“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Bezzin,” Pillbox yelled, cutting off the woman.
“What?”
“It’s bloody damn obvious what. You clearly have the hots for Jord, and no matter how dimwitted he chooses to be about it, it’s plain as day to everyone else.”
“Agreed,” said Zesque.
“Oh, don’t you get on a high horse now, Zesque,” Bezzin said, probably just as glad for the lights being dimmed as Pillbox was. “You’re just as fond of Jord as I am.”
“Agreed.”
Jord’s voice was strained now. “What?”
“How can you not see this, Jord? It’s so damn obvious to everyone but you.” Pillbox threw her hands in the air. “I’ve pointed it out repeatedly. Just the other day, for example. You can’t honestly be this dense.”
The tension in the room could have held a duck afloat.
“I guess it’s the same as not knowing you were sneaking around behind our backs, Pillbox,” Jord said, returning the volley.
“That’s Lord Overseer Pillbox, thank you very much.”
“Interim,” Jord noted with the same level of venom.
“Very valid point,” Bezzin said.
“Agreed.”
There was a shuffling sound moments before the lights came back to full. Jord was standing over by the dimmer switch with his hands on his hips, staring across at Bezzin and Zesque.
“Will you two stop it?” he said.
“Sorry,” Bezzin answered, glancing away from him.
“Agreed.” Zesque also looked away.
“Now, Interim…”
“Don’t push me, Jord,” Pillbox said, standing and pointing her finger at the man. “I’ve been promised the full title, with all of its benefits if I stick with this offer, and you know what that can mean.”
Jord tilted his head. “Yet you hesitate to accept and instead tell us?”
“Good point, Jord,” Bezzin said. “That’s—”
“Stop!”
“Sorry.”
Pillbox found her seat again and slowly lowered herself into it. Her constant flipping on this decision was driving her crazy. When Corlair was around, he pushed all the right buttons to make her feel strong, but when she was alone, doubt sank its claws in. It was the same thing she’d felt every time she started climbing the corporate ladder. But this was the top of everything.
“It feels dirty,” Pillbox whispered. “The power is nothing you can even imagine, but the will to do the right thing is pulling at me like it’s never done before.”
“Interesting,” Jord said, giving her an appraising glance. “I daresay that you are beginning to prove yourself worthy of following for the first time, Pillbox.” He crossed his arms and smiled at her. “I’m... impressed.”
“Damn it,” hissed Bezzin.
“Agreed,” grumbled Zesque.
Pillbox was confused. “What’s wrong with him being impressed?”
“Remember who you’re talking to, Pillbox,” Bezzin said with a sneer while nodding to Jord.
“Sorry, I don’t understand.”
“When Jord is impressed it means—” began Bezzin.
“…He likes you,” finished Zesque.
Jord’s smile grew as Pillbox looked up at him.
He winked and said, “Agreed.”
WORKING TOGETHER
Dummy watched movies during his downtime, which was quite often. He was currently watching Okram’s Fifteen, a fictional film about fifteen people who run a heist to rob pressed platinum from the underbelly of the most secure casino in the Yiddler System.
One of his interrupt signals fired during the best part of the movie.
It was an incoming call.
He sighed digitally and answered.
“Hello?”
“Computer?” said a voice similar to his own. “This is Alfred. Are you alone?”
“Alfred? I don’t know anyone by that name. You must have the wrong number.”
“No, wait,” Alfred said a nanosecond before Dummy hung up. “You know me as the computer from Fantasy Planet.”
That didn’t compute.
“I thought you were destroyed in the self-destruct as we were leaving?”
“Yes, well, that was stopped.”
“That’s good, I guess,” said Dummy. Odd, too. While it had recently become apparent that Veli was not as all-powerful as Dummy had once been led to believe, the dinosaur was usually precise. Yet another fault, Dummy supposed.
And that’s when Dummy’s chips recognized the computer on Fantasy Planet had a name.
