Far-out Show (9781465735829)

by Hanna, Thomas

  Regimentator shouted, “Out of the way, amateurs! This scoop is all mine.”

  That had an effect on the Parkers but not the one Regimentator wanted or expected. Edith launched herself at the approaching woman, her grasping hands and expression making it clear she intended this to be a grapple and she didn’t intend to allow this intruder to get useful photos.

  After his initial shock at his mother’s action, Adam felt compelled to do this. He raised his camera to focus on the car.

  For the moment Edith was simply blocking Regimentator’s path and view of the car but it seemed clear she was ready, even eager, for some fisticuffs. At another time Reggie might have happily obliged the older woman but right now there were important pictures to be the first to offer for sale to the news media and others.

  Krinkle recognized the problems it would cause if this man got clear photos of the back seat rider but since the taxi was slow making its turn there wasn’t a lot he could do to prevent those from being taken. At least he was relieved to see in the mirrors that Regimentator was being kept at bay by a crazy woman. Served her right.

  Suddenly Jones released his seat belt, rolled down his window, and hung halfway out that opening to silently wave and mug at Adam. That move so startled and flustered Adam that he lowered his camera to decide how to get the view he wanted of whoever was in the back seat.

  We will never know if that was Zippedy’s intention since now that the road ahead was clear Krinkle drove them off as fast as prudence would allow. Jones simply slipped back inside, reattached his seat belt, rolled up his window, and settled to watch the passing scene as if he had never made a move.

  In the back seat Nerber was considering what had just happened when he noticed that the jammer was moving about a bit on the seat beside him. He didn’t want to draw attention to the device while his new friend needed to focus on driving them safely away from this spot. He did, however, think it prudent to surreptitiously slip Wowseyla off his hat and use the mini-zerpy to scan the jammer. The readout was confused and not definitive. He tried not to let his confusion and distress show as he put the zerpy back on his hat as sneakily as he could.

  Behind them Regimentator shoved Edith away from her and ran up the street to her own car. She hadn’t gotten the photos she wanted but she suspected these yokels hadn’t either. She was still in the game for the big bucks as long as she didn’t lose Krinkle again.

  Edith went back to Adam and asked, “Did you get them? Do we have the pictures so we can go to the next step?”

  “No, the guy who was sitting on the bench up there the whole time blocked the view. I took two shots but I’m sure they only show him acting silly,” Adam replied.

  “Darn! All of this trouble for nothing.”

  “But not for her,” Adam said as he nodded at Regimentator in her car moving in this direction now. “She’s still on the trail and we can’t even follow him.”

  “No! If we can’t win the prize this bitch doesn’t get it after she interfered with us.” Edith boldly stepped out into the street with a defiant expression to block the car.

  Edith was startled and very annoyed when Adam grabbed her roughly by the arm and pulled her back onto the sidewalk.

  “Let go of me. What are you doing?” Edith demanded.

  Then Regimentator drove by, accelerating all the time, hunched over the steering wheel with a look that said she was not about to let this old lady slow her down. She even turned a bit so she would have clipped Edith in passing if Adam hadn’t pulled his mother well clear of the curb.

  “I’m saving your life,” is what Adam said as he released Edith and watched Regimentator disappear down the street. “She wasn’t going to stop and I don’t want the trouble of reporting you killed by a hit-and-run driver.”

  Edith fumbled out Brownowski’s cell phone and prepared to dial a number. “What’s the number of the police?”

  “Nine one one. But we don’t need them,” Adam said.

  “There’s more than one way to do this. We can’t stop her from maybe getting pictures she can sell but the cops can. She tried to kill me so they have to arrest her. How do I dial the number on this thing? I only had to push a button when you called earlier but this is more than that.”

  Adam held out his hand and his mother put the phone in it. He pocketed the phone saying, “No, we’re not getting the police involved in this. That’d make problems for us but not for her.”

  Edith made an emphatic gesture with her outstretched hand. “Give me that phone, you nerd. I’ll do what needs doing.”

  “No.”

  Edith was taken aback by his refusal to do what she told him since this had only happened a few times in almost thirty years. Many days she had wished he would be more independent but at the moment she was annoyed by his response.

  Before she could say more now that she thought about doing so he asked, “What was the license number of her car?”

  “Why should I care? Is this some trivia game?”

  “It’s what the police need to know to identify the car you want them to pull over. When you can’t give them that information they’ll fill out a report that you called but they can’t do anything more because they have no useful information to go on from the only person who could provide it, you, the person who called to complain.”

  “You have to be wrong. With all the traffic cameras and all that we hear about on the news they should be able to figure out which car she’s driving.”

  “Did her car make contact with you? Do you have at least a bruise to show that she actually hit you with her car, didn’t just pass by while you were pissed at her?”

  “Hey, I say she tried to run me down and kill me. That’s all it takes. That I survived doesn’t mean she didn’t try.”

  “Okay. Were there any other witnesses to this event?”

  “Of course. My son saw what happened. He’ll back me up.”

