Far-out Show (9781465735829)

by Hanna, Thomas

  “We check on what all the other parties of interest are planning and expecting since we're paying good money to find that out. Then we decide what to do with fewer unknowns to cloud our view,” Uldene said. “What will the A.D.U. guys do?”

  A musical tone rang through the room, hard to miss or ignore but not totally upsetting. They popped the extra-secure bubbles.

  Uldene said, “I told them to let us know right way whenever new stuff arrived. Knowing that most techs are on some interest group's payroll it's likely it's been reviewed by them but you can only buy so much honesty and loyalty.”

  “We started out as techs so we know how things work at all the levels. What's new?” Gopgop asked.

  “Transmissions intended for the top guys at A.D.U. The Bang-Boom Show’s producers talking among themselves when they think they're secure. This may tell us about problems we can use to squeeze A.D.U. or can exploit to go around them to make a deal directly with the Bang-Boom guys.”

  “Or it might confirm our fears that the show seemed like a great idea but has so many unanticipated problems that there's no future for any like it so we should stay clear.”

  Uldene nodded agreement and tapped a button on the console that brought up the image on the view-screen of Hasley, Feedle, and Lacrat sitting in a circle in their office on the studio ship.

  Lacrat said almost in a whisper, “We probably must tell each of the contestants on the planet about the problems soon but they don't seem to be in imminent danger.”

  “The ship's remotely controlled upload system should be able to snatch them and the zerpies back on a moment's notice,” Feedle said, sounding like she was trying to convince herself as well as her associates.

  “If that works,” Hasley said, letting doubt color his tone. “So much of the ship's equipment isn't reliable that I'm worried about their safety. We agreed to do everything we could to keep our contestants and equipment from being closely examined by the planet's inhabitants but that seems more likely to happen every time we check on them.”

  “But of course it'll all be reported by A.D.U. as our fault,” Feedle noted. “We already know they've filed claims to make us pay for the damage to this ship that they provided as part of our deal.”

  “They control what the others at home see and hear so in effect they control the version of the truth that decisions there are based on,” Lacrat said, unhappy with it but that was the reality.

  “I get ferocious thinking about the great entertainments we planned to make only to have to scale the ideas way back because A.D.U. wants to make the big money from them but won't fund them properly up front,” Hasley complained.

  “We were naive when we signed contracts with them. But it's too late now to realize that sneakily worded clauses let them short-change us right and left and too bad for us. We stand to end up owing them money while they make a pile from our show,” Feedle said with a beechens sigh.

  “There'd be a fuss if the facts got out but we won't survive if they opt to silence us for their profit. The governors could own them with these facts but we don't dare contact them,” Lacrat said angrily.

  “Okay, we need to check right away on how much danger those on the planet are in,” Feedle said to bring them back to practical matters.

  The image went blank and the audio volume dropped rapidly but not to silence before Hasley said, “Zerpy, end recording.”

  Gopgop and Uldene exchanged maybe this is useful for us to know so what should we do about it looks.

  The same musical tone sounded. Gopgop checked a console monitor. “More from those same guys but this time it’s live and actually intended for us.” He tapped a button and Hasley appeared on the screen.

  “What’s going on, Hasley? You’re under contract to A.D.U., you don’t report directly to us,” Gopgop said.

  “Sometimes it’s essential to be sure where the news stops – or doesn’t,” Hasley replied. “We want to be certain that word of the loss of one of the contestants due to faulty equipment doesn’t get conveniently lost in the shuffle.”

  “What happened?” Uldene asked.

  “Contestant Zipper was lost during transfer to the planet. The transport device failed to reassemble him so he’s gone and irretrievable. So far he’s the only one killed by the defective equipment but there have been other problems,” Hasley said.

  “What do you expect us to do about this?” Uldene asked.

  “Be aware of the facts. You Peepees will likely be listed among those with some responsibility. Now the governors’ investigation won’t catch you by surprise,” Hasley said.

  “What do you get out of telling us this?” Gopgop asked.

  “The harder it is for others to hide our complaints and thus the consequences of the untested equipment from the governors, the safer we are. I’m looking out for myself and the crew. I’ve had a copy of our report to A.D.U. on what hasn’t worked on the ship so far sent to you. You can compare the text and all the routing codes to check on the accuracy of whatever other information you’re receiving from the crew or the ship’s systems without most of us knowing about that.”

  “Who said we get that kind of information?” Uldene shouted.

  “The Get To The Top Of The Heap Handbook For Success,” Hasley answered simply.

  “Don’t you go making accusations you can’t prove, Hasley. There are severe penalties for doing that,” Gopgop noted.

  “You’re welcome and you owe me,” Hasley said with a small smile. The screen went blank.

  “He’s right but I wouldn’t tell him that,” Gopgop said.

  A different musical tone sounded. Gopgop checked the monitor and said, “We’re so popular that everybody has to tell us their news. This time it’s the A.D.U. guys.” He brought up Ackack on the view-screen.

  “Is there news we should know, Ackack?” Uldene asked with as much innocence as he could fake.

