Essence of Desire

by Brenda Jackson

  Michelle had often heard the best place to find inner peace was on the water. And she needed that. She would be the first to admit that ever since that night Royce had shown up to go clubbing with her and detested her outfit, she had found an inner peace which was surprising since Royce hadn’t changed his approach with her. He was still the strong-willed alpha male.

  When they decided to stop and rest against a rail to look out over the darkened ocean, Michelle couldn’t help studying Royce’s handsome face. A face that could make her pulse rate increase. She believed what she’d said earlier. He could easily pass for a cover model. He was a man who always appeared to be confident in his masculinity. He was highly intelligent and well versed in a number of subjects. He also possessed great people skills, which he readily displayed when it came to strangers.

  During dinner they had sat with a couple from Houston, the St. Johns, who were on one of the two honeymoons they were taking. Once the ship returned to New York they would be flying out to Beijing to enjoy two weeks there before returning to Houston. Drey St. John was a private investigator and his wife Charlene was a forensic scientist. It didn’t take much to see the couple was truly in love, and Michelle couldn’t help noticing how comfortable they were with each other.

  “You’re quiet,” Royce said, looking down and meeting her gaze.

  She smiled while thinking whatever cologne he was wearing, he was wearing it well. It was a masculine and robust scent that made her enjoy taking a whiff of it each time he got close.

  “Umm, I was just thinking about that couple we met at dinner, the St. Johns, and how happy they seemed to be together. Reminds me a lot of Jordan and Dominique.”

  “Marriage agrees with some people,” Royce said, as if making an observation.

  “Yes, it does,” she agreed. There was no need in asking what he thought about marriage and if he saw it in his future. There was no way he did because men like Royce preferred hookups. He wasn’t looking any more for a wife than she was for a husband.

  “How was the time you spent at the spa?” he asked her.

  She sighed dreamily. “The massage was wonderful. The man had a way with his hands.”

  “Not sure I want to hear about that since I prefer being the only man who put his hands on you.”

  Michelle didn’t say anything. Had it been any other man she would have been quick to point out that she decides who put their hands on her; especially since they weren’t in an exclusive relationship. At least she didn’t assume they were. She would be the first to admit that they had been seeing each other steadily for the past two weeks. She was getting comfortable with him showing up at her office to take her to lunch, dropping by her place with dinner, spending his evenings with her, and his nights, making love to her all night long.

  Now with his comment she couldn’t help but wonder how he saw their relationship. Did he see it as the beginning of something exclusive? She could tell the St. Johns had assumed they were a couple and would probably have been surprised to discover they had separate cabins on the cruise.

  “You’ve gotten quiet on me again, Michelle.”

  She glanced up and saw him watching her intently. With any other man she would be the one defining just what their relationship was, so why was she slipping in that area of control she’d always had? For the first time since she could remember, she was feeling unsure of herself and she didn’t like it.

  She swallowed nervously and then said. “I need to know something, Royce.”

  “What?”

  “How do you see our relationship or do you see a relationship at all?” she asked carefully.

  He reached out and captured her chin in the palm of his hand and said in a low and husky voice. “Yes, I certainly see it as a relationship, one that’s trying to take off but at the same time cautious of the bumps and bruises along the way.”

  “And you think there will be bumps and bruises?”

  His sensual chuckle flowed through the night air. “Yes, only because I’m dealing with Michelle Kincaid, a woman known for her dramatic flare. A woman who likes total control.”

  “And what about you? A man who likes women. A man who’s always said, from what I’ve heard, that he wouldn’t settle down with one woman if it killed him.”

  He moved a step closer and whispered. “Men can change their minds when it comes to women; especially if they meet one who they think is their fantasy girl, one who can be all things to them. Besides, there comes a time in a man’s life, I guess in a woman’s life as well, when they have to think about settling down. The chase and hunt sort of wears thin, loses its appeal. Flirting isn’t the high it used to be and making a conquest becomes the same-o, same-o.”

  He sighed deeply and then said. “But not to sound as if I’m rambling on and so forth, I think I need to show you better than tell you as to how I see our relationship. Come to my cabin with me now for a demonstration.”

  Heated desire flooded Michelle’s chest and a delicious shudder of anticipation ran up her spine. When Royce extended his hand out to her, she took it and the moment they touched, she felt something deep and elemental stirring in the pit of her stomach.

  He continued to hold her gaze with hooded dark eyes and then as if he could read her mind, feel her heartbeats, understood her shudders, he leaned closer to her and said, “Trust me.”

  He was asking something of her that she had never given another man. Trust. At least not completely to the point where she would turn her happiness over to him. If it had been any other man she would have told him where he could take his trust and shove it. But she felt herself wavering under the sensuous vibrations emitting from Royce.

  Holding tight to her hand he led her off the upper deck toward the elevators that led to their cabins.

  Eleven

  The only thing on Royce’s mind when he closed the door to his cabin and turned to look at the woman who was standing in the middle of the room, was how he was going to eloquently convey to her with his actions how much she had come to mean to him.

