The Sea Shell Girl

by Linda Finlay

  As Grozen stared at her sagely, Merry couldn’t help smiling, for hadn’t she said the very same thing to her grandmother after Ma Somers had died?

  Over the next few days, Merry made a supreme effort to pull herself together. Despite her best intentions to help her grandmother, however, she only succeeded in annoying her.

  ‘You’re getting under my feet and on my nerves with all this fussing. I’m quite capable of preparing a simple meal,’ the woman snapped as Merry picked up the carrots she was about to scrape. ‘Why not go out for a walk or something?’

  ‘I went to see Mother earlier,’ Merry sighed, for there’d still been no sign and, despite her reservations about Cador, she had secretly been hoping for one.

  Slowly they picked up the threads of their old life. Mr Fairbright, whilst disappointed Merry wasn’t returning to her old job, agreed she could go back to knitting her frocks with the shell pattern. She didn’t feel up to joining the others in the shelter of the pig house. Their giggling and gossiping seemed infantile and frivolous now. Instead she spent her time sitting beside the fire with her grandmother. Occasionally the woman would mention her mother but mostly they would knit in companionable silence, lost in their own thoughts and memories. When pictures of a handsome man in naval uniform invaded her mind, she pushed them firmly away.

  One day, she was on her way back from visiting the cliff top when Nicco fell into step beside her.

  ‘How are you, Merry?’ he asked, his dark eyes serious for once.

  ‘All right, I guess. How about you?’ she asked politely.

  ‘Missing you,’ he muttered. ‘We begin salting the pilchards up at the pallace tomorrow. Your grandmother says you’re not returning to Plymouth so will you come and join us?’

  Her heart sank, but knowing they needed to make up for the weeks after her mother had gone when they’d not earned anything, she nodded.

  His eyes lit up. ‘We could go for a drive in the trap at the weekend, if you like?’ When she remained silent he continued. ‘A trip out of the village would do you good, Merry,’ he cajoled in the voice he used when wanting his own way.

  ‘I’m not ready for that, Nicco, but I will see you at the pallace tomorrow evening.’

  ‘It’s good to have you back in the village, Merry. I would have visited more often but Father said you needed time to grieve.’ Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she nodded. ‘Well, the boats are in, I see, so I’ll see you tomorrow.’

  Merry watched him go, then stared around the bustling harbour as if noticing it for the first time. Some men were busy unloading their catch, others sat on the wall overhauling their nets. The weigh machine was being prepared and children ran happily around. She looked up at the imposing house on the hill and shook her head. Everything was the same and yet her life had changed so much. She remembered the times she’d stood here dreaming of her future, planning how she’d escape from the village and make her way in the world. For a while she’d succeeded, yet here she was back again. As painful memories surfaced, the blanket of fog descended, engulfing her once again in its cold, dismal mantle.

  Grozen was pleased when Merry told her she’d be returning to the fish factory. She felt strangely nervous as she made her way there but was joined by Ailla and Marya. Their friendly chatter helped her relax and, as if by tacit consent, no mentioned was made of Karenza.

  ‘We’re going to be busy tonight for they are saying this is the largest haul they’ve ever had,’ Ailla said.

  ‘They’d better be careful how many they net or one day there’ll be no pilchards left in the sea,’ Marya joked. Then her expression changed. ‘We’ve missed you, Merry. How are you?’

  ‘Surviving,’ she said, trying to keep her voice light. ‘Everyone’s been very kind. Oh, look, we’re here already.’

  The other women were already inside and spirits were high at the thought of the money to be earned. They greeted Merry warmly, then set about the salting process. She had forgotten how hard it was building up the bank to the required depth and before long her back was aching from the unaccustomed stooping. Nicco made a point of smiling every time he passed and even if she hadn’t seen the nudges the other women were giving each other, it would have been hard not to hear their teasing comments.

  ‘Do you think they’ll be walking out again soon?’ Tressa asked.

  ‘Not if I have anything to do with it,’ Wyllow muttered. ‘She can’t just strut back in here as if nothing’s changed.’

