Far-out Show (9781465735829)

by Hanna, Thomas

  Adam said, “I rented both a video and a still picture camera. Here I go.” He nodded and dashed across the street and in among the trees at this end of the C-shaped woods, stalking Nerber the way he had seen characters in movies act.

  Edith watched him go, rolling her eyes at his conspicuous and exaggerated manner. Then she remembered Brownowski who had wandered off down the street the way the taxi had gone. She decided that, tempting as it was, she shouldn’t leave the old woman on her own. She sighed and went to retrieve and redirect Mimi to where she herself could keep an eye on the other woman with a camera in case intervention to thwart that one’s plans was called for.

  CHAPTER 13

  Jones sat on the bench happily consuming his tacos to the beat of the music on his iPod.

  Krinkle was alone in the gazebo, his distress showing as he made a feeble kick at the cartons at his feet that held the Fodd and his jammer. He grumbled to himself, “Secret weapon, my foot. A static detector's all the Fodd is. The needle keeps quivering but there are no ETs around here. I hate to disappoint Zippedy by letting him see me like this but I'm close to being despondent. I should think happy thoughts to cheer me up but I need positive results, not wishful thinking.”

  Nerber called tentatively, “Hello. Being you a niceness guy?”

  Krinkle spun around to find Nerber squatting among the shrubs planted around the outside of the gazebo. Wilburps hovered by his side. He had moved over from among the trees but stopped there to be less noticeable and vulnerable as he tested the welcome.

  Krinkle said, “You startled me, mister. I didn't know anybody was around here as I...uh, practiced my lines for a play. Yeah, a show.”

  “I was in my own thoughts and did not listen but certain am I that you were lining well. How is today for you? Is politeness to ask, yes?”

  Krinkle nonchalantly picked up the Fodd to move it where it would be less conspicuous - but bobbled and almost dropped it when he saw the high reading it was giving. “Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Maybe things are more exciting that I realized.”

  Nerber moved cautiously to the gazebo steps, Wilburps by his leg. After Krinkle turned in a full circle, watching the Fodd dial as he did so, he looked at Nerber with new interest - tinged with fear.

  “Are you a niceness person? One with a wide spread mind not jumping to concussions without knowing the beings you are lucky to meet? What? Oh, conclusion, not concussion is meant.” He forced an awkward smile.

  Krinkle moved slowly over to one side as Nerber stepped into the gazebo and moved slowly in the other direction. They stayed a safe distance apart but left each other an opening to escape the shelter if that seemed warranted.

  “Did you travel a long way to get here, Stranger?”

  “A very long way.”

  “Are you a scout for others like you?”

  Nerber gestured that Wilburps must translate for him - so each time he hesitated before he spoke. “No, I am alone. It is hard to explain. I try to do challenges for an entertainment program at my home.”

  “You're an intergalactic reality show contestant?”

  “Such things make sensible to you?”

  “We have them too. Not intergalactic ones, earthy ones. I reserve judgment about how sensible that makes us.”

  “They are popular with your peoples? That seems to be the word your kind use where we would say guys.”

  “Apparently they get an audience when there's not much else on. What challenge are you attempting right now?”

  “Staying alive.”

  “Do you have ray gun weapons we have no defenses against?”

  “I have no weapons, only a translation device and my witlessness. Is proper word witlessness?”

  “It gets across the message in a crude way. How long before you travel home?

  “I have lost contact so it is fearful that never is when.”

  “You're stranded here alone and unarmed? That's not as scary as I thought you would be.”

  “Is plenty enough scary for me.”

  “Wow, my Fodd works!”

  “This makes you feeling okey-your-dokey?”

  “It proves what I've been laughed at for years for saying - I can detect alie... Uh, unusual stuff. This proves that dreams can be paths to important discoveries.”

  “You are scientist type, no? You want to know, not to kill before you learn any secrets to be shared?”

