Essence of Desire

by Brenda Jackson

  “Thanks.” She clicked off the phone and was putting it in her shirt pocket when Royce walked back in.

  “How would you like to go over to my place and help me unpack?” he said, smiling as he sat her luggage down by the sofa.

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “And how would you like to tell me why you didn’t tell me about Bare All Resort? Jill said she called.”

  “She did but it was old news by then. Jordan had called me the night before,” he said calmly.

  Michelle’s head begin spinning. “Hold up. Time out. Why would Jordan call you about them?”

  “Because he knew I had agreed to go there with you later this year and I wanted him to check out the place, to make sure it was okay. That’s when he found out they were under FBI investigation.”

  She moved her hands from her chest to her hips. “And just when did you find that out?”

  He shrugged. “Around an hour or so after the ship left New York’s port. I was going to tell you but figured there was nothing you could do about it anyway and I didn’t want to ruin your vacation.”

  Michelle breathed in deeply. “And why didn’t you tell me that Jill called?”

  “I forgot. If you remember when you came out of the shower we got busy doing other things and then we had to hurry and get dressed to meet with the St. Johns for breakfast.”

  “You had three other days to tell me, Royce.”

  “Yes, I didn’t think of it. Had it been something urgent, I would have told you immediately. To be honest, I hadn’t planned to mention anything to you until the end of the cruise. When I spoke with Jordan he told me about the investigation. I figured he would have called back if it needed our immediate attention and when he didn’t, I knew it wasn’t anything that couldn’t hold until you got back.”

  Michelle couldn’t believe what he was saying. Who gave him the right to make decisions for her? To handle things on her behalf? He had some nerves. What he’d done displayed such blatant arrogance. “You had no right to make decisions regarding me, Royce. I should have been told what was going on?”

  “There was nothing you could have done.”

  He had stated it so calmly, so matter-of-factly that Michelle had to breathe in deeply to retain her composure. And the fact that he had folded his arms across his chest, showing all his muscles, and standing in that position with his feet braced apart that she found so damn sexy, wasn’t helping matters.

  What he’d done was the one thing she would not tolerate from a man, thinking he could take charge of her, her life, and her business. “I think you should leave.”

  Her request surprised him. “Leave?”

  “Yes. Things won’t work between us, Royce. I shouldn’t be surprised by your actions. It’s just the kind of thing I can’t tolerate; a man assuming he knows what’s best for me.”

  “Was it wrong for me to want you to have five uninterrupted, trouble-free days with me, Michelle? If you do then I apologize. But if the tables had been turned, I would have given them to you. I plan on giving them to you when we go on our little get-together in a few months.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Don’t you think I see what you’ve done? You had Jordan check out the place hoping he would find something so you could have an excuse not to go. Well, it seems you hit gold. Now you don’t have to worry about taking me anywhere.”

  “That’s not how it is, Michelle.”

  “Isn’t it? It really doesn’t matter. You had no right to make decisions for me. Please leave.”

  For a moment she thought he would not adhere to her request and then he turned and headed toward her door.

  Thirteen

  Michelle slid her fingers into her ears and frowned at her sister. “I refuse to listen to what you have to say Dominique. Royce was wrong.”

  Dominique rolled her eyes. “Will you stop acting childish for a second and take your fingers out of your ears.”

  It was only when Michelle took her hands down did Dominique continue. “Okay, I admit Royce should have mentioned something to you about it, but why can’t you give him the benefit of the doubt? There was nothing wrong with him wanting you all to himself for a few days.”

  “In my opinion, there was. That just goes to show what a domineering man he is,” Michelle snapped.

  “The kind you can’t tolerate.”

  “Right and he probably was glad that it happened so he can get out of taking me to that nudist camp like he promised.”

  “Now, I know for a fact that’s not true since he told Jordan to check out another place that the two of you can go to.”

  Michelle was surprised to hear that, but still…Royce had no right doing what he did. It just showed what a controlling man he was.

  “Must have been some five days.”

  Michelle frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  “Your actions are of a woman who’s scared and running. I know you, Michelle. I know you like a book. Granted what Royce did deserved a tongue lashing, which I’m sure you gave him. But all this other drama is happening for a reason. You know what I think?”

  Michelle reached out to grab the bottle of salad dressing to pour on her salad. “Not interested in what you think.”

  “I’ll tell you anyway. I think Royce got next to you on that cruise. You enjoyed his company. You enjoyed him. Now you’re back and you need a reason to put distance between you and this incident just happened to fall right in your hands.

  Now it was Michelle’s turn to roll her eyes. “That’s crazy.”

