And Playing the Role of Herself...

by K E Lane

  "Mm…" I closed my eyes at her tenderness. It had been a long time since I'd told anyone that story and I was glad it hadn't sent her screaming into the hills. Or maybe it had, and she was just being nice. I opened my eyes. "So…now that you know the whole sordid tale, still interested in starting something with me?" I tried to keep my tone light, and not sound too pathetic.

  She cupped my face and forced me to look at her. "I'm not that easy to scare away, Caid. I don't care about your family, I care about you."

  I turned my head and brushed my lips against the hand cupping my cheek. "Lucky me."

  "And don't you forget it, missy," she said, and tweaked my nose, lightening the mood. "I'm going to get a little more wine. Would you like some?"

  I handed her my empty glass when she stood and she crossed to the table and divided what was left in the bottle between the two glasses. I put my feet on the floor and stretched my legs, still feeling the slight pull in my hamstrings from my surfing adventure.

  "So where does your mom live now?" Robyn asked from across the room.

  "She and Larry are still in Madison, although they travel almost six months out of the year. They run a travel tour company - hiking tours to Switzerland, biking in France, sailing the Greek Islands…that sort of thing. They're out of the country now until August."

  "That sounds like fun, how long have they been doing that?"

  "Um…let's see…maybe eight, nine years? Since Perry was about thirteen, I guess. They used to take him with them."

  "Have you ever gone?" She perched herself on the arm of the couch and handed me my wineglass.

  "I went on a bike tour through Germany with them once…by the time they started it, I was pretty busy trying to pick up acting gigs…just never seemed like I had enough time."

  She motioned for me to move over and then slid in beside me on the couch, curling her feet up and tucking them under my thigh. I could feel the slight chill through the thin linen shorts I was wearing.

  "Comfortable?" I asked with a smile and a raised eyebrow.

  "Very." She wiggled her toes and grinned at me, the force of it hitting me like a punch.

  I loved it when she smiled like that.

  This wasn't the practiced smile she gave the cameras and the public. No, this one she gave out sparingly, and only to a select few, and lit her entire face up…hell, her entire self. It was open, inviting and completely captivating. The image robbed me of breath and brought an ache to my chest, and I reached out to trail slightly trembling fingertips down her cheek, shaking my head.

  "You're so damn beautiful, Robyn. Sometimes I look at you, and I can't breathe."

  Her body stilled, and I wondered if I'd said something wrong. I withdrew my hand slowly. "I'm sorry…"

  Her eyes didn't leave my face as she gently placed her wineglass on the table, and then did the same with mine. Her hands went to the buttons of her shirt and she slowly unbuttoned them, one by one, revealing glimpses of tanned skin and peach colored lace. I watched her hands in equal parts fascination and trepidation, and when she was done, I looked up to meet her gaze. She smiled slightly at whatever petrified, excited, confused look I had on my face, then her expression became serious again and she took my hands in hers and turned them over, kissing one palm, then the other.

  "I want you to touch me, Caid," she said softly, and placed my hands on the smooth skin of her stomach.

  I drew in a shaky breath at the first touch of my hands on her heated skin. I was trembling, and I could feel the echoing tremble under my fingers. "Robyn…" My voice was hesitant, unsure.

  "Shhh…" She leaned forward and kissed me, slow and deep, then leaned back against the armrest of the couch, the action parting her shirt completely. "There's no right way or wrong way, Caid. Just…touch me."

  I dropped my eyes to take in the sharp angles of her collarbone, small breasts covered by almost shear, peach colored material, and the long, flat planes of her abdomen where my hands rested. She was slender - too slender, I thought briefly - and my hands easily spanned her waist. I brushed tentatively with my thumbs, and raised my hands to run my fingers over the ridges of her ribs, feeling each one. The slight tremors under my fingers gave me confidence and I stroked my hands down her stomach, swirling fingertips into the hollows just above the waistband of her shorts; the hollows that had so intrigued me last time I saw them as she walked up my drive three weeks before.

  I paused for a moment, remembering in a rush what I had wanted to do then. Don't think, Caid. Just…do.

  She gave a tiny gasp of surprise and pleasure when I lowered my head and kissed one hollow, then skimmed my lips across her stomach to kiss the other. I felt her hand in my hair, stroking softly and then spasm briefly when I ran my tongue around her navel, dipping in quickly and then sucking gently on the surrounding skin. I laid my cheek against the smooth, warm skin of her belly. "You're so soft," I whispered, letting my fingers play over her skin for a moment before turning and bracing my hands on either side of her, kissing my way up the middle of her body and finally capturing her lips. The gentle kiss soon turned urgent, and when I pulled away, we were both shaking.

  Her hands gripped my upper arms tightly, and her breathing was uneven. "God…you make me feel so much…"

  I balanced myself on one arm and ran my hand from her shoulder to her chest, hesitantly cupping her breast and lightly stroking my thumb across material of her bra, feeling her nipple harden in response.