  Nerber reacted with fear when Krinkle glanced sharply at Jones still enjoying his meal and became obviously cautious. He asked, “That one is a risk for me?”

  “He's my helper but he may not understand that things have changed. This is now a quest of delivery, not just one of discovery. The mobs can't be allowed to find you. At least not right away.”

  “This sends to me the mixing up of signals but I find I have only limited options.”

  “We should get out of sight. That includes not letting Zippedy see where we go. Leave this to me.” Krinkle picked up and turned on the jammer.

  Nerber said, “Please to have all my leavings. Is that thing what please?”

  “It's my jammer. It'll deal with any and all signals from others. We're secure now.”

  Nerber looked at his zerpy that was apparently having problems translating that for him and shrugged.

  Krinkle, carrying the Fodd and the jammer by the handholds cut into their cartons, gestured for Nerber to follow him as he went slinking out of the gazebo, staying low even though they were out in the open. Nerber and Wilburps followed, also staying low.

  They circled wide around Jones to Krinkle's car parked at the curb at the edge of the park. Jones was blissfully lost in the music on his player device, eyes closed.

  * * *

  Regimentator had been distracted when her cell phone fell out of her pocket along with them when she took out a packet of lens wipes.

  Since she considered the phone a vital tool of a modern sneak she took a minute to test several of its functions to be sure it hadn’t been damaged by the fall. Finding out she didn’t have its services at a critical moment would be too infuriating to tolerate. Better to know now so she could plan alternative routes to whatever she wanted to do.

  Thus distracted, she didn’t notice Edith Parker closing in on her as fast as she could without running and without getting so far ahead of Mimi Brownowski that the old woman might call out in fear or in annoyance and spoil Edith’s intended effect.

  Edith put on her most intimidating expression and called, “Who are you and what are you doing here?”

  Edith wasn’t happy that after the briefest of looks of surprise Ms. Regimentator matched her in intimidating looks and added insult with a sneer that telegraphed her disdain for this woman who thought she could look scary. “None of your business and go fly a kite.”

  “You don’t live in this town so you have no right to be here. Scram before I...take action against you.”

  Regimentator heaped insult on Edith by not responding or giving any sign she noticed her now. But when Edith angrily grabbed at her to make her pay attention Regimentator warned, “Lay one finger on me and I lay you out in a hospital bed and sue you for anything you’re worth.”

  Careful now to keep her hands at her side and to keep her threats verbal, Edith continued, “This is a private park and you need a permit from the town to take pictures here.” She hoped that didn’t sound as lame to this woman as it did to her.

  Regimentator’s response was a snort of derision. Then she growled in annoyance when she saw that Krinkle had moved while she was distracted and for a moment she couldn’t see him.

  * * *

  At the car Nerber waited while Krinkle reached in from the back passenger side door and put the Fodd and jammer on the back seat. He started to reach for Wilburps but reconsidered and gestured for Nerber to put the zerpy in there. Nerber looked over the spot beside the cartons and slid the big device in there where it hovered an inch above the seat.

  Krinkle closed that door, ran around and got behind th
e wheel. When he looked over Nerber stood outside, unsure what to do. The man leaned across and pushed open the front passenger side door for Nerber - who got in, looking all around and feeling all the parts within reach.

  With a shrug Krinkle got out, went around and closed Nerber's door from the outside. At that Nerber almost panicked. Was this a trap after all?

  He relaxed and pretended not to have gone through that sweep of emotions when Krinkle got back in behind the wheel.

  Krinkle hesitated, considering whether to insist on the use of seat belts but decided not to since that might further frighten his obviously nervous passenger. If a policeman pulled him over because of that he would have to figure out how to talk them out of it but that would be then, right now he needed to get his visitor out of sight.

  “Will it make a problem for you if I leave the Fodd and jammer machines on?”

  Nerber called back, “What is your status, Wilburps?”

