Lost in You

by Jules Bennett

  Out of sight, out of mind . . . right?

  * * *

  Macy settled Lucy into her high chair. Of course the stuffed dog was nestled right against her. The social worker had called earlier, checking in. So far, Lucy had adjusted remarkably well, considering. Being so young, she couldn’t comprehend exactly what had happened, which was both a blessing and a harsh reality.

  This poor baby would never remember her mother. Macy recognized that bedtime was rough, so she made sure to rock her, to sing to her, anything she could think of that was calming, nurturing. All the things Macy’s mother had done for her.

  “How about some peaches?” Macy asked.

  She cut up some fresh peaches she’d picked up at the farmer’s market earlier. When spring hit, the vendors set up in the park and offered fresh produce, homemade products, and a variety of handmade items. Since her father had been at the store most of the day, Macy managed to sneak out with Lucy and take her to the park to check out the goods.

  Of course people cooed over the sweet baby, making Macy’s heart soar. She already loved this little girl. There was no way to detach from all the feelings that accompanied being her caregiver.

  Macy set the tiny, bite-sized pieces on the high-chair tray. Lucy immediately grabbed one and shoved it into her mouth. Once she chewed that, her slobbery hand reached for another.

  “We have a winner,” Macy muttered as she cut off a chunk of fruit for herself.

  The green beans earlier had been a big, giant no. The green mess might never be fully cleaned from her office at the store. Macy had brought in some leftovers for her lunch and decided to get some veggies into Lucy. Clearly this girl was all about her fruits and the greens could take a hike.

  Macy had just sliced up more tiny bites when her doorbell rang. She threw a glance to the clock on the oven and realized it was a little later than she’d thought. She’d actually left the store early when her father decided he’d help show Brock how to close out the register. Macy had been hesitant, but figured her father wanted that time with Brock. It was good for the teen to be working for someone other than his adoptive family. He was a remarkable kid, and from what she’d seen so far, he was going to be quite an asset to her business.

  She felt silly calling Brock a kid. He was practically an adult, with life experiences nobody should have had to endure.

  Macy grabbed a towel and wiped her hands. The sticky juice from the peaches clung to her fingers, but she’d wash them in a bit.

  Time to greet her guest.

  When she pulled the door open, Liam stood there with his arm wrapped around a huge box. Macy quickly went to take it.

  “I’ve got it.”

  Fine. She wasn’t going to argue. She moved back, opening the door wider as she gestured for him to come in.

  “I wasn’t sure what all you had, so I tried to grab everything I could think of.”

  He headed straight for the island. Lucy’s eyes widened when she saw him. Immediately, Macy went to her and picked up a piece of the peach to show her that everything was just fine and normal.

  Liam sat the box on the counter and glanced around. “I can get most of this started. I’ll just yell when I need you.”

  “That’s fine. She’s had dinner. I just wanted to give her a snack. She seems a little more content when she’s preoccupied with something.”

  Liam stared at the little girl. “Is she . . . has she been okay?”

  There was no hiding the hurt in his tone. The hurt of losing his mother, then the years that followed, had clearly shaped the man who stood before her. Did anyone ever recover from such a tragedy?

  “She’s done considerably well.”

  Macy picked up another piece and held it to Lucy’s lips. She’d yet to take her eyes off the new guest. Macy understood where she was coming from. Liam was a hard man to ignore.

  “And you?” he asked, his eyes meeting hers. “How have you been with her?”

  “We survived our first day at the store,” Macy told him with a smile. “Having Dad and Brock helped, though.”

  “You didn’t tell me Brock was going to work for you when I was here yesterday.”

  With his good hand propped on the counter, that scar, and those dark eyes, Liam looked every bit the hard man he wanted to portray. Macy knew better. She knew it bugged him that he hadn’t known what was going on in his own family.

  “It didn’t come up,” she said, shrugging.

  He started to say something else, but just shook his head and started unloading the box. Macy finished feeding Lucy, and by the time she was done, they were both sticky with the combination of peach juice and drool.

