Cassie's Christmas Lesson

by Maria Lake

  He picked up a Christmas tree shaped cookie. It was pretty amazing that sugar, butter, eggs and flour could taste so good together, he thought, as he picked up his tablet to get himself caught up with the news. But Tim's words were still going through his head, and Mike soon found himself browsing for information on domestic discipline.

  He hadn't expected to find so many couples including spanking in their marriages. Some of them just referred to it "as this thing we do." Even more surprising were all the testimonials from wives who claimed that domestic discipline brought them closer to their husbands, and helped strengthen their marital bonds. Ominously, though, there were more than a few comments from women whose husbands had forced them to submit to discipline that included harsh, unrelenting corporal punishments. Their abusive husbands had ruined their lives and their sense of self-worth. Obviously, as Tim had put it, mutual consent was necessary for this to work, otherwise it was spousal abuse. Mike was amazed by how many people didn't seem to get the difference.

  He had to admit, domestic discipline was an interesting idea, and it certainly sounded like it had helped couples work out all those petty differences that had recently been plaguing his marriage. Heck, if giving Cassie an occasional warming over was all it took to put an end to the squabbling than he'd be all in. Besides, he had to admit that there was a bit of a thrill to it- there was something pretty impressive about the idea that his wife loved him and respected him so much that she would willingly place herself under his hands and submit to his judgment. And he thought, a bit guiltily, even though he now knew that discipline was just supposed to be about punishing wrongdoing, he had to admit that there was also something pretty exciting about the idea of taking his wife over his lap, her bottom evidently bare, and reminding her who was dominant. As much as he tried to suppress it, he couldn't help but feel a pleasant twitch at the thought. Still, he didn't know if what worked for Tim and Jillian would work for them. And getting Cassie to agree to something like that, well, she was very independent, and he didn't really know how he could convince her of that. Ah well, he thought, probably not for us then. To each their own.

  Mike's Discovery

  Mike turned off his tablet and tidied up, putting his plate and cup in the dishwasher. But, when he bent down to throw his crumb covered napkin in the kitchen trash can, he noticed that there was a pile of receipts lying at the very top. He had seen Cassie dump stuff from her purse before, and they always had the same argument about it, with him urging her to use the shredder to cut down on the chances of identity theft.

  Mike felt funny picking the receipts out of the trash, but they looked clean enough. He took the stack of them into his office, and was about to feed them through the shredder when he suddenly reconsidered. If they were for recent purchases, they ought to hold on to them. He was already determined to take the broken remote-controlled plane back to the store to ask for a replacement. Sure, the boys could sometimes be rough with their things but it shouldn't have fallen apart right out of the box. He had asked Cassie if she had the receipt, but she had said that she couldn't remember where she had put it. He started flipping through the receipts to see if the plane was on any of them.

  As he started skimming through them, Mike realized that the receipts were for purchases from toy stores, department stores, electronics stores and more. He'd always had a good head for numbers, and without intending to, he had started adding up the amounts in his head. When that number topped $10,000, he found himself grasping his desk for support. He was losing his mind, that number couldn't possibly be right!

  Mike sat down and broke out his calculator and ran the numbers again. And sure enough, he got the same result. Over $10,000 in purchases in December. He took a sharp intake of breath. Okay, now, they did both come from large families, and they did have five kids of their own, but more than $10,000 on Christmas gifts? He felt dizzy.

  Cassie was right about the business doing well, but if things ever went bad... And even if things continued to go well, what would happen to their kids? They'd grow up spoiled, lazy... jaded. Does anything matter if you've never had to do anything to get it? It's not like the kids were even working hard at school, and Ethan had recently quit hockey. Instead of taking up another sport, or even picking up a book, he now spent most of his time playing video games and eating junk food. He wasn't the one who let the kids do those things. And while he frequently complained to Cassie about letting the kids get away with too much, he hasn't exactly pulled the head of household card.

  Mike knew he wasn't in any shape to confront Cassie yet, so he just sat in his office for a while playing with a squeezable stress toy until he felt calm.

  Cassie Calls Jillian For Advice

  While Mike fretted over Cassie's spending, Cassie was doing the same, only she was talking about it to her sister-in-law Jillian on the phone.

  “I've really done it this time,” Cassie tearfully confessed. “I don't know what I'm going to do, but we've got a real storm brewing between us tonight.”

  “What happened exactly?” Jill asked, her voice soft and nurturing as always.

  “Mike is upset with me for going overboard on Christmas presents again.”

  “Well, that's not too bad is it?” Jill said soothingly. “Last I checked, the Christmas shopping spree was something of a national obsession. It might not be very spiritual, but it certainly isn't anything out of the ordinary.”

  “I know, I know, and I've tried to explain that to Mike, but he never seems to get my side of things. But this year, I don't know, I just got mad at him I guess, only instead of talking to him about it, I just went out and shopped.”

  “Again, not the healthiest of things, but you are hardly the first or only wife to try to find retail comfort. If there is anything you regret, I'm sure you can return them.”

