Essence of Desire

by Brenda Jackson

  Felicia’s face turned a darker brown before she cleared her throat. “Look, Trask. Maybe I did draw the wrong conclusions about your reasons for wanting to spend time with Austin for the holidays, and I apologize. But when it comes to Austin I can’t help but want to protect him.”

  “Of course you can’t and you should. He’s your son.”

  Felicia nodded. “And although you have the best intentions for wanting to help, it may cause more harm than good. Austin has already gotten attached to you. He’s never called anyone daddy before.”

  Trask frowned. He knew the situation with her first husband, but didn’t know much about the second one, other than that he had screwed around on her. “He didn’t call your second husband daddy?”

  “No. Charles preferred that Austin call him by his first name.”

  Trask opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it. He could give her an earful about what he thought about that tidbit.

  He didn’t have to say anything. Felicia clearly read the emotions that had crossed his face, but like him, she decided to leave it alone. “Anyway, Austin really believes you’re the daddy he’s asked for.”

  “And for a while I will be.”

  “But we’ll continue to make sure that Austin understands this is a temporary arrangement.”

  Trask nodded and released a deep sigh. “I don’t get it. I could have been any other man who dropped by tonight. Why did he take one look at me and think I was the one Santa delivered?”

  Felicia frowned. “Because for your information, Trask Maxwell, I don’t have men dropping by. Since I moved here nearly six months ago, there has never been a man who’s come to this house other than one of my family members.” She didn’t want to go into details about why she had moved out of her other home to this one and why she had not dated since then. “To Austin, it’s a rare occurrence to see a man here that he’s not related to. So naturally, he assumed you were sent by Santa.”

  Trask raised a brow. “What do you mean you don’t have men dropping by? You date, don’t you?”

  “No.”

  Trask looked at her as if she had gone foolish. “What do you mean by no?”

  “I mean just what I said. I don’t date and haven’t dated in nearly six months.”

  “Why?”

  “That’s none of your business.”

  “What if I said that I’m making it my business?” He took a step that brought him closer to her. “And the main reason is that tonight I got just the response I wanted to get out of you, so now you’re it.”

  “Your plaything for the holidays?” Felicia sneered.

  “No, my lover for the holidays, and I don’t like sharing. So whether or not you’re dating is my business.”

  Felicia opened her mouth to tell him just where he could put his business, but never got a chance to do so. Trask’s mouth swooped down on hers, effectively absorbing any sound she was about to make. His kiss was strong, sure, and sensuous as his tongue stroked, sucked, and soothed. Felicia’s legs didn’t feel quite so steady and her heart began beating three times its normal rate. Again, she felt powerless to do anything but return Trask’s kiss.

  Trask broke off the kiss. The look on his face at first was tender, and then arrogant when he said, “Yes it’s a very enjoyable experience when we do something other than bicker back and forth. You did agree to be my holiday lover, and I’ve never known you to go back on your word, Felicia.”

  He smiled at her glare. “Cheer up, sweetheart. This is the season to be jolly. Joy to the world, deck the halls, and all that good stuff.”

  Trask knew that, if given the chance, she would do more than deck the halls right now. No doubt she would deck him good. The look of anger on her face indicated as much. Remembering that she could throw a good right punch, he thought it was best to leave before she decided to do so.

  “Good night, Felicia. I hope your dreams are as pleasant as mine will be.” He then turned and walked out of her house.

  He couldn’t help but chuckle when he heard the sound of her door slamming shut behind him.

  Seven

  The first two weeks of being Austin’s holiday dad turned out better than Trask thought possible. For some reason he had expected trouble from Felicia, but she hadn’t done anything to cause any problems.

