Island Rush

by Marien Dore

He kept the expression glued there as I laughed, blinking a few times before turning slowly towards me. It made me laugh harder. He stared at me with wide eyes; he really hadn’t expected that. Soon, he was laughing just as hard with me as we both got back on our feet.

  We walked over, and he picked up the bananas, all still hitched together in a huge cluster. It made my stomach twist in need as I watched him pull two off, one for each of us. They didn’t look ripe enough, but we didn’t care. We settled under a tree in the shade where the feast of a lifetime began. When I peeled back the rubbery shell as he did the same with his, I knew this was going to be good. And when I sunk my teeth into it… dear god, I can’t express how wonderful it felt and tasted. I loved bananas and being so hungry made it that much better. I made sure it lasted and to not shove the whole thing down my throat like I wanted to.

  “It was foolish to think there wasn’t more food than we originally thought. We need to keep our eyes open.”

  I bit off another delicious piece, forcing myself to take my time to chew and swallow. “Well, we got berries, bananas, coconuts, and fish on this island. What else do you think there is?”

  “A lot could be seafood. Oysters, crabs, and lobsters if we are lucky enough to find them. It would be easier than chasing fish down, that’s for sure. But fish are still essential. Plus I am sure there are more fruits.”

  I nodded in agreement to that. “Any animals outside of the ones who spend the majority of their time swimming?”

  “We haven’t come across any yet, other than the birds we see. We can eat birds if we can catch them. That seems too hard to bother with, though, and they are small. But this place is big. There are probably other animals here.”

  I thought over all those options for food as I finished my banana. How much were we missing? We had no idea where we were so we had no idea of what could be living and growing here. All we could do was continue on since we can’t live off the dew forever. We needed to find the creek and with that, I was positive we would find more food.

  “I won’t be worried about food for a while,” I said, nodding to the bananas. There had to be maybe a little less than a dozen left. “The only pain is we are going to have to carry them.”

  “I can handle that, it won’t be too bad if you can carry the spear.”

  That’s exactly what we did as we continued on. Thankfully, the bananas weren’t budging from the stem so Mr. Rush managed to carry it with just one hand. Having left the leaf cone behind after agreeing we could just make another, our load was not bad. Whether we were carrying stuff or not, though, the late evening heat started beating us down more and making it worse. Even the shade couldn’t provide much relief.

  Walking along, I internally sighed as I stare down at my feet. They were beginning to hurt worse with each step. I glared at the fabric over my feet. The material was dirty and with the heat, it made me uncomfortable. Luckily, the day didn’t last much longer.

  I felt immense amounts of relief at watching the sun lower in the sky. We hadn’t stopped walking for a long while, so when we did for the night, instant dizziness came over me. I allowed myself to fall to my knees when we entered the deep forest for the night. I took a deep breath and relaxed into the soft grass, my skin cooling off from the effect.

  Dropping the bananas, Mr. Rush left me to start gathering sticks and dried up leaves for the fire. Setting them in a pile next to me, he said nothing to me stopping in this fashion. I knew he understood my feet hurt and that it was such a relief to rest. I closed my eyes, taking in another deep breath of the earthy air. With it, though… I took in smoke.

  My eyes flashed open, and I sat up quickly, finding Mr. Rush bent over the start of a fire next to me. He was holding both flint and the stone in his hands. The expression of shock on his face that he actually did it probably matched mine. I didn’t know he could do that, let alone on the first few tries! After he had begun to cradle the fire more to life, he turned to me and smiled. “I think we will be just fine.”

  He didn’t need to explain what he meant. We were finally getting the hang of this lifestyle. It was impressive in my mind, especially for the fact that we have been here for probably only over a week.

  We fell asleep fast that night after getting the fire going strong. The cold was fierce but so was our fire. We stayed fairly warm, but my teeth chattering was still the lullaby that put me to sleep. From there… I dreamed.

  It was the same dream. Consisting of the sight of my mother’s dead body and my father’s confession, it was as vivid as usual. But it didn’t end there as it had before. Mr. Rush wasn’t waking me this time, and my nightmare continued. Only with something much worse…

  My dad was holding me against him in the bathroom, telling me that I couldn’t tell anyone otherwise he would kill me or have others do it. I felt his gun and cried more. However, instead of him continuing and us walking out of the bathroom like what really happened, he stayed there and the memory switched. It faded into something that was more dreamlike and twisted. Because the next thing he did was lean over me and put my back to the bathroom floor. “You want to know what I did to her? Want to know how I did it, baby girl?”

