The Good Father

by Maggie Kingsley

  Oh, please, God, don’t let my nose be broken, she thought, putting her fingers to it quickly. She would just die of mortification if their date ended with her in A and E with a broken nose.

  ‘It’s OK—I’m sure it’s OK,’ she said. ‘Are you OK?’

  ‘Well, apart from a strange ringing in my ears, and all those stars I keep seeing…Joke, Maddie, joke.’ He grinned as she gazed at him in horror. ‘I’m fine, honestly I am, so let’s try that again. But this time,’ he added, reaching out and cupping her face firmly in his hands, ‘this time we’ll try it this way.’

  Smart move, she thought. Keep my head trapped so I can’t do you any more damage. OK, Maddie, you can do this, she told herself as his lips came down towards hers again. Just relax, and don’t screw it up again.

  And she didn’t screw it up. The moment his lips met hers she didn’t have to think about relaxing, or getting it wrong, because his lips fitted hers so perfectly. Fitted them with a heat that made her tremble. Fitted them with a warmth that made her so dizzy she had to clutch at his shirt to steady herself, and before she could rationalise what she was doing she was kissing him back, tasting the heat of him, feeling her own blood surge, wanting him closer, closer. Suddenly he jerked away from her, breathing hard, leaving her giddy and confused, until she heard what he had—an angry voice exclaiming, ‘Aunt Maddie.’

  ‘Susie…?’ Maddie said breathlessly, glancing over her shoulder to see her niece standing in her dressing-gown at the foot of the stairs, her eyes stormy. ‘I…Is there something wrong?’

  ‘Charlie’s very restless. I thought you should know.’ She scowled at Gabriel. ‘I thought you’d gone.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Gabriel,’ Maddie said, regret plain on her face. ‘Charlie still has the occasional nightmare so I have to go to him, settle him down.’

  ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ he asked.

  Yes, stay here, wait here, and when I come back make love to me, she thought, but that was a bad idea, and she knew it was.

  ‘Not really,’ she said. ‘Thank you for a lovely day, and I’m looking forward to next week.’

  ‘My pleasure,’ he said, and he leant towards her, and she leant forward, too, hoping he might kiss her again.

  Susie said, ‘Aunt Maddie, Charlie really needs you.’ Reluctantly Maddie stepped back.

  ‘Goodnight, then,’ she said.

  ‘Sweet dreams.’ Gabriel smiled, and Maddie threw him a smile as she hurried up the stairs. He was left with Susie who was gazing at him with no warmth at all.

  Well, he didn’t like her very much at the moment either, he thought grimly.

  ‘Next week?’ Susie demanded, and it took him a few seconds to work out what she was talking about.

  ‘Your aunt and I are taking you and Charlie to the Burrell Collection next week.’

  ‘So I have to put up with yet another let’s-all-play-happy-families date, do I?’ Susie said, not even trying to hide her contempt.

  ‘It’s late, Susie,’ he said tightly. ‘If you’ll excuse me—’

  ‘You’re going to break my Aunt Maddie’s heart, aren’t you?’ Susie said as he opened the door, and he swung round to her, open-mouthed.

  ‘I’m going to what?’ he said.

  ‘I love her, and I don’t want her to be unhappy, but you…’ A half-sob broke from her. ‘You’re going to break her heart.’

  ‘Susie, listen to me—’

  ‘No, you listen,’ she cried. ‘My Aunt Maddie…she’s special. She doesn’t deserve to be mucked about, so if you’re not going to be here for the duration, if all you want is to get her into your bed and then leave, please, just go away now and never come back.’

  Gabriel thrust his fingers through his hair, and tried to marshal his thoughts. Hell, the girl was talking happy ever afters, and he was still struggling to dampen down his libido and get his reeling head back in gear.

  ‘Susie, I like your aunt very much,’ he began. ‘I like being with her, talking to her, and I’m attracted to her—I can’t deny that—but whether we have a future together…All we can do is spend time together, and see what happens.’

  ‘That isn’t an answer,’ she protested. ‘That’s all woolly may-bes and could bes, and I want to know.’

  Lord, but she suddenly looked so very young staring back at him, her brown eyes confused and unhappy, and he wished he could give her a definite answer, but he couldn’t because he didn’t know the answer himself.

