Trade Off

by Cheryl Douglas

  Failure wasn’t an option for Sela. Her business was the only thing she had left in her life to warrant getting out of bed in the morning. She’d never borrowed a dime from her husband or parents and she vowed she never would, no matter how dire things seemed at times. She’d worked her way up from a struggling new agent, saving every extra cent from her commission checks so she could open her own office. They’d only been in business a few months when the global market started to soften, taking their tiny office down with it.

  “What’s your budget?”

  “I don’t know. I’m thinkin’ five to seven mil, but I’d be willin’ to go higher for the right property.” He shrugged when her mouth fell open. “I don’t have a lot of the vices some of the other guys have. I’m not into sports cars, I don’t have any expensive hobbies…” He rubbed his hand over the dark stubble covering his tense jaw. “I’ve reinvested most of what I’ve earned. In some cases, I’ve managed to double or triple my money.”

  If he was trying to impress her, it was working. The boy she used to know only cared about getting that coveted ice time and how he was going to make the most of it once he was out there. “Okay, well, it would take me some time to see what’s out there.”

  “Does that mean you’re willing to work with me?”

  The commission on that one sale could keep her business afloat for several months. What choice did she have? “I suppose so, as long as you understand that the past is off limits.” She offered her hand to seal the deal. “And so is my marriage. This is about me helping you find a house, nothing more. Agreed?”

  He took her hand and looked her in the eye. “We used to be friends. Remember what that was like?”

  She’d only spent the past eight years trying to forget. “I said I don’t want to talk about the past.”

  He leaned forward, still holding her hand. “This is the only thing I’ll say about it, I swear.” He propped his elbow on the desk and brought her hand to rest against his cheek. “You used to be the person I called when I needed to talk, the last one I thought about before I went to bed. Yours was the face I saw, the one that made me smile when I woke up in the mornin’…”

  It seemed so unfair that his words still had the power to affect her this way after so many years. She’d built a protective armor that made her immune to other men, but a few minutes in his company reminded her that she would never be safe from this man.

  “You were my best friend, my lover, my everything.”

  She sucked in a sharp breath and tried to withdraw her hand, but he held firm.

  “I respect the fact that you’re married now, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, does it?”

  The seemingly innocuous question was loaded with enough ammunition to blow her orderly world apart and he knew it. “How am I supposed to explain to my husband that I’ve decided to befriend my ex-boyfriend?”

  “He doesn’t have female friends?” His eyes narrowed when she didn’t respond right away. “Please don’t tell me he’s cheatin’ on you.”

  He shouldn’t be able to read her so well after all these years, but they’d always had an inexplicable connection. No one, not even Sharon, understood her the way he had. “I didn’t say that.” She pulled her hand free. “Besides, I told you, my marriage is off limits.”

  His gaze was hard and unforgiving when he glared at her. “Fine, but if I find out he’s messin’ around on you, I will kick the shit out of him. You can count on that.”

  “Aiden, please…” His anger gave her a glimpse into what she could expect to see if he ever found out about the baby she’d intended to keep from him. “This is none of your business.”

  “Like hell it isn’t. That worthless bastard stole the woman I love the second my back was turned. The least he can do is treat you the way you deserve to be treated. And if he’s not, I can promise you, he’ll be answerin’ to me.”

  Aiden leaned over Sela’s shoulder. Bracing his fists on the desk on either side of her, he tried to pretend the subtle scent of her expensive perfume wasn’t making focusing on the impressive images and virtual tours she was using to entice him into buying a property difficult.

  “So, I’m thinking our best options are in Belle Meade, Forest Hills, and Northumberland.”

  “Great, let’s go and have a look.”

  The tightened grip on her pen was the only indication that the prospect of spending time alone with him unnerved her. “Um, right now?”

  “Sure, why not?” He leaned back against the desk, crossing his arms and legs. “You need to take care of somethin’ else?” He could see her mentally scrambling, trying to come up with any excuse to prolong the inevitable.

  “Uh no, but most people ask for at least twenty-four hours’ notice prior to showings.”

  He looked at the images of the house filling her screen. “That one looks vacant, so it shouldn’t be a problem, should it?”

  She sighed before reaching for her notepad. “Let me see what I can do. If we’re gonna do this, we may as well try and see at least a few properties today… for comparison’s sake.” She jotted down a few addresses and MLS numbers before picking up her desk phone. “Corine, I’d like you set up a few appointments for me.”

  Aiden listened to her recite the information as he took advantage of the time to note the subtle differences that made her the woman instead of the girl he used to love. The most notable, and most painful, was the large diamond on her left hand. So many times over the years he’d passed a jewelry store and a flawless diamond captured his interest, but the only woman he could imagine wearing his ring was already wearing another man’s, and thinking about it still cut him to the core.

  “Corine is setting it up.” She withdrew a contract from her desk drawer as she tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear. “It shouldn’t be a problem. To be honest, the estate homes don’t get a lot of showings, especially in this economy, so I can’t see anyone refusing your request for a showing.”