  “Only a minor incident but we promised we’d keep our backers as up to the minute on developments as reasonably possible. There was a minor malfunction of some equipment on Whizybeam but the ship seems okay after corrections were made.”

  “Anything that’ll affect the show material?” Uldene asked.

  “Nothing we can’t work around. Maybe at some point we can even make what happened part of the story to keep the audience worried so they’ll be eager for each new episode,” Ackack said.

  “Any details of this incident we should know about?” Gopgop asked. “Anything that warns us of possible bigger problems?”

  “Nothing I’m worried about enough to think you ought to be,” Ackack replied. He smiled and the screen went blank.

  “Short and for the record but not informative,” Gopgop said. “If our positions were switched I’d be proud of having done it that well.”

  “But you’re a Peepee and he’s A.D.U. and he just failed to tell us about a major problem while saying he was updating us.”

  “That’s what I’m saying. Nicely done. I’d consider hiring him to handle some communications for me.”

  “He never mentioned the loss of contestant Zipper.”

  “But he said there was an equipment malfunction.”

  “You’re okay with this level of evasion?” Uldene asked.

  “I’m okay with it since I know from Hasley what happened and we recorded Ackack’s statement so if there’s a problem we have evidence to show the governors that we were deliberately not informed by A.D.U. which makes them the bad guys and the ones who get the punishment.”

  “But of course. What was I not thinking? For a moment there I forgot how we got where we are. Play the angles, play the would-be players, and play for keeps.”

  A harsh beep sounded. Both looked up as a head shot of Techim appeared on the central section of the view-screen.

  “This must be important if she’s risking detection to let us know about it right away,” Uldene said, then pressed the button that gave them live feed from Techim.

  “What’s happening?” Gop
gop asked.

  “They’ve lost contact with Whizybeam,” Techim reported with no sign of emotion. “The crew probably found the remote take-control programs and tried to patch around those to keep them from being used since removing them would require a major overhaul. That alteration shut down the power on the ship, including to the life-support systems. The obvious response is for their techs to reverse what they did but so far the signals haven’t returned so it’s not certain if they’ve done that.”

  “They found the top secret self-destruct units and the tried to remove them?” Gopgop asked.

  “The signals received immediately before they went silent don’t suggest that. Anyone alert expects the crew know they all have such self-destructs implanted and are probing to learn enough to deactivate them since they can’t be removed without special equipment,” Techim said.

  “What are the projected consequences of the current power shutdown?” Uldene asked.

  “If they put things back the way they were when the ship was turned over to them, all should quickly return to defaults. Mechanically they can then go on as if this didn’t happen. But this has confirmed for them that there are things they weren’t told about that could hurt them so they’ll be on edge and eager to learn every detail of the ship’s structure and programming. Where that could lead we can only speculate about.”

  “Put that in a rempilcarp for me,” Gopgop requested.

  “The crew tried to cheat and the consequences of that made them aware that A.D.U. had cheated on them. The next move is up to the crew,” Techim said.

  “Keep us informed,” Uldene said, then blanked the screen.

  “She’d be a valuable resource anywhere in our operations but she’s especially useful when she has access to their inner workings while they trust her completely,” Gopgop said.

  “Or at least as much as they let show.”

  “Right. Does any top person ever completely trust any underling? You offer what you can to buy loyalty but personal history argues against believing you’re being given that.”

  “I don’t like being left to wait for the Bang-Boom guys to get smart and accept the realities of their situation but there’s not much we can do until the ship is powered back up,” Uldene said angrily.

  “Once that happens though we should consider using Minx to find out what’s actually happening way off there.”

  “Yeah, our secret of last resort, the zerpy onboard the ship that nobody but the two of us and Foxpat know about. Minx so anyone finding a reference to it won’t realize it’s a zerpy since its code name doesn’t follow the six letters for a person, eight letters for a zerpy rule.”

  “We paid a lot of money to have it be our secret but there are no guarantees that the onboard techs won’t stumble on it and recognize it as a zerpy not on their equipment lists while they’re teasing apart all the hardware and software to find other things planted by A.D.U.”

  “Since they’re already having equipment problems it’s especially worrisome that there were no absolute guarantees that it won’t somehow mess up other signals and make more trouble for them once we activate it,” Uldene said.

  “There’s little we can do about that though. When we decide we need more and better feedback and maybe even to take control of the ship’s systems we’ll do what we have to. It’s good to be the decision-maker. And to be far enough away that the consequences could make us poor but won’t kill us outright.”

  A musical tone sounded. Gopgop checked the monitor and said, “Routine domestic update.” He tapped a button and Fervor appeared on screen in full oration but with the sound muted.

  “There are moments when I’m happy there are a few zealots like this Fervor fellow keeping an eye on things with something other than a short-term personal profit motive. Of course the rest of the time I consider him and the other geekocreepos to be interfering, unrealistic trouble-makers,” Gopgop said.

  “Is he still fussing about the lack of educational values in The Far-Out Show?”

