Where You Can Find Me

by Cole, Fiona

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy

  On Monday morning I drove Jack to the station. We waited for Grayson to show up since I’d decided to stay until Jack had to go in. When Grayson joined us, Jack explained to him the news he received on Friday about possibly having DNA of the killer found under Whitney’s nails.

  The only way to describe the look that crossed Grayson’s face was surprise and heavy relief. I saw day to day what this case did to Jack, but it seemed to weigh just as heavy on Grayson. He seemed tired and defeated but ready for it to end. “Good. It will all be over soon then.”

  Jack clapped him on the back. “Yeah, man. This one has been hard. I think we are all relieved.”

  Grayson just nodded. A white older Nissan pulled up with none other than Aimes Bennet driving. Jack and Grayson both watched the car move into the parking lot and continued to stare as he found a spot. It stretched into this surreal moment that could have been played out on a movie screen. Some thug stare-down in slow motion as both people held eye contact while he drove by and got out of the car. I almost wanted to laugh at how cliche it seemed. Also, at how uncomfortable I felt standing in the middle of their western standoff.

  Bennet got out of the car and gave a wave to the guys. I could feel the sarcasm of the wave like a hit to the chest. Apparently so could Jack if the ticking muscle in his jaw was any indication. Obviously, Bennet held no fear of Jack’s anger because he compounded the situation by speaking. “Miss me?” He winked at Jack and then turned his head to me giving me a quick look up and down. Lowering his tone of voice to what I assumed was meant to be seductive, he spoke to me next. “It’s good to see you again, sweetheart.”

  Jack took a step forward but Grayson slapped his hand against Jack’s chest to hold him back. “It’s not worth it man. He’ll get what’s coming to him.”

  Jack took a deep breath and opened and closed his fists, trying to regain some of his composure. We all watched as Aimes turned to walk up the stairs into the station. And what I saw on his neck made my heart freeze. When I turned to see if Jack or Grayson had seen it, Jack’s wide eyes and frantic looks between Aimes and Grayson let me know he saw it too and thought the same thing.

  Down the right side of Aimes’s neck, toward the back and down into the collar of his shirt were three scabbed over scratches that looked an awful lot like they could have been made with fingernails. It could be anything. We could be jumping to conclusions. But all I could hear in my head was how Whitney had the murderer’s DNA under her fingernails. All I could hear was Aimes going on excitedly about the murderer and how smart he was. The answers seemed to be wrapped in layers of cloth and as they were removed, the picture became unveiled and glaringly obvious. Impossible to ignore.

  “Did you fucking see that?” Jack burst out to Grayson as soon as Aimes cleared the station doors.

  Grayson stared off to where the doors had closed. He licked his full lips and bit down on the bottom one. His eyebrows scrunched together as though in deep thought. Trying to figure out the next piece to fall into place. His only response came as a noncommittal, “Yeah.”

  “Alright, man. We need to get in there and figure this shit out. Lu, I’ll call you when I can. I’ll try to be by later.”

  As he spoke the words, I could feel the panic rising up to choke me. I shook my head frantically stuttering out my words. “No. Please, Jack. I don’t want you to go in there with him. Please.” I gripped his hand, holding him to me. I could feel the irrationality of my actions, but all I could think was that a murderer was in there and I didn’t want Jack in there with him.

  Jack pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me. “Shh. Luella, it’s okay. That’s one of the safest places I can be. Grayson’s right here and he isn’t going to let some pipsqueak killer get to us. And all the manpower inside will keep everything under control. Trust me, baby. It will be fine.”

  I took a deep breath, inhaling the scent unique to him. It soothed me along with the hand rubbing up and down my back. I took it all in and regained my calm. I took a step back and gave him my firmest stare. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak out on you like that. I just… I just don’t want anything to happen to you. I love you and I just can’t lose another person I love. I tend to lose my marbles at the possibility.” I chuckled trying to lighten the mood and turned to Grayson. “Make sure you take care of my guy, okay?”