  “Sorry, giving a police statement’s serious business.”

  “Are you saying you’re mother is lying?”

  “Exaggerating, but if she says the car actually made contact with her I’ll have to call it lying.”

  “Some son you are!”

  “Right. So don’t depend on me to exaggerate. Especially don’t depend on me to say that I saw something happen that I didn’t see happen. Come on, Mom, it’s time to go home and forget all this. Unless you want to call in the Army to check the living room or the porch for traces of a space alien while they take us away to test us and decide we can never be released because we might be undetectably contaminated.”

  “That’s just story nonsense. They’d have to let us go and soon or I’d complain to people. I know how to do that.”

  “Do you also know where Mimi wandered off to?” he asked as he looked around.

  “Oh shoot, where did that dingbat go?”

  Adam held up a hand to signal her to be quiet so he could listen. After a moment he pointed toward the woods edging the grassy part of the park. “She in the woods over in that area calling that she’s lost and needs to be rescued.”

  “She’s lost all right,” Edith grumbled.

  “But you brought her out here so it’s your responsibility to get her safely home. We may have to walk too. We’ll try but I doubt that taxi will come here to pick us up a second time since you faked him out the last time.”

  “Suddenly it’s all my doing. My responsibility.”

  “I’m comfortable with that.” He headed toward the woods.

  * * *

  As they drove, slowly now to avoid any problems with the police, Krinkle glanced at his helper in the seat beside him. Jones was watching the passing scenery with a little amused smile but he hadn’t put his ear-buds in as he usually did when they drove so anything said to the back seat passenger might bring the young man into the conversation. This was awkward since Krinkle thought it would be best if Zippedy knew as little as possible about what was happening and about the stranger.

  Concer
ned that what he didn’t know might be trouble though, Krinkle decided to risk asking Nerber, “Do you know the man we passed back there by the park who tried to take some pictures? Is he someone we should be concerned about telling others too much for our good?”

  Jones made no move to suggest he was interested in the matter or even registered the question but with Zippedy it was often hard to be sure what he was aware of or thinking.

  Chapter 15

  Krinkle turned at the corner. They now drove at the posted speed limit down Elmworm Street.

  Nerber answered the question put to him by pointing to the house coming up on their right. “That was Adam Parker. His mother Edith Parker was there at the park too. They live in the house right here. I visited in there with them.”

  Krinkle slowed to look over the house and property but didn’t stop. To his relief, Jones seemed to pay it no special attention, the young man just continued to blissfully stare off into space.

  “Did you have good conversations with them?” Krinkle asked. “Did they learn all about you?”

  “We made okey-our-dokey talk-talk but there was much of stuff I knew not details about for me to be learning then. In there I first saw your television and learned much from it.”

  Krinkle watched Jones out of the corner of his eye but saw no sign that the young man found what was said or how it was said notable. That encouraged Krinkle to keep going with his questions.

  “Did they ask about where you came from?”

  “Yes sirree the bobble.”

  “What did you tell them?”

  “From far away, since that is how it is.”

  “What did they say about that? Did that upset them?”

  “They told me there was no special safety with them. Adam checked if there was someone who could keep a special visitor safe but Mr. Inter-the-Net said no. It was nicely for him to be checking that for me anyhowser. That was when I was making to be moving along.”

  “Did you talk to anyone else?” Krinkle asked.

  “Several talk-talks but until Adam not ones that were making any satisfaction come about. And now you.”

  Krinkle watched his helper closely as he said, “Good. Sit back and try to enjoy the ride. We’ll be at Zippedy’s house before too long.” The young man gave no indication that even his own name penetrated his mental fog. At this moment that was what Krinkle hoped for.

  * * *

  A bit later they pulled up and stopped outside the small house where Jones lived with his mother.

  Jones became animated as he rolled down his window then got himself out of the car and closed the door. He leaned in the window a bit to say to Krinkle, “Have a good day, Mr. Krinkle. Hope it all works out good for you.” Then he gave a little wave to Nerber in the back seat and said, “Nice to meet you. Welcome to planet Earth.” He turned and walked away.

  Krinkle shouted, “Can I have a word please, Zippedy?”

  The young man stepped back to the open window. “Yeah?”

  “What do you think you know, Zippedy?”

  “That your machine did what it was supposed to and found you the kind of person you went out looking for,” Jones said calmly and with no sign he found any of this very special.

  “I won’t ask for the details of what you think is going on, I’ll only ask who you plan to tell about what you’ve seen and heard,” Krinkle said.

  Jones shrugged. “No reason for me to tell anybody anything that I know about. ‘Course if my momma asks me questions I’ll answer her ‘cause I never lie to my momma. But she don’t usually ask much and don’t wanna be bothered with any bits and pieces, only the big picture. Is that a problem?”

  “I would never suggest you disrespect your mother but if you say much the police will want to talk to you again but this time they’re not likely to be so gentle with you.”

