by Heidi Lewis
“I met someone,” Maria answered, hardly audibly.
“What?” Her mother shouted while looking completely confused by what her daughter had just said.
“Yea, his name is Jack.”
“But… but where? How? When?”
“He’s staying in the room across the hall. I saw him for the first time that day in the oncologist’s office, a few weeks back, and then next thing I know he turned up here.”
Her mother sat shell shocked. It was the quietest she had been in weeks. Eventually, she blurted out,
“Have you… well, you know!”
“Mom! What the hell? No, god no! Not yet. Anyway, I don’t even know if we can. But I like him. Actually, I more than like him. It’s different from anything I’ve ever experienced before. Trust me to find love when it’s too late.”
Swallowing hard, her mom placed both hands on her daughter’s shoulder.
“Now, Maria you listen to me. It’s never too late for love-never! Do you hear me? If you feel strongly about that boy, then follow your heart. No matter how little time you have left.”
It was nine fifty-five pm and the hospice seemed quieter than usual. The sound of footsteps could be heard periodically, up and down the hall but for the most part, an eerie silence had descended.
Jack stared at the clock, willing for the hands to strike ten. He had arranged with Maria that he would sneak across the hall at ten pm. He gave a quick squirt of his aftershave, but immediately regretted doing that, as he coughed profusely. It seemed as if the spray was more overpowering than he had remembered.
He stared in the mirror and looked at his hair. It was standing upright as usual.
“Fuck this!”
Jack headed into the bathroom like a man on a mission. He filled the sink with warm water and bent forwards, dipping his head into the bowl. Then, he dried it softly because his hair was fragile from all the treatment. He lashed hair gel on it until, much to his delight, his hair lay flat with a fashionable quiff at the front. Proud of his achievement, he glanced at the clock.
“Shit, I’m late.”
He opened the door a crack and looked up and down. The hall was empty, so he scurried across to Maria’s room and he knocked once on the door.
“Hey, you!”
Maria sat on the leather chair and she looked proud of herself.
Her wig had been straightened and she wore light makeup on her face. She wore a purple nightdress which highlighted the colour of her eyes.
“Hey” Jack replied, in absolute awe at how stunning she looked. It was the first time he had seen her wearing makeup and she truly mesmerizing. Blushing profusely, he could hardly take his eyes off her as he took a seat on the bed.
“Why are you looking all shy?” she asked coyly.
“Cause, you…you look amazing. I mean, beyond amazing. Just… just perfect, I mean for someone in a nightdress!” Jack joked.
“Aw shucks. You’re too cute, do you know that?”
“I know!” Jack said coyly.
“So, you going to join me?” he patted the bed while raising an eyebrow, Maria giggled loudly and had to silence herself, putting her hand over her mouth.
“You know what I realized today?”
“What?”
“I don’t even know your full name! How strange is that?”
“Maria Kathleen Murphy.”
“Wow, that’s a mouthful!” he laughed.
What’s yours?”
“It sounds stupid. You’ll laugh”
“I won’t. I promise.”
“Jack Cornelius Jerimiah Keegan.”
“Holy shit! And you said mine’s a mouth full!” she laughed hysterically.
“SSShhhh, someone will hear us.”
Jack placed a single finger softly against her lips. Their eyes met and both melted into the other for a long passionate kiss. Intertwined, they continued to kiss for, what felt like, a lifetime.
The light of the moon illuminated the room, romanticising the scene even more. Everything seemed perfect and the reality of their surroundings slipped away. They gave themselves over to love.
Jack pulled back slowly and Maria gazed into his pale blue eyes.
“You’re perfect Jack. Absolutely perfect!”
“I can’t get enough of you. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met!” he replied, while kissing her softly on the forehead.
A sudden feeling of dizziness dragged Maria back to reality. Turning to lie on her back, Jack could sense she was feeling ill. He wrapped his arms around and snuggled as close as possible.
“Are you okay?” he asked, with his concern obvious in his voice.
“The strange thing is I’ve never felt better than I do now Jack, having you here is like a gift from God himself. You are heaven-sent, you’re like an angel.” The words caused his heart to sink, the sadness of his relationship hitting home for the first time.
“I’m so glad I’ve met you, Maria Murphy. If I had a choice I wouldn’t change anything, if I wasn’t sick then I would never have met you, and a life without you is not worth living!”
There they lay, on the hospice bed, forehead to forehead, nose to nose, arm in arm toe to toe no longer two people but intertwined as one.
Drifting in and out of consciousness, they talked through the night, trying desperately to catch up on over twenty years of history. They talked about their lives before illness struck, their previous jobs, relationships, special occasions, holidays, their favourite foods, their family, everything. It was the most random and enjoyable conversation either of them had ever had.
All night they continued to talk, one question leading to another, back and forth continuously, and time lost its meaning.
“If you could have done one more thing while you were still healthy what would it have been?” Maria asked drowsily, the broken sleep pattern starting to tell on her system.
“I’ve always wanted to see the world but…. but now, I see the world in your eyes, you are my world!”