  As Trask stepped from the shower and grabbed a towel to dry off his body, a picture flashed in his mind. He kept seeing the look on Austin’s face when they had gone to pick out a Christmas tree. Seeing the happiness shine in the little boy’s features had only reinforced his belief that he had done the right thing by agreeing to be his holiday dad. And he knew that Felicia had seen it too. Maybe that was the reason she decided to lay low and not interfere. She tried getting out of going with them to pick out the tree, but Austin would not hear of it. The kid declared that getting a tree was a family affair, something a daddy, mommy, and child were to do together. So she relented and went with them.

  After they had returned to her house with what Austin claimed to be the perfect Christmas tree, Felicia announced she was fixing dinner and that Trask was welcome to stay if he wanted to. At first he hesitated. He of all people knew that Felicia wasn’t a wiz in the kitchen, but out of curiosity, and because he knew that deep down she really hadn’t wanted him to stay, he had accepted her invitation.

  It turned out that the surprise had been on him. The meal she had prepared--baked fish with crab-meat dressing, green beans, potato salad, and squash casserole--had been one of the best home-cooked meals he had eaten in a long time. And every meal he had shared with her and Austin after that had been just as delectable. Now that his mother had remarried and moved to Waco, he didn’t get as many home-cooked meals as before. And although he knew he would always be welcomed at Clayton’s parents’ home, he didn’t want to wear out his welcome. So, on occasion, he and Alex would meet at one restaurant or another for dinner. And when Alex, who was a private investigator, was out of town, he would grab something at a restaurant and take it home and dine in.

  Another thing that had surprised him was the relationship Felicia had with her son. She was fiercely loyal and protective, and no matter what she did, she always put Austin first. He knew the reason she was not dating had something to do with Austin, but he wasn’t sure why, and she wasn’t saying.

  Trask smiled when he thought of the little boy whom he had spent so much time with over the past two weeks. He was a swell kid and a pretty smart one at four years old. He also had good manners and was respectful of others. And to Trask’s surprise, for a four-year-old, Austin knew a lot about football and completely understood the game. When Trask had questioned Felicia about it, she rolled her eyes at him before asking what he had expected with the majority of her family being football fanatics.

  Trask couldn’t help but chuckle as he slipped into a pair of faded jeans. He had already checked the list Austin had given him to see what was in store for the coming week, which was the week leading up to Christmas. When he returned to Houston on Wednesday, he was to drive Austin around town so the two of them could check out the homes decorated with Christmas lights. On Thursday evening, he agreed to attend the Christmas program at church because Austin had a part in the play. On Friday, Christmas Eve, he would have dinner with Austin and Felicia. Then after Austin went to bed he would step into the role of Santa and help Felicia put together any toys that needed assembling.

  Trask had to admit he was looking forward to doing all of those things as much as Austin was, and that in itself was surprising. When he first began spending time with Austin, he had intended to do so only a couple times a week. But now he saw him practically every day that he was in town. He never would have thought that spending time with a four-year-old would be so enjoyable. But it was. Austin was fast becoming a special part of his life each day.

  After slipping his feet into his slippers, he moved out of his bedroom and headed toward the kitchen. When the doorbell rang, he frowned, wondering who his visitor cou
ld be as he walked toward the door.

  “Who is it?”

  “It’s Felicia.”

  Trask’s frown deepened. He wondered why Felicia was paying him a visit. As soon as he opened the door and took one look at her, he had his answer. Felicia was known to be a sore loser. It was evident from the way she was dressed, she intended to get back at him ... big time. She stood in his doorway, the epitome of temptation and desire.

  Trask crossed his arms over his chest and scanned her outfit, if you really cared to call it that. Her blouse already had the top button undone, showing a glimpse of the creamy skin above her breast. The skirt was so short that calling it a mini would have been too mild a term to use. For some reason it looked even shorter with the three-inch heels she had on. And to make matters worse, it was tight. Way too tight. Her outfit was a knock-’em-off-his-feet number, and already he felt himself losing his balance. He knew he had to get a grip.

  “What are you doing here, Felicia?”

