Holding Honor (Ashland Pride Book 9)

by R. E. Butler

  “You don’t need to apologize,” she said. “I think I would have run anyway. I was overwhelmed with emotions and memories of my childhood, and it was confusing and frightening. Even if I’d been alone in the woods with my mates, I most likely would have left.”

  “We’re glad you’re here,” Callie said. “Where’s your daughter?”

  “Hope lives with my dad.”

  “Are you going to see them?” she asked.

  “We’re leaving Friday.”

  “I’d like to host a girls-only dinner this week so you can get to know us. We can have it at our home. Would you come?”

  “I’d love to.”

  Ethan kissed Callie on the temple. “We’ll bring the kids here to hang out with their uncles and cousins.”

  “I’m a girl,” little Sophie said.

  Callie looked down at her. “What, peanut?”

  “I’m a girl. Can I can come to the party?” Sophie blinked big green eyes up at them, and Honor’s heart melted.

  Callie bent and hugged her daughter. “Of course!”

  A couple came into the kitchen then, with a young girl whose blonde hair was tipped with blue and pink.

  The trio came over to her. Honor recognized the male as Rhett, one of the Fallon brothers. “I remember you,” she said, shaking his hand.

  “Me, too,” he said. “This is my mate, Lisa, and our daughter Treasure.”

  Honor shook Lisa’s hand. When she took Treasure’s hand, an image flashed in her mind of the dragon that had burned Tanya and three of the females who’d come with her.

  Honor jerked back with a gasp, her hand tingling as if she’d been shocked.

  Treasure’s eyes were bright blue. “I remember you,” she said, her voice taking on a strange, ethereal quality. “You were like the others, but not on the inside.”

  Jax and Holden grabbed Honor and pushed her behind them. “Treasure, back off,” Jax said. “She’s not like the other females.”

  Rhett put his hand on Treasure’s shoulder. “She’s no threat to your mate. Stand down.”

  “Whoa,” Lisa said. “Let’s all just calm down.”

  Brian and Kevin, two of the young mountain lion males, rushed between them. The moment they put their hands on Treasure, the light in her eyes faded and she relaxed with a sigh.

  “Sorry,” Treasure said. “That wasn’t my dragon, it was my fairy side.”

  Honor gently pushed Holden and Jax apart and moved between them. “You’re a fairy and a dragon?”

  “Technically I’m called a dragonfae, but yes. My father was a dragon and my mother was fae. Kevin and Brian are my mates, and when my natures get out of control they help me calm down. I wasn’t going to hurt you, though.”

  “I felt a shock,” she said, rubbing the center of her palm.

  “I’m sorry. My dragon recognized you as a mountain lion, and my fae was sensing your aura. I think I just used too much power.”

  “We’re sorry if we overreacted,” Jax said.

  “It’s not your fault,” Treasure said. “My boys would act the same way.”

  Rhett rolled his eyes and cleared his throat. “Anyway, I think we’re all good now?”

  “Yeah,” Honor said. “But what did you mean, that I’m like them but not on the inside?”

  “The females who died in the woods by my fire were evil all the way to the center of their being. Their auras were brown, black, and red, which are indicators of evil intentions and murderous rage. When I saw you in the woods that night, your aura was clean. There was no rage or evil within you, but all your colors were muted.”

  “Muted?” Honor asked.

  Treasure shrugged. “I’m going to guess it was the curse that kept everything muted for you. Now that you’re not cursed, I can see your aura very clearly.” She moved her hand in the air between them, her eyes unfocusing. “Blues, purples, yellows, pinks, oranges…all the colors I’d expect from someone with pure intentions and a heart full of love. You’re no more danger to anyone in this pride than I am, and I’m definitely not a threat to anyone – except those who would harm my people.”

  “She’s still learning about her powers,” Kevin said.

  “And about our realm,” Brian said.

  “Realm?” Honor asked.