  She sucked in a breath and her hands dug into my arms painfully. "Caid…baby, I don't want to rush you…we need to stop…"

  I raised my fingers to her lips, silencing her, and replaced the fingers with my lips for a brief kiss. "I want you, Robyn," I whispered. "Jesus, so much it hurts. I want to make you feel." I looked at her pleadingly. "Teach me. Show me."

  And she did - helping me slowly undress her, whispering breathless words of direction an encouragement, guiding my mouth to her neck and breasts, and much later, my hand to her sex, holding me tightly against her as she shuddered, muscles tightening in release around my fingers.

  She continued to hold my hand against her as she slowly relaxed, and I had no objection, enthralled by the feel of her warmth around my fingers and the slick evidence of her desire. Finally she moved her hand and I withdrew, lowering my body next to hers.

  "That was…amazing," I said softly, and kissed her forehead. "Thank you."

  She let out a strangled laugh and opened her eyes, looking at me with a slightly dazed expression. "I think it's me that should be thanking you."

  "So that's good, right?" I asked hopefully, shamelessly asking for reassurance.

  She laughed again, and this time when she opened her eyes, they were filled with gentle humor. "Yes. Very good. Caid…you did just fine." She smiled at me and stroked my cheek. "Just fine."

  "Good." It wasn't the fireworks-exploded-and-I-lost-touch-with-reality kind of praise that every lover hopes for, but it was enough. I smiled contentedly, thinking practice makes perfect, and gathered her up in my arms, nuzzling her hair. "Mm. You feel good."

  She shifted onto her side and laid her head on my chest with a satisfied sigh. "You feel good, too." She reached back and tugged at a blanket that was lying across the back of the couch, pulling it on top of us and settling in once more, her hand making lazy circles on my stomach under my shirt.

  After a few minutes the circles moved upward and she brushed her palm across my breast, then came back to circle my hardening nipple with a fingertip, the scrape of her fingernail across the material of my bra sending tiny shockwaves of sensation straight to my groin. I bit back a groan.

  "Why is it," she said in a raspy whisper, "that you have so many clothes on?" She tipped her head back and sucked my earlobe into her mouth. "Hmm?"

  I could only shake my head as the material of my bra was pushed up, freeing my breasts, and my nipple gently rolled between her fingers. "Oh…" She gave my other breast the same treatment before my shirt was pushed up and her
mouth, moist and hot, replaced her fingers. I closed my eyes and sucked in a breath, arching against her. "Jesus…Robyn…"

  She rolled until she was on top of me and pushed my shirt up further, sucking and nipping at my breasts, her hands and mouth seeming everywhere at once. I was lost in a haze of sensation and arousal, and when she stopped and lifted herself off me, I whimpered in dismay.

  "Caid." Her voice was rough with emotion and need, and my eyes flew open to find her standing naked above me, holding out a hand.

  I took her hand and wordlessly followed her as she turned off the gas to the fire, blew out the candles, and led me up the stairs to her bedroom where she undressed me, reverently kissing each newly revealed piece of my body as though it were a gift.

  "Beautiful," she said softly as her eyes roamed my body. She ran her hands up my arms and across my shoulders, pausing a moment to knead the muscles there. "So strong." The hands continued their trek, down over my breasts and ribs to where they came to rest on my hips. She looked into my eyes, pausing as though to make sure she had my attention. As if there was any doubt about that. "You're beautiful, Caid."

  She took my hand again and pulled the covers on the bed back, then pushed me down and slowly lowered herself on top of me. The feel of our naked skin touching for the first time pulled a low moan from both of us.

  "So good," she whispered as she settled on top of me. "I knew you'd feel so good…"

  She took her time, her hands stroking and kneading, and her teeth, lips and tongue igniting fires across my skin. Sensation overwhelmed me, and left no room for nervousness or doubt…I drown in the sweetness of it, coming with a shuddering gasp as her fingers filled me and she swiped her tongue across my clit.

  The tremors of my orgasm still echoed in my limbs as she kissed her way up my body, bracing herself on her hands above me. "You're amazing," she whispered, kissing my forehead. "Incredible." She placed a soft kiss on each eyelid. "Perfect." She hovered above my mouth, our breath mingling, and traced my upper lip with her tongue. I groaned and surged up to bring our mouths together, tasting myself on her lips. The wave of heat that rolled through me at the thought made me ache, and I needed, right then, to taste her.

  Her eyes widened in surprise when I pushed her over and reversed our positions, but she murmured her approval when I ran my tongue down her neck to her breasts, spending several minutes in languid exploration before continuing down her body, remembering areas where she was most responsive and discovering new ones that brought a intoxicating mixture of moans and tiny gasps.

  When I eventually touched my tongue to her wetness, she hissed and grabbed the back of my head, guiding and encouraging as she had done before, and when she came against me this time, I needed no reassurance that it had been good.

  I circled her waist with my arms and lay my head on her stomach, listening as her breathing and heart rate slowed, marveling at the feel of her, the heat of her skin and her taste on my lips. She ran her fingers absently through my hair for a few minutes, and then tugged gently.

  "Come up here, you."

  I placed a wet, openmouthed kiss between her legs that made her twitch, and inched up her body, placing more kisses as I went. After one final kiss on her smiling mouth, I settled in beside her, propping my head up on my hand and watching her watch me.

