Insurmountable

by T. E. White

  My mood darkened and I changed course to work off my black mood. The water was nearly at freezing temperature so I opted for the rowing machine in the weight room instead of the actual boat.

  “Dude, are you going to be on there all day?”

  I glanced up to my time counter to see that I’d been on the machine for over an hour. “Sorry man,” I said while hopping out and passing it on. I headed for the free weights and did arm curls while I pictured my girl moaning out some other guy’s name. I slammed down the weights, needing air.

  As if I were a winter storm, I breezed into my place and caught sight of Gavin playing video games with our roommates Dave and Tom, aka Big Tigger. With a finger extended in Gavin’s direction, I said, “This is all your fault,” before I stomped up the stairs.

  It was juvenile, and I heard Gavin calling after me with What did I do? But I wasn’t in the mood, so I tossed on my head phones and opened a book. My door was locked and I tried to find calm in my disordered life. How had things gotten like this?

  By morning, I felt better recapturing my Zen. No girl was going to put my life in a tailspin. Gavin was right. I was working too hard for a girl who was cool with us just being friends. I did my morning row on the bay despite the weather. Not being on the water could have contributed to my foul mood. Classes breezed by and practice went smoothly. We’d even found a replacement for Gavin, so things were looking up.

  The following day continued on a Zen-ward path. Until later that night….

  “Tade.” I knew that voice. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, there she stood in jeans and a hoodie, spot lit by the lamp above her. I hadn’t sat with her in Astronomy class. I’d showed up late and she’d been talking to another classmate— of the male variety. I bit my tongue and played it cool. She was free to do whatever the hell she wanted to do, I’d told myself.

  I faked a smile and offered a “What’s up?”

  “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

  It’d only been two days, but who was counting? “Yeah, been busy.”

  “Maybe we could talk like you wanted to the other day.” She bit at the corner of her mouth, looking nervous. What was that about?

  Did I want to talk? I’d gotten my life on track and as long as I didn’t see her, things were good. “Sure. You want to get some coffee?”

  “Yeah.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. I almost reached out to take care of the other side when I remembered what she said about us not touching because we weren’t a couple.

  That didn’t stop the attraction that I felt for her, or the wood that grew like a branch in my pants despite the fact that she wasn’t even naked.

  A sob broke the sound barrier behind us. At the same time we turned to see what the awful noise was. I scowled when I saw her friend barreling down on us like a pool cue in search of the eight ball. The blonde looked like she was wearing black Adidas stripes down each cheek.

  Red mouthed I’m sorry as she herded her friend in the direction she’d come. I scratched at my head until I spotted Gavin watching from a spot down another path. Coincidence? I didn’t think so. I marched in his direction, wondering how his girl troubles affected my relationship or whatever Red and I were.

  “Dude,” I started, then two girls approached, wearing coy smiles and lot fewer clothes than I’d expect, considering the temperature outside.

  “Gavin. Tade. You guys into a party?” I didn’t know these girls, but I wasn’t surprised they knew my name. We’d thrown some infamous parties the last two years, though not so much this year.

  “I’m always ready to party,” was his response.

  He glared at me. Why the hell not? I could use a good distraction. We followed the girls who made a show of walking in front of us, and tossing back wicked looks along the way.

  “Score,” Gavin said under his breath.

  I didn’t bother with a response. We headed inside a dorm. Parties happened here too, usually along a hall or between a couple of rooms. When I didn’t hear any music down the dead-end hall we entered, that should have been my clue that it wasn’t that kind of party.

  They opened an empty room and I quickly discovered that two was a crowd and four meant a different kind of party.

  Gavin sat when one of the girls handed him a beer. I stood, wondering how to get out of this situation.

  “Want to play strip poker?” one of the girls offered.

  Gavin quickly said, “You have some cards?”

  Both girls glanced at each other and then the other said, “Skip the cards,” and peeled off her shirt. Now this shit didn’t happen every day. It wasn’t that it was hard to get pussy, but it was never this easy.

  A door opened behind me and a part of a name like Meg started to come out of the person behind me, until a gasp left her lips. I knew that fate had shit on me that day. I stood with my hand on my chin like I was enjoying the show. And that is how Red caught me.

  13

  This time I wasn’t the ass, so I went after her. She hadn’t run, so in a couple of strides I caught her arm and spun her around to face me.

  “It isn’t what it looked like.”

  “Yeah, it doesn’t matter.” Her eyes were like artillery trained on me, ready to fire.

  I was tired of playing games. I wanted this girl with every fiber in my being. Which was why I was ready to bolt from that room before she’d come in.

  “Doesn’t it? You’re the one that didn’t want to define our relationship.”

  She glared at me. “No, you’re the one I keep catching with girls flinging themselves at you. I shouldn’t be surprised.”

  She tried to wrench free twisting her arm this way and that, but I wasn’t letting go. Not this time. I moved closer, leaning in a little. “Tell me what you want.”

  The challenge in my eyes was plain to see. I dared her to say the truth, if she didn’t I would.

  “I want a boyfriend.” With her teeth gritted, she broke out of my hold.

  “Will anyone do?”

