Invisible

by L. A. Remenicky

  Finally, we were done. Coach would have my ass if I were late for practice. I can’t believe I agreed to this tutoring thing, makes me look like a total loser. And it’s during my weightlifting class. I’m going to have to find some other time to use the weight room.

  We were sent back to our classes as the last bell rang. I walked out of the office and went to my locker, slamming it shut as I saw my friends headed for the gym. We strutted down the hall knowing we owned this place. We win games, and that’s all anybody should care about.

  Chapter 3

  Lainie

  The next day I was almost to study hall when I remembered that I was supposed to tutor Jackson in the library this period. Crap! I turned around and started running for the library on the other side of the building, next to the principal’s office. The bell rang just as I entered the room. I looked around but didn’t see him. If he didn’t bother to show up, I could use this time to study for my calculus test next week instead of trying to help him understand geometry. He’s a jock anyway and probably thinks he doesn’t need to know any of this.

  The door opened and he sauntered in, oblivious to the fact that he was more than five minutes late. He scanned the library and saw me in the back corner trying to hide from the world. The librarian glared at him when he tossed his book on the table, and all he did was smile like he didn’t care what anyone thought. Oh, to be that confident about anything must feel fabulous. He’d better not try to use that smile on me, though; it won’t work. I have more important things to worry about, such as making enough money for college next year and staying invisible so my stepdad doesn’t notice me. That would be the worst that could happen.

  I grabbed Jackson’s book. “So, what chapter are you on? We need to get started.” At least, it was the same text we used last year in sophomore geometry.

  He sat slumped in the chair next to me trying to ignore the fact that I was there. I guess he isn’t into geek girls.

  “Chapter 15,” he finally answered.

  Sounds like I’m going to have to drag everything out of him. Oh well, my ass isn’t the one on the line here. I opened the book to the review problems for Chapter 15 and slid the book so it was between us. “Tell me how you would start solving this problem,” I said as I pointed to the first equation on the page.

  He glared at me and sat up straighter so he could read it.

  “I’m not stupid, you know. I blew off one test, and Mr. B. is all over my case to bring up my grade. I do enough to squeak by. Don’t know why I have to know this stuff anyway.” The frown on his face proved my earlier thought about his state of mind.

  I glared back at him, astonished at his attitude. “Don’t you want to play basketball in college? You won’t get any scholarships if you have bad grades.”

  “The recruiter from Duke has already promised me a scholarship. I guess they don’t care about my grades.”

  He smiled at me, a confident grin spread across that gorgeous face, as if he had the world in his back pocket.

  “I’m passing all my other classes. Good thing I don’t want to major in math.”

  Geez, what a jock.

  “Fine. I’ll just study for my calc test since you don’t care if you’re benched for the tournament.”

  I opened my backpack and started rummaging around for my calculus book.

  The look of horror on his face actually cracked me up, and it was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. Dumb jock forgot why he was forced to come and hang out with me in the library.

  “Okay, okay. I get it.”

  He kneeled down on the floor and looked up at me. “Please help me get my geometry grade up. I’ll do whatever you say.”

  I laughed. What a goofball!

  “Get up before the librarian comes back here and throws us out. You are a nut.”

  I couldn’t stop laughing and tried to stifle it as tears ran down my face. Jackson sat back in his chair looking around to see if we were gonna get busted. I pulled my glasses off and wiped my eyes. He stared straight at me before I could put them back on.

  “You’ve got beautiful eyes. Why do you cover them up with those huge geeky glasses?”

  My face got immediately hot. I’m sure I looked like a tomato; my fair skin has always shown blushes like you wouldn’t believe. The butterflies in my stomach were having a field day, and I ignored his question. Jackson McKenna thinks I have beautiful eyes.

  Somehow, I pulled my focus back to geometry, and we started to work. He actually knew more than he thought he did. With a little hard work, he could pull his grade back up with his next test. He’s not just a dumb jock; he could be an A student with a little bit of effort.

  Before I knew it, our time was almost up.

  “That’s enough for today. Tomorrow we’ll pick up where we left off.”

  I reached towards him with his textbook, and he yanked it out of my hand.

  “You never answered my question, Lainie. Why do you wear those big geeky glasses that cover up your eyes?”

  Lainie? I’d never been given a nickname before. It was nice that no one else but Jackson called me that. It was my secret, personal nickname. I hid behind my hair and mumbled something about not being able to afford a new pair. Picking up my backpack, I hurried out of the library, heading towards my locker. No one can know the answer to that question, especially not Jackson McKenna. Only three more months until I can escape from this town and this life; college is my only hope.

  Jackson

  I was unbuttoning my shirt in the locker room when I remembered that I was supposed to be in the library that period. Shit. I pulled on my shoes and buttoned my shirt as I shoved my shorts and t-shirt back into the locker. The whole time I was running out of the locker room, I hoped I could get into the library without anyone seeing me. Just outside the door, I waited until I had my breathing under control then walked in—didn’t want to give the geeky girl the idea that I was a flake. Opening the library door was one of the most difficult things I’d done in a long time. I didn’t want anyone to know that I almost screwed up our chances of winning the state tourney this year.