  Just how much he loved her.

  Sex between them had always been good. Off the charts. But this wasn’t about just great sex. It was about feelings and emotions. It was about making love in a way where she would know how he felt without any doubt in her mind and heart.

  Drawn to her like a magnet, he moved away from the door and came to stand in front of her. “Making love this time will be different,” he said, trying to explain.

  She held his gaze. “Different in what way?”

  “You will have to determine that, Michelle. I just want you to feel everything I do to you. Actually feel it.”

  He could tell by her curious expression that she didn’t understand but she would. Soon. Without saying a word he began undressing and she watched every move he made, observed with dark eyes every stitch he took off. When he was totally naked, he saw her eyes lower to his engorged erection, standing firm, hard, ready like it had a mind of its own. In a way, it did.

  “This is yours,” he said in a hoarse whisper. He saw the widening of her eyes and knew why. Not many men would tell a woman that part of him belonged to her but he would because from this night forward, he wanted her to know it.

  She didn’t say anything, instead she begin to undress, slowly removing her own clothes, taking more time to do so than he had. But when she was completely naked, he couldn’t help but smile when she backed up towards the bed and without waiting for him, she eased down and slipped between the covers. He didn’t need a verbal invitation. Her gaze said it all. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. But tonight, whether she knew it or not, she was going to get more than she bargained for. She was going to get all that he could give.

  He slowly moved toward the bed and placed a knee on it to pull her into his arms. Not only did he kiss her like a man kissing a woman for the last time, but he also ran his hands all over her, in a totally possessive way and thinking while doing so that she was his, totally and completely. No ma
tter what, or how much drama she wanted to bring into the relationship, he would weather the storm, hold his ground when he needed to, deliver a firm hand when he must, and love her the way he could only love her. With his entire being.

  He pulled back, separating their mouths to whisper. “Lay on your stomach.”

  She did as he asked without any hesitation and then he straddled her backside, lining his knees on each side her thighs. This was one of his favorite positions when making love because he could go deep within her, hit her hot spot, feel every inner muscle as they clenched him, drawing everything out of him. And tonight he wanted her to have it all. He wanted her to feel his release shoot inside of her; bathe her with his thick substance, flood her womb, something he had never done to another woman.

  ”Are you on the pill, Michelle?” he asked, leaning forward to place kisses in the center of her neck and back.

  “Yes,” she said barely able to get the words out. “Why?”

  “Because if it’s all right with you, I don’t want to use a condom tonight. I want to let go inside of you.”

  She lifted her head to glance at him over her shoulder. Their eyes connected and he knew what he was asking and more importantly, what he was saying. He wanted unprotected sex, which meant he wanted to share something with her he hadn’t shared with any other woman. No man in his right mind would willingly take the risk. But he would, with her, only if she would let him. It was her choice. Her decision.

  “Is it all right, Michelle?”

  Michelle clenched her inner muscles when the impact of what he wanted to do stirred a tingling sensation between her legs. He wanted to get as intimate with her as a man could get with a woman, to mate with her in the most primitive way, with nothing held back. Not for the purpose of making a baby but for the sole purpose of letting her know that he was fully hers. From this night forward.

  “Yes, that’s all right.” The impact of what she was saying, what she was giving in to, touched her deeply and she instinctively spread her legs and raised her bottom off the bed slightly in blatant invitation.

  He took it and supporting his weight on his arms, he covered her body with his as he moved even more intimately between her thighs. “Ready?” he asked when the head of his shaft was there at the entry of her womanhood.

  “Yes.”

  And with one deep thrust he penetrated her and sighed deeply when he came to the hilt inside of her. When she began to wiggle a bit, he said. ”No, baby, let’s savor the moment.”

  And they did. He wanted to experience the feel of being inside a woman unprotected, to feel her hot, moist muscles hold him in, clasp him tight. Emotions, more powerful than he’d ever known flowed through him, sank to his bones and capitalized on his love, making him even more aware of her as a woman. His woman.

  His mate for life.

  He reached down and tightened his hands on her thighs in a firm grip, tilted her bottom back at an angle for even deeper penetration. Then he began moving inside of her, slow at first, pulling out and then pushing all the way back in. Her inner muscles clenched him tight with every retreat and reentry. Over and over again. And when she tilted her head around to him, he took the mouth she offered.

  Their tongues mingled in a frenzied mating, stirring even more passion, fueling more desire. He picked up the pace, modified the rhythm of their bodies, kept their mouths locked as they became one, their movements sensuously fluid, while the strokes filling her became even more powerful and charged.

  And then he felt it, muscle-deep spasms that began at his toes and moved upward and when they touched his sex buried deep inside of her, his entire body began to detonate. His throat tightened the moment his body exploded. He quickened his pace, deepened his thrusts and when she tore her mouth from his and let out a deep moan, he knew that even if he’d worn a condom, all of his very generous release would not have been contained in latex. Not this time.