  If she’d been related to Superman, I’d have been cut up by laser beams. “No, I want you, and I want you to admit you want me too.”

  Slowly, I let the smile form like a drawing. “You know I want you.”

  We crashed together our mouths finding each other like guided missiles. I missed her taste, and her touch. I drove her tiny body into the wall. She climbed me like a professional lumberjack, curling her legs around my waist as I ground into her, needing her kiss like oxygen.

  “Keeping it moving, people,” a voice rang out like a megaphone. “This isn’t an X-Rated hall, take that somewhere else.”

  I pulled back, drinking in air, never taking my eyes off of hers. Hers crinkled in the corners, filled with amusement; she grabbed my hand and twined her fingers with mine.

  “Your place.” Her mouth expelled a cloud of frost.

  There wasn’t a certainty that this was heading in the direction I craved—besides my bedroom—but I said, “Sure,” anyway as she moved with purposeful steps.

  “I should ask,” she began but didn’t stop her movements. “Did you and that girl the other night…?”

  “No, she just talked until she decided she needed her beauty sleep.” I remember how I sat daydreaming about Red while the twin Gavin hadn’t snagged talked and talked, not needing my input at all.

  She nodded, giving me a pleased grin.

  “Biscuit.” I hadn’t called her that in a while so her steps faltered a second. “Have you been with any other guy?”

  “Of course not.” I didn’t ask about the guys I’d seen her with. That could come later.

  Bumping walls while we tongue tangled our way up my stairs, we barely making it to my room. She closed the door and leaned up against it with her hands tucked behind her. I slipped my hands behind the curtain of her hair and took her lips before exploring her mouth with my tongue. She tasted like sour apple, which contrasted with her wild strawberry scent. I kissed down the line of her jaw until her finger
s curled around the hem of my shirt.

  I stepped back but only for a second. I helped her get the garment over my head and arms. If it hadn’t been for winter, she might have been touching my skin. It was my turn to help her remove her top layer as she stared in my eyes for as long as she could. The hoodie’s retreat left her hair messy around her head. I took a brief moment to sweep it back before I was kissing her again. I wasn’t in a rush, and still unsure how far she was going to take this.

  Her greedy hands became urgent, pushing up the long-sleeved tee that was the current barrier between us. Soon we traded turns until she stood in a bra and I in a white undershirt. I didn’t wait for her to take my t-shirt off. She was already showing far more skin than I. I wanted this to be fair. I didn’t want her to feel like I was taking advantage.

  The tips of her fingernails grazed up my chest and I shivered in response, only to take her mouth again. I glided my hands up the sides of her ribcage to stop at the undersides of her breasts. I waited a second more before stroking the pads of my thumbs over the materials of the bra. It was surprisingly thin and I felt the tips of her breasts tighten in response. I groaned in her mouth only to groan again when her hand slipped into my pants and around the rod that was made of steel in there.

  I dropped my hands to the button of her jeans and snapped it open. I waited for her to do the same. Then we moved to shrug out of them while watching the other. She finished last and stood hesitantly before me in her underwear. You would think we hadn’t explored each other on the boat the way we stared at each other, waiting for someone to make a move.

  Like a matador, Red called to me without words and I moved towards her again, drawn to taste her mouth and exploring her flesh with my hands. She was just as eager when she grabbed my dick again. I felt cool air as the head popped from the confines of my boxer briefs.

  With slow steps I drew her back towards the bed. When the back of my calf touched the bed, I pulled her down on top of me as we rocked the bed against the wall causing a banging noise in the process. She giggled in my mouth and had no idea how maddening that sound was. Her hair fanned on my neck as she began to place hot kisses on my torso. I grabbed her ass, needing to feel the friction between us.

  She made her way to my shorts and tugged them down after I let her go. Her mouth circled my cock in the best way. She didn’t forget anything I told her before, as I began to lose myself in her skillful mouth. Just as I neared the edge, I pulled myself free, instantly regretting the action but knowing I desired the full prize. I flipped her over, and not too gently. I almost apologized when she laughed and pushed strands of hair from her face. Not wanting to spoil the moment, I tugged her panties down. Then I spread her legs to find her pussy begging to be licked. So I did. Between the taste of her and my dick wedged between me and the bed, I thought I might lose it.

  I sucked and sucked then moved a finger to her opening. She was so tiny, I knew I needed to prepare her for my entrance. She stilled, so I froze too.

  “I should tell you something.” I met her eyes as she lifted herself up on her elbows. I had no clue what she was about to say, but my dick starting to go limp was a sign that I feared the next words to come from her mouth. It couldn’t be good if she stopped me in the middle.

  “I’ve never done this before.”

  She could have been speaking a foreign language because I was sure she had been on the boat when we traded sexual favors. My face must have said it all, because she added, “I mean, I’m a virgin.”

  There was a moment when sound disappeared as if sucked into a vacuum. I hadn’t guessed. She had been eager to suck me off that one time. I just assumed.

  I didn’t notice I’d fallen back on my ass to sit on the floor until she scooted to the edge of the bed and gazed down at me. For several seconds, I didn’t glance at her. I looked at the floor with my hands planted behind me.