  “I have lost contact with the producers. That seems to be caused by the new interference that comes from very close to me and makes communication with the others impossible. All I can detect are sounds like none we ever experience at home – for which fact thanks should be given. I find that, based simply on the word’s definition, yowling in the local talk-talk list seems to best fit this noise. There have been no new signals from the unknown near space source since last you asked.”

  Krinkle took it all in but asked no questions and tried not to seem too interested in case that might seem threatening. He started the car and drove slowly away, glancing over to see if Jones was aware they were leaving without him. The young man was to all appearances totally oblivious.

  * * *

  By the time Regimentator could get a clear view, Krinkle and someone else were already in the car. When the car began to move she seriously considered doing major physical damage to Edith who was rocking side to side and, as needed, waving her arms in the air and even jumping up and down to block Reggie’s view of whatever was happening over in the park behind Edith’s back. If Edith couldn’t scare off the competitor she could at least frustrate her by blocking her camera views.

  Muttering threats and curses under her breath, Regimentator ran for the corner and her own car so she could follow Krinkle.

  * * *

  Unseen by them, Adam Parker had been watching Nerber and Krinkle from among the trees at the end of the park. When the car moved it finally occurred to him that it would pass him so this would be his only chance to take photos but if he acted fast he could still get usable images since Nerber was sitting fully visible in the front passenger seat.

  He ran out of the woods and stopped by the curb, holding the video camera and coaching himself aloud. “You rented a video camera since film is worth a lot more than still photos. Remember what the salesman said, ‘point and shoot’. But he said a bunch of stuff before that and I was too worried about wasting my time and money if I didn’t get here while Nerber is still around... I don’t know how to use this thing. Which buttons am I supposed to push?”

  The car pulled by him as a slow speed since Krinkle was wary that this stranger might do something dumb like jump in front of the car so he could use the camera in his hand.

  As soon as he was beyond anyone he could see Krinkle sped up but only to the legal thirty mile limit for this area. It wouldn’t help to be stopped for speeding.

  Nerber retrieved Wowseyla from his hat and hunched forward in his seat. Krinkle watched this move out of the corner of his eye, worried that it meant his passenger was ill. Seeing the small device with the keyboard and view screen deployed, Krinkle decided it was some alien equivalent of a Gameboy that the visitor was using to amuse and distract himself during this time of stress.

  “Anything new to report, Wilburps?” Nerber called.

  “The same circuit-melting interference blocks everything else. I am monitoring signals only at the lowest volume to protect myself,” the zerpy replied. Then it added, do you wish that we switch back to no sound communication while we are in the presence of the inhabitant?

  Nerber nodded with satisfaction. The big zerpy didn’t detect the small newer model. No, this is suitable. Unless I give you specific orders to the contrary make all messages to me to be hearing with my ears.

  He typed in code and waited. The results were reassuring, the noise interference wasn’t bothering Wowseyla’s functions. A diagnostic scan of the systems of Whizybeam, the space ship he’d come here on, confirmed that that interference wasn’t caused by any ship’s system and wasn’t coming from deep space. It also showed that the ship’s engine problems continued. It still wasn’t clear if he could safely disable his own and Wilburps’s self-destruct units or initiate transport back to the ship at will. Not the happiest of news but at least useful as he moved into this new phase of his adventure on a far planet.

  He closed down the mini-zerpy, palmed it, then casually reached up and pressed it back onto his hat and sat back. Glancing over he noted that Krinkle was much interested in the device. Taking a chance on being properly understood, Nerber touched a finger to his lips and nodded toward Wilburps.

  Krinkle gave a small nod of agreement. No questions about this device within range of the big one. Maybe this species made droid-type things that could become jealous.