  “I need to wash her off.” She pulled the tray off and sat it in the farm-style sink. “Will you need me in the next ten minutes?”

  Liam had already pulled out a huge mixing bowl and was tossing in ingredients like a champ with his one hand. “I’m okay for now.”

  The tension between them rattled her. The sexual tension they’d initially started with was at least something she could handle, like a stepping stone, because she knew where they’d been heading. Right now? She had no clue what was going on. Part of her wanted to hold out some sliver of hope that he’d stay, but in her heart she knew he wouldn’t.

  And even knowing all of that, she couldn’t just turn off her feelings for him. She’d never felt this way about another man in her entire life. He was everything; he’d shown her everything. How could he think what they had wasn’t special enough to fight for?

  After stripping Lucy, Macy sat her in the tub and ran the smallest amount of lukewarm water. She tossed in a few toys and let her splash around for a bit. Macy squatted down, picked up a plastic fish and filled it with water. Squeezing the toy, water shot out the fish’s mouth and onto Lucy’s belly. The little girl giggled, warming Macy’s heart. She wanted her to keep smiling, to play and have as normal a childhood as possible.

  “You’re good with her.”

  Macy jerked around to Liam leaning against the door frame.

  “She loves the bath,” Macy stated.

  Suddenly this all seemed too much like a family. Too much like what she’d always wanted. Yet the two people in this room who owned pieces of her heart were only temporary. They’d both go and Macy would be left to heal on her own.

  “Did you need me?” Macy asked, turning back to squirt Lucy once again.

  “Yeah. I do.”

  The huskiness of his tone had Macy stilling. She closed her eyes, hating how fast she could melt at just the way he spoke. Her body shivered as if he’d touched her.

  “I’ll be done in a second.”

  She couldn’t turn back to look at him, didn’t want him to look in her eyes and see all of the emotions, because there was no way she could hide them. Quickly rinsing the suds off Lucy, Macy let the water out and reached for the hooded duck towel. After she wrapped her all up and scooped her out of the tub, Macy turned . . . and Liam still remained in the doorway.

  Definitely too close to a family moment.

  His dark eyes held her in place and Macy wasn’t even sure she was fully taking in a breath. The squirming baby in her arms was the only thing that kept her grounded and focused on the fact she and Liam were not alone. No matter if they were, though, she couldn’t go down that path again with him. And, honestly, she didn’t know if she had the willpower to tell him no.

  Macy started forward, thankful when he stepped aside and let her pass. Just as she went by, Lucy reached for Liam. His eyes widened as he stared at the outstretched arms, but he didn’t hesitate in submitting to the innocence of the sweet girl.

  Liam slid his strong hands around the wrapped towel and pulled the little girl to his chest. Macy couldn’t help but smile and just accept the familiar burn that came along with all the crazy emotions lately.

  “She likes you.”

  Lucy laid her head against Liam’s shoulder and started sucking her thumb. As much as Macy wanted to continue to watch this big, str
ong man hold a vulnerable child, she could only handle so much.

  She eased between Liam and the door and headed into Lucy’s room to pull out some clothes. Liam came in behind her, murmuring something to Lucy. Concentrating on the diaper and pajamas, Macy went to the crib.

  “You can just put her in here. I’ll be out in a minute.”

  Liam threw her a glance. “Pushing me out?”

  “Just trying to keep some distance.”

  Why not go for honesty? At this point, why play a game? She wasn’t going to hide her feelings.

  Shaking his head, Liam laid Lucy down in her crib. “This was a bad idea.”

  Lucy tugged part of the duck towel into her mouth, sucking on the fake beak. Macy quickly put the diaper on and reached for the bottle of lotion in the basket at the base of the crib.

  “What part are you referring to?” she asked as she lathered unscented lotion onto Lucy’s little legs and arms. “Us sleeping together or you pretending this means nothing to you?”

  “Sleeping with you wasn’t a mistake,” he retorted immediately. “The mistake was me thinking we could work together on the cake. I’ll figure out a way to do it on my own.”

