Trade Off

by Cheryl Douglas

  He always was her biggest fan. No matter what she wanted to accomplish, he was the person who made her believe anything was possible if she learned to believe in herself as much as he believed in her. “I love painting. It’s like my safe haven when the rest of the world seems so chaotic.” She shrugged. “Unfortunately, I don’t have a studio anymore.”

  “Well, it just so happens that I have a house with quite a few empty bedrooms. If you’re real nice to me, I might give you your own key so you can come and go as you please.”

  She knew he wanted more, but the fact that he was willing to compromise and let things progress at a slower pace proved to her that he was always going to put her needs above his own. He was still the same man she’d fallen in love with, only better. He’d learned from his mistakes, as she had, matured, decided what was important to him. “I’d love that. Thank you.”

  “Anything for you, you know that.”

  “I’ve always enjoyed cooking too.” She leaned her head on his shoulder, doing her best to garner sympathy for her plight. “Of course, I had to make some sacrifices with the new place, so I got a great location with a tiny kitchen. I love cooking, but it’s no fun if there’s no one there to praise your efforts.”

  With his tongue firmly planted in cheek, he said, “As long as you’re gonna have a studio at my house, you should feel free to use the kitchen too.”

  “Really?” She blinked up at him, doing her best to keep a straight face. “You’re sure you wouldn’t mind?”

  “Not as long as you promise to let me share those fancy meals from time to time.”

  She pretended to consider her options for a beat before she said, “I think that can be arranged.”

  “Glad to hear it.” He stole a kiss, moving in to deepen it when she wound her arms around his neck. When they finally broke apart, he leaned his forehead against hers. “I’m not gonna lose you again. Whatever it takes to make this work, no matter how long it takes, I’m in this for the long haul.”

  “Me too.” She caressed his face, knowing her next painting would be of him. Not the boy he used to be a lifetime ago or the fiercely determined professional athlete who’d captured the hearts of millions, but her Aiden. The man who gave his heart to her as a boy and never thought to ask for it back, even when she broke it beyond repair. “I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you, and I never, ever will.”

  He framed her face with his hands and stared into her eyes a long time before he said, “That’s the only thing that matters to me. I’m not gonna lie, I’d love you to sleep in my bed every night, wear my ring, share my last name, but as long as I know that your heart belongs to me, and only me, the rest is just a bonus.”

  “I want it all. We’ll have it all someday soon, I promise. I just need a little more time to figure out what makes me happy, Aiden. Aside from you, of course.”

  He brushed his lips back and forth across hers, taunting and teasing when she tried to deepen the kiss. “Take all the time you need, baby. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

  Epilogue

  Nine Months Later

  Aiden’s team had finally won the Cup, for the first time in their franchise history, but instead of sticking around to help them celebrate, Sela decided to return to Aiden’s home and plan their own private celebration. One she hoped would make the best night of his life even better.

  They had spent every possible moment together for the better part of the last year, and he was wonderful. Supportive, compassionate, and nurturing as she pursued her goals and re-built her life after the divorce. It took a brief phone conversation with her ex-husband for her to realize Aiden was sacrificing his own happiness to give her what she wanted.

  Sharon and her husband had recently had their baby, and Aiden visited with Sela, complimenting their friends on the new addition to their family and wishing them well. But he said nothing to her about what that visit cost him.

  In recent months, Aiden and Neil had slowly started rebuilding their shattered friendship and he confided in his friend about how much he loved Sela and wanted to start their life together. He wanted what Sharon and her husband had: a beautiful family, stability, and the promise of a future with the woman he loved.

  Tonight Sela intended to reward his patience.

  The sound of the front door alerted her to his presence and she took one last look in the full-length mirror before making her way to the top of the stairs.

  He looked up at the sound of her footsteps on the hardwood floor and his mouth fell open. “Oh wow. I was disappointed when you didn’t stick around to help us celebrate, but now… wow,” he whispered, letting his eyes travel hungrily over every inch of her body before finally settling on her eyes. “You look incredible.”

  She’d taken great care to select the perfect lingerie for the occasion. White with satin and lace embellishments. It spoke of transparency, purity, and new beginnings, something she hoped tonight would represent for them. She let the fur-trimmed sheer robe fall open to reveal the bustier and matching panties beneath as she made her way down the stairs to greet him. “Congratulations,” she whispered, reaching out to him.

  He’d been the hero in tonight’s game, scoring a hat-trick, including the game-winning goal that led their team to victory, but she couldn’t concentrate on the game because her mind kept drifting back to the surprise she planned for him at home.

  His house had slowly, but surely become her home in recent months. Her own apartment served as a stopping point to pick up more clothes or check the mail, but whenever Aiden suggested she consider putting her place on the market, she resisted. She wasn’t ready to relinquish her newfound independence, but she knew Aiden saw it as an escape route in case their relationship didn’t work out.

  Tonight she intended to close the door on the past, firmly and irrevocably.