  ‘Don’t know why you’re worrying; Nicco made a point of ignoring your little invitations,’ Kelys pointed out. ‘Quite right too. It’s unseemly the way you’ve been throwing yourself at him.’

  ‘Things have changed since your day, old woman,’ Wyllow pouted.

  Merry shook her head. Nothing had changed around here – apart from her mother being gone, of course.

  By the end of the evening her hands were red and sore, and she grimaced, remembering how Prunella had lent her the wonderful cream that had made them smooth again. With a pang she realized just how much she missed her life at the store and the new friends she’d made. Still, she’d promised she wouldn’t leave Grozen and now she’d just have to adjust to her life here. Perhaps she could make her own salve, she mused.

  ‘Walk you home?’ Nicco asked, appearing by her side. Without waiting for an answer he fell into step beside her.

  ‘You did well tonight. It’s almost as if you’ve never been away, but then this is your home.’

  The memory of linking arms with her mother as they returned to the cottage popped into her mind and Merry swallowed down a lump in her throat.

  ‘Yes, and I must go and make sure Grozen is all right,’ she said, quickening her pace.

  ‘I’ve really missed you, Merry,’ he began. ‘Whilst I’m sorry about … well, you know, it’s good to have you back. Now that you’ve got that travelling thing out of the way, I want you to know my offer of marriage still stands. I’m sure that you will see what a good opportunity I’m offering you.’

  Merry frowned. He really was as pompous as ever.

  ‘Nicco …’ she began but, as ever, he ignored her.

  ‘I understand that Lieutenant Meredith’s disappeared back to sea. Good riddance, too, for they say a sailor has a girl to comfort him in every port and that must be hard on his betrothed, don’t you think?’ He turned to Merry and quirked his brow but she turned away. Carey had told her about his father’s dalliances and the thought he could be like that too hurt her more than she could ever have imagined.

  ‘See you tomorrow,’ she muttered, throwing open the door to the cottage and hurrying inside.

  ‘Was that young Nicco?’ Grozen asked, looking up from her knitting. Merry nodded. ‘It wouldn’t have hurt to invite him in for a hot drink.’

  ‘Sorry, Grozen, but I’m worn out. I’ll see you in the morning,’ she replied, bending and kissing the woman’s cheek.

  ‘You do look pale. I hope you haven’t overdone it?’

  Merry shook her head and, wanting to be alone with her thoughts, ran up the stairs.

  Lying in the darkness, she heard Nicco’s words going round and round in her mind. Carey’s adoptive father had hurt her mother so much her life had been blighted. Surely his son, even an adopted one, could have the same traits. Then there was Nicco’s preposterous assumption she’d be grateful he still wanted to marry her. Why should she even want to tie herself to any man? She’d stay single and be in charge of her own destiny, she resolved. But a picture of Carey and his gentle smile sprang unbidden into her mind and no matter how much she tried to ignore it, refused to go away.

  CHAPTER 39

  Spring turned to early summer and apart from the addition of her daily pilgrimage, life settled back into its familiar routine. Where once she’d found it boring, now Merry welcomed the repetitive pattern that kept her too busy to think. Her greatest challenge was trying to avoid Nicco. He’d seen her crying one day when she returned from the cliff top and offered his
shoulder to cry on. Now, it seemed he had taken it upon himself to wait at the bottom of the path each morning and escort her back to the cottage. Although on the surface he seemed considerate and caring, Merry couldn’t help feeling he had an ulterior motive and was biding his time.

  One morning, she was leaving the cottage at first light, when he fell into step beside her.

  ‘Morning, Merry.’

  ‘Nicco, what are you doing here this early?’ she asked, staring at him in surprise.

  ‘It’s going to be a beautiful day so I thought I’d walk up to the cliff with you.’

  ‘Shouldn’t you be down on the quay?’

  He shrugged. ‘I want to speak to you whilst no one’s around.’

  She stared at him, her heart sinking when she saw the determined look in his eyes.

  ‘Look, Merry, it’s been a while since Karenza died and I think I’ve been patient enough.’ At the sound of her mother’s name she felt the familiar stab in her chest. ‘I feel it is high time we got married.’