  “Yeah. I remember when he first came to public attention. He’s learned a lot and uses it effectively. He dresses to be different because the Selectors never pass up a chance to give the viewers something eye-catching. He’s also become more tolerant of the way things are done. Time was he argued against any fakery in programs, now he only gets bothered when he feels the shows go too far with that. Which is now his objection with Far-Out. I don’t really disagree that they’re stretching a little material to preposterous lengths but that’s business.”

  Uldene said, “He’s right that promotions for the show promised educational aspects but educational is a wiggle word that always requires interpretation. He must realize that without an official tight definition to point to, that’s a bottomless pit of disagreement.”

  “If I understand his unspoken agenda he knows that but wants to get as many of the rest of us as possible thinking about the topic. I doubt that he expects to have what most of us would concede is a victory for his positions, only that he got guys talking.”

  “That’s probably my underlying problem with him. I don’t see why a guy would spend so much time on anything except for a concrete payout in cash or clout.”

  “Were you ever idealistic even when you were a mere hatchling, Uldene? Of course not. Forget that, I’m only kidding. The practical question for us is, Will he get enough important guys to think about the lack of educational emphasis in the show to result in pressure on us? The material is of a ziz-pod on a strange planet far away. That should clearly be automatically educational for everyone, at least if those aspects weren’t buried under the chatter about how superior we are to the inhabitants there and stuff like that.”

  As he blanked the view-screen Uldene said, “This Fervor guy has for really true gotten to you hasn’t he?”

  Gopgop shrugged. “I don’t understand why the A.D.U. guys don’t recognize that they could end the geekocreepos complaints and have a second hit show if they cut the material together with a different emphasis in the talk-talk part. But I’m not going to point that out to them until I’m sure there’s no legal way to get to use their transmissions but have another company that we get a bigger share of the profits from make it into educational programs. I get that the common thinking is that the target audience of those who need to be distracted to keep them docile won’t watch anything that’s non-violent but I’m willing to test that and see what other audience there might be. Pacification By Distraction is the most profitable kind of entertainment but that doesn’t mean there’s no profit in other types. I’m not about to abandon what pays us big-big, but I see it as good business to explore other ways to make profits.”

  “The educational talk-talk was to give the governors cover so they could approve the programs since it’s essential to their secret agenda of exploring the universe,” Uldene pointed out.

  “That’s how it started, yeah, but there’s no reason not to see what other opportunities for profit it could lead to. Let’s think about those to exercise our cleverness. Until these latest reports of equipment problems I was all in favor of buying into P.D.Q. now before their snaggiewarp travel ships become general news and there’s a rush to cash in on that.”

  “You’ve reversed your thinking?” Uldene asked.

  “Not reversed it but I’m more cautious. Yes, the biggest profit depends on timing. Even a short delay in buying in could mean being squeezed out because the price soars too high. If the systems aren’t reliable though, the bottom will fall out of the P.D.Q. version in a hurry and with that the chance for the vipsig mermin. Not a lot of investors know as much as we do about how things are going with the test run of the systems. That means opportunities but also cautions. I’m voting for holding off until we know more.”

  “How long would that be?”

  “At least until we know that the ship has power again. The crew and the A.D.U. techs will analyze every bit of data to identify any true flaws among the deliberate twists and turns. With Techim in
side we should find out about those even before the A.D.U. guys get the word from their techs. With that input I’ll be ready to reconsider a major investment in P.D.Q. but not without that.” Gopgop continued in his thoughts, You’re willing to be rash and put the company, which means a lot of my money, at risk because you’re buying the line those others are feeding you. You lowered your defenses to listen to them and now you seem unwilling to accept that you know that was a mistake even if I supposedly don’t know you had those secret meetings.

  “All right. I’m not thrilled with your position but I can’t do that on my own so I’ll focus on learning all I can on the performance and reliability of Whizybeam’s systems,” Uldene said. He thought, This is a bad decision though so I’ll speed up my search for other partners to be ready to dump you when it’s convenient and let you worry yourself into a stupor alone.

  “Here’s a ponderable, Uldene. Since I haven’t found much useful information about it and you’ve been researching it too and haven’t mentioned anything so I assume you haven’t found any either, can we somehow trick the geekocreepos into learning about and revealing the secret’s of the governors’ zerpy killer device? The Sproingy thing. That Parbam said it was restricted information and that turns out to be the case. If we can at least find out what company makes them we could check on the possibility of buying in to get those zerpies for ourselves.”

  “An interesting idea. I have no instant thoughts about it as either possible or not but I’ll think on it.” Thanks for that idea. The chance to own the company that makes those would be a perfect time to dump you and move on.

  “Am I correct that when Whizybeam’s systems are back to their defaults we can trigger the individual and ship self-destruct units again?”

  “Confirmed.” Hmm, can I trust you not to panic too soon and destroy them to end your vulnerability when they could be salvaged? More for me to think on.

  Chapter 24

  Delmus sat in his chair facing the A.D.U. office view-screens. Ackack paced behind him, big feet slapping the floor.