Nico (The Leaves)

by Hartnett, J. B.

  When we were out of earshot from the others, I said, “Dude, Cam. I threw the bottle because the brown-haired chick is trying to ruin my life. But I didn’t mean to hit her. I would never fuckin’ do that. You know me. You know what I do. I would never hurt a woman.”

  “Let me go see what’s going on. Just stay there, cool?” he said.

  I held my head in my hands. “Yeah.”

  A few minutes later he came back and told me, “She said you were drinking, threw the bottle at her, threatened her, the blond isn’t saying anything. The other one is doing all the talking for her… and she wants to press charges. The neighbors called in a disturbance, said a man was threatening a woman outside this property… blonde, tattoo. Sorry, Nico. I’m gonna have to take you in.”

  I got into the back of the car and willed Lark to look at me as it pulled away. But she never did.

  Chapter 20

  Pop posted bail for me. We walked down the beach, ate tacos, and watched the surf. He was waiting for me to do the talking.

  “I lost her, Pop.” I said and looked out at the water, throwing the half-eaten taco back in the paper bag.

  “I don’t think you did, son. She just hasn’t heard your side of the story. Talked to Cam. Then I talked to Teensy and Zack. Geez, that guy is somethin’ else,” he said and took another bite. “You have a lot of people on your team, and by team, I mean you and Lark. I called Hank, told them what happened last night. Explained about Tawnea, which they already knew about because Dee told them she was gonna tell Lark. I asked your mom to go to your place and get what you need for a couple of days. She’s on her way there now. Anything you want in particular?”

  I had been thinking about it all night. What was I going to do if my plan didn’t work out? But I had only concluded one thing, and I needed to tell Pop. “Whatever happens tonight, when I tell her, I want her to have the house, Pop.”

  “Where are you planning on goin’?” He tried to make me look at him, but I refused.

  “Don’t know. I just know, this day is going to end one of two ways. One, I’m in that house, in that bed next to her. Two, I’m sharkbait.” I looked out to the water in front of us.

  “How about we give you options three and four, which are at our place or up at the cabin,” he said firmly.

  “Yeah, okay.” I still didn’t look at him, and I didn’t give him anything else. “I’m gonna take a walk. I’ll come to your place to get ready. Give Lark some space. Ask Mom to bring the journal though. It’s important, Pop.”

  “Nicolas,” he said as I brushed sand from my shorts. I looked down at him sitting there. “This is meant to be, you and Lark. I gotta believe she’s gonna see the truth here.”

  “Yeah, but she didn’t believe. She didn’t ask me. Mom’s gonna pick you up?”

  He handed me the keys to my truck. “Yeah. And she made the cake. She’ll bring it to your place during the reception.”

  “Thanks for bailing me out, Pop.”

  “Any time, son. Any time.”

  I walked down the beach carrying my sandals in my hand. Away from my pop, away from my life, and stood in the spot where I decided I liked life a whole lot better than death. I held my hand over my necklace, knowing that Lark was wearing hers for sure. She never took it off and specifically told Teensy she was sorry, but the necklace stayed.

  Teensy had no problem with that.

  I tried to call Lark when we left the holding cell at the local police department. Of course, she didn’t answer. I arranged to meet Frodo at the studio. The wedding was at four, the reception at six, with photos in between. It was almost eleven, just enough time.

  I walked in to Zack and Frodo talking. Zack was spinning around on one of the rolling stools and propelled himself across the small space toward me.

  “Dude,” he said. “I want you to know, Teensy is just waiting for the word. She’s gonna kick the shit out of that Dee chick. I’m serious, man, like all hardcore chick wrestling and shit. So I am begging you, call it a wedding gift, just say the fuckin word man.”

  I didn’t have the mental energy needed to even fantasize about that.

  “As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I need to get the show on the road here. I don’t have time. I need to go to my folks after this and get ready to come back for… oh yeah, your wedding.” I looked at him and nodded. I couldn’t even fake a smile for him.

  I turned my attention to Frodo. “Okay, dude. Do your thing, man.”