  She smiled up at him. But Trask knew that smile. For two weeks Felicia Laverne had patiently waited for what she considered the right time and now she was out for revenge. Evidently, she hadn’t gotten over losing to him that night in her kitchen.

  He graciously moved aside when she didn’t respond but boldly sauntered into his condo without an invitation. His gaze immediately followed her as she went straight to his sofa and sat down, as if she had every right to be there, and as if it was an everyday occurrence for her to show up at his place dressed to seduce.

  “I came to make a delivery,” she finally said, crossing her bare legs one over the other and deliberately baring shapely thighs that he didn’t notice the paper bag she had placed on his coffee table.

  “Gramma Madaris sent you some of her bread pudding. She cooked a special batch for the holidays and knows just how much you enjoy it.”

  Trask watched as she then tugged at the hem of her tight miniskirt with the pretense of trying to pull it down. Her effort only raised the skirt a little higher. He drew in a long, deep breath as he continued to watch her. He had a feeling that things were about to get even more brazen. She tilted her head coyly, sweetly, and suggestively, and her smile widened when she looked up at him.

  “But I don’t think you’d enjoy her hot bread pudding as much as you would enjoy hot sex. Would you, Trask?”

  He hadn’t actually been listening to anything she had said since his mind and gaze were on something else. However, she had immediately grabbed his attention when she said something about …hot sex.

  He cleared his throat. “Excuse me? What were you saying, Felicia?”

  She uncrossed her legs and sat up straight on the sofa, giving him another luscious view of her thighs and making a dizzy sensation flow through him. “You aren’t paying attention, Trask. I said that Gramma Madaris asked me to drop this off for you tonight,” she said, pointing to the brown paper bag that was sitting in the middle of his coffee table. “She made a batch of her bread pudding for the holidays and wanted to make sure you got some.”

  She leaned back in her seat and crossed her legs again. Her lips curved and her lashes lowered when she asked coyly. “And you do want some ... don’t you, Trask?”

  That question caused every muscle in Trask’s body to become consumed with sharp currents of desire. Oh, he wanted some all right, he thought, knowing just where she was coming from--and more importantly, just where he wanted to go. His fingers itched to caress every part of her body, especially those curvaceous thighs she evidently enjoyed exposing to him. He would enjoy nothing better than to caress her legs, then slowly and deliberately move his hands higher as they traced a sensuous path toward...

  Felicia stood. “Well, I have to go.”

  Trask frowned. He was having one hell of a time trying to keep up with Felicia’s conversation. He was desperately struggling to keep pace with her, but he felt his pulse jump when she stood. The shapely beauty of her in a tight miniskirt made his body harden even more. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  A hot stab of uncertainty touched Felicia. When she had arrived moments earlier, she had hoped that Trask would take the bait. And from the look of him, she thought, as her gaze strayed slowly downward to the zipper of his jeans, he had taken it in a big way. But now, she had this gut feeling that she had bitten off more than she could chew.

  Her plan had been a simple one. She was going to get back at Trask for making her resolve weaken that night by doing the same to him. She had wanted to leave his condo tonight with the satisfaction that she had made him beg for her. The same way she had almost begged for him two weeks ago in her kitchen. But now the only thing she wanted to do was get out of here. Unfortunately, he stood between her and the door.

  She should have known she was headed for trouble when he had opened the door wearing just a pair of jeans. And when her gaze had followed the curly hair on his bare chest downward, past his navel until it dipped into his jeans, she had almost lost train of thought. Her body’s reaction to his chest had spurts of hungry desire spiraling through her veins. Her senses were enflamed by the scent of his freshly showered body. Some parts of his hairy chest were still wet. And the thought of rubbing her bare breasts against his damp chest sent a strong passionate flame through the soft core of her body. Any thought of being in control of any situation involving Trask would be just an illusion. He had too much sex appeal.

  “I asked where you think you’re going, Felicia.”

  His words, low and husky, reclaimed Felicia’s attention.