  “I’m originally from the fae realm,” Treasure said. “My parents were killed protecting me, and so was my aunt. Jilly and her family saved my life and brought me here. Kevin and Brian are my mates, and Rhett and Lisa adopted me so I could stay here.”

  Honor wished she’d had an opportunity to know her mates when she was younger. The curse had taken so much from her. Although she was starting over now, there wasn’t anything she could do about all she’d lost but to accept it and move on.

  “Thanks for not burning me to a crisp in the woods that night,” Honor said.

  Treasure smiled. “Sure thing.”

  “I think that’s everyone who’s going to join us,” Rue said. “Breakfast is on the table. Let’s eat!”

  Honor sat between her mates at the big table. Every chair was filled by the adults, with several of them sitting on stools at the island. The kids all ate in the family room with the television. When her plate was filled, Honor said, “Thank you all for the warm welcome.”

  “It’s our pleasure,” James said. “It’s a wonderful thing when one of the females is set free.”

  “We wish it would happen for all them,” John said.

  “Maybe someday it will,” Alek, James’s son, said.

  “I hope so,” Honor said. It hurt her heart to think about the females suffering under the curse, their lives void of compassion for anything or anyone.

  Holden squeezed her hand. “I’m so glad you’re here with us. It’s a dream come true.”

  “For me, too,” Jax said. “Too many lonely nights without you.”

  “No more of them,” she promised. “Only happy days and wonderful nights in our future.”

  “I love the way you think,” Holden said.

  Chapter 8

  By Friday, Jax was head over heels for Honor. She was amazing. Not only the sexiest female he’d ever seen, but a sweet and wonderful person, inside and out. She had a wry sense of humor, a musical laugh, and a penchant for poker, which they played every night after dinner with John and Rue.

  Over the week, they’d shared their lives with each other. He’d wanted her from the moment he’d tackled her in the woods that fateful night, and he’d found himself half in love with her by the time they met. Now, he’d completely fallen for her.

  She still struggled with her emotions from time to time, feeling overwhelmed by the past or what she’d missed out on. They’d gone to dinner at Callie, Eryx, and Ethan’s home, and Honor had seemed perfectly fine until their daughter, Sophie, had started crying for Callie from her room and Callie had hurried to her. Jax had smelled the saltwater of Honor’s tears and was moved by her attempt to keep herself from breaking down in front of everyone. He’d hustled her outside to the fresh night air and held her closely, letting her cry until all the tears were gone. She’d told him how hard it was for her to see Callie’s motherly love for Sophie, because her own daughter had never had that.

  “I mean, I wonder,” she said in a rough voice, “if she called for me when she was little. It breaks my heart.”

  “Oh sweetheart,” he said, brushing the tears from her cheeks. “It’s okay to feel sad about the past and what you missed, but you can’t let it hobble your future. You were cursed. It’s unfair as hell. But the curse doesn’t define you anymore. I can see the wonderful female you are at your core. You’d never intentionally harm Hope or any other child. Your emotions still give you trouble from time to time, and that’s okay, too. You were basically stunted by the curse.”

  He laid his hands on her shoulders and looked at her. Her blue eyes were shining like sapphires, her cheeks pink and her eyes red from tears. “You’re my mate and you’re Holden’s mate. Nothing that you dealt with before c
hanges what we are together. There’s only the future ahead of us. Don’t mourn the past. Cherish the time we have now and hope for the future.”

  She gave him a watery smile. “You’re pretty smart.”

  “It’s been known to happen,” he said with a chuckle.

  “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “Being there for me when I need you. You never judge me, you just listen and support me.”

  “It’s my pleasure. You’re allowed to be sad, sweetheart, just don’t let it rule your life.”

  “I promise.”

  He loved to see her thrive in the pride. Although that evening with the Fallons had left her a little emotionally wrought, she’d come out on the other side stronger. Everyone had welcomed her with open arms, so even when he and Holden were at work, she wasn’t alone. She spent time with the other females or worked on cleaning and repair projects around the boarding house.