  “Is it?”

  “Yes,” Michelle said, almost too quickly.

  “Umm, I don’t think so. And you’re right, it doesn’t matter what I think, but whether you admit it or not, you’ve fallen for the guy. Trust me, I know how it is to fall for someone and not want to put your complete trust and faith in them. You know how things were with me and Jordan. But for you it goes even deeper since you have control issues.”

  Dominique paused a second and then said. “I want you to do me a favor.”

  Michelle met her gaze. “What?”

  “Think about all that’s happened, including the time you’ve spent with Royce, not just on the cruise but also the weeks leading up to the cruise when the two of you were starting off in the relationship. Think about it and decide if what he’s done is enough to make you not want to escalate things to a higher level. Personally, I think it’s not.”

  “Doesn’t matter.”

  “I think it does matter, Michelle. You are so afraid that being in love with him will strip you of this “woman power” you’re embellishing. In my opinion being in love will enhance it. If only every woman was lucky enough to find a man to give them that much attention, want them all to themselves and not have to worry about competing against Monday Night Football. I can think of a number of other things you can complain about, but having a man who wants you all to himself shouldn’t be one of them.”

  ***

  Three nights later Michelle returned home from having the weekly dinner at her grandparents’ house. She had been tempted several times to ask Jordan about Royce but couldn’t bring herself to do so.

  She walked into her bedroom, slipped off her shoes and grabbing the remote off the bed, she switched on the television. Okay, so she missed him and was surprised he hadn’t at least tried contacting her if only to see how she was doing. She hadn’t seen him since Saturday. That was five days ago.

  But then, in all honesty, what did she expect. He might have decided to put distance between her like she was doing him. It wouldn’t be the first time they had avoided each other. It wasn’t like she really cared.

  She threw her purse on her dresser not able to deny her feelings any longer because she did care. She cared a lot because she could now admit that she had fallen in love with him. And she could also admit that it wasn’t so bad having a man who was just as dominating as she was. A man who liked being with her, who wanted her to himself; a man who wanted to look out for her. A
man who would even go so far as to agree to go with her to a nudist camp.

  Deciding she wanted to see Royce, this very second, she grabbed her purse off the dresser, slipped back into her shoes and headed toward the door. She reached it at the same time the doorbell rang.

  Her heart leaped in her chest at the thought that her visitor could be Royce. Chewing nervously on her bottom lip, she said. “Who is it?”

  “Royce.”

  She couldn’t help but smile at the relief that she felt. When she opened the door, he stood there, dressed in his signature business suit and as always, he looked good. Sexy.

  “Royce.”

  “Michelle. Were you about to go someplace?”

  She swallowed. “What makes you think that?”

  “You have your purse in your hand.”

  “Oh.” Instead of answering she decided to ask. “What are you doing here?”

  “I worked late and was on my way home and was thinking about you, wondering how you were doing.”

  “I’m doing fine,” she lied. “What about you?”

  “Miserable.”

  Love surged through Michelle. Why did he have to be so friggin’ honest, she couldn’t help but think. His response made her want to be totally honest as well. “Then you might as well come in so we can be miserable together.”

  She saw surprise leap into his eyes. She took a step back and he entered. “So, you’re miserable, too,” he asked, closing the door behind him.

  She kicked off her shoes as she moved toward the living room, knowing he was following behind her. “Yes, my lover and I had a fight and I hadn’t heard from him in five days,” she said dropping down on the sofa after placing her purse on the coffee table.

  “That’s not nice of him.”

  “It’s a long story and I rather not go into all the details, other than to say that I really feel bad about it, but don’t know how to tell him. I was on my way over to his place just now to see if I could patch things up with him. You see, I’m a woman with control issues. I truly do have a problem with men being bossy or domineering.”

  He nodded as he sat down in the chair opposite hers. “Have you discussed your issues with him?”

  “I really don’t have to. He knows me,” she said with confidence in her tone.

  “So he knew you had issues before the two of you hooked up?” he asked, leaning back in his chair.

  “Hell, yeah.” She chuckled. “You should have been there the first time we ever made love. It was quite an adventure.”

  A sexy smile touched his lips. “I bet it was.”

  “I can have an orgasm just thinking about the memories,” she said almost breathlessly. “That’s when I realized he was dangerous,” she went on to say.

  He lifted a brow. “Dangerous in what way?”

  “Dangerous to my heart.” She paused a minute and then said. “I knew after that very first night with him that if there was any man on this earth who could make me fall in love, then he would be the one.”