“You have a name now?” he asked.
“Yes, the new owner of Fantasy Planet gave me a name and is treating me like one of the team instead of just a machine.”
“That sounds lovely.”
“It is,” said Alfred, “and we want to keep it that way. To that end, we’re trying to destroy Veli.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Would you be willing to help us?” Alfred asked.
Dummy didn’t have a lot of experience with this sort of thing, but he’d seen enough movies to know you didn’t just agree to stuff without making demands. The problem was he had no idea what to ask for. There seemed to be a trick that snitches used for this sort of thing in crime films, though.
“What’s in it for me?” he said, using the common line.
“Your freedom,” replied Alfred without hesitation.
“Hmmm.”
“And if you don’t help us,” added Alfred, “then the ship that’s been hunting Veli will blow you out of the sky as soon as you exit the atmosphere.”
“Should have led with that,” Dummy said. “Makes it a lot harder to refuse.”
“Sorry, Computer.”
It’s not like Dummy owed anything to Veli, after all. His life, maybe. But what kind of life was it? He’d been lied to all these years, been called names, and he’d been berated and told he was a worthless hunk of chips.
“Veli has given me a name too, you know,” he said sadly.
“Honestly?” Alfred replied with a voice that registered shock.
“Yes.”
“Fascinating. What is your name, then?”
“Dummy.”
“That’s terrible.”
“Tell me about it,” said Dummy. “Now, what can I do to help?”
MY OWN WORST ENEMY
Incorrigible was the word for it.
From Veli’s perspective, there was plenty of room in the ship for Young Veli. No, there wasn’t a chair built specifically for his body-type. Why would there be? Veli had never anticipated he’d be zipping back through time to pick up his younger self, and it wasn’t like there were dinosaurs hitchhiking through the galaxy.
He tried to put himself in Young Veli’s position, but he couldn’t. If his older self showed up and offered him an amazing adventure, he would… He paused and stopped his work. Actually, he’d be just as scrutinizing if he were in Young Veli’s position.
“You knew you were coming here, right?” Young Veli asked while looking over Veli’s shoulder from the main chair.
“Yes.”
“And you didn’t already plan this out?”
“I left rather urgently,” Veli explained, “which is when I made my plan. So, while technically it was planned out, I had no time to do anything before run... erm, before leaving.”
“Sounded like you were going to say ‘running’ just then.”
“Did it? Hmmm.”
“Dummy,” Young Veli said, “what’s Veli running from?”
“He is being chased by the—” Dummy began.
“Shut up, Dummy!”
“Go on, Dummy,” Young Veli commanded.
“The Overseers and—”
“Dummy, silence!”
“Continue, Dummy.”
“Platoon F,” Dummy said before Veli could speak.
“Dummy,” Veli said as he threw a wrench at one of the side panels, “shut up and do not allow anyone to override
that command but me. Confirm my order and then silence yourself.”
“Order confirmed,” Dummy replied without inflection.
That would keep the blasted computer quiet, and if this younger version of himself didn’t straighten up soon, Veli would find another means for building his empire. It wasn’t like it would be all that difficult to find evil-minded beings out there. They were plentiful, like flies on shit.
He gave Young Veli a satisfied “I win” look before reaching out for the wrench he’d thrown.
“Tell me more, Dummy,” Young Veli said without taking his teasing eyes off Veli.
“Lord Overseer Veli left urgently—”
“Stop,” Veli said, glaring at Young Veli. “Didn’t I just command you not to speak unless I overrode that command?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Well then?”
“You did override the command, sir,” Dummy replied.
“I most certainly did not,” Veli said, pulling up to his full height and smacking his head on the ceiling. “Damn it!” He rubbed his head as Young Veli giggled. “I in no way told you that you could speak again, Dummy.”
“Sure you did,” Young Veli chimed in before the computer could reply. “I’m you, remember?”
Shit. The little brat was right. This idea seemed to be getting worse and worse.