  It amazed him how easily she’d fit into their lives; he hadn’t really known what to expect once they were together. He’d worried she would be timid or not know how to get along with the large group, but her resilience and care for the pride made him one proud male. Leading the family – ensuring that everyone was happy and safe – had become his priority. Not only Honor, but also his brother, and eventually when they got to King he’d ensure the safety of their extended family as well.

  When he was a kid, he’d always been the leader. It came naturally to him. He’d been the captain of the football team, a manager at the mechanic shop they worked at, and the one who’d handled the family finances after their father passed away. He and Holden were well-matched to be Honor’s mates. It wouldn’t do for her to have two bossy mates who were always fighting over who was the leader. He and Holden had slid into their roles so easily, he felt like they were destined to find Honor and share her. It wouldn’t always be a cakewalk, he was sure, but it was damn sweet to have a family.

  Later that week, after they’d gotten her a cell phone, she’d texted her father, and had been surprised to get a text from her daughter later that day. Hope was curious about her, and although Honor wanted to talk on the phone or video chat with her, the teenager was more interested in texting. That didn’t surprise him, it seemed to be the way kids were these days. Which made him feel a lot older than he actually was.

  “You’re looking very thoughtful,” Honor said as she came into the bedroom.

  He zipped up his bag and smiled at her. “I was just thinking about the last week.”

  “It’s been wonderful,” she said. “I hate to leave, but I’m excited to see my dad and Hope.”

  “Are you all packed, sweetheart?”

  “Yep. You?”

  “Just finished. Let’s grab Holden and get on the road.” He slung his bag over his shoulder and turned toward the door. Her hand on his arm stopped him, and he faced her.

  “Thank you for this.”

  “For what? Taking you to see your dad and meet your daughter? It’s our pleasure.”

  “That, and also taking time off work. You guys just opened your lives to me without hesitation. I feel like I can’t ever repay you.”

  He dropped the bag on the bed and hooked his arm around her waist, drawing her close. Her breath gusted from her lungs at the swift movement, her eyes darkening and a purr stuttering in her chest. He drew his finger down her jaw and followed the line of her bottom lip. “There’s nothing to repay. We’re mates, and whatever is important to you is important to me and Holden. Besides, they’re both our family now. Eli’s our father-in-law, and Hope is our step-daughter.”

  “You never wanted to have kids of your own?”

  “Well, yeah. Holden and I both thought we’d have kids of our own someday, but neither of us wanted to go the traditional route in the pride.”

  She frowned. “Traditional?”

  “Yeah, you know how it used to be; a male would choose a female in the pride and basically contract with her to bear a cub for him. Then she’d disappear and he’d raise the baby on his own.”

  “Just like me,” she said.

  “Hey, I didn’t mean anything–” he said.

  She put her fingertip on his lips to stop him and gave him a sad smile. “You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. It’s exactly what happened between me and Silas. Until the curse was broken, I didn’t have an ounce of maternal feeling. But now, I have all these maternal feelings and a kid who isn’t sure she wants me in her life.”

  He kissed the tip of her finger. “Hope will come around, sweetheart.”

  “How can you be sure?”

  “Because if she’d been fully poisoned like you, she wouldn’t have wanted to even talk to you. She reached out, and that speaks volumes. She just needs to get to know you. When she does, I promise she’s going to love you.”

  Honor’s eyes shimmered with emotion. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Jax. I’m so glad you’re mine.”

  “Me, too.”

  After a few quiet moments of holding each other, they grabbed their things and headed down to the first floor. Holden was there, discussing the trip with Tristan and Wesley, who visited their dads several times a year.

  “Are we all set?” Holden asked, looking up from the GPS app on his tablet.

  “Yep,” Jax said.

  Honor looked into a cooler bag and said, “Oh! You got malted milk balls!”