  He knew that when Maddie smiled up at him his heart beat faster. He knew that when she was close to him he longed to reach out and make love to her, but as for him making a long-term commitment to her, and to her children…That was something else entirely. That was way beyond anything he’d experienced in the past, and he wasn’t ready to deal with it now.

  ‘Susie, I have to go,’ he said.

  ‘But—’

  ‘It’s late, Susie,’ he said, and before she could say anything else he strode out of the door and down to his car, knowing she watched him the whole way.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  GABRIEL leant back in his seat and gazed morosely out of his consulting-room window at the buildings across the street and the blue sky beyond.

  Four stricken Saturdays. Four let’s-play-happy-families Saturdays, and the only physical contact he’d had with Maddie had been two stolen kisses, both interrupted by Susie. If he didn’t have Maddie soon he was going to go crazy.

  ‘Diana’s latest blood test results are back,’ Jonah said as he strode into the consulting room. ‘I’m afraid your suspicions were correct. She does have another infection.’

  ‘Right,’ Gabriel replied, without turning round.

  ‘I’ve told Lynne to increase the antibiotics she’s already on, and to monitor her heart rate in case the stronger dosage interferes with her heart medication.’

  ‘Fine.’

  ‘I’ve also told Lynne that while this heat wave lasts I’d like all of the babies to wear bikinis.’

  ‘OK,’ Gabriel said, then looked round sharply. ‘What did you just say?’

  ‘I thought you weren’t listening.’ Jonah laughed as he put the folder he was holding down on Gabriel’s desk, but when Gabriel didn’t join in his laughter he stared at him thoughtfully for a moment, then pulled over a chair and sat down. ‘OK, what’s up?’

  ‘Just Monday morning blues,’ Gabriel replied, but Jonah shook his head.

  ‘Gabriel, you’ve been walking around the unit strung tighter than a wire for the past two weeks, so why don’t you just tell me what’s wrong before you blow a fuse?’

  ‘It’s personal,’ Gabriel said tightly, and Jonah folded his arms and sat further back in his seat.

  ‘OK, I’m good with personal, and if this has anything to do with Maddie—and I suspect it has—you know I don’t gossip, so what’s wrong?’

  Gabriel hesitated for a second, then a month’s worth of frustration spilled out.

  ‘It’s her kids, Jonah. Maddie and I have been out on four dates, and every time her kids have come with us. I know she said I had to get to know them but, damn it, we’re never alone. In the past four weeks I’ve taken them to Pollok House, the Burrell Collection, the People’s Palace, the Museum of Transport—’

  ‘All that culture and all you want to do is get laid.’ Jonah grinned.

  ‘No, I don’t,’ Gabriel protested, then coloured slightly when Jonah’s eyebrows rose. ‘OK, maybe I do, but—’

  ‘Gabriel, if you just wanted sex with no strings attached, you shouldn’t be dating a woman like Maddie.’

  ‘I don’t just want sex,’ Gabriel declared, ‘but, hell’s bells, Jonah, we haven’t even been able to kiss properly without Susie popping up like some junior member of the vice squad.’

  Jonah smothered a laugh. ‘She sounds just like my kid sister. I remember once when I was in high school—’

  ‘Jonah…’

  ‘OK, OK.’ Jonah grinned. ‘You don’t want to hear about my past, but has
it ever occurred to you that maybe Maddie wants these interruptions?’

  ‘Why in the world would she want them?’ Gabriel demanded, and Jonah shook his head at him.

  ‘Think about it, Gabriel. Dating somebody new is tough enough at the best of times but when you have kids you’re not just putting yourself on the line, you’re putting them on the line with you. I think these family dates are Maddie’s way of protecting them because the last thing she wants is Charlie and Susie getting fond of you and then you take off, dumping them as well as her.’

  ‘Which means more of these damn happy family jaunts.’ Gabriel sighed. Jonah nodded. ‘I’m afraid so. How are you actually getting on with Charlie and Susie?’

  ‘Charlie…’ Unconsciously Gabriel’s face softened. ‘He just wants somebody to listen to him. Maddie does really well, but she’s not a guy so she doesn’t always understand his worries. I’ve been trying to give him as much help and advice as I can, but it’s difficult when I only see him once a week.’

  ‘You’re giving him advice?’ Jonah said with surprise, and Gabriel shrugged.

