One Choice
Page 21
He focused back on the Word. Proverbs Thirty-One called to him. He started at verse ten and read about the virtuous wife. Most of those things Cahri couldn’t do, but whatever she did, she did for his good. She worked with Anaya, learning the running of the palace. Last week he’d spied her helping one of the staff's children, taking the time to encourage her in her reading.
He was overwhelmed with how much he loved his wife. His desire for her was secondary. She was what he wanted in a wife, a queen, a lover, and the mother of his children. Submissive, yet opinionated. Sweet and feisty. Funny and compassionate. Beautiful inside and out.
He put his Bible down and renewed his prayers for her. Matthias continued to search for her, as he hadn't reported back. He prayed for grace and wisdom to fall on his security officer, his friend.
A knock interrupted his prayer. His breath hitched. He glanced at the clock, one o’clock a.m. He swallowed.
Would it be good news or bad? It had to be about Cahri, or he wouldn't have been disturbed at this time of night. He took a deep breath and told whoever was there to come in.
****
Yesterday's nightmare came back to Cahri in a rush. Would he accept her or blame her? She stood staring at the door for a long time. Matthias waited behind her but said nothing.
Someone else stepped up behind her. A hand on her back. She hopped to the side away from the touch, squelching the scream which crept up her throat. Tears burned her eyes.
“He loves you. Whatever happened was not your fault, and he will still love you.” Anaya's words, whispered in Cahri's ear, were heaven-sent. There was no other way she could have known the trepidation Cahri felt.
Anaya knocked. Cahri stiffened and winced at the pain it caused her. She gripped the blanket tighter around her and walked forward when Anaya opened the door. She would know soon if what Anaya had said was true.
The door closed behind her, leaving Matthias in the hall. He'd promised he would have a guard with her at all times until Waseem was taken into custody.
“Cahri?”
She glanced up to see Josiah leaning against the side of the bed, holding his crutches. He started toward her.
Trembling gripped her body, and she had to tighten her grip on the blanket to keep it in place.
He stopped in front of her and pushed the blanket off her head. His fingers caressed the bruises on her face.
“I'm sorry, my wife. I should have protected you.”
She started to protest, but he shushed her and shook his head. At least he didn’t turn away.
“You’re safe now, Cahri. You can let go of the blanket.”
Fear coursed through her body. What would he say when he saw what she had been forced to wear? Would he blame her then? She stared up at him, trying to gauge his reaction, but his face was unreadable.
“I…” She dropped her gaze. “Just know I didn't have a choice,” she whispered. She released the blanket.
Anaya gasped behind her but said nothing. Cahri knew what she saw. She wasn't ready for Josiah to see that part yet. His gaze slid down and then returned to her face.
“Did he…?”
“No. He was going to, but Matthias called him away,” she whispered. “He beat me when I didn't cooperate, but nothing more.”
“Beat you? There’s more?”
“Josiah,” Anaya whispered. “There’s a lot more.”
“What do you mean?” Josiah asked, his voice hard.
“Turn around, Cahri. Let him see.”
Cahri stared at Josiah, tears brimming in her eyes.
“Turn around,” he instructed.
She did.
A sudden intake of breath and then a long sigh were the only sounds in the room except the ticking of the clock.
The warmth of his hand came close to her back, and she stiffened. She had to stifle the squeal of pain that wanted to erupt from her throat. “Please don’t touch me.”
“Anaya, get Mother and a camera, and call the doctor.”
Cahri twisted to face Josiah. Would he blame her now? She didn’t know — his back was to her as he returned to the bed.
Before she could work up the nerve to walk over to him, a knock sounded on the door. She bent down and picked up the blanket and wrapped it around herself once more. A moan escaped.
At Josiah’s bidding, Anaya and the queen entered and led her to the bathroom. They took a lot of embarrassing pictures, but she resolved to stand through them so Waseem could be punished. She could handle anything as long as Josiah didn’t leave her.
The doctor came and did a quick examination. She assured him the visible injuries were all of her physical wounds. Nothing could be done about the fear holding her in its grasp. He handed the queen some ointment and a bottle of prescription pain reliever.
With as much kindness as possible, they cleaned Cahri’s cuts. She clamped her teeth shut to keep from screaming every time they touched her. By the time they finished applying the ointment the doctor had instructed them to use, tears streaked her face, and her legs felt like jelly.
The two women slipped a loose satin gown over her head, braided her hair, and then helped her to the bed. Anaya rushed out to get a glass of water while the queen wiped Cahri’s tears with a clean tissue.
Cahri glanced around the room, but Josiah was gone. Maybe he conferred with Matthias and the king about how to catch Waseem. That brought some comfort.
She swallowed the pill and crawled into bed on her hands and knees. When she had settled on her stomach, the queen pushed the braid back over Cahri’s shoulder.
“Good night, my sweet one. Tomorrow will be a better day.”
Cahri waited for sleep, but it didn’t come for a long time, even with the pain reliever. Neither did her husband.