  Grayson still looked off, lost in his own head, but my question pulled him away from his thoughts and he gave me a serious nod with a flirtatious wink. Having Grayson act so casual and be his flirty self made me feel a little bit better. I tried to not feel like a dark cloud hung over my head as I kissed Jack goodbye and headed home.

  * * *

  I had cleaned my whole house by the time evening rolled around. Evie had called me earlier, asking if I wanted to have dinner, but I declined because I wanted to be home for whenever Jack got there. I would have been a horrible dinner companion, checking my phone every five minutes to see if Jack had sent anything. By eleven at night I was a hot mess, staring at the TV without taking anything in. My mind raced with possibilities of why I still hadn’t heard from Jack. I began to fall back on the same saying I had when Asher was in the Army. No news is good news.

  It only made me feel slightly better. I’m not sure how long I sat there but a knock at the door made me jerk my hands out of my lap and my heart stop beating for a few seconds. My breathing stuttered before I finally jumped up from the couch and ran to the door. After checking the peephole I flung the door open and leapt into Jack’s arms.

  I must have surprised him because he staggered back a couple steps and gave an “oomph” as I wrapped my legs around his waist clinging to him. Only a moment later his hands landed on my butt to support me and walked into the house, closing the door behind us.

  “Well, it’s good to see you too.” I could hear the laughter in his voice but I didn’t care.

  “Let’s sit down on the couch; tell me what happened. I don’t care if you can’t. You have to because I need to know and I’m your girlfriend and I’m curious and you have to tell me.” It all came out in a rush and I finished with a lingering kiss. I didn’t want to admit my fear but seeing him now and having him in my arms felt better than good.

  He returned my kiss and laughed at my ramblings. “I love you, too.”

  I pulled myself off his lap getting comfortable on the couch next to him while he took off his brown leather jacket. He leaned his head back with a heavy sigh that sounded heavy with the relief of the day being over.

  His eyes shone with the same relief when he lifted his head back up and looked at me. “We got him.” My eyes widened and a tightness settled in my chest. I took a deep breath to relieve it. Tears pricked the back of my eyes and a smile stretched my lips.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. Really.” The sexy wrinkles at his eyes and laugh lines around his mouth appeared. We both sat there for a moment relishing that the past few months were over. His hand reached out and squeezed mine, the silence between us filled with the best feeling ever. We didn’t need words to express the solace we felt in that moment. I lifted his hand to my mouth and my impatience for the story and demand answers began to seep into the quiet.

  “Okay. Now tell me what the hell happened.”

  “So we—Grayson and I—had a meeting with Shane, and in came Bennet, asking what he missed, all excited about the killer’s next move. When Shane told him about the murder and the evidence they’d found, that asshole’s hand went straight for his neck as though he had just realized such incriminating evidence was out in the open. The color drained from his face. The fucker knew he had been caught. Shane began to ask him questions about where he was the past week and he started out by saying he was visiting family. Which is a lie. Shane already called his family and he wasn’t there. It all went downhill from there. He stuttered through some more lies before saying he was with a woman for the
week and she left the scratches on his neck during sex. He challenged us to search his stuff and Shane didn’t officially take him into custody until we searched his car and found a wiped-down knife. At least almost wiped down. We found some blood splatter on the handle.”

  “Oh my God.” My eyes widened at how real it all became. They actually had more proof. I couldn’t believe he was right in front of us the whole time.

  “Yeah. He claims it isn’t his and that he doesn’t know how it got there. But when we get the DNA results back there will be no denying he’s the killer.” Jack rubbed his hands over his face and scrunched his eyebrows, the happy relief replaced with a frown.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I just … I just wish I would have been able to prove it sooner. My gut said it was someone a part of this, someone close, and I just feel like I should have been able to see it sooner.”