  ‘It’s the least I can do, and he…well, he seems to sort of look up to me, for some reason.’

  ‘Interesting,’ Jonah said. ‘And Susie?’

  Gabriel grimaced. ‘She hates my guts.’

  ‘Nah, she doesn’t. She just loves her aunt, and you’re this interloper who might be on the level and then again might not. If you let her see you’re one of the good guys, she’ll come round.’

  Yeah, when hell freezes over, Gabriel thought gloomily.

  ‘And Maddie?’ Jonah said. ‘Apart from the no-sex thing, are you enjoying spending time with her?’

  He was. He couldn’t remember ever having laughed as much with a woman as he had with Maddie, but he was a man, not a monk, and being in her company, yet not being able to make love to her, was pushing his self-restraint to the limit. And this hot weather wasn’t helping. The entire female staff of the Belfield seemed to have jettisoned their pantyhose, but it was Maddie’s bare legs his eyes kept straying towards, Maddie’s short T-shirts his eyes drifted to every time she stretched up, because he knew he would catch a tantalising glimpse of bare midriff.

  Which was pathetic. A man of his age shouldn’t be reduced to sneaking glances at a woman’s bare legs and midriff, but he was so darned frustrated he’d have accepted a glimpse of a bare anything.

  ‘If I were in your shoes I’d be cheering that nobody at the Belfield has sussed out yet that the two of you are dating,’ Jonah continued, clearly oblivious to his thoughts. ‘I don’t know how you’re getting away with it, but at the moment only Nell and I know and we won’t talk.’

  There wasn’t anything for them to talk about anyway, Gabriel thought sourly, but he didn’t say that.

  ‘I’d be grateful if you could keep it under your hat for as long as you can,’ he said instead.

  ‘So, you’re in this with Maddie for the duration, are you?’ Jonah said, and Gabriel only just restrained himself from saying something unprintable.

  Hell’s bells, first Susie and now Jonah. He couldn’t promise a happy-ever-after ending. Nobody could. Maybe after he’d made love to Maddie he might know if they were heading for a long-term relationship, but until then it was like asking a man if he was going to keep on buying a particular brand of biscuits when he hadn’t even tasted them.

  ‘Those blood results for Diana,’ Gabriel said, deliberately changing the subject. ‘She definitely has another infection?’

  Jonah gave him a hard stare that told him he knew exactly what he was doing. ‘Yes, but about Maddie—’

  ‘She’s certainly getting her unfair share of them,’ Gabriel continued determinedly, ‘but, then, Ben Thompson did, too, and I’d say he only needs another couple of days in Special Care and we can transfer him to Transitional.’

  Jonah gave up. ‘Agreed. So, are you ready for your morning rounds?’

  Gabriel wasn’t. He was hot, he had the beginnings of a headache, and it was only Monday morning, which meant he had another five days to get through before he went out with Maddie again. Or more precisely, went out with Maddie, Charlie and Susie again. He sighed at the thought. Other men took their dates out to the movies on a Saturday, or to a restaurant for a meal, and then, if they got lucky, it was back to their flats for some fun—but what did he get? Culture with Charlie and Susie.

  ‘Gabriel?’

  Jonah was waiting for him, and he knew if he told him what he was thinking he’d get another lecture on how important it was for him to take things slowly. And he would take things slowly, he told himself as he followed Jonah out into the corridor, but whoever said suffering was good for the soul had clearly never dated Maddie Bryce.

  ‘That’s the last time I believe the weather forecast,’ Nell said as she sipped a lime soda in Maddie’s office and wafted a makeshift paper fan in front of her face in a vain attempt to create a little breeze. ‘Slightly cooler on Wednesday, they said. Well, unless this heat has addled my brains, this is Wednesday and I think it’s even hotter today.’

  ‘I never thought I’d hear myself say this,’ Maddie said, easing her damp T-shirt back from the nape of her neck, ‘but it can be too hot. It’s fine if you can spend your time lazing on a beach, but when you have to work…’

  ‘Speaking of lazing about,’ Nell said, ‘where are you and Gabriel taking the kids this Saturday?’

  ‘I thought we might go to the Science Centre.’