  “No worries,” he said, reclaiming the guest chair before folding one leg over the other. “I’m not in a hurry or anything.”

  “Are you staying with your parents while you look for a house?”

  “Yeah.” He smiled. “It’ll be a few weeks before they start drivin’ me crazy, and by then we’ll be gearin’ up for the regular season.”

  She returned his smile. “Your parents are great, and you know it. How are they, by the way?”

  “They’re doing well. Dad retired from Titan a while back and Mike took over his position. Mom’s semi-retired, so they have a lot more time to travel. They bought a place in Mexico a while back… Mayan Riviera. They go there a few times a year.”

  “That’s nice. I’m surprised you didn’t ask Lexi to help you find a place.”

  “Dad’s takin’ her away on a cruise next month, so she’s busy plannin’ for that. How ’bout your family. How’re they doin’?”

  “They’re good. They’re both retired too, but they’re kind of homebodies, so they don’t venture too far. I wanted to send them on a cruise for their anniversary last year, but they said they’d heard too many horror stories about cruises.” She rolled her eyes. “You know how they are. They’re not as adventurous as your parents.”

  “Yeah, I remember.” He grinned. “I miss them.”

  She looked uncomfortable when she said, “They missed you too, Aiden. For a long time. I shouldn’t tell you this, but my dad’s favorite team has been Vancouver for the past eight years.” She winked. “The traitor.”

  Aiden threw his head back and laughed. “He’s a good man, your dad.” Mr. Clarke was his math teacher for three years in high school, and they’d always had a unique relationship born of mutual respect. Aiden was never the kind of student to coast because he knew his future was set in stone. He worked hard to achieve good grades in the classroom, and Mr. Clarke and his other teachers always appreciated his effort.

  “I’ll tell him you said ‘hi.’ He’ll be thrilled you’ve joi
ned the home team.”

  He knew this would be a good time to ask permission to visit her parents, but things were going so well between them, he didn’t want to say or do anything to upset her again. “Does he get out to many games?”

  She shrugged. “A few.”

  “Neil hasn’t set him up with season tickets?”

  Sela grimaced. “Let’s just say my husband and my parents don’t always see eye to eye.”

  He wanted to ask the reason for the conflict, but he knew he’d cross some unseen boundary if he tried to delve too deep before they’d re-established their friendship. When he came home, he had no idea where things would go with Sela, but after spending some time with her, he realized how much he’d like to re-build their friendship. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, given his hatred for the man she’d married, but having her back in his life again would be worth the effort.

  “I’m sorry to hear that. It must make it difficult for you, bein’ caught in the middle like that.”

  “Not really. They’re rarely in the same room together, and we’ve agreed the topic of my marriage is off-limits. It seems like the only way to keep the peace.”

  “Still, it doesn’t sound ideal.”

  She looked him in the eye. “No, ideal would be if they loved my husband as much as they loved you, but I quickly realized that wasn’t going to happen.”

  If she was trying to make him feel guilty for earning her parents’ affection, it wouldn’t work. No matter how many years passed, he’d always consider them two of his favorite people. They couldn’t help it if their daughter had captured his heart as a teen and ruined him for other women.

  “Um…” She slid the document across the desk. “I hope you don’t mind signing this? It’s a buyer’s agreement. It just states that I’m working on your behalf to secure a property, I have your best interest in mind, first and foremost when negotiating the terms of the sale, and you won’t look for anyone else.” Her cheeks flamed. “I mean, you—”

  He held his hand up as he reached for a pen. “Sela, if I thought I could replace you, I would have, years ago.” He shook his head. “But if having a written agreement makes you feel better, I have no problem with that.” He looked up when he scribbled his signature at the bottom of the page. “You gonna tell him about this?”

  “I, uh, don’t usually keep secrets from Neil, but in this case…”

  “You think it might be for the best?”

  “Yeah, are you okay with that? I mean, you don’t plan to tell him we’re working together, do you?”

  “Your husband, your decision.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate that, Aiden.”

  Sela had insisted they take separate vehicles to the showing. Aiden assumed it was her not-so-subtle way of ensuring their time alone together was limited, but he wasn’t in a position to bargain for more. After years of living without her, he was willing to take what he could get, for now.

  He hated the lingering sadness he saw in her eyes, as though none of her old dreams for the future had come to fruition the way she hoped they would. He knew she probably saw the same hint of regret lurking in his eyes when she looked at him. Remorse, especially when staring into the face of the one person you once wanted above all else, was an unforgiving ogre that served as a constant reminder life did not offer a rewind button.

  He pulled into the driveway of the sprawling two-story home in Brentwood just behind her. The homeowners had left the intricate iron gates ajar, obviously awaiting their entry. When she put her little Audi in park, he cut the engine and hopped out of his vehicle.

  She was standing there, looking up at the house, when he approached. “It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?”

  “It sure is.”

  She rolled her eyes and smiled when she caught him staring at her instead of the house. “Focus on the objective, Cooper. We need to find you a house, unless you’re content to live with mommy and daddy forever.”

  “Bite your tongue.”