  When he turned to go, Macy called to him. “I’m going to help you. I love your brothers, I love Cora and Sophie. I’m doing this for them. Don’t be pissed when you caused all of this yourself.”

  He took off down the hallway and Macy was sure she heard him mutter, “Maybe I’m pissed at myself.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Finally the wedding day had arrived. The cake was done and Macy had painstakingly spent way too many hours rolling fondant, cutting fondant, cursing fondant.

  If she never saw that hellish icing again, she’d die a happy woman.

  The truce she and Liam had called was definitely the only way she’d gotten through the week unscathed. But that didn’t mean that each evening he came over didn’t leave her wanting more. Even Lucy kept reaching for him, getting used to him.

  Thankfully, though, Lucy had fallen in love with Phil, too, so at least there was a man in her life who wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon.

  Macy had let Phil run the store during the morning, then they posted a sign they’d be closing early due to family. And the Monroes were so much like family to Macy. She loved each of them, felt a connection just the same as if they were blood related.

  As she turned from side to side, studying her image in the full-length mirror in one of the guest rooms at Bella Vous, Macy decided she actually loved her dress. Loved it even more because the vintage lace looked adorable with her boots. The outdoorsy wedding would be perfect for her bridesmaid look.

  The cream lace she’d chosen made her skin look a bit darker, as if she’d actually gotten a tan. As if she ever had time for such things. She’d opted to leave her hair down, curling the ends. A simple amount of shadow and gloss was all she committed to in the makeup department. She looked feminine, but still comfortable. Granted, her favorite lingerie beneath the dress always managed to make her feel sexy.

  And she was going to be standing up with two brides, so it wasn’t like anyone would notice her anyway.

  Smoothing her hands down her dress, she went across the hall where Sophie and Cora were getting ready. Sophie had just zipped up the side of Cora’s dress and stepped back.

  “Wow.” Macy froze in the doorway. “You two are absolutely gorgeous.”

  Both brides turned.

  Sophie lifted her satin A-line skirt and shifted back from Cora. “I’m so nervous,” she said with a laugh. “I don’t know why. I’ve waited for this day for years.”

  “Well, Zach and Braxton are not going to be able to concentrate on vows with the sight of you two.”

  Cora slid her hands down the sides of her dress. “I love how this feels. I wanted something vintage and classy.”

  “Lace is the way to go,” Sophie agreed.

  While Cora’s dress was straight with a short train and completely covered in elegant lace, Sophie’s was smooth silk with just a touch of lace across the bust and scalloped edging over her shoulders.

  A pang of jealousy hit Macy. She couldn’t be happier for her friends, but at the same time, she wondered if she’d ever have this moment for herself.

  “And speaking of gorgeous, wait until Liam sees you.” Sophie stepped in front of the vanity and picked up a set of pearl earrings. “He’s not going to be able to keep his hands off of you.”

  Macy laughed. “I wouldn’t bet on that.”

  Cora felt along the edge of the king-sized bed until she reached the end and faced Macy. “Is this because he’s leaving? Savannah isn’t that far away.”

  “It might as well be Alaska.” Macy stepped into the room, heading to the dresser where their flowers were all laid out. She fingered the delicate petals. “We want different things.”

  “But you want each other. That’s pretty difficult to ignore,” Cora countered.

  More like impossible.

  “Well, I can’t make him stay and I won’t ask him to.” Why did her chest ache when she said those words? Why did every aspect of her life lately circle back to Liam, to the mess they’d gotten themselves in? “Besides, we both knew this wasn’t going to last.”

  “I’m sure you agreed to that before you fell in love,” Cora murmured. “Am I correct?”

  Macy bit her lip, pushing beyond the hurt. “Yes.”

  Pulling in a deep breath, Macy realized this was not the time or the place to get into her issues. She would not ruin this day for the people she loved, the people who deserved all the happiness in the world.

