Holding Honor (Ashland Pride Book 9)

by R. E. Butler

  “How is she?” James asked.

  “Good,” Jax said. “She’s confused and scared about some things. She suffered alone with the females all this time, without anyone to talk to about her feelings and what she learned about her past when her memories came back.”

  “Elijah said she has a daughter,” John said. “She’s not like the other females, though, so that’s good news.”

  Jax explained about the video chat with Honor’s dad and daughter.

  “We’re going to drive to King after work on Friday,” Holden said. “We’ll probably stay for a week or two.”

  “Do you think she’ll want to stay in King?” James asked.

  “We don’t know,” Holden said. “Right now, she just wants to feel safe and come to terms with her past. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. But wherever she is will be home for us. Here, or in King.”

  “I understand,” James said.

  Honor joined them, and Rue asked, “Would you like something to eat or drink?”

  “I’m fine, thanks.”

  “So,” James said, “we want you to know that we fully understand about the curse and the poisoning, and that your behavior up until you were freed from it wasn’t your fault.”

  “Thanks. Jax and Holden told me about the curse, and Jilly’s transformation.”

  John opened the mountain lion history book that had been given to them by the panther clan, and pushed it across the table to Honor. The page was open to the part about the early history of their people, beginning with the creation of the shifters and the goddess’s love for the lions.

  There was silence in the kitchen while Honor read. When she was finished, she sat back in the chair and said, “Maybe she didn’t really love lions as much as everyone thinks.”

  “Why do you say that?” John asked.

  “She cursed not only the group of females who caused the problem, but all future generations. It’s just a shitty thing to do to people. How many families have been torn apart because of the curse? How many males and females weren’t mated because of it? If that goddess was here right now, I’d give her a swift kick in the shin.”

  “A lot of us feel that way,” Rue said. “It’s monstrously unfair that your people are still suffering. I’d suggest you tell the females about the curse, but I doubt they’d listen.”

  “I wouldn’t have believed it myself,” she said. “Even when the curse was broken, I still didn’t understand what was happening.”

  “We want to know if you think the females will come after you the way they did for Jilly,” James asked.

  “I don’t know, and that’s the truth. Of the females in the house, only two were willing to help me. They didn’t do it because they suddenly cared for me, they just don’t care in general and didn’t like the aggravation of having someone kept prisoner in the house. Victoria is the head of the pride now. She’s not as fanatical as Tanya was about getting revenge on everyone, but she’s very pro-female, anti-everything-else, so it’s possible she’ll come for me eventually.”

  “We have a lot of security systems in place,” John said. “There are cameras and alarms around the perimeter of our territory and this house, and also the territory where Rhett and the others live. If they come here, we’ll have warning beforehand, but if they strike elsewhere then you might be a sitting duck. It’s best to not go anywhere alone, and always be aware of your surroundings.”

  “Okay,” Honor said. “I don’t have a driver’s license, a car, or a phone anyway, so it’s not like I could go anywhere even if I was inclined.”

  “You’re not a prisoner here,” James said. “You should feel free to come and go as you wish. Just be smart about it.”

  “I will,” she said.

  “Maybe they’ll finally leave you alone and stay the heck up there forever,” Rue said.

  “One can hope,” she said.

  Holden wasn’t sure that she really expected the females would leave her alone, and he wasn’t sure he did, either. But whether they were in Ashland or King, he and his brother would keep her safe, no matter what.

  “I think we’re good here,” James said, pushing his chair back and standing. “Most of the pride is going to be here for breakfast in the morning around eight. I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed by meeting everyone, but we’d really like for you to join us.”

  “As long as no one wants to throw me in jail for my past behavior, I don’t mind,” she said.

  “Not at all,” James said.

  They said goodnight and headed to the stairs. Jax and Holden grabbed their bags and carried them up to the second floor. “My room okay?” Holden asked, opening his door and flipping on the light.

  “Sure,” Jax said. To Honor he said, “My room is next door, but I’ll sleep in here with you both.”

  “Okay.” She toed off her shoes with a yawn.

  “I don’t know if this place feels like home yet or not, but we’re both glad you’re here,” Holden said as he stripped.

  “I’m glad I’m here, too,” she said.

  Jax turned off the light and the three of them climbed into bed, Honor between them. She snuggled into Holden’s embrace, pulling Jax against her back and holding his hand to her chest.

  “If I didn’t say it already, thank you for coming for me,” she murmured.

  Holden kissed her forehead and breathed in the scent of her lioness, like sweet grass and sunshine. “We’ll always come for you, sweetheart.”

  “Just don’t plan on going anywhere for the next sixty years or so,” Jax told her.

  “Just sixty?” she said with a chuckle.

  “At the very least,” Holden said.

  Chapter 7

  In the morning, Honor woke first, her cat anxiously ready to face the pride. She trusted Holden and Jax to keep her safe, and although she didn’t know James and John very well, she was going to take them at their word that she was welcome in the house and with the pride. She’d honestly never cared if anyone wanted her around before. Females accepted other females, period, and everyone else could go to hell. But the pride was automatically accepting of the mates of their people, whether they were lions or not – and whether they’d behaved horribly in the past or not.