  She sighed contentedly and rolled on her side to face me. "I thought you said you were new at this," she said, stroking my cheek.

  I smiled slightly and kissed her fingers. "I'm a fast learner with the proper motivation. And you," I kissed her fingers again and caught one between my teeth, biting gently before releasing it. "You are some kind of motivation."

  "Lucky me." She leaned in for a lingering kiss and then pulled back. She hesitated, and then asked quietly, "Stay?"

  I smiled and kissed her forehead. "I'd like that."

  "Good," she drawled, tracing random circles on the skin of my shoulder with a finger. A slight push sent me sprawling onto my back and she contemplated my naked form with lazy, half-lidded intent. "Because I'm not even close to being done with you."

  I grinned.

  Hot. Damn.

  ##

  Sometime before dawn an insistently full bladder woke me, and after carefully extricating myself from Robyn's arms, I rose and padded to the bathroom. On my way back to bed, I reached to switch off the floor lamp - the one we'd left on, too comfortable and too spent in each other's arms to turn off - but paused, captivated by the sight on the bed before me.

  She was on her stomach with her face towards me, one arm curled above her head and the other beneath her pillow. She'd kicked most of the covers off during the night, exposing leanly muscled shoulders, the long expanse of her back, one perfect globe of buttock, and one smooth, slender leg.

  I stared at her in wonder.

  She was amazing; delicate and strong, sharp angles and softness, the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I drew in a shaky breath, wanting her with an intensity that astounded me. Sex before had been adequate, often pleasant, and sometimes I'd even considered it very good. But never had it come even close to what I'd experienced with Robyn. Never had I felt so close to someone, and been so satisfied, but still left with this anticipation, this…craving.

  Even now, exhausted and sated, just thinking of her, watching her, stirred my desire again. I longed to reach for her, to run my hands over her skin, her hair…I swallowed hard at the rush of emotion that swept through me, surprised that arousal wasn't at the forefront. Instead, it was overwhelming tenderness.

  I sighed resignedly.

  I was in deep, deep trouble.

  When I had talked with Perry about my feelings for Robyn, I had been unsure; putting the label 'love' on it for lack of a better way to explain what I was feeling. But now I was sure. Sometime during the night, the feelings I had for Robyn had intensified into something very deep, very strong, and very frightening.

  I was in love with her, no doubt about it now.

  I dropped heavily into the softly upholstered wing chair next to the floor lamp and sighed again.

  So. I'm in love her. In love with a famous, closeted actress who has a boyfriend who's not really her boyfriend, calls her affairs 'things' and who has never cared about any of her past lovers enough to bring them home to meet her family. You sure can pick 'em, Caid.

  I sat for a long time, contemplating my new lover and the plethora of ways she could hurt me. Eventually, I turned off the light and slipped back into bed, wiggling around to get comfortable and draping my arm across Robyn's back. This would either be the best thing that ever happened to me, or a spectacular crash and burn that would fuck me up for a good, long time. But either way, I was happy now, and determined to enjoy it for as long as it lasted.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  The sounds of a shower running along with quiet singing woke me the next morning, pulling me from dreams that I couldn't remember, but that left me slightly unsettled. I rolled onto my back and opened my eyes, blinking groggily at the unfamiliar, sunlit room around me. My eyes fell on a pile of clothes on the floor, and I smiled slowly, remembering the night before and just who it was singing Prince's Kiss, slightly off-key, in the next room.

  I yawned and stretched luxuriously, humming in satisfaction at the pull from muscles long unused. With any luck, I'd have many chances to whip those muscles back in shape. I tucked an arm behind my head, smiling at the thought. The shower turned off but the singing continued and I watched Robyn exit the bathroom wearing a short, black robe - damn, that woman looked good in black - and toweling her hair dry.

  "Act your age mama, not your shoe size maybe we could do the twirl…"

  She stopped abruptly when she caught sight of me.

  "Morning," I smiled. "I can't remember the last time I was serenaded in bed."

  "Uh…hi." She looked around the room, anywhere but at me, obviously uncomfortable and at a loss for words. I fought back a stab of panic. She couldn't be done with me already, could she?
r />   Not if I could fucking help it.

  I pushed the covers off and threw my legs over the side of the bed, never losing eye contact. "Come here."

  I think we were both surprised by the authority in my tone, and she blinked and dropped the towel to her shoulder, staring at me.

  "Please," I added, holding out a hand to her.

  She hesitated, obviously warring with herself over something, before finally draping the towel across the back of the chair and slowly approaching the bed. She stopped a few feet from me and I reached out to pull her forward the last few feet until she came to a stop standing between my legs.

  I stared up into her face for a moment, looking for a hint of what we shared the night before. Come on sweetheart; don't do this to me…

  With careful deliberateness, I untied the belt of her robe and spread the material, drinking in the sight of her. She did nothing as I slowly ran my hands up her thighs and over her stomach, but when I nuzzled the hair at the juncture of her thighs and placed a gentle kiss on small swell just about it, I felt a tremor run through her body and a shaky sigh escape her lips.