Invisible

by L. A. Remenicky

  “Hey, Lainie, look at me,” he said as he pulled my chin up so I was looking at his eyes. “Yeah, so far.”

  In that moment, I just knew that my heart was going to beat right out of my chest, and then he took my hand and interlaced our fingers. He pulled his book over and started asking questions as if this were any other day.

  After the bell had rung at the end of the period, Jax leaned over and whispered so close to my ear that his lips touched the curls of my hair. “Go out with me Saturday night.”

  His breath in my ear sent shivers down my back. I couldn’t think; I could only feel. Being wanted was such a wonderful feeling. I was only able to sit there and grin at him like an idiot, nodding my head yes.

  “I’ll pick you up at seven o’clock.” Jax pulled his hand out of mine. If I didn’t know better, I’d think it was the hardest thing he’d ever done. I never wanted this magic moment to end.

  “Gotta get to practice,” he said, his voice cracking. His face turned red, and he rushed off towards the gym.

  After he had left, I realized what I had done. I accepted a date with the most popular boy in school. So much for being invisible.

  Jax

  I was riding high on the Semi-State win last Friday night and wanted to share it with Lainie, but she hadn’t arrived yet. Where was she? I stared at the shelves of books in front of me as if they contained the answer. Glancing at my watch didn’t help. She had never been late.

  Lainie still hadn’t told me why she hid behind that glorious hair and those geeky glasses, and whenever I tried to ask, she’d change the subject. Going to the diner after practice to see her had become part of my after-game ritual, pretending I was there studying so my friends wouldn’t catch on. I loved watching her work, smiling at her customers. They always brightened my days during our tutoring sessions. It was hard to convince her to keep helping me even though my geometry grade had improved, but it was worth the effort. All my grades went up. I studied so she would be proud of me. I’d do anything to spend more time with her.

  Glancing at my watch again, I started to get worried because she was in the hall earlier today, so I knew she was at school. Yesterday, I asked her to sit with me at lunch today, but she refused. She mumbled something about needing to be invisible. I don’t get it, and she continued to avoid the subject.

  The sound of a chair scooting across the floor caught my attention. I looked up, and there she was. I smiled, breathing easier now and in an instant, her face lit up.

  “Do you like me, Jax?” she asked, blushing and immediately looking down at her feet, her hair covering her face. She sat next to me and started pulling books out of her backpack.

  I reached over and lifted her chin up so she was looking at me eye to eye and knew I was telling the truth when I answered, “Yeah, so far.” That made her grin the special smile that made my heart stop. I took her hand and laced our fingers together as I opened my book and started asking questions about my assignment. I’d never felt like this before; it was scary… and wonderful.

  The bell rang. It was now or never. I leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Go out with me Saturday night.” The smell of her hair made me want to kiss her. I held back, knowing that kissing her in the library was not the right place or the right time.

  She sat there and grinned at me, nodding her head yes. She is so beautiful when she smiles, and those eyes of hers would melt a glacier.

  “I’ll pick you up at seven o’clock.” I reluctantly pulled my hand out of hers, “Gotta get to practice,” I said, wincing as my voice cracked like it did when I was a freshman. How embarrassing. I rushed off towards the gym. My face was burning.

  I got ready for practice, laughing and joking with my friends. Mike came over and grabbed my basketball out of my locker and spun it on his finger.

  “Jackson, my man, there’s gonna be a killer keg party out at Chuck’s Saturday night. You gonna be there?”

  “Sorry, man, but I’ve got plans. Next time,” I replied as I thought about my date with Lainie. I turned back to my locker to get my shoes.

  “What, your date too good for us dumb jocks? You’ve been acting weird for the last month; shoulda known it was because of a girl.”

  He tossed the basketball at me and started to walk away but popped off one more insult as he turned to leave. “Pretty bad when a guy chooses a girl over his friends. Thought it was bros before hoes.”

  After running drills, Coach had us play some actual basketball. Mike was on the other team, and he was all over me on the court. He was obviously pissed and kept slamming into me. Coach finally noticed and pulled him out of the game.