  ‘Oh, hell, Maddie, why don’t you give the poor bloke a break?’ Nell laughed. ‘Not only is it hot enough to fry an egg on the pavement out there, but in the past four weeks he’s taken you to Pollok House, the People’s Palace, the—’

  ‘He enjoyed it—or at least he said he did,’ Maddie protested. ‘And since when did you care where we went anyway? You don’t think I should be dating him at all.’

  ‘I’ve changed my mind. Any bloke who’s prepared to put up with Susie and Charlie, plus mega-doses of culture every Saturday, must be on the level.’

  ‘You reckon?’ Maddie said, despising herself for needing confirmation but wanting it anyway.

  ‘Don’t you?’ Nell said in surprise. ‘I mean, I assumed—as you’re still dating—that the two of you were getting on like a house on fire both in the going-out-as-a-family stakes and in the bed department.’

  Maddie took a sip of her own lime soda, then cleared her throat uncomfortably. ‘There isn’t any bed department.’

  Nell’s eyes widened. ‘You’re kidding. Gabriel and you haven’t made love yet?’

  ‘When would we have had the opportunity?’ Maddie said defensively. ‘We spend every Saturday with the kids, and when we get home Susie doesn’t go to bed until late.’

  Nell put down her makeshift fan. ‘Maddie, if Susie’s up late it’s because you want her to stay up late.’

  ‘No, I don’t. OK, maybe I do,’ she admitted as Nell’s eyebrows rose, ‘but I’m just not comfortable about the idea of making love to Gabriel when the kids are in the house. What if Charlie had a nightmare and came looking for me, or Susie got up for a glass of water and walked in on us?’

  ‘Copout,’ Nell said firmly. ‘If you really wanted to make love to him, you know I’d let the kids stay overnight with me, so what’s the real reason behind these no-sex dates?’

  Maddie bit her lip. ‘I’m scared, Nell. I like him—I like him a lot. When he’s near me, when he smiles at me…all I want to do is jump on him and say, “Make love to me,” but it’s such a big gamble, such a big risk. You know what my track record in men is like. I pick stinkers. Time and time again, I pick stinkers.’

  ‘You think Gabriel is a stinker?’

  Maddie thought about it. Then she thought about it some more. ‘I don’t know, Nell. I don’t think he is, but I don’t know, not for certain.’

  ‘Want to hear some stop-press news, Maddie? There are no certainties when it comes to relationships. All you can do is trust your instincts.’
/>   ‘And if my instincts are wrong?’ Maddie said.

  ‘Then you live with it like the rest of us do,’ Nell said. ‘But you’re going to have to come to some decision about him soon because it seems to me as though he’s meeting all of your conditions and you’re giving him nothing in return.’

  ‘He likes spending time with Charlie,’ Maddie said defensively, and Nell sighed.

  ‘I’m sure he does, but this isn’t about Charlie and Susie, is it, Maddie? It’s about you.’

  No, it wasn’t, Maddie thought. It could never be solely about her, and there was another thing Nell hadn’t considered, but she had. If she gave in to her fear and told Gabriel that all she wanted from him was friendship, he probably wouldn’t want to spend time with her any more, and she’d miss him. She’d miss him very much.

  ‘Lynne only has another two months to go before she leaves for New Zealand,’ she said, deliberately changing the subject. ‘Are you going to apply for her job?’

  Nell shot her a look that said, I haven’t finished talking about Gabriel yet, so don’t think you’re off the hook.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘Part of me says, “Go for it,” but the other part thinks, “Yikes, it’s an awful lot of extra responsibility.”’

  ‘You can do it,’ Maddie insisted. ‘You’ve got both the knowledge and the experience.’

  ‘You reckon?’

  ‘Of course I do,’ Maddie insisted. ‘Look, will you at least think about it?’

  A small smile curved Nell’s lips. ‘OK, I’ll make a deal with you,’ her cousin said. ‘I’ll think about applying for Lynne’s job if you promise to make up your mind about Gabriel.’

  ‘Nell…’

  ‘Is it a deal?’ Nell put out her hand and, after a second’s hesitation, Maddie took it.

  ‘OK, it’s a deal,’ she said. But all she was going to do was think about it, and if that was cowardly, then she was cowardly.

  On Friday Gabriel didn’t think his week could get any tougher, but it did. Maternity had four premature births and, with no babies in the unit anywhere near stable enough to be transferred to Special Care, he spent a frustrating morning phoning around every NICU in the country to see if any of them could take them.