  I opened the portfolio I kept of all the sketches from my birds over the years and handed him a printed photo and design I’d sketched based on the front of Lark’s wedding dress.

  “Dude, this is gonna look fucking mental. You want it to show on the neck or keep it lower?” he asked.

  I held my hand over the spot where Lark always laid hers on my chest. “Here. Right in the middle of my chest. Right where it always feels like it’s gonna rip right open.”

  A tattoo in the middle of my chest was my grand gesture. It wouldn’t solve our problems, but it meant something to me, and to know it was her art, from her beautiful dress… I hoped I would stand across from her still, her heart facing mine. I had to believe we were strong enough.

  “Fair enough man. I’ll have you outta here in a few hours,” he said and got everything he would need ready.

  Zack played assistant for a while until he had to leave. “See you there, man.” He started for the door, then turned to say, “You know, if it wasn’t for you and Lark…”

  “It’s cool, buddy. See ya later.”

  Zack left, and it was just Frodo and me. As he was doing the outline, he asked, “Does heart disease run in your family?”

  “My grandfather died pretty young,” I replied.

  “You should go get some tests done. My brother-in-law had a heart attack at forty-three, dude. You’ve been rubbing your chest every time I see you. But, all things considered, it’s probably stress,” he said, dipping the needle and starting the outline.

  “Probably.” I didn’t want to tell him I was now having a recurring nightmare. Well, twice. I fell asleep in the holding cell and wasn’t out for long, but long enough that the same fucking excruciating pain woke me up. But it was a little lower this time. I thought about it and decided this was my fear of having Lark gone from my life again. Now that I had her, I’d experienced the pure truth and beauty of absolute love. Losing her, my soul-mate, would be to lose my soul. I thought the idea was just too fucking painful for my conscious mind to deal with, so it did it in my sleep. Honestly, if, after tonight, she didn’t want me… I hoped I would just drop dead of a heart attack. It was fucked up to think that, especially with a kid on the way, but without her, I would see that child and always be reminded of what could have been and how it all went so fuckin’ bad.

  Mom and Pop were waiting for me. Mom ran out to me and gave me a huge hug, “Nicolas,” she said it in that mom way that did make me feel a little better, but not much. “Your Pop here tells me I need to hide anything sharp? Is this true?” she asked in all seriousness.

  “No, Mom. It’s not true,” I lied. “I have a plan.” I kissed her forehead and told her, “Gonna have a shower and shave, then I need some time to myself. Cool?”

  “You got it, baby.”

  A half hour later, showered and shaved, I sat there in my boxers, opened my journal, and began what would be my last entry.

  Dear Dish…

  ***

  At four in the afternoon, a slight breeze swept across the ocean view courtyard of Avanti’s. The Rabbi welcomed us all. The men wore the traditional yamakas or kippa as Zack’s dad had informed me. Zack and I were dressed in fantastic tuxedos which gave the false impression that everything was right in the world. But in this moment, as Teensy’s mom and stepdad walked her down the aisle, I was happy to live in the illusion. I did my best to keep my eyes off of Lark, not wanting to make her uncomfortable or emotional. I wanted her to enjoy the day, too.

  Teensy’s dress was incredib
le. Lark was truly a great artist, and the dress wasn’t overdone at all. Zack’s “Mistress T” had beautiful curls arranged with huge white flowers that draped off a headpiece and framed one side of her face. The neck of the dress had the same flowers and cascaded down the bodice to the bottom of the low back of the dress. At the back, the same flowers seemed to float on the train as she walked to join Zack under the Chupah… which was a word I only remembered because of that one episode of The X Files where that guy’s brother is a Chupacabra. It did gain me points with Zack’s dad when I asked, “Mr. Mayer? Do I stand next to or under the Chupah with Zack?”

  But when I saw Lark in that dress, the one that she looked so unbelievably sexy in that I ripped her panties so I could fuck her against the wall of our bedroom… I felt my throat close. When she didn’t look at me, I looked out to the small crowd and saw Dee, smiling like the fuckin’ devil she was.