  “Easy there, Mike. We don’t want any injuries before the state finals.”

  Mike sat on the bench glaring at me as if I’d stabbed him in the back.

  3 days later

  Lainie

  I was supposed to work until nine o’clock tonight, but Mr. Graham let me leave early so I could go shopping for my Saturday night date with Jax. Sliding hangers along the racks at the Goodwill store calmed my rattled nerves as I tried to find something not too dressy that looked better than my ordinary, baggy clothes. I didn’t want to dip too much into my savings; that’s my “get the hell out of Dodge” fund for college next year. Jax was taking me to the movies so my outfit could be kinda casual, but I still wanted to look nice. I had spotted a perfect denim, knee-length skirt that fit me really well and a blue sweater that matched my eyes on sale, so they found their way into my shopping cart. The sales girl helped me find a brand-new pair of boots that fit and looked great with the skirt.

  Next stop was the drugstore for mascara and lip gloss. I never wore makeup, so I didn’t want to go overboard. The excitement and anticipation grew as I headed back to the diner with my purchases. Mr. Graham was letting me keep them there until Saturday so I could change after my shift. It seemed like Saturday was a year away.

  When my shift was over, I left the diner lost in thoughts of Jax—how sweet he was and how he made me feel. I wanted to shout it out loud to the whole town that Jackson McKenna and I were going on a date.

  About halfway home, after just passing the high school, a car pulled up beside me.

  “Hey, baby, want a ride?”

  I looked up, and it was a newer Mustang GT. Three of Jax’s teammates leered at me from inside the car. Just what I didn’t need.

  “No thanks,” I said as I kept walking, looking straight ahead. Two of them were hanging out the windows on the passenger side of the car ogling me.

  “C’mon, honey, let us give you a ride and then you can ‘give us a ride.'”

  Ewww. I don’t know how Jax can be friends with these bozos. They are total pigs.

  “No, thanks.”

  I kept walking with my head down, hoping and praying someone would come along so I wasn’t alone out here.

  The car stopped, and I heard the doors open. I was frantic and looking around for somewhere to run. The high school was the only building out this far, and it was locked up tight at this time of night. There was nowhere to hide.

  Running was my only option, even though I knew it would be easy for them to catch me. I heard them behind me, and they were gaining on me fast! Even though I never turned to look in their direction, I sensed them behind me, getting closer and closer. One of them caught my arm and pulled me to a stop. I stood there, my chest heaving as I tried to catch my breath. The three of them surrounded me, cutting off all hope of escape. The one holding my arm reached towards my chest with his other hand and grabbed my breast, squeezing hard.

  Oh, God! This can’t be happening. Tears ran down my face. The guy who held me groaned, and I decided I was not going to let this happen. I moved a bit closer to him and brought my knee up just like Dad had taught me, getting him hard in the crotch.

  “You bitch,” he yelled as his face screwed up in pain. It worked. His immediate reaction was to let go of my arm to cup himself with his hands as he doubled over. The other two just stood there a
nd stared at me totally dumbfounded.

  Finally, I heard a car coming. I ran towards it, so thankful that they had come along when they did. The car rumbled louder as I got closer and I recognized it. It was hard to miss the custom flames or that it was a souped-up ’67 Camaro. I wished it were anyone but him coming to my rescue.

  The car stopped next to us, and the passenger door opened. “Get in, Elaine,” my stepdad ordered. No one argues with him.

  “You boys get on home. I see you sniffin’ around her again, and there will be hell to pay.”

  I got in and buckled up, trying to stay as close to the door as possible.

  “Do I need to tell your mama about this?”

  “No, sir.” I’d learned that pleading my case only pissed him off. He reached over me and locked the passenger door, dragging his hand and arm across my chest. I crossed my arms to cover up, willing myself not to vomit as he licked his lips.

  “Did those boys touch you, girl?”