  “That’s not a problem is it?”

  14

  The problem was, the mood was gone. I was no longer hard. It wasn’t like every guy didn’t hope that a girl he was really into hadn’t been touched. Every guy wanted to be the first. However there was a responsibility, and consequences when bedding a virgin. Where we guys just wanted to get that first experience behind us, girls wanted to wait for something or someone special. In front of me was a woman, not a girl. And if she’d waited this long, there had to be a reason.

  I licked my lips, hoping that my question wouldn’t come out wrong. “Why me?”

  She huffed and I quickly added, “It’s not like I’m complaining¸ but you had a boyfriend and you and he....” I moved my wrist in a circling motion to suggest more.

  She slumped some. She seemed more uncomfortable with the question than the fact that she sat before me in just her bra and no underwear. “I dated Charles for six…almost seven years.”

  Well, that was a hell of long time. I kept my mouth shut though.

  “We dated in high school, and I thought he might be the one. But it was never the right time, you know?”

  I’d heard a lot about American high school rituals through friends. “What about Prom?”

  She blushed. “Unfortunately for him, I was on my period.”

  That made me squeamish so I was happy when she continued.

  “It was always about him. Since I wasn’t giving it up, he said I should give him blow jobs to keep him from moving onto to another willing girl.”

  I had pegged him for an asshole and she was only confirming it.

  “I loved him, so I did it. He never warned me about coming just gave me a surprise in my mouth each time. But I loved him. He never once offered to get me off. Oh, he’d accidently get me there, dry-humping me in the back of his car, hoping I would finally give in.”

  That explained her getting off that day by rubbing up against me. Had that been the only pleasure she’d known?

  “He promised to wait. We went to separate colleges but he swore I would be the one, and he’d wait.”

  It was the second time she mentioned him waiting. That could only mean he hadn’t waited.

  “I came by his house on break this past year earlier than expected. I was like family, so I was ushered in without them announcing me. When I got to his room he was on the phone talking to some girl about all the stuff they’d done together and what he planned to do next.”

  Had they just broken up right before we met? Didn’t her friend say something like she didn’t do pretty well?

  “I opened his door and let him know I heard, then I causally walked out. He didn’t chase me, only called me later to apologize. He didn’t try to get me back either.”

  There wasn’t any way for me to discern whether she was disappointed with that knowledge. Her tone was flat, matter-of-fact like.

  All the heat had left the room. I didn’t think it was going to happen tonight. That didn’t mean I couldn’t ask questions. I needed certain answers to know if this was going to work out between us.

  “Why did you stay with him so long if he wasn’t the one?”

  She tucked hair behind her ear, and I knew that to mean she was uncomfortable. “It was easy and I did love him— or I wanted to be in love with him.”

  “You waited six years, and you’ve know me a fraction of that time. Why now? Why me?”

  Her blue eyes met mine in a hard stare. “I’m twenty one. I’m not a little girl anymore. I can make my own decisions, and I choose you.”

  She may have chosen me but was I ready for what would come after. Most virgins had a way of becoming like static cling after the deed was done. They mixed lust with love and it could be nasty if you didn’t reciprocate.

  “But why me?” I was shooting myself in the foot but I had to know.

  There was a long pause before she said, “Every time I’m with you, you’ve been nothing but attentive. You haven’t put pressure on me to do anything I didn’t want to do. You don’t paw all over me unless you think I want you to. You gave me an orgasm after I gave you one. You
kissed me after I gave you a BJ. There are so many reasons. And I feel like you would make this the best experience for me. We may not be head over heels in love with each other, but I feel like I can trust you with this.”

  Her speech had me slack-jawed. She’d certainly sounded like she’d thought about this, but there was one more thing.

  “You just broke up with you boyfriend. I don’t want to be your rebound guy.”

  She pointed at me. “See, that’s what I’m talking about. Most guys would have grinned and gone for a condom before I finished talking.” She shook her head, hair coming free from her ear. I leaned forward to restrain it again. “But you’re wrong. I haven’t just broken up with him. We broke up at the beginning of last summer break.”

  I stared into the dark space between my bed and the floor, trying to decide what to do next. Even if I decided to go forward, the mood was broken. Several of her fingers lifted my head so I met her eyes. “I want this. I want you.”

  And in the next moment she tackled me to the floor, bringing back the fire as she became the aggressor. She rolled her hips over mine and desire came back hard and fast. With nimble fingers, I unclasped her bra, tugging the garment free from the space between us. Her soft breasts pressed into my bare chest but I wanted more. I rolled her over as we remained on the rug. I rained kisses on her skin before taking the first bud in my mouth. I filled my hand with the other as she arched, pulling the peak free from my lips.

  My dick was like a divining rod. It pointed the way as I lowered myself between her legs again. If this was her first time, I did have work to do. I used my mouth and only dipped a finger slightly in to open the way for my head to do the deed. I could have used my fingers to break the barrier, but she deserved tradition. All the while, I worked her into a frenzy until she came. Only then did I sit up on my knees and reach into my bedside table drawer for a condom.