  She slipped from between her mates and picked up her bag. Not for the first time, she wished she had more clothes, and nicer things. It amazed her that not only had the curse stolen her family from her, it had also made it nearly impossible for her to care about anything. Even how she looked. She glanced back at her still-sleeping mates and smiled. They were so sexy, she was tempted to crawl back into bed and wake them up so they could enjoy each other’s company. But it had been a long trip from Canada, and she wanted them to get as much rest as possible.

  As she was about to go into the bathroom, she heard a soft knock on the bedroom door. Opening it, she smiled in surprise at Melody. She stepped into the hall, shutting the door silently. Melody was Jax and Holden’s niece, but several years earlier when some of her females had been in King and found her, Honor had ordered the females to kidnap her and bring her to Canada. She’d been trapped in that house for a year before she escaped.

  “I hope I didn’t wake you,” Melody whispered. “I was… I don’t know, I couldn’t sleep. I heard someone moving around and I thought maybe we could talk.”

  “Your uncles are still sleeping,” Honor said. “I was going to grab a shower.”

  Melody lifted a paper sack and said, “I wasn’t sure if you had clothes or toiletries, so I brought some things for you.”

  “That was really sweet of you, thanks.” Honor took the bag. “We can talk in Jax’s room.”

  Melody nodded. Honor led her to the bedroom next to Holden’s. She turned on the overhead light and waited for Melody to join her, then shut the door.

  Melody crossed her arms and exhaled audibly. “I hated the females for a long time. After I was kidnapped and kept locked up, then escaped, and then was kidnapped a second time and nearly killed by
the females living near King, I thought it would be far better if you all just rotted up there in the north.”

  “You must have hated every female in existence.”

  “I did. Because the females wouldn’t leave me alone and just let me and my mates live our lives, I had to kill one of them. I can’t tell you how much I wrestled with that. I hated myself, and I hated the females. I’ve never been sorry that I protected myself and Micah by killing Layla – she was planning to kill me and forcibly breed my mate – but I hated that they put me in that position.”

  Honor’s heart was heavy. Melody was young, and had been through far too much just to be with her mates.

  “I wish I could take back what happened to you.”

  Melody rubbed her temple. “Me, too. It took me a long time to work through my feelings about what happened. I’ve been able to move past it, finally, because I realized that if I hadn’t been kidnapped in the first place, I probably would never have met my mates. And if I’d never met them, then Jilly might never have met her mates and had her curse broken. A lot of bad stuff happened, but really wonderful things have come from it. I guess in the end, what I want you to know is that even though you were instrumental in me being kept locked up in Canada for a year, I’m not holding a grudge against you.”

  Honor’s brows rose. “You’re not?”

  “You’re surprised?”

  “Well, you have every right to be pissed. I’m pissed at the females for not letting me leave months ago.”

  “The males believe that the females who are still under the curse aren’t responsible for their actions until they’re freed from the curse. I was fortunate to be raised away from any females at all, so I was never cursed. I’m the way our people were supposed to be, not the way things are now. That goddess is a bitch and I hope she’s dead.”

  “I was worried you might hate me.” Actually, Honor was worried that every single mountain lion in the pride was going to hate her, and shun Holden and Jax just for being her mates.

  Melody smiled sadly. “When I first came here, the males thought I was lying about not being like the other females, and they locked me up in a room downstairs. My mates rescued me and took me to King, and let’s just say there was no warm welcome there except with Micah and Tristan’s dads. Because of what happened with Jilly, the pride knows that there is a chance for change with our people. When my uncles said that they’d shared blood with you, I hoped you’d come for them on your own. I couldn’t remember where the house was up there, and it took me this long to figure it out.”

  “I would have come here if I could’ve escaped.”

  “I believe you,” Melody said. “I hear you have a daughter. Do you think she was poisoned?”

  “As far as my dad knows, she was poisoned once when she was four. She’s only fifteen, but she doesn’t act like she’s been fully cursed.”

  “Well, that’s a bit of good news,” Melody said, smiling. She tilted her head, listened intently for a moment, and then said, “I hear my little one up and asking for me, so I need to scoot. I’ll see you downstairs for breakfast.”

  “Okay. Thanks for coming to talk to me.”

  Melody hugged Honor, and it made tears spring to her eyes. She’d never gotten to hug any of the females goodbye. Granted, most of them hadn’t cared about her as anything but a pride member, but she’d cared for Gretchen and Julia. Maybe they’d find their mates someday and not be cursed any longer.

  She didn’t want anyone to be cursed anymore.

  * * *

  After cleaning up, Honor waited for her mates to get ready. With every passing minute, her nerves ratcheted as she neared the time to face the pride. Holden turned from the closet, tugging a shirt over his head. She was too distracted to even notice his sexy abs.

  “Sweetheart,” he said gently as he sat next to her on the bed. “You don’t need to be afraid.”

  “I know. You keep saying that.”

  He smiled. “It’s the truth. What’s worrying you so much?”