But Stormy came and snuggled next to her, providing a small measure of the comfort she needed.
****
Josiah had listened to his wife’s whimpers as his mother and sister tended her wounds. He couldn’t stand it anymore. After grabbing his crutches, he scrambled out the door toward his office. Maybe he could get to some of the work he’d neglected in the last few weeks.
He sat on the couch where he could prop up his leg with his laptop situated on his thighs. With an invoice in his hand, he entered it into the appropriate column, clicked another button to authorize a check, and then glanced at the invoice again. He stifled a curse when he realized he’d inverted two of the numbers on the check. He cancelled the transaction, reentered the correct amount, and then clicked out of the program. He couldn’t afford to make those kinds of mistakes, and his mind wasn’t on the work.
Anaya rushed by, heading toward the small kitchenette he’d had installed. A few minutes later, she went back in the other direction with a glass of water. She glanced at him but didn’t stop. Cahri must be ready to take the medicine the doctor had left for her.
Josiah glanced back at his computer screen, trying to decide what to do. He couldn’t go back to his room. Every time he looked at his wife, he saw his own failure.
Moments later, Anaya returned. “Why are you here? Cahri needs you.”
“No. She needs a husband who can protect her. That is not me.” He moved the laptop from his legs and positioned his crutches so he could stand. Once on his feet, he moved to look out the window into the dark night.
“She needs you, Josiah.”
“I said no. Leave me alone.” His words came out like a snarl, much harsher than he’d expected. He pivoted to apologize, but Anaya had left. He looked back out into the darkness, but his reflection in the window stared back at him. Mocking him.
You’re worthless. She trusted you to protect her and you failed. Again.
You failed.
You failed.
You failed.
Josiah swiveled away and worked his way down the hall to a guest bedroom. Once inside, he slid beneath the covers and prayed for sleep. But sleep didn’t come.
****
Cahri woke the next morning
with the sun shining her full in the face. She shifted her head to look at the opposite side of the bed. Empty. She lifted herself onto her elbows, breathing through the pain in her back, and glanced around the room through her swollen eyes.
She was alone.
A sliver of fear skittered up her spine. Was Waseem still out there? Would he come for her again?
She managed to sit on the edge of the soft bed without unbearable pain. Should she try to get dressed? Where was Josiah?
She slipped off the bed and headed to the bathroom. Memories of last night’s ordeal sent a shiver through her body. She faced the mirror over the sink. Her left eye was swollen and had an awful purple bruise. The same cheek sported black and purple splotches. She splashed water on her face, wincing at the sting, and then patted it dry.
Cahri stepped out of the bathroom and glanced at the clock, startled to see it was past ten. She couldn’t recall ever sleeping so late. Her stomach grumbled, reminding her she hadn’t eaten a full meal since yesterday’s breakfast.
Was it yesterday Waseem had taken her?
A knock sent her skittering back into the bathroom.
“Cahri, it’s Anaya. Can I come in?”
Inhaling to steady her heartbeat, Cahri responded. “Yes.”
“I’ve brought your breakfast. I hope you’re hungry. Cook has outdone herself this morning.” Anaya entered with a tray.
When she set it on the bistro table, Cahri gasped. Oatmeal, which Cook had refused to fix before, took up the center. A small plate with bacon and toast rested in the lower left corner. Orange juice, hot tea, and milk lined the top. And on the right side beneath her silverware was a handmade card. She knew who it was from, and tears stung her eyes. She had been teaching Cook’s daughter, Milani, to read, but the girl preferred drawing. The colors were just the ones she would use.
“Thank you. And be sure to tell Cook and Milani thanks for me.” Cahri started to sit at the bistro table then remembered she needed a few pillows. “I’ll be right back. Please don’t leave. Stay and talk with me for a little while.” I don’t want to be alone.
Anaya sat and Cahri returned from the sitting room with two plump pillows. She sat, prayed for her food, and began eating. About halfway through her oatmeal, Cahri noticed Anaya had remained silent, unusual for her sister-in-law.
“What’s going on that you don’t want to tell me?” Cahri took a sip of orange juice, winced as it stung her lip, and watched Anaya.
“Waseem is due back today with Minister Salim. Matthias plans to detain him without a lot of fuss, but that’s not what’s bothering me.” Anaya fiddled with a string on the end of her sleeve. She inhaled and stared across the room.
“Anaya, tell me.” What could be worse than what she’d gone through in the last two days?
Anaya inhaled again. “Minister Salim, my parents, and I are leaving for Perlise in a few days. As a rule, Matthias would travel with us, but he has requested to stay here. We will be gone for several weeks.”
“Several weeks?” Cahri inhaled through her nose and exhaled through her mouth. “I will miss you, but it’s not so bad. It will give Josiah and me time to be together.”
“About Josiah.” Anaya fiddled with the string again. “I don’t know if I should tell you this or not, but he asked to go with us. My father refused.”