  He heard his name flow over and over from her lips while he continued shooting inside of her seemingly nonstop and knew their bodies had never ever before been at such a passionate moment. She arched her back and he closed his eyes, held her tight as love flowed through him; as the very essence of his desire flowed from him to her. Coating her womb. Uniting them. Binding them. Forging them in a way he’d never thought possible.

  A short while later with his front spooning her feminine curves, he felt the heat of her backside against his stomach, their legs entangled, their minds clear, totally sated and bodies still connected, they surrendered to sleep.

  ***

  Royce knew the exact moment Michelle had awakened. He glanced over at her and the glow from her eyes told him she had enjoyed their night together. He held out his arms and she shifted across the mattress to him and he wondered how she had gotten so far away from him during the night.

  “I need to take a shower,” she said.

  He wanted to take one with her but the stall wouldn’t accommodate the both of them the way he’d like. Next time they would get a suite. “You’ll take a shower after this,” he whispered and then he was making love to her all over again.

  ***

  The sound of a cell phone woke Royce. Recognizing the ring-tone as not his own, he pushed up in bed and heard the sound of the shower to remember exactly where Michelle had gone off to. He grabbed her phone from where she had placed it beside his on the nightstand, and saw it was her office calling. He clicked it on. “Yes.”

  “Michelle?”

  He recognized her secretary’s voice. “No, Jill, this is Royce. Michelle is unavailable right now. Is there something I can help you with?”

  “I just wanted to let her know about what’s going on with one of our bookings, Bare All Resort. They’ve been in the news and now we are getting some cancellations.”

  Royce nodded. Something like that was bound to happen. But still, there was nothing Michelle could do about it, especially not now while out on a cruise. He wanted them to enjoy their time together without worrying about anything going on in Orlando.

  “I’m aware of everything going on with Bare All Resort and will keep Michelle abreast of it,” he said, knowing he wouldn’t be doing so until the end of the cruise.

  “Okay, thanks. Goodbye.”

  “Goodbye.”

  He clicked off the phone and placed it back on the nightstand. He intended to dominate all of Michelle’s time and thoughts for the rest of the cruise. What was going on back in Orlando would be the last thing on her mind. He would make sure of it.

  Twelve

  “Did you enjoy spending time with me, sweetheart?”

  Michelle glanced over at the man standing in her living room. They had just walked into her home, coming straight from the airport. He had been kind enough to help bring her luggage inside. She had taken two suitcases to his one.

  For as long as she lived, she would never forget the last five days she’d spent with Royce. Everything had been simply wonderful. “Yes, I had a wonderful time. Thanks for inviting me along,” she said and meaning it.

  “Anytime. Let me grab your last piece of luggage out of the car.”

  Michelle watched him leave to go back outside thinking that the first night in his cabin had set the pace on how things would be for them. Their days had been spent having fun with other couples they had met or by themselves. She had enjoyed all the sightseeing and shopping she’d done in New Brunswick where they had walked hand in hand through the shops and browsed a number of community festivals that were being held close to the pier. Before returning to the ship they had eaten lunch at one of the oceanfront cafés.

  She had recalled studying about Nova Scotia in school, mainly about how the Underground Railroad has brought escaped slaves seeking freedom to the Canadian township. It was a place rich with beauty, heritage and culture. And their seacoast beaches with towering cliffs were simply breathtaking.

  When Royce returned she would ask him if he wanted to go someplace to grab lunch later after he’d gone home and g
otten settled. The sound of her cell phone interrupted her thoughts. She pulled it out of her purse and immediately answered it when she saw it was Jill. Since her secretary hadn’t contacted her during the entire trip she figured everything must have gone smoothly.

  “Yes, Jill?”

  “Michelle, hey, welcome back. How did things go? I’m surprised I didn’t hear from you.”

  Michelle chuckled. “Things were great and why would you hear from me when I knew you could handle things without me.”

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence but a few people did call to cancel after they heard the news.”

  Michelle lifted a brow. “What news?”

  “About the Bare All Resort. It’s been in the papers. Someone who worked there had been taking photographs and posting them on the Internet.”

  “What!”

  “Yes, can you believe it? There’s a FBI investigation going on and so far it seems the owners had no knowledge of what one of their employees was doing.”

  Michelle signed deeply, angry someone would do something like that and a little agitated that Jill hadn’t contacted her to tell her about it. This was major since she had a number of bookings for that resort. “Jill, I wished you would have called to tell me about it.”

  “Actually, I did. I called you on Tuesday morning on your cell phone. Mr. Parker answered and said you were unavailable and that he was aware of what was going on with the resort and would let you know.”

  Michelle blinked, surprised. “Royce said that?”

  “Yes. He evidently forgot to mention it.”

  Anger seeped into Michelle’s pores. “Evidently.” When she heard Royce coming back inside, she said. “Look, Jill, I’ll call you later. I’ll be headed over to the office later to see how many bookings I’ve lost.”

  “Not too many. The ones who canceled are first timers. The others, the ones who have been there before believed the owners didn’t have knowledge of what was going on and plan to go back,” Jill was saying.