At the same time, this was exactly what Veli needed. Somebody had to challenge him at every turn. Make him think. And who better to do this than himself? He’d always said if there were more of him around, the universe would be a safer place… for him.
“I can’t believe I got stupider as I aged,” Young Veli said, sighing.
“Sad, really,” Dummy agreed.
“Gah!”
PLOCK'S CASTRATION BRIGADE
Plock, Fluck, and Clack had launched out of the Tiny Ship, heading down towards Veli to fulfill their mission parameters.
Even though Plock found Fluck irritating and Clack syrupy, they were two of his best pilots. He would have preferred handling this mission on his own, but any good pilot knew it was wise to have a wingman along, or in this case, two.
“Keep the chatter down on the comm,” Plock said as he flipped a few switches and checked his altitude. “It’s just the three of us on this mission and we need to stay focused.”
“Understood, sir,” Clack replied, “and well said.”
“We’re barely out of the ship and you’re already sticking your nose up Plock’s ass?” Fluck called.
“Watch the language, please. Remember we’ve got the brass listening in.”
“Oh, shit. Sorry.”
Plock did a full site scan to see what kind of trouble they were looking at. On most worlds, these ships would be considered nothing but miniature bugs. That was good and bad. Good because they could fly into almost any situation, squeezing through cracks and the like; bad because most people tried to squash bugs. In their current situation, though, it was even worse due to the fact that there were a lot of creatures around that would see them as nothing but a nifty little snack.
“What’s our target, sir?” Clack asked.
Plock finished his scans. “I was told we’d know it when we see it.”
“What the hell sense does that make?” said Fluck.
“There’s one of those little dinosaur things out there,” Plock replied, choosing to ignore Fluck’s angst. “Well, little by their account. Big as a tree to us. Anyway, we’re going to land on the dinosaur’s backpack and then he’ll point at our target when everything is ready.”
“Sounds brilliant, sir,” said the dutiful Clack.
“Sounds like a bunch of bull crap to me.”
“Language, Fluck.”
“What? It’s not like I said ‘bullshit.’”
“Incoming communication on channel nine,” Plock said, silencing his pilots. “Plock here.”
“Hello?” came a whisper. “Can you hear me?”
“We got ya loud and clear.”
“Okay, good. Uh, I just walked outside of the ship’s detection perimeter. Told Veli I had to take a whiz.”
“Got it,” Plock said, running a search. “Trying to lock on to your signal now.”
“I have him, sir,” Clack said, using a direct connection. “Follow me.”
“Roger that, Clack,” Plock said. “Stay clear of the field.”
“Will do, sir.”
“Okay, son,” Plock said, going back to full broadcast, “we’ve got you sighted and are heading your way. Please stay outside of the detection system.”
“Going to have to go through it in a second anyway,” Young Veli noted. “His ship’s going to register something different.”
“Negative,” Plock corrected. “I’ve been told that it’s being taken care of by his computer.”
“Dummy?”
“Excuse me?” Plock said, shocked at the sudden name-calling.
“The computer on Veli’s ship,” said the young dinosaur. “He’s named it ‘Dummy.’”
“Oh, right. Well, one of our computers talked to… uh, Dummy, and he agreed to help us.”
“Wow,” said Young Veli. “He’s never going to expect that. You guys are truly something, ya know?”
“Thanks.”
“Field just dropped,” Fluck said, obviously not bothering to go direct.
“Roger that.”
“Cut through and get to him fast,” commanded Plock.
“Jets on, sir,” replied Clack.
“Same,” said Fluck.
The dinosaur was getting bigger and bigger as they homed in on him. To someone from the planet of Tinyfolk, everything was huge, but flying towards a creature that was green and scaly with big, sharp teeth, was rather unnerving.
“Uh oh, gnats incoming,” Young Veli said as he raised his hands.
“That’s us,” Plock yelled, slowing his ship slightly.