  I did my best to ignore her devious glare and the beautiful woman not ten feet from me who, only a day before, had been my entire world and I had been hers. Then, something equally fucked up occurred to me; what did it say about our future if we let someone else come between us like Dee had? I had told Lark, it was me and her, and if anyone tried to interfere, I’d tell them all to fuck off. But not only was I apparently alone in that idea, I had lost sight of it.

  “Zachariah and Christiana Mayer!” I heard, which shook me from my dark thoughts. Now I got to touch her. Lark offered her arm, but never met my eyes. She was still wearing her necklace and her engagement ring, which gave me hope.

  “Lark?” I said quietly.

  In her soft, calm voice, she said, “Not now. Not here. This is about them, not us.”

  “Tell me when,” I asked.

  “We’ll find some time at the reception. I didn’t get much sleep last night, so I want to try to leave early anyway.”

  We were almost to the inside of the restaurant. People would be everywhere, so I had to ask, “Will you be going back to our place from the wedding?”

  A long minute passed when she finally answered sadly, “I don’t think so, Nico.”

  We took what seemed like a billion different pictures, from this direction and that direction, and we had to get the light over here, and can you move your arm over there? I was about ready to throttle the fuckin’ photographer and her assistant by the time we were finished.

  When we had some downtime, I switched on my phone and saw a text from my mom.

  All set, baby.

  Good luck, but you won’t need it.

  We love you!

  It was high tide. I shouldn’t have had a drink since I wanted to have a clear head, but at that point, there was really nothing else I could do. I heard someone walk up behind me, but I didn’t bother looking. I knew Lark’s sound, and this wasn’t it.

  “You want some company from the bride?” Teensy asked.

  “Hey, T. You look beautiful. The dress, the hair, just beautiful.” I tipped the glass to my lips.

  “She’ll come around, Nico. I have my minions working on her,” she said and shoved her shoulder into me.

  “Don’t bother, T. I want her coming to me on her own, not because someone told her to. She was with someone who did all the thinking for her. In some ways, she’s such a strong woman. But when it comes to knowing her own mind, it’s like she’s afraid to make the wrong decision.”

  “Can you blame her, Nico? Really?” she said gently. “From what you told me and the little she’s said to me about her past, the first man she ever loved and trusted killed her mother. Then she took a chance and trusted another man who ended up being a controlling asshole… who cheated on her. And now, you have her sister basically, who’s been a constant in her life, trying to be an advocate for her. Even if what Dee is doing is totally misguided, she isn’t doing it because she hates you. She’s doing it because she loves her. You are totally inconsequential. But Nico, she’s never forgotten you, the little-boy-you, and when she discovers the truth, she isn’t going to hate you… she’s never going to let you go. Ever. You’re her strength.”

  “No, Teensy,” I said and looked at her, “she’s mine.”

  “Oh Mistress!” Zack called out in a sing-song voice.

  “Over here, pet.” She held my hand tight. “Don’t give up, Nico. Get her alone, fight for her, tell her your heart. If it worked for Zack, it’ll work for you.”

  I followed them back in and watched as they cut the cake. It matched Teensy’s dress almost exactly. The only difference was the blood red interior. With such a small gathering of people, there was nowhere to hide when we were called to the dance floor alongside the bride and groom. I had no idea what song Zack and Teensy chose, but when I heard the first familiar chords, I knew it was going to kill Lark to dance with me and pretend like everything was all right. I held out my hand for her, and her manicured fingers took it. The waltzing rhythm, the haunting voice of Michael Hutchence, her body against mine, I could feel her cry, her face hidden in her beautiful blonde curls. Then I made the first good decision I had in days. “I’m taking you home, babe,” I whispered. “Let’s go.”

  I pulled her through the door, not bothering to find out where she left her bag. I had walked to the restaurant, so I hailed a cab, but she suggested, “Let’s walk, Nico.”

  Only a block away, I heard Dee as she yelled and tried to catch up to us. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. I didn’t turn around; I just waited for her to arrive.