  He grinned, surprised to realize just the sight of her gorgeous smile had the power to lift his sagging spirits. It had always been that way. When they lost an important game, she was the one to remind him he would play a hundred important games in his career and it was time to put this one behind him so he could plan for the next one.

  Aiden reached for her hand, hoping he wouldn’t lose sight of her pretty smile by pushing her too hard. “Hey, I just wanted to thank you for doin’ this for me.”

  She looked down at their clasped hands a moment before she withdrew hers. “I should be thanking you for trusting me to help you find the right house. I know there are lots of other agents you could’ve chosen, and given our history—”

  “You were the only one I wanted.” He knew touching her was against the rules, but he couldn’t help himself when a silky strand of hair blew across her glossy lips. He gently tucked it behind her ear and let his hand linger against her face as her eyes drifted closed. “God,” he said, taking a step closer. “You don’t know how much I want to kiss—”

  She pressed her palm against his chest and took a step back. “No! We can’t go there.” She turned around and started walking toward the house.

  “Damn it,” he whispered, wishing he’d had the self-control to keep his feelings for her in check. Inviting her back into his world, knowing she belonged to someone else now, was a fool’s mission. He knew that, but he still loved her enough to accept the few stolen moments she seemed willing to offer.

  Careful to stand a safe distance away from her on the portico as she punched a code into the lockbox and fit the key into the burnished Baldwin lock, he took a moment to imagine how this moment might have been different if she were his wife and they were looking for their own dream home.

  “Hello,” she called, stepping the spacious foyer. “The homeowners aren’t supposed to be here, but I just wanted to make sure.” She reached for a glossy brochure listing the home’s features on a gilded wood table in the entrance. “Okay, shall we get started?”

  Aiden knew this was an important decision, but he couldn’t tear his eyes off the gentle sway of her hips in her form-fitting grey dress as she led him into the formal living room.

  “What do you think?” she asked, looking up at the ornate plaster molding decorating the twenty-three foot ceilings. “Impressive, don’t you think?”

  He shrugged. “I’ve never been big on formal rooms. They’re a waste of space if you ask me.”

  She whipped out her phone and he watched her fingers glide over the keypad.

  “What’re you doin’?”

  “Just making some notes about what you do and don’t like in the properties we see today. It’ll give me more insight into what you’re looking for.”

  “Sela…”

  She looked up at the sound of her name on his lips. “Yes?”

  “I haven’t changed. I’m still the same simple guy I was when we were together. They may have added a few zeroes to my paycheck, but I don’t need the fancy address to impress people. I just wanna find a house where I feel at home, ya know?”

  “Why don’t you tell me about your home in Vancouver?”

  “It was just a place to hang my hat.” He crinkled his nose, making her laugh. “What’s so funny?”

  “I can’t believe you still do that.”

  He’d picked up the habit as a kid, and despite his mother’s admonishments, he was never able to let it go. “I keep tellin’ you I haven’t changed, sweetheart.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans, waiting for her to reprimand him about keeping their relationship professional, but he was pleasantly surprised to see her smile.

  “I’m glad to see that money and fame hasn’t changed you, Aiden. Not that I thought it would… It’s just nice to know you’re still the same sweet, down-to-earth guy I remember.”

  He was caught off guard by her unexpected praise. “Thanks.”

  “You were always so modest, the first one to downplay your accomplishments. Everyone would c
all you a hero for single-handedly winning some tournament because you’d scored a hat trick in each of the games, and you’d brush it off, telling everyone it was a team effort.”

  He walked toward the floor-to-ceiling windows bordering the wall facing the street. If he didn’t put some physical distance between them, he knew he was at risk of saying or doing something that would cost him the friendship they were starting to rebuild. “You win as a team or lose as a team. I’m only one guy. I sure as hell can’t do it alone.”

  “Is it going to be weird for you, stepping into the captain’s role this year?”

  “Why would it be? I’ve worn the ‘C’ before. Why should this year be any different?”

  “I don’t know; your relationship with Neil is so tense. I hope he doesn’t give you a hard time.”

  Aiden laughed. “He will, and I’ll give him a hard time, but we’re not kids anymore. We’ll find a way to work it out. We don’t have a choice. The team is paying both of us a lot of money to put our personal feelings aside.”

  “I’m worried about him,” she said, quietly.

  He tried to quash the feelings of bitterness and resentment those words evoked. Neil was her husband, she had every right to express her concern for him, but Aiden knew he would never be able to come to terms with the fact that her heart belonged to someone else now. “Why’s that?”

  “He’s been feeling down lately. He says it’s getting harder to compete with the rookies.”

  “He’s still young. If he takes care of himself, he’ll have another ten or twelve years to play the game.” As a physical defenseman, Aiden knew Neil would be out of commission long before he would as a goal-scoring center, but he’d seen a lot of players out-play the average, especially in recent years.

  “I have no idea what he’ll do when he’s forced to retire,” she said, slipping her phone back into her over-sized designer purse. “Hockey’s been the only thing he’s known his whole life.” She shuddered. “You hear so many horror stories about players who lose it when they don’t have the game anymore.”