  Chapter 14

  Krinkle hadn’t driven far before guilt overcame him. He turned onto a cross street and began the circuit to bring them back to where the car had been parked. “Sorry, we have to go back and pick up Zippedy. It’s not fair to just drive off and leave him there chewing on his tacos without even telling him. He’s a good helper and I’ll have to trust him. He might feel lost and confused when he realized I was gone and he couldn’t remember if I asked if he was ready to go along. He gets twisted around in his head by things like that. I’ll drive him home, then we can go somewhere and talk about a lot of things. I hope that’s all right since it’s what I’m gonna do. Loyalty to friends and helpers is important.”

  Nerber sat quiet as Wilburps silently sent him the best translation he could come up with for that. Zippedy was not in the zerpy’s dictionary; chewing on his tacos suggested there was more to these creatures’ anatomy than the Ormelexians’ limited information about them hinted at; twisted around in his head suggested a physical event they had no reason to expect was possible until this mention. Nerber chose to focus on the passing scene rather than seek clarification of these points.

  They made a several-city-block-square loop as the one-way streets would allow and pulled smoothly to the curb behind Jones who stood looking around as he put away his music player. He looked mildly confused but not really upset or afraid.

  Down the street Mimi Brownowski walked in a big circle in the nearby grassy area of the park. Edith and Adam Parker were on the sidewalk nearby having an animated discussion as the taxi they had called for approached, the driver apprehensive since it wasn’t clear whether or not they were actually ready to purchase his services. He hated to have to listen to angry or whining fares’ complaints.

  In her car Penelope Regimentator was almost worn out from thinking of new bad things to call Krinkle and those people who got in her way. She hated to repeat uncomplimentary descriptions of or curses on those who crossed her even when she was the only one to hear them. She did though always shout those out since vocalizing them gave her more satisfaction for her trouble. It was only with considerable difficulty that she had been able to get to where she could see Krinkle’s car far ahead of her in time to see his several turns so she could follow. She didn’t believe he would simply make a circle and go back to that park so she drove slowly, fully alert for places where he might have pulled in to hide as part of an elaborate plan to elude her.

  When she was back on the same street near the park where she had retrieved her car only a few minutes ago she sped up. The path no longer made sense and she feared she had lost track of him.

  Imagine her surprise and devilish delight to see his car stopped by
the bench just down the street. She was back on target. She wouldn’t let him slip away again.

  Krinkle stepped out of his car, went around, opened the other doors and Nerber moved to the back seat with his zerpy and the Fodd and the jammer. Then Krinkle waved over Jones who came and got in the front seat as if nothing seemed unusual.

  As they drove off Krinkle said, “Zippedy, pay them no mind. I’m just giving this hitchhiker and his backpack a ride. I’ve decided to call it a day so I’ll drive you home.”

  “Okay,” was all Jones said. Neither his tone, his expression, nor his body language gave any hint of it if he had further thoughts or doubts about what was happening. He gave a vague welcoming gesture to the fellow in the back seat and settled to watch the passing scenery.

  The unexpected reappearance of Krinkle’s car caused the Parkers considerable consternation. The taxi Edith had called for was here but now there was reason for her to think her work here wasn’t finished after all. When Regimentator turned the corner farther up the street and promptly pulled to the curb, Edith glanced at the taxi but hesitated about waving him away.

  When Regimentator jumped out, camera in hand, and headed at a run for Krinkle’s car Edith decided she did need to stay to help her son get the pictures they had gone to this much trouble to get.

  Krinkle now saw Regimentator approaching from behind them with a camera. He put the car in gear and pulled away from the curb. His first thought was to get away from here fast; his second thought was to avoid arousing the suspicions of the people ahead of them by speeding or acting like he had something to hide. So he drove fast enough to stay ahead of Regimentator but not fast enough to be ticketed or arrested.

  Krinkle was distressed enough to briefly reconsider his decision to avoid running anyone down when Adam Parker now raised a still camera as he stepped to the edge of the curb while the taxi made a tight U-turn to get away from the confusion here, momentarily forcing Krinkle to stop. This brief pause made it likely that Regimentator would reach his car and be able to take photos before he could safely drive away.