“I feel the same, it’s strange, but I can hardly remember life without you.”
Their lips met again, this time the passion deeper than before. This was no longer a simple crush or lust. It was something more powerful than they could have imagined.
The morning sun filled the room with golden light. Slowly opening his eyes, Jack stared at Maria as she slept. Although her wig was slightly misplaced and her makeup was slightly smudged from the pillows, she still looked stunningly beautiful. He watched as her chest rose up and down and he could hear a strong wheezing sound with every breath.
It had been three days since they had arrived at the hospice and time was not on their side. He knew they were both getting a bit weaker and a bit sicker as each day passed. Soon they would both cease to exist.
I wonder how long we have.
“Stop staring at me! You’re creeping me out,” Maria said, her eyes slightly open and both pupils struggling to cope with the brightness of the room.
“Sorry, I can’t help it. You’re too damn pretty, you know that?”
“I don’t feel pretty,” Maria replied, straightening her wig.
“Well, trust me, you are!” He planted another kiss on her lips, savouring every millisecond. Her smell, her lips, her taste. Everything about her was utterly irresistible.
“I had better go or we will both be in trouble,” Jack whispered reluctantly.
“Yea, I guess. My parents will be here soon anyway,” Maria replied.
Jack jumped up and started searching around the room for the dressing gown and slippers he had somehow lost in last night’s passion. He spotted the dressing gown on the floor and both slippers that had been kicked haphazardly under the bed. He stopped at the door and blew an air kiss in Maria’ direction. She reached out her hand and pretended to grasp it and placed it on her heart. Jack’s smile nearly split his face.
Scurrying across the hall, Jack closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief, as he leaned against th
e back of the door. Opening his eyes, he was startled to find Patricia standing there, grinning.
“So what time do you call this eh?”
“Oh give a guy a break!” he laughed.
“Listen, Honey. Your business is your business but I’ve got better things to do than wait here to give you your meds.”
“Yea I know. Sorry, about that.”
“Well, I guess I should know where to find you tomorrow morning then?” She said jokingly.
“Maybe. Let’s just get this out of the way.”
Jack sat upright on the as the drip was attached. He noticed that today he felt sicker than ever.
Every bone in his body ached, he felt like he was about to vomit and he was sweating.
Patricia noticed his discomfort and asked him to lie back on the bed as she took his blood pressure.
“Honey, all these late nights are starting to take their toll on your health. Your blood pressure is very low and you look exhausted.”
Jack stared out at the gardens and smiled to himself as he watched the swans drift across the shimmering lake.
Patricia gave him a knowing look. A woman of her age knew that look. A look that revealed everything that was going on in his heart. Jack was in love.
“You know what’s wrong with you, Honey? You’ve got the love bug!”
“Oh shut up!” he jeered.
“Just try and get some rest, you hear me?”
“Yes Ma’am,” he replied while lifting his hand to his head in the style of a military salute.”
He watched Patricia leave the room. Kindness and positivity seemed to radiate from her very being, he imaged what her children were like and that they must be the luckiest kids in the world to have a mother like her.
***
The morning drifted by as mornings do. Visitors came in their droves, while nurses and the odd doctor scurried about the hallways. Patients spent what little time they had left, in their rooms or occasionally walking around the hospice grounds. Jack had to admit there was something very peaceful about the place. It felt isolated from the world, almost like a little slice of heaven on the outskirts of the busy metropolis of Charlestown. Although he had only been there a few days, he had come to like the place. Not just because Maria was there but because, much to his surprise, the place seemed to be filled with hope, love and positivity.
His mother arrived later that morning. It had been the first time they had spoken since their chat the previous day.
“Morning my love, how you doing today?” his mother asked while planting a big sloppy kiss on his cheek.
“I’m doing okay. And you?”
They shared a knowing look. She knew he was asking her on a much deeper level.
“I’m doing alright, honestly. So what’s this I hear about you having a new girlfriend?” A look of surprise engulfed Jacks face. Johnny, he thought to himself.
“Don’t mind Johnny. His imagination is running away with him,”
“That’s not the rumour around this place. So go on, tell me all about this girl!”
“Well remember that day in the oncologist’s office, the girl that came out crying with her parents, right before we were called in.”
“Yea I remember” his mother looked rather perplexed by what she was hearing.
“Well, that’s her?”
“What do you mean, that’s her?”
“Our eyes met that day in the oncologist’s office and next thing I know I’m in here my first night, I hear somebody crying across the hall, I go to see if everything is okay and it was her. What are the chances?”
“Oh, I… I don’t know what to say. And you like this girl?”
“Honestly mom, like is an understatement, she’s amazing, it’s not just because we’re in the same situation, it’s so much more than that. It’s like fate or something. I know it sounds crazy but it’s true. There’s this huge connection between us, it’s like nothing either of us has felt before. She’s a gift from God.”