  “I’m going home. I just dropped by to make that delivery for my grandmother.” Felicia swallowed hard when Trask slowly walked over to stand before her. The look in his eyes was dark and completely sexual. The impact of his gaze was devastatingly strong.

  “No, I don’t think that’s why you just dropped by,” he said in a low, deep voice. “I think you dropped by for something else, too.”

  Felicia turned a darker shade of brown. “Something else like what?”

  He reached up and his finger touched the top button of her blouse, which was already undone. He watched her gaze follow the movement of his finger as it left that top button and moved to the second. With a flick of his fingers, he undid the button.

  “I think your main reason for coming over here was to try to use your feminine wiles on me. For some reason you thought that you could seduce your way out of our agreement.”

  Felicia drew in a deep breath when Trask’s fingers lightly touched her skin when they moved to the next button and undid that one too. “And you don’t think I can?”

  He looked up at her. His gaze darkened even more. “I don’t think you can what?”

  She licked her lips to moisten them. “Seduce my way out of our agreement.”

  He shrugged as he became enraptured with her scent. The enticing smell of her perfume surrounded him, pulled at him, and teased him. The buttons he had undone exposed a nice section of her creamy soft skin above her breasts. He wanted to taste her skin and leave damp kisses over the top of her body before moving lower.

  “You can try. But I may as well warn you, Felicia, it will be rather difficult. I’ve dreamed of you even more this week, and my need and want for you is still at an all-time high.”

  Leaning down he kissed the side of her neck. “If you’re here to play games with me, then don’t, because I won’t let you. Not tonight at least, because I want you too much.”

  The feel of Trask’s tongue against her skin caused every pore in Felicia’s body to surge with passion. The feeling also made her head spin. “I wanted to be the one in control. I wanted to hear you beg,” she confessed silkily and desperately, as she leaned closer toward Trask. Against her will, her heart pounded as desire began consuming her.

  “Then you’re not listening very well, sweetheart,” Trask said in a low, intimate whisper. “Because I am begging.” Pulling her into his arms, he said. “Pay attention because my body is begging hard for you. And you are in control, Feli
cia, because I’ve never felt so out of control in my life.”

  Trask’s lips captured Felicia’s at the same time his hands splayed wide across her backside, bringing the lower parts of their bodies closer. He wanted her to feel just how hard his body was begging for her. He didn’t want any doubt in her mind about just how much he wanted her. A part of him wondered why on this level, this very intimate level, they were on the same accord, and they had the same wants and desires. There was no time for cross words or animosity. There was only time for satisfaction.

  Trask’s body throbbed in heat when he continued to kiss Felicia with a fire that blazed out of control. Suddenly, he picked her up in his arms. “This time there won’t be any interruptions, sweetheart.”

  No sooner had the words left his mouth than his doorbell rang.

  “Who is it?” Trask yelled out at the top of his voice, annoyed at the unexpected and unwanted interruption. If his visitor was Alex, he would literally kill his brother for his bad sense of timing.

  “Trask, it’s me, Cherie. I apologize for not calling first, but I brought you a present,” a soft female voice said on the other side of the door. “If you’re busy, I can come back later.”

  “Cherie! Who’s Cherie?” Felicia hissed as she scrambled out of Trask’s arms. “You had the nerve to tell me you don’t like sharing, but you expect me to?” she asked, stomping to the door and snatching it open before Trask could stop her.

  A surprised Cherie stood on the other side of the doorway and faced a fuming Felicia. “No, he isn’t busy, Cherie. He’s all yours.” She then walked past the woman.

  “Felicia, come back here!”

  Ignoring Trask when he called out to her, Felicia kept walking.

  Eight

  “Man, I have a serious problem.”

  Clayton’s features did not show any surprise at Trask’s statement when he looked up from the television set and met his best friend’s gaze. “I figured as much when the Steelers made that third touchdown, and it didn’t get any sort of reaction from you.”