  There she was waiting for me in the back corner of the library. Good, at least, no one could see us from the door. I walked over and threw my book on the table, giving the librarian my “I’m Jackson McKenna, and I’m the most popular guy in school” smile when she glared at me.

  Elaine snatched the book and started paging through it while asking me what chapter we were on. I slumped in my chair not caring if she got up and walked out. “Chapter 15,” I answered as I scanned the room, looking anywhere but at her.

  She found the page she was looking for and pushed the book towards me, keeping it where we both could see it without moving our chairs. She asked me how I would start solving the first problem but was just waiting for me to say that I didn’t know.

  “Man, this bites. I really don’t need to know all this geometry stuff for basketball. They’re just picking on me. And I’m not stupid, it’s just a waste of my time.”

  “Don’t you want to play basketball in college? You won’t get scholarships if you have bad grades.” She looked at me as if I didn’t have a brain in my head.

  I told her about the recruiter for Duke, who already promised me a scholarship, and that they don’t care about my geometry grade. Since she kept giving me the “look who’s wasting whose time” stare, I decided to lighten the mood. “Good thing I wanted to major in pre-law and not math.” She just glared at me. I thought it was funny.

  “Fine. I’ll just study for my calc test if you don’t care that you’ll be benched for the tournament.”

  Shit. I forgot about that part. Given she wanted to be serious about this assignment, I figured that I’d try adding more humor to the situation. I dropped down on my knees as if I was praying and pleaded with her to help me improve my geometry grade. Then I offered her my most pitiful face.

  That did it; she cracked up. She laughed so hard she was crying and tried t
o hide it with her hands so we wouldn’t get busted for making too much noise. When she took off her glasses to wipe her tears, I couldn’t believe what beautiful blue eyes she had.

  “You’ve got beautiful eyes. Why do you cover them up with those big geeky glasses?” I blurted out without thinking. She turned bright red and ignored my question, bringing my attention back to the geometry book.

  We worked for a while, and I was amazed at how much I actually remembered about this chapter without studying. After we had finished up for the day, she started packing up her backpack, and when she picked up my book, I grabbed it out of her hand. “You never answered my question, Lainie. Why do you wear those geeky glasses that hide your pretty eyes?” I really wanted to know the answer. I wanted to know why she hid from the world.

  She lowered her head, letting her hair obscure my view of her face and mumbled something about not being able to afford a new pair. I had seen her waiting tables at the diner so I knew she made some money. Her tip money certainly didn’t go towards her wardrobe. She’s hiding, but from what or whom?

  Chapter 4

  Present Day

  Lainie

  I woke up with tears running down my face. Dreaming of Jax always made me sad, remembering how close we had become that year before everything fell apart. I smiled until I remembered that he couldn’t know I was his Lainie. A phone call would be first on my list of things to do that morning. Matt needed to know that Jax almost recognized me. After my shower, I limped to the dressing table to sit and put in my contact lenses and apply makeup. Staring at myself in the mirror, I wished I didn’t have to wear the brown contacts. My short, blonde hair reminded me that I couldn’t be Lainie—I must be Dr. Parker—being Lainie might get me killed. Matt would probably move me again; anything to keep me safe.

  As I put on my makeup, Lainie gradually disappeared, replaced by Elizabeth Parker. For a moment, I let myself fantasize about a normal life—maybe even a life with Jax—maybe even marriage, family, and babies. I wouldn’t let myself think about that. I could never have a normal life as long as Keith was alive. For years, my wishes and prayers had been for him to rot in prison forever, but nothing was guaranteed, and I would never be safe until he was dead. That bastard was the reason I wasn’t allowed to have a normal life. Knowing he’s in prison is the only thing that keeps me sane. I shut my eyes and blocked out the memories of the night that changed everything. I made sure my locket was hidden under my clothes—it was a gift from my dad just before he died. There was a picture of him and Mom inside, and I was thankful to still have this small piece of him.

  All the reminiscing made me late. I grabbed yesterday’s mail off the counter and shoved it in my purse, hoping I’d have time to go through it today. Sheila was already in the office when I arrived. Good, I get nervous walking into my office when no one else is around.

  My first appointment had been waiting, and my schedule was nonstop all day. There was no time for lunch since I’d agreed to an emergency meeting with a suicidal teen. Some free time opened up when my 3:30 appointment cancelled, so I headed to The Coffee Spot on the corner to get a chai tea latte. The sugar and caffeine would help keep me alert during my session with Jax. I didn’t want to let my guard down. No way did I want to drag him back into the screwed up mess that was my life.

  The walk to the corner to get my latte helped wake me up, and I now thought I might be ready to deal with him. Back at the office with ten minutes to spare before Jax’s appointment, I retrived the handful of mail out of my purse and sat to sift through it while I waited. When I got to the envelope with no return address, I had to remind myself to breathe. It was probably just another letter from a patient, but my hands shook as I opened the envelope and pulled out the single sheet of paper. It was a copy of a newspaper article dated a week ago. The words I had hoped never to see were there on the clipping: “Keith Neuhaus released from prison due to improper procedure.”