  “But I can't,” Cassie wailed, “all the presents were opened. And you know what? Instead of feeling joy in giving, I only feel buyer's remorse. Mike was right, they really didn't appreciate it, or at least not in any way as much as they should've. But, as annoyed as Mike was, he's going to is going to be seriously angry with me once he finds out the truth.”

  “I'm sure you are worrying too much about it.”

  “No, I'm not. Things just haven't been going right between us for a while. You know how they say it's the little things that count? Well it seems every little thing is a fight lately. And sometimes I think I'm disagreeing just to give him a hard time. But I really lost control of myself with the shopping. Only I didn't realize how bad it was until after we got home tonight. And part of me just really wants Mike to find out the worst of it. So I took the receipts out of my pocketbook and I dumped them in the trash. It drives Mike crazy when I do that, because then he has to dig them out. And he's definitely going to see them - I left them right on top.”

  “Mike rummages through your trash?” asked Jillian, getting alarmed. “He shouldn't be doing that honey, that's pretty creepy.”

  “No, no, he isn't spying on me,” Cassie explained, 'he just likes to run receipts through the shredder. If he sees anything like that lying in the trash, he's bound to fish it out and bring it over to his office.”

  “So he probably found them already,” Jillian said.

  “Probably not,” Cassie replied, “or he'd be up here already, arguing with me.”

  “So what are you going to do? Are you going to go get them back from the garbage and put them somewhere else? I don't think that would be a very good idea, honey. Nothing good ever comes from hiding things from a husband.”

  “I know, Jillian, I know. Cassie sighed. I want to tell him the truth, but I also don't want to, because I don't think I could face the consequences. I'm terrified that this might be it. That instead of working things out, that once he hears the truth, Mike's just going to fill a suitcase and leave. So yeah, instead of talking to him about it, I took the totally passive-agressive route. Its like I want to get found out... I just can't go on hiding this... it's just too bi
g. But...”

  “Cassie, you know Mike isn't like that. I know he really believes in marriage, particularly the one he is a part of. Every marriage hits a bad patch, it's just work and getting through it together.”

  “I know. I just...I just wish it were easier.”

  “Don't we all,” Jillian laughed.

  “But you and Tim don't have these problems!”

  “No, not any more, but I've told you how we deal with hiccups. It's been a lot easier on me since Tim took full on head of household responsibilities.”

  “I know,” Cassie said, “you've shared plenty of stories. And, I know it makes you both very happy, but I never really thought of it as my cup of tea. But, I can't tell you how many times I've thought about what a relief it would be to me if I told Mike what happened and he responded by simply taking me over his knee. I'd much rather have a sore behind than continue carrying around this pain in my heart.”

  “You're kidding me!”

  “No, its true. I can't tell you how many times I've replayed the various different scenarios in my head, and taking the punishment always seems to come out on top.”

  “So you are really considering it?”

  “In ways I never thought I would. But worse than feeling his hand, I just, I just don't know if I could handle the part of it where he would treat me like I was just some naughty child.”

  “I've told you, Cassie, there's nothing childlike about it. It all feels VERY adult.”

  “Yes, but it still means that Mike would be the one calling the shots, and making all the decisions. I don't mean to disparage your choice Jill, but it just... It's kind of demeaning.”

  “I know it sounds like it could be, but it doesn't feel like it in practice. Tim and I both wound up feeling happier after we decided that Tim should make most of the decisions in our marriage, but that doesn’t mean that's the right fit for you and Mike. Domestic discipline, just like marriage, isn't a 'one size fits all' arrangement. If that's what a couple is considering, well they need to determine how they are going to practice it. Now, Tim always approaches things from a place of caring. And he's never once corrected me for anything that I didn't already know that I had done wrong. Its not my parent's marriage, not by a long shot. If we agree that I've done something really bad, then I'm the one telling him that he needs to spank me for it. And that includes asking for the belt, even though it hurts like H- E- Double-Hockey-sticks!”

  “You really ask him to use his belt?”

  “Look, Cassie, I'm not going to underplay it. Tim has a strong solid hand and it certainly leaves an impression, and I positively cringe when he swings his belt, but after.... afterward I feel so relieved, so absolved. If I get in trouble, I can be sure Tim will punish me for it, but I can also be sure that once he knows about it, that he is there to help me, and that he will do whatever is in his power to resolve things. It hurts Cassie, it really does, to be taken in hand, to be a spanked wife, but once the punishment is over, there's just such a strong feeling of relief. I feel completely free.”

  “You make it sound like how I feel after doing yoga!” Cassie joked.

  “And then of course, I've told you how... how very appealing it is to have Tim take charge of my body like that. Some of our hottest...”

  “Jill,” Cassie laughed, “too much information!”

  “Ha, you don't know the half of it,” Jill joked.

  “Well, considering that you and Tim are nearly two kids ahead of us even though Mike and I have been married longer... I'm pretty sure I get the general idea... But,” she said with a sigh, “once Mike sees those receipts, I don't think a crisis like this can be resolved with a simple old fashioned hand spanking.”