  “No, sir.” No way was I telling him what happened. I just wanted to get home and away from him. He didn’t touch me when Mama was around; she wouldn’t stand for it. But she was totally subservient to him in every other way. He was a disgusting old letch, and I tried to hide my body from him by wearing oversized clothes.

  “I need to get some beer. Give me your tip money,” he said with a growl as he pulled into the liquor store parking lot. I dug into my pocket and pulled out the money I had left. It was only $10.00 since I hadn’t worked a full shift and had spent about $20.00 on my shopping spree. I didn’t understand why he did this. I overheard him on the phone last week, and this poor drug dealer persona was just an act. He was actually the head of the drug smuggling organization. I was certain Mama didn’t know; she let him treat her like shit. I pushed down the anger, knowing there was no way I could escape this situation right now. That’s why I worked so hard to graduate a year early so I could get away from him. Maybe then I could convince Mama to leave too.

  “Damn, that’s all you got? I guess it’ll have to do.”

  He got out of the car but turned around and bent down to talk to me. “Don’t go anywhere. I don’t need you gettin’ into any more trouble tonight.”

  He headed into the liquor store, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Once we got home, he would drink his beer and forget about me. I was so desperate to get out of this town.

  Two Days Later…

  I couldn’t believe it was almost time for Jax to pick me up for our date. Every glass I grabbed today seemed to jump right out of my hand—good thing they were plastic. Mom and Keith thought I’d be working extra hours today because I didn’t want Keith to know about my date. I stood in the diner restroom and stared at myself in the mirror, not recognizing the girl I saw. My hair was pulled back, and the geeky glasses were in my purse. Too bad I’d have to put them on to watch the movie. I decided the locket looked really nice, so I left it outside the blue sweater. My hands shook too much for me to be able to put on the lip gloss. Maybe I’ll try again later. I put it back in my pocket. Leaning against the sink, I took a deep breath and tried to calm the butterflies in my stomach. I imagined what it would be like to have a normal family, to be able to tell my mom about this date and how Jax made me feel.

  Christy poked her head in the door. “Hey, honey, your young man is here.” She came in the restroom and motioned for me to turn around so she could see my outfit. “You look great. Now, go have a fun time.”

  I give her a hug. “Thanks, Christy. I’m so nervous. I hope I don’t embarrass myself.”

  She left, and I inhaled almost too much air, letting it out as slow as possible before opening the door and heading out to meet Jax. He and Mr. Graham were talking and laughing as I approached them. Jax turned around and smiled when he saw me.

  “Wow, you’re beautiful!”

  Mr. Graham looked at both of us, but he spoke to Jax. “You treat our Elaine like a lady tonight, Jackson. Remember what I told you.”

  Jax shook his hand. “Sure thing, Mr. G.”

  I pulled my coat off the rack, and Jax took it from me, helping me into it. He was a gentleman. “You ready, Lainie?” he asked as he held my hand.

  Out in the parking lot, he stopped when we reached a 1966 Mustang convertible and opened the passenger door for me.

  “I didn’t know you were into old cars.”

  “It’s not just an old car; it’s a classic. My Dad and I are restoring it. We still need to do some body work, but the engine is done.”

  Since we lived in a small town, our theater only had two screens. I hoped Jax was taking me to see the romantic comedy and not the action movie.

  Waiting while Jax bought our tickets, I tried to remain calm and act as if I went on dates all the time instead of this being my first one. Truth be told, I was so nervous I almost turned around and ran out of the building. At the snack bar, he bought a large popcorn and soda despite my protests that he was spending too much money. He handed me the popcorn and grabbed my other hand, pulling me along with him. As soon as we entered the theater, he stopped, choosing seats in the last row.

  “I hope this is okay. I just want us to have some privacy.”