  Holden grinned. “Of course, they’re your favorite.”

  She giggled. “Awesome. I have the best mates.”

  “Have a safe trip,” Micah said.

  “We will, thanks,” Jax said.

  They left the boarding house and got settled in the truck. Jax was going to drive the first leg, and then Holden would take over.

  “Thank goodness this road trip isn’t as long as the other one,” she said as they turned out of the drive and onto the road.

  “Definitely,” Jax said. “But you’re going to see your family, so the distance wouldn’t matter.”

  She leaned on Jax’s shoulder. “You two are the sweetest guys ever. I’m so lucky.”

  Jax smiled and reached for her hand, feeling the warmth and the connection that flared through him every time he touched her. Having a mate was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to him, and he thanked his lucky stars every day.

  “We’re the lucky ones, sweetheart,” he said. “I just wish our dad was alive to know how things have changed for our people.”

  “Was your mother his mate?”

  “He didn’t believe so. It’s so damn hard to know if any males’ thoughts on the females are accurate, though.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, take wolves, for example. They have truemates who know each other on sight. There’s a connection that’s deeper than physical attraction between the mates. Our people historically have never had that sort of two-sided connection because the females didn’t respond to the males. Even if a male thought a female was his mate, the female never allowed a relationship to form in any sense. Have a child, yes. Live together? Not a chance. It’s difficult to tell if the way males felt about females before were actual mate connections of if it was simply the males wanting a relationship.”

  Honor hummed. “I never thought about it that way. The females weren’t kind to the males if they showed any sort of interest in making a sex-only situation into something deeper.”

  “Ethan told us that before Callie came along, he’d been attempting to get one of the females to have a relationship with him. She said no, of course, but when he and Eryx mated Callie, the female said she’d try a relationship if they’d send Callie packing.”

  “That’s interesting. I can’t imagine that the female actually wanted to be in a relationship. Being that close to someone before the curse was lifted was abhorrent.”

  “They were pretty sure she was playing them and just trying to get Callie out of town,” Holden said.


  “That sounds about right. The cursed females don’t think about sex for pleasure, only for procreation. Or leverage.”

  Jax hadn’t realized that the curse not only dampened the emotions of the females, but also curbed their ability to enjoy sex.

  “Did you ever…” Jax stopped, unsure how to finish the sentence, or if he even should.

  “Have an orgasm?” she asked, arching a delicate brow at him.

  “Yeah. I kind of don’t want to know, but it seems like an awful fate for you to never have felt good being touched.”

  “I never had one before you two. Before the curse, it wasn’t anything I ever thought about. Once we shared blood and I was back in Canada, all I thought about was you two and your hands on me.”

  “It was all we could think about, too,” Jax promised.

  * * *

  After stopping for breakfast outside of King, they drove into town. He and Holden hadn’t been back since they moved to Ashland a few years earlier to be close to Melody. It was almost surreal to be back in King, not just because they hadn’t expected to come back, but also because they had a non-cursed, beautiful female mountain lion with them.

  “Wow,” Honor murmured.

  “What?” Jax asked.

  “I don’t think much has changed since I left, and that was fifteen years ago. It looks like it’s frozen in time.”

  “Well, there’s one major difference,” Holden said. “The females are gone.”

  “Good point,” she said.

  Jax parked in front of a brick-front ranch house with an older model sedan in the driveway. A wreath hung on the front door, and the beds that lined the front of the house were filled with colorful flowers.

  Jax got out of the truck and offered his hand to Honor. When she slid her hand into his, he could feel the tremble in her cold fingers. She got out and stepped close to him, letting out a shaky sigh.

  “It’ll be okay, sweetheart, I promise,” he said. “Your father loves you.”

  “I know.”

  “We’re pretty crazy about you ourselves,” Holden said as he joined them. “We wouldn’t have brought you here if it wasn’t the right thing for you.”