like I am looking into the eyes of the man I fell in love with four and a half years ago. Deep down I know he’s always been that man, only now he has a few more scars, inside and out.

  “Fight or flight.” He frowns, but I continue. “Tonight could have ended so differently if the intruder had decided to fight instead of fleeing. I wouldn’t have stood a chance.”

  “Don’t talk like that.” His eyes focus in on me, his voice thick with knowing.

  “We would never know.”

  “Missy—”

  “I want you, Kingston.” My voice comes out breathy, and I instinctively press closer against his body. “So badly.”

  “Missy—”

  “What’s stopping us?”

  “We can’t.”

  “We can.” I unlace my fingers and allow one hand to travel the length of his torso, stopping just shy of his already hard need. This is the thing about us I’ve never doubted; the sexual tension has always been there between us. Even when we began to pick up the pieces of our friendship, trying to put it back together.

  “Queenie—”

  “You want me, too.” I grind my hips against him. I feel his body tighten against me, his hands at my waist.

  “You’re in shock,” he whispers gruffly.