  “Come upstairs,” she said, taking his hand. She was suddenly nervous as her stomach tightened in anticipation of his reaction to her news. “I want to show you something.”

  He stopped in the doorway to the master suite. The bed was turned down, and white rose petals decorated the chocolate brown sheets. The large room was bathed in candlelight and soft music drifted from the built-in speakers. She’d left the envelope on his pillow, knowing that’s the first place his eyes would land when he entered the room.

  “I can’t believe you did all this,” he said, entering the room tentatively, as though he was afraid of breaking the magic she’d worked so hard to capture.

  She slid his suit jacket off, and she could practically feel the tension radiating from his broad shoulders. “I wanted tonight to be special,” she said, setting his jacket on a nearby chair. “Memorable.”

  He turned to face her, capturing her face in his hands as his mouth came down on hers. “Every day I spend with you is memorable, Sela. Don’t you know that?”

  The intensity of her love for this man terrified her sometimes. If something ever happened to him, to them, she knew she’d never recover from the loss, but she was tired of being a pessimist. She wanted to believe Aiden when he said they could have the life they always dreamed of. Children, grandchildren, travel, love, laughter… forever. She was ready to believe in forever.

  She gestured to the envelope lying on the bed. “Why don’t you open that?”

  He smirked as he extricated himself from her wandering hands. “What are you up to, beautiful?”

  She wanted to give him a wink and coy smile, but she couldn’t, not when her heart pounded so hard it threatened to burst out of her chest. She’d never had the courage to put herself on the line like this before. Would he be thrilled, or would he feel trapped?

  Aiden sat on the edge of the bed as he opened the envelope and read the legal documents. He looked up at her, and the surprise and confusion was unmistakable as he waited for her to explain.

  Sela flattened her hand against her racing heart as the worst possible scenarios filtered through her mind. She thought he hadn’t spoken about the future lat
ely because he was trying to give her space. But what if he was having second thoughts? She trusted Neil when he confided in her about his conversation with Aiden, but what if he was trying to make a fool of her, to get even with her for leaving him?

  “Say something,” she pleaded, trying not to cry.

  “I’m not sure what to say.” He held up the folded document. “What does this mean? Why the hell did you sell your condo without talkin’ to me about it first? I thought we were a couple. I thought we made decisions together?” The confusion was quickly replaced by frustration as he tossed the papers down on the bed. “So, what are your plans?”

  God, this was so humiliating. How was she supposed to tell him the truth, that she’d already moved her belongings into his home? Aiden was out of town for an away game last night, and she asked Ryan and Evan Spencer to help her with the move, swearing them to secrecy so she could surprise Aiden after tonight’s game. Some surprise.

  She could tell him she’d planned to buy another place to save her pride, but the clothes hanging in his closet would prove her a liar. “I’m sorry, I…”

  Aiden felt physically sick. He recognized that tremble in her voice. He’d heard it once before when she told him it was over between them. He thought things were going so well. He allowed himself to believe it was only a matter of time before she let down her defenses and let him in completely. How had he misread the situation? When she was in his arms, making love to him, sharing a meal at his kitchen table, or curling up on the couch to watch her favorite reality TV show, it felt so perfect, so right, as though they were both exactly where they were supposed to be.

  He tried to keep his voice steady when he said, “Just tell me why you’re doin’ this.”

  “I thought it was the right time.”

  She was wringing her hands, trying to blink back the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks, but Aiden couldn’t feel any sympathy for her, not this time. “Just get out.”

  The color seeped out of her face as she swallowed. “What did you say?”

  “I said get the hell out. I can’t do this anymore.” He walked past her, intent on leaving the room when her soft sobs stopped him in his tracks. “Don’t do that. Don’t make me feel like this is my fault.”

  “It’s not.”

  She sat down on the edge of the bed, looking miserable and so beautiful his body couldn’t resist stirring in response.

  “Sela, I’m only human, damn it. Did you think I could go on like this forever?” He raked his hand through his hair, cursing softly when she swiped her cheeks with trembling hands.

  “I don’t have anywhere to go.” She took a deep breath, as though she was intent on pulling herself together. “Would it be okay if I spent the night?” When he didn’t respond, she said, “In the guest room, of course.”

  Aiden shook his head, trying to make sense of what she was telling him. “Wait a second, you’ve already moved out of your condo?”

  “Yesterday. Didn’t you look at the date on those papers?”

  “No, I guess I didn’t. I don’t get it, where are your things?”

  “Here,” she said quietly as she looked down at her clasped hands.

  “What the hell...” He walked over to his walk-in closet and threw the door open. He stared at her colorful dresses hanging next to his dark suits and he wanted to hit his knees and shout his gratitude, but first he knew he had some groveling to do. “Baby, I…”

  “It’s okay,” she said, sniffling. “I knew this was a bad idea. In my gut, I knew I was taking a risk, but…” She sniffled again. “I thought it was my turn to take a chance on us. You’ve put yourself out there for so long. I thought it was my turn to do the same.” She shrugged. “I guess I was too late.”