  Again Jones shrugged. “I got no need to talk and don’t know enough to say much anyway. I’m cool. You guys have an interesting day. If I see you on the TV news I won’t even mention that I help you out some days.” He walked toward the house without looking back.

  “Is a problem he is?” Nerber asked.

  Krinkle drove them away. “I hope not but anyone who suspects your story could spill the beans and send the vigilantes looking for us.”

  “Uh, having the food items on the floor means badness?”

  “Huh? Oh yeah, spilled beans, I get it. Yeah, I mean they could tell the authorities and focus the search that’s underway on us. Uh, you do know the Army’s looking for you, right?”

  “The female of the television told that when I heard her. That is scaring-me-news that made me think to hide.”

  “You’re really stuck here? There’s no way you can get back where you came from?”

  “Not on my doing it. I tried but could not make it happen.”

  When did you try to make it happen, Nerber. I have no record of you doing such actions.

  “Uh oh.” A misusing of their words for me. My meaning was to say that I wished to see if I could make it happen by making the wishing for it but it did not make it so. ’Make it so’, is that quotationing from some earth source? It seemed to want to be coming out in that form.

  Noticing Krinkle watching him in the rear-view mirror Nerber said aloud, “I can make messages with my translate the talk-talk helper and have no sounding. I made the wrong words and caused confusion for it about what my past actions maybe did.”

  Krinkle gave a little wave to signal that he sort of understood and wasn’t alarmed by what had just happened even though he actually was.

  Krinkle pulled into a strip mall parking lot and stopped. “Why don’t you move up to the front seat. It’ll make it easier for us to talk. Unless you need your translation machine right beside you for it to work.”

  They made that seating change, then Nerber tested how well it would work by saying in a normal tone, “Give me a to-hear-it updating, Wilburps.”

  “I still cannot make contact because of the interfering noise. The unidentified source from-near-in-space signals are gone. It is clearness not if the source is not signaling or if its messages are for a reason not known not getting to me. That is my current status. There is a sending problem.”

  “Giving to me those details,” Nerber instructed. He nodded to Krinkle that things were working fine. The man drove them out of there and continued down the highway.

  “My storage area is almost filled though. Much has happened that I recorded but cannot send along so it has been backing up. I must soon begin to put new records over the old,” Wilburps said.

  “Does that mean it has to tape over what it recorded and that older stuff will be lost for good?” Krinkle asked.

  After a short pause while Wilburps translated and assessed that Nerber answered, “That is positive the meaning. The new throwing out the old which has no place to be saved.” He asked the zerpy, “Did you make success of getting for storing the squabbling... Is a word that? Squabbling? Means has to do with baby pigeons, whatever those are? Rats with feathering? Is all confusing much.”

  “I record all the happenings in range, then delete what is decided by the criteria I am programmed with to be as useless. The fussing-making stuff between the females is all stored.”

  “The home audience would much like that to watch. Fusses are big favorites of stuff to be amused and distracted by,” Nerber said. “You certain are that you are not sending this to the producers while we hear nothing back from them?”

  “I am not able to be certain about that,” Wilburps said. “Because the noisy interfering is so big a confusion, my estimate is that it is very little likely I am doing that though.”

  “Much saddening it makes to know that but this adventure has been filled and sloppening over with disappoint me stuff.”

  “Would it help your situation if you could send all its stored stuff to whoever your producers are?” Krinkle asked.

  Nerber said, “We interpret your asking and decide the response is yes.
Without having full knowing of what others are doing to make no messages to us, I can say good show material might make them eagerly to be getting it all and not making a risk to lose some because of running over the top of the pot.”

  Krinkle pulled into a supermarket parking lot and into a spot far from the building or other parked cars. Nerber looked around anxiously, not sure what was happening and so worried about what it might be.

  Nerber’s fears were not instantly allayed when Krinkle got out and opened the back door. But when the man simply reached in and threw a switch on the jammer, then got back in the driver’s seat, the visitor from Ormelex relaxed.

  “Ask it if that makes a difference,” Krinkle said.

  Wilburps announced, “The interfering is gone. I am sending on all that is stored up and checking for any messages or instructions that have not been able to reach us.”

  They sat looking around at the scene for several minutes before Nerber said, “The sending is completely finishinged up. Wilburps is back to only what has happened close by in time and space, ready to fill up with more interesting stuff for to fascinate and pacify the masses.”

  Nerber tensed when Krinkle got out of the car but relaxed when he only reached into the back and turned the jammer on again. “Sorry but since the Army’s trying to locate you by detecting signals that they can’t understand it’s important to our safety to keep your machine from sending those and bringing them down on us.”

  Nerber got out and glanced nervously at the sky for anything coming down on that spot as Krinkle got back behind the wheel. Nerber reported, “Wilburps says the interfering is back and as it was before.”

  “Which means my jammer does what I want it to.”

  Nerber gestured that he needed a moment here. He opened the back door and leaned in as if to take a closer look at the jammer, then without warning did the tapping sequence on Wilburps that manually deactivated the zerpy. The fact that it settled onto the seat from its hovering position showed that operation was successful.