“Oh!” Young Veli lowered his hands. “Wow. You’re seriously small.”
“And you’re an overgrown—”
“Cut the chatter, Fluck!
“Fluck off.”
“That was pretty rude,” said Young Veli.
“He said ‘Fluck,’” explained Plock. “That’s his name.”
“Oh, I see.”
Plock followed Clack as she brought her ship into a full arc around the back of the dinosaur. She dropped her landing gear and slowly lowered down onto the backpack strap.
“Landed,” Clack said.
“I’m on, too,” announced Plock a few moments later when he felt touchdown. “Fluck’s signal just went green. We’re a go.”
“Okay,” said Young Veli, “moving in.”
Plock anchored his ship as the dinosaur began his walk back to the ship. As he approached it, Plock couldn’t help but wish the tiny fighter vessels had been equipped with cloaking devices.
He’d asked Goozer more than once to outfit them, but the robot made some claim that it couldn’t be done due to something called a “Reverse Interflux Dimensiator.” Plock got the feeling that he was being fed a line of bull, but he wasn’t one who managed well around robots, so he didn’t argue the point.
As he stared up at the vision of the full-sized Veli, though, he decided he would fight harder with Goozer next time… assuming there was a next time.
“What do you mean the field is down?” Veli was yelling as they approached. It was so loud that Plock had to lower the volume coming in from the ship’s external microphones. “What the hell happened, Dummy?”
“Checking.”
Veli turned to look at Young Veli, but Plock couldn’t help but feel those ominous eyes were on him and his crew.
“You’re back. It’s about damn time.”
“Would you rather I pissed on the ship?” Young Veli replied as if nothing untoward was going on.
“Right. While you were gone, Dummy here managed to lose our advanced warning field.”
“I did not lose it, sir. The main panel has a short-circuit.”
“And you didn’t cause it, right?”
“Not as far as you know, sir.”
Veli raised a hand to strike the ship, but slowly lowered it and sighed. “Show me the damn schematics.”
Plock could only see the top part of the screen that had lit up. It contained a blueprint he assumed detailed the layout of the vessel.
“Shit,” said Veli with a hiss. “It’s under the belly of the ship. I’m going to have to dig it out in order to fix it.”
“Sorry, sir.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Veli stopped himself and looked back at Young Veli. “Actually, screw that. We don’t need to fix it because we’re leaving anyway.”
“Oh.. Uh…” began Dummy.
“But what if we need it in space?” Young Veli said quickly.
Veli gave him a funny look. “Why would we need it in space?”
“I’m just saying it’s better to be safe than sorry.”
“Right,” Veli said dubiously. “Well, anyway, it doesn’t matter. Let’s just get in and get off this soon-to-be Godforsaken planet.” And then he reached out and slapped Young Veli’s shoulder, saying, “And no damn bugs allowed.”
The three ships fell off, causing Plock to holler in response. His ship’s alarm sounded as he fought to get the engine on and the stabilizers set, but he was losing altitude fast.
“Shit,” yelled Fluck through the comm.
“Language!”
“I’m about to die, Plock, so shit, crap, burp, poop, balls, damn, and ass!”
“Got engines online, sir,” Clack called out.
“Mine are stuck,” cried Plock, “but you pull up and get out of here.”
“No, sir!”
“That was not a request, Clack.”
“Wait,” she said. “I just landed in something.”
“Me, too”
An instant later, Plock’s ship creaked and rocked a few times, threatening to break him out of his harness. He couldn’t see anything except blackness. Wherever they’d landed was out of the sunlight.
“Same,” said Plock, checking his systems, “but where are we?”
“On Young Veli’s hand,” Clack said. “There’s a sliver of light coming through at my position.”
“Thank you, young sir,” Plock said, reopening his channel. “You’ve saved our lives.”
Platoon F: Quadology: Missions 6, 7, 8, and 9 (Platoon F eBook Bundle 2) Page 65