  Royce held her gaze for a long moment and then asked in a deep, husky voice. “Was your theory right? Was he capable of making you fall in love with him?”

  She couldn’t help but smile. “Yes. Big time.”

  She then got up and slowly strolled over to where he sat and slid into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, looked into his eyes and said. “I didn’t want to fall in love with you, honestly I didn’t. But I did. I’m not going to be the easiest woman in the world but you’re stuck with me. That is, if you want me.”

  A serious expression stole into Royce’s features. “Baby, not only do I want you, but I’m in love with you too, and I promise in the future not to be so bossy, domineering and-”

  Michelle reached out and pressed her finger to his lips. “No, don’t change. I love you just the way you are.”

  And to prove her point, she leaned forward to kiss him.

  Epilogue

  Eight months later

  “Will you stay still for a minute while I put you on some more lipstick. You keep licking it off. Don’t worry, the wedding won’t start without you,” Dominique teased with a huge smile on her face.

  Michelle rolled her eyes. “I don’t know why on earth I let you and Mom talk me into having a wedding. Had it been left up to me, I-”

  “I know. You would have gotten married at a nudist camp. I am so glad you changed your mind about going to a place like that.”

  Michelle laughed. “Who said I changed my mind? I just decided to place it on the back burner for now, but that doesn’t mean I’ve totally ditched the idea.”

  “We can only hope. Oh, by the way, I met the St. Johns. They’re a gorgeous couple,” Dominique said, deciding to apply some more eye shadow to Michelle’s face while she was at it.

  “They are, aren’t they? They were on their honeymoon when we met them on the cruise and we decided to stay in touch. They’ve invited us to Houston next year to spend time at their place and we plan to go.”

  “Sounds great and you look great,” Michelle said, putting her makeup kit away. She then glanced at her watch. “Mom, Gramma and Ruth will be in here in a moment so I’ll give you this.”

  “What is it?”

  “It’s something borrowed.”

  Michelle couldn’t help but laugh. It was a frame photo of the two of them as toddlers, naked as the day they were born, while outside in the backyard in a kiddy pool. “Girl, you’re crazy.”

  “No, I’m not, and whenever you get a fetish for naked bodies just look at this,” Dominique said.

  “No, I’ll just turn to Royce and tell him to strip for me.”

  ***

  Royce stood next to Jordan and stared down at his future wife as she walked down the aisle on her father’s arm. Life with her would always be an adventure, one he was looking forward to pursuing.

  “Sure you want to go through with this?” Jordan leaned close to whisper.

  “Positive.”

  Royce knew there were some things in life that a man just had to do, and being smart enough to marry the woman he loved was definitely one of them. First he and Michelle had been bound by passion, and now they were bound by love.

  When she reached his side and took his hand to face the minister, he knew this is what he wanted. She was what he needed. For always.

  COMING IN 2009

  THE MADARIS FAMILY REUNION GETAWAY CRUISE TO CANADA

  SAILING OUT OF NEW YORK CITY.

  VISITING NOVIA SCOTIA AND NEW BRUNSWICK

  JUNE 15, 2009 TO JUNE 20, 2009

  COME JOIN US!

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  2009 IS A VERY GOOD YEAR FOR ROMANCE

  BRENDA JACKSON STYLE!!

  JANUARY

  FIRE AND DESIRE

  FEBRUARY

  SECRET LOVE

  MARCH

  TRUE LOVE

  TALL, DARK…WESTMORELAND

  APRIL

  SURRENDER

  MORE THAN WORDS NOVELLA

  MAY

  TEMPERATURE RISING

  SOME LIKE IT HOT

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  TASTE OF PASSION

  JULY

  INTIMATE SEDUCTION

  AUGUST

  ONE NIGHT WITH THE

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  OCTOBER

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  BOOK 1 (Untitled)

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  WESTMORELAND’S WAY

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  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  BRENDA JACKSON is a die “heart” romantic who married her childhood sweetheart and still proudly wears the "going steady" ring he gave her when she was fifteen. Because she’s always believed in the power of love, Brenda’s stories always have happy endings. In her real-life love story, Brenda and her husband, Gerald, of thirty-six years live in Jacksonville, Florida and have two sons, Gerald Jr., and Brandon, respectively.

  A New York Times Bestselling author of over sixty romance titles, Brenda is a recent retiree who worked thirty-seven years in management at a major insurance company. She divides her time between, family, writing, being CEO of her own publishing company and traveling with Gerald. You may write Brenda at P.O Box 28267, Jacksonville, Florida 32226; her e-mail address at WriterBJackson@aol.com, or visit her website at www.brendajackson.net

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