  “Cassie, how bad can it actually be?”

  “It's thousands, Jill, thousands!”

  “Do you know how many?”

  “That's the worst of it- I didn't have the courage to call the credit card company to find out.”

  “But surely there is a card maximum?”

  “It's one of those cards with a really high limit.”

  “Well do you have a guess?

  “Twelve,” she said tearfully, “I'm pretty sure it's upwards of twelve thousand.”

  Jillian sighed. “Cassie, you have to talk to Mike about this. You can't leave a secret like this in your marriage- its just going to fester and cause irreparable damage. Anyway, Mike is bound to find out when it's time to pay the bill, isn't he? You really are better off telling him now instead of later.”

  Jill really did her best to try to calm her down, but Cassie was nearly as agitated at the end of their phone call as she had been at the beginning of it.

  There was really only one person who she could talk to who really could make her feel better about the situation, but she couldn't bear to face his disappointment.

  Facing Her Husband

  After her call with Jill ended, Cassie decided she might as well go downstairs and watch a movie with Mike. A mindless movie would be a welcome distraction, and it would also help fill the silence between the two of them.

  There was no point curling up on the couch in her “holiday best” so she quickly browsed through her dresser for something else to throw on. Off went the silk blouse, her stockings and pencil skirt. She breathed a sigh of relief as she slipped out of her underwire bra and tossed it into the laundry basket. After a long day dressed in her "holiday best," it felt good to change out of restrictive clothing and back into something comfortable. Cassie quickly wiggled into a baggy long sleeve t-shirt and a comfy pair of yoga pants.

  Ready for a dumb comedy, Cassie had just put her hand on the doorknob when she felt it turn. She stepped back as Mike opened the door and entered the room.

  “Sorry,” he said, “didn't realize you on the other side of the door.”

  “Well, we had said we might watch a movie.”

  “Too late for that now, don't you think?”

  “Too late now” echoed in her ears. Was it too late now? It took Cassie a minute before she realized that he had only gestured towards the clock. Don't be an idiot, Cass, she thought to herself. Mike was just saying it had gotten too late to start watching a movie, he wasn't saying it was too late to save their marriage. Her guilt was making her overreact. She felt jittery.

  “And,” he added, in a flat tone, “I think we've got more important things that we need to deal with right now.”

  Cassie looked at her husband, but she couldn't read the expression on his face. Was this about the receipts? Had he found them? No... No... He couldn't have, otherwise he would be fuming, shouting at her. Instead he just spoke calmly. But the look on his face... It wasn't anger... But it certainly wasn't a happy look.... It was more...sad... disappointed…

  “Cassie,” he said, “our marriage, and being a father to our kids, is an incredibly important part of my life. Lately though it seems all we do is bicker. I'm sure I didn't pay it much mind at first, but it's taken over our marriage, and it makes it really hard for me to look forward to spending time alone with you. The last thing I want to do over the holidays is fight with you, but I'm really unhappy with what happened with the presents this year. We specifically sat down and agreed to a budget. Now that wasn't me ordering you around, that was the two of us negotiating spending limits. Now, when people negotiate, that always means that there needs to be some compromises on each side. So, the amount we agreed to was more than I had wanted to spend, but less than what you had originally wanted to spend, correct?”

  Cassie nodded her head in agreement.

  “So when you told me tonight that you had exceeded our budget, how was I supposed to feel?”

  “Still harping on that?” she asked, defensively. “I told you, Christmas only comes once a year, and it makes the kids so happy.”

  “No, Cassie,” he said, “you completely disregarded our agreement and just went and did what you felt like. And it isn't helping our kids any to be so spoiled.”

  “I really don't think spending a .
.. spending a little extra at Christmas is going to ruin anybody!”

  He looked at her evenly. “How much extra did you spend?”

  “I.. I don't know exactly,” she replied.

  “Well, surely you must have some idea, or if not we can always take a look at your receipts and just add it all up...”

  “No... no need to calculate it,” she said, “but I think you aren't going to like it when I tell you that... that I think might have gone over budget by around a hundred or so...”

  “A hundred or so?” he asked, looking directly at her.

  “A... A few hundred, I think.”

  “Why didn't you tell me that directly?”

  “I... I didn't want you to be mad at me,” she replied.

  “Well, of course I'd have been upset, but not as upset as finding out you are hiding things from me and lying to me.”

  “Lying to you? Mike, I never lie to you.”

  “Than what are these?” he asked, pulling out a pocketful of receipts.

  Cassie could feel her head spin. This was it then. This was the moment that was going to destroy their marriage.

  “What am I supposed to do Cass? Because when we got married, you promised to love me, honor me, and obey me. And when you do something like this... Well it certainly wasn't obeying me. And it was also incredibly hurtful and disrespectful. So where is the love in all of this?”

  Cassie started to sob. “I do love you Mike, it's just all our little arguments, they just started to pile up, and sometimes it just gets so frustrating, and then I find myself just doing things to... to just get back at you and to make you mad...”