  “That they’ll tell me to leave.”

  “They won’t. But so what if they did? Jax and I would just pack up and take you someplace else.”

  She liked that he was willing to stand by her side. Part of her had known that they would go wherever she was, but she didn’t want them to lose their friends and pride because of her.

  She leaned against him, and when he put his arm around her she snuggled close. She’d never felt so comforted in her life as she was with them. They settled everything inside her that struggled with her past and her emotions.

  “I guess that, because I never trusted outsiders when I was with the females, I don’t understand why the pride would welcome me.”

  “Because we know the truth about the curse. And everyone in this house knows that you were released from it, and that you’re our mate. They welcome you because you’re our mate, but they’ll accept you because you’re wonderful.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Of course you are,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “And you have excellent taste in mates.”

  She let out a snorting laugh. “You might be a little biased.”

  “Well, I’m not entirely perfect, so probably. I don’t want you to worry about the pride. James and John are the leaders, and they set the tone. They met us last night and welcomed you. And Melody came to see you this morning, and she accepts you, too.”

  “So you’re telling me I’m worrying over nothing?”

  “Well, not nothing. You have a lot of baggage to deal with from your past. No one here is struggling with the curse like you. Even Jilly didn’t have to deal with it as long as you did, because she was freed when she nearly eighteen. But the past is allowed to stay in the past. You can look at this as an opportunity to start over with the pride. Who doesn’t like a fresh start?”

  “Good point,” she said.

  Jax joined them in the bedroom. “Everything okay?” His gaze pinged between her and Holden.

  “Just nervous,” she admitted.

  “I told her it’s all good,” Holden said.

  “Well, that’s true,” Jax said. “And I hope you know that we wouldn’t let you meet anyone if we thought they were going to be jackasses to you.”

  She snorted out a laugh. “I appreciate it.”

  “Let’s go have breakfast with the pride,” Holden said as he stood. He held out his hand to her and she took it, linking their fingers. “Then we’ll get your driver’s license taken care of and pick up a phone for you.”

  “And then?” she asked.

  “The day is yours,” Jax said.

  “I can’t wait.”

  They walked down to the first floor. The voices from the kitchen quieted as they approached, and she squeezed Holden and Jax’s hands tightly. When they entered the kitchen, she found herself facing dozens of people. Some she recognized from King, but most, including the younger ones, she didn’t recognize at all.

  She looked at her mates, wondering who was going to speak first.

  “Hey everyone, this is Honor Parkins, mine and Holden’s mate,” Jax said. “We finally got her home!”

  The pride members cheered and clapped. It made Honor’s eyes sting and her heart swell. Everyone seemed happy, and she didn’t see a glare or a frown anywhere.

  James lifted his hand, and the crowd quieted. “John, Rue, and I met with Honor last night. Her story is a sad one – she’s been fighting against the effects of the curse by herself, trapped with the females who refused to let her leave. Her father is Elijah Parkins, the principal of King High School, and she has a daughter named Hope who lives in King with Eli. As is our custom, any mate of our pride members is automatically a member of the pride, and we gladly welcome Honor to our ranks.”

  “Try not to overwhelm her with questions,” Rue said. “Welcome to the pride.”

  The people cheered again, and when the joyful noise had died down again, Honor said, “Thanks, everyone. It means the world to me that you
’ve opened your home and pride to me. I didn’t expect it.”

  “Mates are family,” Melody said. “Period.”

  Honor’s stomach growled as some of the pride members began to load platters and bowls of food onto the island. Even though she was starving, she wanted to greet everyone personally.

  “Save me a plate,” she said to her mates, and went over to Melody, who was holding a little boy in her arms.

  “Aunt Honor,” Melody said, “these are my mates, Micah and Tristan, and this is our son, Bradley.”

  The little boy stretched out his arms to Honor and she took him, drawing him close and inhaling the sweet scent of mountain lion. “Hi there, little one.” To Melody, she said, “You named him after your father?”

  “Did you know him?” Melody asked.

  “I remember when he left, because the females talked about why he took off with you.”

  “He didn’t know about the curse, but he was certain the females did something to the girls to make them change. He wanted to spare me, and he did.”

  “Where is he?” Honor asked.

  “He died a few years ago. He never got to meet my mates.”

  “I’m so sorry to hear that,” she said.

  Giving little Bradley a kiss on his chubby cheek, she handed him back to Melody and introduced herself to every single person there. At times she would look for Holden and Jax, and found them always watching her, close by but not crowding, giving her time to get to know the pride.

  “I remember you,” Ethan said as he stood with his brother Eryx and their shared mate, Callie, along with their children. “I was a teenager when you left King.”

  The Fallon males were a well-known family in King. James had been the chief of police and one of the brothers was a deputy. It hadn’t surprised her to hear that one of James’s sons was a police officer and one was an EMT in Ashland.

  “We’re glad you’re freed from the curse and here with your mates. And I’m sorry that I frightened you away before. If I hadn’t been so close, Holden and Jax could have explained why you were in pain when you shared blood, and then you wouldn’t have been trapped with the females.”