  ‘But …’ she began.

  ‘Think of the fun you’ll have setting up our home. You’ll have a good life here in the village,’ he continued regardless.

  She shook her head. ‘I don’t think …’ she began.

  ‘It has always been my intention to marry you and it’s what your mother wanted,’ he reminded her.

  Knowing it was true, she sighed. ‘So much has changed since then,’ she replied.

  ‘Like what?’ he demanded.

  ‘I’ve changed, Nicco. As I’ve already told you, I have no intention of marrying anyone ever.’

  ‘That’s rubbish and you know it. All women want a ring on their finger, the respectability of marriage …’

  ‘I need to go to Mother,’ she said quickly. ‘I’ll see you up at the pallace this evening.’ She turned towards the path.

  ‘You might not. Father’s given me the task of dealing with the shipping out of the barrels, so I shall have to spend more time supervising things down on the quay,’ he said, puffing out his chest importantly. Her heart lifted. Praise be to Mr Neaple. ‘Of course, I’ll insist he pays me more for the responsibility,’ he added, looking at her meaningfully. ‘In fact, I’ll go and see him now. Tell him I need the money to set up a home for us.’

  Merry groaned in exasperation. Feeling like a fish in a net that was closing around her neck, she hurried up the path. How mean he was mentioning her mother like that. It was tantamount to blackmail. Yet as she climbed higher, she couldn’t help wondering if he was right, after all. Her mother had wanted her to marry him. A shudder ran through her at the thought. She’d bide her time and keep out of his way until she’d thought everything through. With any luck, he’d be occupied overseeing the barrels onto the boats when she went to work that evening and she wouldn’t have to see him.

  Reaching the spot where her mother had gone over the edge, she threw herself down on the rough grass. If only you could tell me what to do, Mother, she thought, idly plucking at the wild campion and thrift. Staring down at the pink and white flowers in her hands, she couldn’t help recalling how her mother had loved their bright colours. Deftly she fashioned them into a little posy then tossed it down to the beach below. It spiralled its way down the cliff side and she watched as it landed on the spot her mother had.

  ‘Oh, Mother, will life ever get better?’ she cried, but as ever it was the gulls that screeched in reply.

  How she wished she could stay here away from everyone and everything. Then reason returned and, knowing she had a busy morning ahead, she turned and hurried back down the path. Both she and Grozen had knit frocks to complete before Mr Fairbright made his regular visit to the village. Although the pattern came naturally to her, her heart wasn’t in it and she knew she needed to make more effort. Grozen kept urging her to join in with the knitting ladies again, saying the company would do her good. So far she’d managed to resist.

  Hearing voices coming from inside the cottage, she paused on the doorstep. Then she heard a familiar chuckle that set her pulses racing. Surely that was Carey? Then the door was thrown open and there he was, resplendent in his uniform, standing before her.

  ‘Merryn, it’s lovely to see you again. How are you?’ he asked. As he stared at her in the way that made her feel she was the only woman in the world, her heart gave another jolt. Hardly daring to believe he was here, she beamed in delight, and as he grinned back, her heart leaped. Then in a snap, memories of their last meeting came flooding back and like the early morning mist, her euphoria evaporated.

  ‘I’m well, thank you, but extremely busy,’ she added briskly, indicating her pins and wool on the table. He frowned at the abrupt change in her manner.

  ‘Mr Fairbright told me you’ve returned to your knitting. As soon as my ship docked I went to the store but, of course, you weren’t there.’

  ‘Nor will I ever be. My place is here with Grozen. She needs looking after.’

  ‘Piffle,’ the woman scoffed. ‘And where are your manners, Merryn Dyer? The good lieutenant’s come all this way to see you, yet you leave him standing in the middle of the room. The least you can do is offer him a seat and refreshment.’

  ‘I don’t wish to impose, Mrs Dyer,’ Carey said.

  ‘Friends never do. Now sit yourself down, young man. You’ll have to excuse me, though, for I was just off out when you called.’