“He wanted to leave me here alone?” Cahri struggled to breathe. “Umm.” She sniffed and gazed out the window through the sheers. She remembered Josiah’s reaction when he’d seen her wounds last night. “Thank you for telling me. Could I be alone now?”
Anaya walked across the floor, closing the door with a soft click. Tears flooded Cahri’s eyes as she peered at her half-eaten bowl of oatmeal.
He didn’t want her anymore.
Maybe he just didn’t want to do anything to hurt her.
Don’t kid yourself.
Why would he want her? She couldn’t do anything right. She couldn’t even escape.
She was worthless.
Cahri gave in to the voices and crawled back into bed. She was wrong earlier… there was something worse than what Waseem had done to her. The pain in her heart wouldn’t cause her to pass out, but it ached far worse and would last far longer. She closed her eyes, not bothering to squelch the tears that soaked her pillow.
****
Days passed in a blur for Cahri. She rose from the bed, ate, and spoke when Anaya forced her to do so. Otherwise, she spent her time sleeping or staring at nothing.
Josiah did not come.
Anaya quit coming. She’d said why, but Cahri couldn’t remember.
No one came. No one cared.
And it was her fault. She wasn’t good enough.
Chapter Thirty-One
“Your wife is dying.”
Josiah startled at Matthias’s whispered words.
“How can she be dying? Her injuries were not that severe, were they?”
“She’s dying of a broken heart.”
The accusation in his friend’s voice pierced Josiah. “What do you mean?”
“When did Anaya and your parents leave?”
“Three days ago.” Josiah knew because he’d asked his father once more to allow him to travel with them.
“She has not eaten, nor has anyone seen her since then. The door goes unanswered when the servants knock. The meals they leave outside remain untouched.”
Josiah struggled with the need to go to her, but it was better this way. He’d failed to protect her. She would survive. She was strong. She didn’t need him.
But you need her.
He pushed the thought from his mind.
“Check on her.” Josiah issued the command. Matthias stared at him for a moment then strode from the room.
****
Cahri struggled to open her eyes when a voice called her name. Who would bother her while she was trying to sleep?
A hand on her neck forced her head up. Cool liquid soothed her parched tongue. She licked her dry, cracked lips.
“Just a little at a time,” the voice said.
Soothing. But not Josiah.
She sank back into the safety of the darkness.
****
“How is my wife?” Josiah asked his chief of security.
“What do you care? You haven’t even been to see her since Waseem beat her.”
The hardest two weeks of his life. Josiah clenched his fists at his sides. “Watch your tone. You forget yourself.”
“Hard not to when I’m doing your job and mine.”
Josiah watched as Matthias took a deep breath, and squared his shoulders.
“She is recovering.”
“Good. Do you have anything else to report?”
“Waseem’s trial will commence as soon as your parents return. We await notification of their arrival, and then I will contact the appropriate nobles.”
“Excellent. If there’s nothing else, you may go.”
Josiah sighed. Their friendship had disintegrated since Waseem’s attack on Cahri. Matthias did his job and kept their communication to the bare necessities. Disapproval radiated off him.
Not only had Josiah lost his wife, but his best friend. But then he hadn’t lost his wife. He’d pushed her away. Ignored her. Avoided his failure.
****
Cahri opened her eyes to Matthias calling her name. He’d pulled her back from the brink of death. She’d gone to that cliff on purpose. There’d been nothing to stop her. No reason to stay in this life.
But in Matthias’s voice she’d heard God telling her He wasn’t done with her yet. It wasn’t her time.
She sat up and scooted against the headboard. He placed a plate in her hands as he’d done three times a day since she’d been able to feed herself again.
A breakfast of champions — toast and oatmeal.
Cook had fixed her oatmeal every day. She was getting quite good at it too. Cahri took a bite and then another, until the bowl was empty. Her appetite had returned in earnest.
“I’m hungry today.” She hesitated, looking out the window. “Do you think it would be all right if I went down to the garden? These four walls are starting to close in on me.”
“You’re getting stronger, but don’t go far or walk for long, or you will tire yourself too much.”
She was glad for his concern. “Thank you, Matthias. I don’t remember if I thanked you for rescuing me…” She stopped to gain control of her emotions. “But I wanted to thank you for that and for pulling me out of the dark place I retreated to afterward. I know I would have died without your intervention.” A tear slid past her defenses.
“It was my pleasure, Princess.” He shifted from one foot to the other. “I lo…” He grunted. “Be careful outside.” He whirled around and left.
****
Josiah watched as his wife wandered the garden. Stormy walked by her side. The cat acted more like a dog in recent weeks, never leaving Cahri’s side.
She seemed so peaceful in the daytime. He missed her. He’d gone into their room at night when she slept and just watched her. Her nightmares reminded him of his failure to protect her.
His leg had healed. He had a little weakness still, which meant he needed a cane. The exercises the doctor told him to do helped.
Along with the trial for Waseem, his parents spoke of the formal wedding. He avoided the subject as much as possible. They didn’t need to know he hadn’t been in his wife’s presence since her return, at least not while she'd been awake.