  The paper crumpled in my hand. My mind went blank. My pulse raced. My world began to fade as the blood drained from my head. Sheila’s voice broke through the fog, but it sounded tiny and far away. I sat frozen, unable to move but attempting to breathe regularly. It wasn’t working; I couldn’t draw in enough air. Everything went black.

  Jax

  Yep, those were my bloodshot eyes that stared back at me in the rearview mirror. Every time I closed my eyes, I relived that night, remembering her screams. It made me nauseous. Great, is this going to happen every time I see someone who reminds me of Lainie? Maybe Dr. Parker can help me deal with this too, not just the trauma of the bank robbery shooting. I used some eye drops, but they weren’t doing anything about the bags underneath. At least, the doc released me to drive. Jordan would harp on me if she saw me looking like this again. Back then, it had been six months before I could sleep through the night without a nightmare. Not knowing what happened to her made it even worse.

  Once I arrived at the building and parked the car, I started questioning my sanity. Surely Dr. Parker wasn’t my Lainie. If she was, why hadn’t she recognized me? When I shut the car door with my right hand, I got a dose of reality and winced as the sudden movement sent pain shooting down my arm. Shit, that hurt. Rubbing the offending injury during the elevator ride to the third floor helped.

  Before I even reached the desk, the receptionist smiled and acknowledged my arrival.

  “Good to see you without the sling, Detective. I’ll let Dr. Parker know you’re here.”

  She pushed an intercom button on her desk, and there was a soft, professional tone to her voice. “Dr. Parker…Detective McKenna is here.” When the doctor didn’t reply, she repeated herself, this time with concern in her voice. When she called the doctor a third time my stomach dropped. It didn’t take police training to tell me that something was wrong; I could feel it in my gut. By the time the receptionist stood to enter the office, I was right behind her. What we saw when she opened the door sent chills down my spine and flashbacks through my mind. The doctor sat unmoving, staring straight ahead. She didn’t respond to either of us as she whispered, “No, no, no, no.”

  When I reached for her hand, she screamed, and I pulled away. At least, that brought her back from wherever she was. As I touched her hand again, I realized her fist was clenched around a wad of paper. I pried it from her hand and smoothed it out on the table. Rage overtook my effort to calm the situation as I read the article. I placed both hands on the sides of her face and stared into those brown eyes. Now I understood... she was wearing contact lenses. The disguise was good, but this confirmed what my subconscious mind had been trying to tell me—she was Lainie, my Lainie.

  “Lainie, look at me.”

  I knelt down in front of her and took her hands in mine.

  “I’ve been looking for you for ten years.”

  This seemed to break the spell that the article had cast, and she looked up at me.

  “You can’t be here. I can’t be here. I have to disappear again before he finds me.” She began sobbing.

  In an effort to calm her and thinking that I knew everything, I replied, “He’s been out for a week. I don’t think a two-bit drug dealer who has been inside for the last ten years will find you.”

  I wanted to pull her into my arms and never let go.

  “You don’t understand. There were some facts of the case that were never made public because they couldn’t be proven.”

  She looked up at me, terrified.

  “Keith wasn’t just a dealer; he was the head of the operation. He’s connected and free now and knows that I know. He’ll come for me soon.”

  Chapter 5

  10 years ago

  Lainie

  It was my fifth week tutoring Jax. We had been working on all of his classes, not just geometry. I was proud of his grades. They had all improved, and he now carried an A- to B+ average. Seeing his eyes light up when he grasped a new concept in one of his classes had my heart beating faster, and it made me smile inside. I rarely believed that
it was possible for me to be completely happy.

  I found myself looking forward to our tutoring sessions, wanting to see him. He acted differently when it was just the two of us, not needing to “put on the show” with me like he did with everyone else. When he smiled, it made my day worthwhile.

  On Monday, I was anxious to see Jax. I hadn’t had contact with him since Friday because Mrs. Bloom kept me after class to discuss my accounting project that was due the following week. The bell rang signaling the start of the last period of the day. She looked up and saw that I was getting antsy to go.

  “Don’t worry Elaine, I’ll write you a pass. Mr. Grant won’t have a problem with you being late for study hall.”

  “I’m actually tutoring someone this period. I really need to go.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry dear.”

  She pulled out her pad of passes from her desk drawer and began filling one out.

  “Who are you tutoring?”

  My face turned red as I replied, “Just one of the basketball players.” I looked down at my feet trying not to smile at the thought of seeing Jax in a few minutes.

  “Here you go. Sorry I kept you so long.”

  “Thanks, Mrs. Bloom,” I said as I was already halfway out the door. My feet seemed to fly as I ran down the hall, thankful that I was on the same side of the building as the library. The librarian glared at me as I entered half out of breath.

  When I reached the table where Jax was sitting, he was glaring at the shelves along the wall. The chair made a scraping sound as it moved across the tile floor when I tripped over it. He looked up and saw that it was me and smiled in a way that melted my heart.

  “Do you like me, Jax?” I asked without thinking. I couldn’t believe I actually brought it up. My cheeks started to burn, and I looked at my feet, afraid of how he’d answer. I sat down and started pulling books out of my backpack.