  Merry stared at her grandmother in surprise. ‘You never said you were going anywhere.’ But she was talking to fresh air for Grozen had already shut the door firmly behind her. For a long moment Merry and Carey stood facing each other awkwardly across the room.

  ‘I won’t stay long, Merryn. I just need to satisfy myself you are all right,’ he said, looking at her enquiringly.

  She shrugged, for a lump had risen in her throat and she couldn’t speak.

  ‘I have spent the time at sea thinking of you, dreaming of you, even. Dare I hope you might have given me a passing thought?’ When she shook her head, he sighed. ‘I was hoping time might have healed the gap between us.’

  ‘Time the big healer?’ She gave a hollow laugh. ‘Well, it hasn’t eased the pain of Mother’s death and the fact still remains she wouldn’t have died if we hadn’t met.’

  He flinched at her words. ‘Believe you me, I have done nothing but blame myself. If I’d persisted in telling her I was adopted …’

  ‘But you didn’t,’ she replied. ‘And if I’d not insisted on going to work in Plymouth in the first place then none of this would have happened.’

  ‘Mr Fairbright said you have a promising future and has promised to keep your job open for you for when you are ready to return,’ he said, staring at her hopefully.

  ‘He already knows I have decided to stay with Grozen and he has permitted me to return to my knitting. Grozen needs the money I bring in to help pay the rent, and now the pilchards are here I’m salting up at the pallace as well.’

  ‘There isn’t any need for that now, Merryn,’ he said, fishing in the pocket of his jacket and drawing out a silk kerchief. Carefully unfolding it, he drew out her mother’s necklace and held it up. She flinched as the memories of her mother wearing it came flooding back. ‘As I suspected, this is one of the Old Meredith sapphires and worth a considerable amount,’ he said, holding it out to her.

  ‘And you think money will make up for Mother’s death? Or is it some sop to salve your conscience for your father’s deception?’ she asked, keeping her hands firmly by her sides.

  ‘No, of course it’s not,’ he cried. ‘It was given to your mother by Father and now by rights it’s yours,’ he said, holding it before her.

  ‘He ruined my mother’s life,’ she whispered, making no move to take it.

  ‘Yes, I know, and others besides. That is why you must believe me when I say I would never do anything to hurt you, Merryn. Now please …’ he coaxed moving closer.

  She shook her head and took a step backwards.

  ‘You obviously need more time
to come to terms with things but I am a patient man.’ He paused, a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. When she didn’t respond, it vanished in an instant. ‘Oh, Merryn, you are the most important person in my life and it is my dearest wish that one day you will become my wife. I shall go now but I beg you, please think over what I’ve said.’ He paused again and she forced herself to nod but still couldn’t say anything. He sighed.

  ‘In the meantime, please take what is rightfully yours,’ he begged, once again holding out the necklace. Merry stared at the blue stone twinkling in the shaft of sunlight that filtered through the window.

  ‘Mother would never have accepted that if she’d known it was valuable.’

  ‘Perhaps that was his way of showing he cared,’ Carey murmured, taking a step towards her, then sighing as she backed away.

  ‘Look, had my father married your mother …’

  ‘But he didn’t. He didn’t even have the decency to tell Mother he was married,’ she snapped, glaring at him. A heavy silence descended until finally he shook his head.

  ‘I will keep it for now,’ he said, tucking it carefully into his kerchief and placing it back in his pocket. ‘I have made arrangements to stay here in Porthsallos and will return when you are calmer. In the meantime, Merryn dearest, please take the greatest care of yourself.’ He paused, hoping for an answer, but she turned away.

  Holding herself rigid, she stared into the fire until she heard the door click behind him. Then, with a sob, she ran upstairs, threw herself down on the bed and cried until she had no tears left. She didn’t hear the bedroom door open and was only aware of her grandmother sitting beside her when she patted her shoulder.

  ‘Come along, Merry, your mother wouldn’t want you to take on so. I saw Carey on my way home. He looked that unhappy I had to ask what was wrong. He told me about your mother’s necklace. Who’d have thought it, eh?’

  ‘I’ll not take it,’ she whispered.