“Wow…I…”
“I know it’s a lot to take in, we’ve only known each other two days but we feel like we’re known each other forever. That’s the thing about this place an hour feels like a day, a day feels like a week and a week feels like a month. Times seems to slow down here.”
She had always wanted to see Jack happy and in love, but never in a million years had she envisaged it to be under such dire circumstances. She didn’t know what to feel, happiness and sadness and visions of a future which would never come to pass swirled around her head.
“Her name’s Maria and she’s twenty-four. She lives in eastern Charlestown. Her mom owns a ladies’ boutique in town, and she’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. She’s just amazing! It’s strange, three days ago I felt like the unluckiest guy in the world and now I feel like I have just won the lottery.”
His mother sat in deep thought, trying to process all this new information.
“Which boutique does her mother own?”
“What? That’s the first question you can think of?”
“Well, I might know her.
“I don’t know but I’ll find out later.”
“Do we get to meet this girl?”
“Am … I don’t know, I guess. It’s not something we’ve talked about yet, to be honest.”
“Well think about it. Any girl that makes you this happy has my approval.” She smiled warmly unsure how she truly felt about everything.
“Tell Johnny I’m going to kill him, by the way.”
“Oh stop. He didn’t say a word. Just call it mother’s intuition.
“How’s dad doing?”
“Not too bad… but not so good either.”
“I know, I could tell. I’ll try talking to him later when he comes in. I just wish he’d open up more.”
“Your father deals with things at his own pace. Just give him time.”
“But Mom, time is the one thing I haven’t got!”
A prolonged silence ensued and the reality of his bleak situation cutting like a knife.
***
At lunchtime, the catering staff wheeled in trays of food to all the rooms up and down the corridor. Although there was a small canteen in the building, most of the inhabitants were unable or unwilling to use it. Jack lay on the bed. His mom had returned home to catch up on some housework, but Jack suspected she just needed to get away and try to process all that she had been told. He wondered if telling her about Maria had been such a good idea after all or if instead, he should have denied all charges.
“Now, here we go!” One of the catering staff said as she struggled to lift in a tray containing vegetable soup and some brown soda bread.
“Wow, thanks so much, it looks great.”
“No problem, enjoy!”
He was lying. It did not look great. It looked like prison food. He stared at the generic green soup staring up at him and his stomach churned at the very sight of it. As the catering assistant left the room the door was ajar. Peering across the hallway he could see Maria sitting upright in bed with a tray containing her lunch in front of her. Rising from the bed he lifted his tray and made his way across the hall.
“Mind if I join you?” The sound of Jack’s voice jolted Maria from her daydream. A beaming smile gave Jack the reassurance he needed.
“Sure thing!”
He placed his tray gently on the small circular table and made his way towards Maria and kissed her softly on the lips. Her lips were smooth and moist, he found her feminine scent surprisingly arousing. Although as pretty as ever, he could tell she wasn’t feeling so good. Her skin seemed slightly more yellow than the day before and the wheezing in her chest had grown louder since earlier that morning.
“Looks like you have as much mind for the soup as I do!”
“Yea don’t worry it looks worse than it is.”
Her giggle soon giving way to a sudden bout of coughing. Jack stared at her, worried and afraid. She looked pale, worn and sickly. The band
age on her head from the fall the previous day only adding to her fragility.
“What are you staring at?” she smirked.
“You, you’re a beauty!”
“Shut up Prince Charming, there’s only so much a girl can take!”
“You know you love me!”
“Do I?”
“I don’t know, do you?” he retaliated.
“Possibly”
“Oh, see, I knew it.” Jack jumped around the room jokingly shouting “She loves me, she loves me!” causing her to erupt with laughter.
“Sit down before you fall!”
Already feeling dizzy, he sat down on the leather chair, happy in the knowledge that Maria seemed just as smitten as he. They both tried to eat their soup, both making jokes about its strange colour and watery texture.
“Listen,” Jack said while buttering a slice of soda bread. “I hope you don’t mind but I told my Mom about you today.” Maria tried hard to hide the feeling of excitement that was surging through every fibre of her being.
“Why would I mind? Besides, I’ve told my mom about you too.”
“You have?”
“Sure, I mean it’s not a big deal right?”
“Not at all!” Jack stared into his bowl of soup secretly delighted with Maria’s response.
Chapter Thirteen
“You know what I’d love?” Jack lay alongside Maria in her bed, his arms wrapped around her. The hospice seemed quieter than most nights. A storm was in full force, winds howled outside and heavy rain lashed against the window.
“What?” Maria asked struggling to stay awake to enjoy Jack’s company.
“I’d love to get out of here for a day, just one day with you. Out there in the real world again.”
Maria stared up at the ceiling and pondered the thought. Images of her and Jack strolling through Charlestown, hand in hand, filled her mind. She thought about how nice it would be to even pretend to be like every other couple for just a while. One day of normality with Jack would be worth a thousand without him.
“What would we do though? Where would we go?”
“I have no idea.” Jack listened to the howling wind. He was deep in thought.
“If you could do one thing, in the real world again, what would it be?”