  “Let’s not focus on any of that.” Macy picked up her bouquet of fresh hydrangeas. “Today the sun is shining, the guests are arriving, and you two are the most gorgeous brides I’ve ever seen.”

  “Where’s Lucy?” Sophie asked as she adjusted her pearl necklace, her gaze meeting Macy’s in the mirror.

  “Dad took her for a walk. I didn’t want her to get too restless, and if she’s in her stroller, she’ll probably fall asleep.”

  “You seem to be adjusting with her in your life.” Cora grabbed Heidi’s collar, which had been wrapped in cream satin ribbons. “Has the social worker said if there’s a potential life family for her?”

  “Her grandmother in Texas has been notified, but I’m not sure if she wants to take Lucy.” Macy gripped the ribboned stems in her hands. “I, um . . . I sort of requested that I could be a contender for adoption.”

  She’d not told anyone yet, not even her father. She didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, but at the same time she seriously needed a support team. What if this didn’t work out? Yes, there would be other children and she’d known going in that there would be ups and downs and inevitable good-byes. She just didn’t want to let Lucy go.

  “Oh, Macy, that’s wonderful.” Sophie spun from the vanity, her hands clasped together. “Lucy is one lucky little girl to have someone like you in her life.”

  That’s what Macy was banking on social services thinking, and maybe the grandmother didn’t want to take in such a young child.

  “Don’t say anything,” Macy added. “You guys are the only two who know.”

  “We won’t say a word,” Cora promised. “I’d better get downstairs. I’m sure my mother wants to see me before the ceremony and I told her to wait in the parlor.”

  Sophie shrugged. “Since my parents still disapprove of Zach, they aren’t coming. I have no worries today.”

  Macy knew Sophie and her parents had always had a strained relationship, but to not come to your own daughter’s wedding? Zach was the best thing that had ever happened to Sophie and she totally completed him.

  “Let me help you down the steps,” Macy offered Cora. But she knew Cora prided herself on being independent, so Macy quickly added, “I know you are well aware of how to get around, but if you tripped on that lace train and fell, Braxton would not be a happy groom.”

  Cora held out her hand. “I will gladly le
t you escort me. The last thing I want is to trip over this dress and tear it.”

  Sophie gathered the two other bouquets. The bundles of tight lilacs and white roses were simple, yet elegant. “I guess it’s showtime?”

  “Let’s go get married,” Cora stated with a wide grin.

  Once she made it through this day, Macy could focus on Lucy, on the store, on teaching Brock more of the little details that went into the business.

  And Liam. There would have to be a recovery period when he left and she needed to brace herself for that. She knew full well it was coming.

  As she started down the steps at Cora’s side, Macy pushed all thoughts of Liam to the back of her mind . . . or as far as she was able to.

  * * *

  So much for pushing all thoughts of this man away. She not only had to walk up and down the makeshift aisle leading toward the pond with Liam as her escort, she also had to face him during the vows.

  Macy had tried to concentrate on the couples, on the beauty of the day and all that this new beginning symbolized. She focused on her father, who sat with a sleeping Lucy on his lap. Anything so she didn’t have to look directly at Liam, because standing there, listening to declarations of love, was making her chest ache, her mind filling with thoughts of what-if scenarios.

  Now that the ceremony was over, the guests had left and the married couples had gone on their ways—to destinations they were not disclosing. Macy wanted to help clean up so Cora and Sophie didn’t have a worry. Phil offered to take Lucy back to the house and play with her. Brock was a huge help and so was Liam, one hand and all.

  Brock stacked the chairs and managed to get them all in the storage room. Liam worked in the dining room and kitchen and Macy went through the house straightening each room that guests had mingled in.

  Once she was satisfied the house was back in order, Macy went out the patio doors off the dining room. Dishes clanked in the kitchen, but she couldn’t go in there. Facing Liam right now wasn’t smart and she really just wanted some fresh air.

  She’d had to watch him all day. See him laugh with guests, hold his drink in his right hand because his left was still bandaged, and he’d throw her an occasional side-eye that had her insides churning and her head spinning.