  The previews started right away, so I settled in with the popcorn on my lap. I watched Jax’s face in the light from the screen, wondering why he asked me out on a date. Except for the tutoring, he never would have noticed me. We were both intent on the movie as if our lives depended upon what was happening on the screen. When the couple from the movie shared their first kiss, Jax turned to me and I saw the question in his eyes. I leaned in and so did he and our lips met. It was just a quick first date kiss, but for me, sparks actually seemed to fly through the air. He pushed a stray curl back behind my ear, and his touch made my toes tingle. His arm settled across my shoulders, and he pulled me closer so that my head was resting on his shoulder. I sighed, feeling safe and protected for the first time since my dad had died.

  The movie ended, and we waited for everyone else to leave. “I need to wash my hands; they’re all greasy from the popcorn.”

  He was reluctant but let go of me. “I’ll meet you over by the snack bar.”

  Whew. I shouldn’t have drunk so much of that soda. After washing my hands and checking my hair, I pulled the lip gloss out of my pocket and put some on now that I wasn’t shaking. One last look in the mirror, and I headed towards the snack bar.

  Just then I noticed Jax talking to a couple of his teammates. I stayed out of sight but got closer to where I could overhear their conversation.

  “Who are you here with, Jax? All your regular dates are out at Chuck’s party.”

  “You don’t know her.” He turned his back to them and said, “I’ll see you at practice on Monday.”

  It was obvious that he was trying to get them to leave before I got back. My heart sank. He didn’t want to be seen out in public with the class geek. I had hoped he was different, but apparently not. Still out of sight, I waited for them to leave.

  “Take me home, Jax,” I ordered with a tinge of regret in my voice. My mind was made up. If he didn’t want to be seen with me, I didn’t want to be with him. I was so stupid thinking he was different. How could I have been fooled so easily?

  Traitorous tears fell, and I released the tie in my hair and let it fall around my face to hide them. Besides, I didn’t want to see the confusion on his face as he asked, “Why? I thought we had a good time.”

  I couldn’t even look at him. “Just take me home.”

  “What happened, Lainie? Tell me what I did wrong? Don’t you want to go back to the diner and get your things first?”

  I got in the car and totally closed down, not answering his question.

  When he pulled up in front of my house, I got out of the car before he could walk around it to open my door. I just needed to get away from him.

  I was halfway to the front door when I turned and yelled, “You were ashamed to be seen with me. I heard what you told your friends. You didn’t want th
em to know you were out with me. You’re just like the rest of them. I…”

  Tears began to stream down my cheeks, and I couldn’t finish, so I ran into the house and slammed the door, forgetting that I needed to be quiet to avoid Keith’s attention. It looked as if he had just finished snorting a line of coke; there was residue on the mirror on the coffee table and some white under his nose.

  “What you yellin’ about, girl?”

  He noticed what I was wearing, and I saw the anger rise in his face.

  “You’ve been with a boy tonight? You act all prim and proper but the minute you are out of the house, you let some boy touch you.”

  He lunged towards me with lust written all over his face.

  I grabbed the bat he kept by the front door. Being in his business, he couldn’t be caught with a gun; it would add too much time to any convictions. I swung the bat up and held it there, waiting for him to come at me. He came closer, inches at a time. I took a swing, hitting him in the thigh.

  “You asshole. I know you are not what you want everyone to think you are. I heard you on the phone. I know you’re not some two-bit drug dealer. You hurt me, and I’ll go to the police.”

  It was easy for him to grab the bat from me because he was so much bigger and stronger. I backed up, tripping on the ottoman and falling to the ground on my back, hitting my head in the process. I whimpered, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

  His eyes were alive with anger and lust, practically burning a path up my legs. He swung the bat down, and I tried to get out of the way, but I was too slow, and it hit my left knee. White-hot pain shot down my leg, and I screamed as my mom entered the room and stood there…frozen. My agony-filled cries seemed to infuriate him further, and he kept swinging the bat and hitting my left leg, progressing down from my knee to the ankle. It didn’t take long before the pain made me woozy and I saw Mom finally move, trying to come up behind him with the cast iron frying pan. Hopefully, to knock him out. He saw my eyes following her, and he turned and threatened her with the bat instead. “You want some of this, too? I can make that happen.”