  I placed my hand on his leg trying to offer comfort. “Don’t think that way. No one saw it. No one could do anything without proof. This isn’t on you. Hell, Jack, you’re not even a cop. This is all extra for you. So, just be happy it’s over and that you helped solve the case. You listened to your gut about Aimes and didn’t back down. You did great! I’m so proud of how hard you work.”

  My words seemed to bring a smile back to his face. A spark lit up his blue eyes. “I don’t know how lucky I am to have you but I’m not letting you go.”

  Warmth settled in my chest as it filled with happiness. “Good. I don’t plan on going anywhere.” I leaned down into his side, resting my head on his shoulder as he moved to wrap his arm around me. “I forgot to ask, how is Grayson doing? Is he happy it’s over?”

  Jack remained quiet and his hand tightened on my arm. “Grayson is … Grayson is fine.”

  I lifted my head and tilted it to the side, curious about what that meant. “What do you mean?”

  Jack took another deep breath, as he looked off searching for his words. “I think Grayson misunderstood the other night. That is was a one-time thing. He asked to come over and celebrate and when I said probably not he asked about tomorrow. I had to explain to him that it wasn’t something we wanted to repeat and he got a little pissed at me.”

  “Shit. Jack, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to cause any problems. Shit. We never should have done that. It’s all my fault and now your best friend is pissed at you. I’m so, so sor—”

  Jack’s finger landed on my lips stopping the stream of blabber pouring from my mouth. “Stop. This isn’t your fault. It’s mine. I didn’t explain myself well enough to Grayson. What I have with you is different so it’s new territory for Grayson to understand. After a few days it will all be fine. This is what we do. We’re brothers and just because I won’t share my girl with him doesn’t stop that from being true.”

  My lips pursed as I considered his words. “As long as you’re sure.”

  “I’m sure.”

  “Should I talk to him? I can give him a call.”

  Jack chuckled at my need to fix it. “No, baby. There’s nothing to fix. Just take me to bed and let’s get some sleep.”

  And so we did. Jack made love to me slowly before we both fell asleep without the weight of a murderer hanging over our heads. When the sun barely shone bright enough to light the room, Jack’s phone began to ring. He flung his arm over to grab it from the nightstand. He looked at the screen and groaned before answering it.

  “Shane. What the hell do you want? Don’t we get to rest once the bad guy is caught? At least that’s how it works for me. I don’t know about you guys at the stat—”

  Jack’s whole body tightened and I heard his breathing stop as Shane interrupted him to tell him whatever he called for. Jack pulled his arm out from under me and sat up, running a hand through his hair tightening it to a fist in frustration.

  “How? How can there be another one? We got him. He’s in the goddamn cell right now. What the fuck, Shane?” He stopped to take a deep breath and listen to the other line. “That’s not what I want to hear. If it wasn’t him, then who was it? What about everything pointing to him?”

  Another long pause. I didn’t hear anything through the phone either. Whatever Shane said had left both men speechless. Jack lifted his head and stared at the wall opposite the bed with a defeated look. His shoulders slouched as his whole body lost its fight. “I’ll be in as soon as I can.” The words fell from his lips dull and lifeless, like heavy stones weighing him down.

  He hung up the phone and I waited for him to explain but he continued to stare at the wall. The only emotion I could see was his hand squeezing the phone so tight I worried he would break it.

  After another moment, I couldn’t wait anymore. “Jack. What’s going on?”

  He didn’t turn to look at me. I didn’t think he would answer after another long pause. Just when I was about to say his name again he spoke low, his voice hollow. “Another murder happened. They found a note at the scene directed to me.”

  The words wouldn’t process in my head. It was the only excuse I could come up with for the complete numb feeling that settled over me. I should be panicking. I should be crying. All that I could do was whisper my questions. “What? How?”

  The note said, “Wrong man, MacCabe.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Thistle and Weeds - Mumford and Sons

  Three days passed.

  Three more murders.