  “Don’t go with him, Lark. Don’t go,” she cried. Then I knew it. Teensy was right. It had nothing to do with me. She was worried for Lark.

  “Nico, tell me what happened with that woman. Tell me now, in front of Dee. I’m sorry to do this to you, but I need to hear your side of the story, and I think that’s the only way I can keep walking down this road with you.” I knew she didn’t mean Pacific Coast Highway either.

  I didn’t hesitate. “Last night, Tawnea came to see me. I hadn’t seen her since the day in the studio, babe. As far as I knew, she was in New York, working for that magazine. It was dark, but I knew she was naked, except for her bottoms. But Dee only saw her from the back and you obviously didn’t hear what she had to say. Did you?” I asked Dee.

  “No,” she said and shook her head.

  “Then she grabbed my hands and put them on her breasts to which I told her to fuck off, basically. But she didn’t have breasts. She was post-op from a full mastectomy. She came to me to ask me to give her a tattoo, like I did for my mom. And yeah, I did kiss her. But it wasn’t passionate. I kiss—”

  “All your birds,” Lark added.

  “Yeah,” I said. “I hugged her and told her I would help, and she left. So, that was my big fuck-up, Dee. You have no idea what I went through to find this woman standing in front of me. None at all. And I’m about to take her home and tell her everything else.” I squeezed Lark’s hand. “But I have to believe we’re gonna make it because, what she and I went through that night, it bonded us in a way we weren’t even aware of. And all this time, we didn’t know and we still managed to find each other.”

  “Nico, what—” Lark began to ask.

  “Just a little longer, babe,” I told her. “So, please,” I said to Dee, “give us this chance to make it right, not for me, for her. If after tonight, she doesn’t want me, hate me all you want, but I never lied, and I never cheated, and no matter how this turns out, I am going to love her ‘til the day I die.”

  I turned away from Dee and didn’t even bother to look at Lark. I just started to walk.… and Lark came with me.

  Chapter 21

  When we started to walk up the steps in front of the studio, I looked in the shop window out of habit, and the safe was closed. “Fuck me,” I said.

  Lark looked toward the shop as I continued up the stairs with my hand at her back, “What’s wrong?”

  “Frodo didn’t do the deposit. Doesn’t matter. I’ll do it tomorrow.”

  I began to step up, but she didn’t move. “Nico?�
��

  “Yeah, babe?”

  “I never thought you cheated. Even with what Dee said had happened, I knew there had to be another side to the story. But I’m so emotional these days, I just couldn’t think with her always talking, always telling me to open my eyes. My eyes were open. I thought they were. But she said there’s something else, something big, and it’s going to be unforgivable. So whatever happens up there, whatever it is, you have to tell me, right now, my heart is screaming that it doesn’t break us.”

  “Come on, babe. I hope it won’t either.” I kept my hand at the small of her back and guided her up the steps.

  I had played out this scene so many times in my head, thinking how I would do things, what I would say, but now that the moment was here, I didn’t have to think. I closed the door behind us and lit the huge candle she had on our kitchen table. The cake mom made sat proudly just in front of it. “Have a seat.”

  “Did you bake?” she asked, surveying the cake.

  “No, but I do have skills.” I smiled and took the seat across from her. The long satiny gown flowed around her, and I couldn’t stop myself when I reached over and moved a finger up and down the soft skin of her arm.

  “Nico, before you tell me anything else,” she reached out her hands and held them open for me, “tell me, right now, if you didn’t cheat on me, did you do something… illegal?” She looked at the table and slowly raised her eyes to me, dread written all over her face.

  I shook my head in disbelief. “What?”

  “I mean, if you did something really bad, I’ll do my best to stand by you. I’m different than Dee. I’m not as… stuffy and conservative. But you know me. Do you really think I’m going to walk away from you, from this?” She squeezed my hands and continued. “From the little boy that held me in his arms all night on the absolute worse day of my life?” Her eyes spilled over and my heart, once again, was just about ready to explode.