  He’d never intended to hurt her or make her question what they had, but fear and memories of a past heartache made him jump to the worst possible conclusion. “I’m sorry,” he said, crossing the room before kneeling down in front of her.

  “You have nothing to apologize for. You didn’t do anything wrong.” She withdrew her hands when he tried to hold them. “This is all on me, again. I made the mistake. I waited too long, or…” She tugged on her bottom lip with her teeth. “I don’t know, maybe it’s no one’s fault. Maybe we just weren’t meant to be.”

  Aiden’s stomach dropped when he realized she was ready to give up on him. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her slightly to get her attention. “Don’t do that. Don’t give up on me, on us.”

  She frowned. “What are you talking about? I thought you wanted—”

  He stole her words with a mind-numbing kiss. “You thought wrong.”

  “You mean you’re not mad that I moved my stuff in without asking you?”

  He threw his head back and laughed, coaxing a hint of a smile from her. “Mad? Are you kiddin’? This is what I’ve been prayin’ for, sweetheart. You’ve gotta know that.”

  “I thought I did, but you got so angry when you found out I sold my place…”

  “I was pissed ’cause I thought you were tryin’ to bail on me again. I want to build a life with you, and I thought you were makin’ plans on your own again, leavin’ me out of it.”

  She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I kind of did leave you out of it. Sorry about that.”

  “Honey, this is the best surprise I’ve ever had. This is the only thing I’ve ever wanted, you and me, livin’ together, buildin’ a life together…” He wanted to say so much more, but she’d already taken a big step, and he didn’t know if she was willing to go any further just yet.

  “You can say anything to me, Aiden.” She smiled as she stroked his face. “Don’t ever be afraid to tell me what’s on your mind or in your heart.”

  He took a deep breath as he cursed himself for being greedy. He should be satisfied that she was finally willing to meet him halfway, but he’d never been able to hold back where this woman was concerned, and he knew the only thing that would ever give him peace of mind was knowing that she was his forever. “I love you, more than anything.” He cupped her cheek in his hand. His voice was hoarse when he said, “I just wanna be with you, every day for the rest of our lives. I know you’re not there yet, but…”

  “I am,” she whispered, looking up at him from beneath her tear-streaked lashes.

  He could have sworn his heart stopped for a beat before he asked, “What did you say?”

  “I’ve been such a fool.” She braced her hands on his shoulders as she looked him in the eye. “I’ve wasted months. Hell, I’ve wasted years trying to prove to you and myself that I don’t need a man, any man, to make me happy. Well, guess what? I do. I need you.”

  He closed his eyes, reveling in her quiet admission. He’d lost count of the days, weeks, months, years he waited to hear her say those words again. Just when he was about to give up hope and settle for the little she seemed able to give, she decided to give him everything.

  He lowered his head, touching his forehead to her knees as he struggled to pull himself together. There was so much he wanted to say, needed to say, but he couldn’t get a word past the lump lodged in his throat.

  “It’s okay,” she said, sliding to the ground with him. “You don’t have to say anything.” She began freeing the buttons on his shirt, kissing each inch of skin she bared until she was pushing his shirt to the ground and reaching for his belt buckle.

  He watched her strip him of his clothes as his mind rehearsed everything he wanted to say when he could finally find his voice without losing control. He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve his moment in the spotlight, being rewarded with the woman he loved more than life itself welcoming him home, but he’d trade years of his life for this single moment when everything in his life was perfect.

  “I love you,” she whispered, trailing kisses over his abdomen. “I want to be your wife…”

  He groaned when she slid his cotton boxers over his hips and sheathed him in her hand while her silky hair glided over his s
ensitive skin.

  “I want to have your babies…”

  He watched, mesmerized as she took him in her mouth, pouring all of her passion into his pleasure. There was no way he would let the most perfect night of his life end like this. She, not hockey’s ultimate prize, was the reason for his bliss, and he intended to reward her properly, thoroughly, all night long.

  Gripping her shoulders, he eased her back on the blanket she’d placed in front of the fire she started in the wood burning fireplace. “I love you,” he whispered, settling in between her legs. They were the only words he could force out, but he knew they were the only words that mattered. He laved her breasts until she pleaded with him to give her more.

  “Everything…” He kissed her neck as he slid into his own ecstasy. “I want to give you everything.” And he knew he would, or at least spend every day for the rest of their lives trying.

  About the Author

  To learn more about this author or other books in the Nashville Nights or Next Generation series, visit www.cheryldouglasbooks.com

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  Coming Soon

  Special Edition – Holiday Homecoming

  The Turner’s are hosting a Christmas gathering for their closest friends and family when an expected event forces them to pull together and help one of their own through a crisis. Will tragedy strike, forcing Trey Turner to face his worst nightmare, or will this holiday be the one that helps them all to heal?

  Release Date – November 2012

  Book Three – Game On