  Three more notes. All directed at Jack.

  Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. I won’t be ignored.

  Come and get me, MacCabe.

  I’m right here, Jack, where you can find me.

  The fact that the case took a turn in an unexpected way when we thought the case ended already caused Jack to become obsessive. I’d barely seen him the last three days. I made him stay with me and, at night, he would come home while I slept and fall in bed beside me as though at the end of the day his legs couldn’t hold him and his worries up anymore. I didn’t know what to do. When he finally came to me at night, I did the only thing I could think of: I held him tight and gave him my silent support. I wrapped my arms around him and showed him that I would hold him up when he could no longer stand. Only his pure exhaustion pushed him to sleep at night. I could feel his tension tightening his limbs when I soothed him with my hands.

  My worries invaded my thoughts constantly. As if the earlier part of the case wasn’t bad enough with him just working it, now he seemed to be the main reason that fueled the killer’s motivation. I didn’t understand how all of a sudden Jack moved to the center of this case. When I asked, he tried to explain that the police psychologist said he might have become the focus of the killer while working the case. That after a while the killer fixated on Jack and wanted to get his attention. When they thought Bennet was the murderer, the real killer decided to be more specific to get the attention he craved.

  I didn’t understand. My mind ran around and around in circles trying to comprehend the place where we ended up. The day before, I tried to do some work in the lab. It had always taken my mind off of my troubles before and I returned to it, leaning on comforting habits. It didn’t work. I messed up two of my three procedures. Before I wasted more money and time, I left for the day to go bother Evie at home. She tried to distract me with brownies, but nothing worked.

  Thursday, I sat at my desk staring aimlessly at my computer. I should have been researching my techniques for the next procedure of my work, but I couldn’t focus enough. All my attention went to pretending I was some rock for Jack and not choking on my fear of losing him. Some nights after I felt the rigidity seep from his body, I would sneak to the bathroom to sit on the floor with my back to the door and let the fear consume me. I needed the release after taking his stress away as best I could. I would let the tears fall silently and eventually dry my face and return to my spot with my arms wrapped around him, protecting him in his sleep.

  Those three days that might as well have been three years for the amount of time it had taken off our l
ives. The only saving grace was the DNA sample the police department demanded to be in as top priority. If it came back as no match, I wasn’t sure how much longer we could go on like this. To add to the stress, Jameson pushed me to distance myself from Jack while this went on. I told him he could talk to me again when he got his head out of his ass. I never told Jack what he said because I worried he would agree and try to distance himself from me. We fought about him staying with me. He didn’t want to be around me all the time when he had a serial killer focusing on him. But I wouldn’t allow it. I told him I would camp outside of his house if he wouldn’t come to mine.

  By the time Friday rolled around I felt immobilized with stress and exhaustion and didn’t want to waste anymore supplies, time, and money at the lab and decided to call in sick for a long weekend. I set about my day trying to get basic tasks done to keep myself busy. I went to the store to pick up supplies for lasagna, Jack’s favorite dinner. I knew the week lasted forever for him and wasn’t over, but I hoped something small like his favorite home cooked dish would shine a light on another shitty day.

  As I pulled the lasagna out of the oven, my phone rang with a call from Jack.

  “Hey, honey.” I put on my most positive voice. “I just pulled lasagna out of the oven. Do you think you’ll be home for dinner tonight.”

  “Hey, Lu. That sounds delicious. Thank you. That’s actually why I was calling. I needed to get together with Grayson to discuss things I’ve been missing at the business and he invited us both over for dinner tonight. I think he wants to show me things are fine between us and put it behind us. Does that sound okay?”

  I hesitated for a split second. I hadn’t seen Grayson since our short interaction on Monday morning at the precinct. Before their argument. But Jack needed his best friend and girlfriend to be okay around each other now more than ever, so I quickly answered. “I’d love to. Why don’t I bring the lasagna over to Grayson’s and we can eat that for dinner?”