  “You sick bastard,” I hissed and tried fighting his grip.

  “She came to bed that night in that white gown. I had your brother hide in the closet—”

  “No! Stop! I hate you!” I stopped struggling but cried harder. I don’t think I would ever be whole if he told me the details.

  “We both took her out to the backyard. That was where we cut her and watched her as she begged to live. Do you know she called for you? But you never woke up to hear her. If you had, she might still be alive.”

  “You killed her, not me.”

  “We tortured her and buried her in the flowerbed you and her made together. She was still struggling as we covered her with the dirt.”

  That was untrue. I just wish I was conscious enough to realize that that wasn’t the case, and this was a dream. I kept choking on my sobs as an extremely vivid image entered my head. Of my mother, her tears, her blood, and dirt covering her beaten face as she was being buried alive.

  I cleared my head and came back to my father shaking me, except it was harder and desperate. “Janice? Janice!” he yelled in a strange voice.

  I couldn’t say anything. I just kept crying, keeping my eyes closed. When I opened them, it wasn’t my father shaking me any longer. I wasn’t in the bathroom but in the dark, laying in the grass. What remained was Mr. Rush’s pleading voice and my body shaking.

  Mr. Rush was calling my name, and when he saw my eyes open, he stopped yelling at me and shaking me. He saw I was now awake, but that didn’t stop that image of my mom from coming to me. Though I knew it was a dream, I continued shaking with wide and wet eyes.

  “Janice! Oh!” His voice uncovered so much relief as he moved down in an instant, hugging me to him from where he was hovering over me. Tightly wrapping me in his embrace, all I could do was shake and cry. I felt like a baby, but all I could think was just how awful of a picture that was. Not to mention, what if something like that did happen first and I just didn’t know? The end result was the same, and my mother was dead.

  He didn’t ask me if I was okay. All he cared about was that I was, in fact, no way okay, and he was doing all he could for me. My tears hadn’t stopped nor the shaking. I felt so vulnerable. If he gave me a bit, I could have sucked it up. Him hugging me like that… it felt welcoming to let it out. It also melted away my stiff form too.

  I managed to slowly wrap my arms up and around him, holding onto him as tightly as I could. It was as if he was the only thing for my sanity to grasp. He gradually laid over me, and I took his weight happily, feeling protected by it. I buried my head into his shoulder and tried taking deep and even breaths. Resting against him, my mind continued to flash, replaying the memory over in my head until it turned into that lie.

  I didn’t want to see that again, go through that mental mess, or even think about
it. So when I felt myself going back under and to sleep, I subconsciously clung to him tighter. “Don’t let me fall back asleep. Please. No matter what. Please,” I repeated, needing him to do that for me.

  When he nodded silently, I was able to relax a little more. Staying awake as best as I could, I felt him shift up slightly so he could look at me, his face an inch from mine. He looked extremely worried as he carefully brushed away the hair sticking to my face by my tears. I started to settle down at this point and felt ashamed. It was a fucking dream! A very realistic one but still, this was no way to react. He cupped my cheeks with his hands and looked deeply into my eyes, my breath catching.

  “I’m sorry that I woke you,” I breathed. “That was an overreaction, and it wasn’t necessary. It was just a dream.”

  He shook his head from above me, not moving away. “That wasn’t just a dream. I sat there shaking you for a long time. You still wouldn’t wake up. Instead, you were screaming and yelling,” he sighed.

  “Did I say any words?” I asked, nervous.

  “You kept on saying ‘no’ and for someone to stop something. Then you said something like… well something along the lines of ‘you killed her, not me.’” He looked cautious before he said it. He knew this was a touchy subject. He probably thought I was speaking of my brother since he knows that Alex killed someone.

  I groaned at his words. “It was just a dream.” I wasn’t sure of who I was trying to convince, him or me.

  Though we were barely visible to each other in the dark, I could see he continued staring at me. He kept his hands on my cheeks with his thumbs stroking them, wiping away my cold tears. It made me more conscious of myself; I needed to suck it up! Of course, my mind doesn’t like to listen.

  The image of the flight attendant we found on the beach entered my mind. I couldn’t help compare her to the sight of mom in my dream being buried alive. She was torn apart and dirty too. It came with vivid detail this time, not like when I first dragged her up the beach and blocked it out afterward. It was there and wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

  It made me want to cry harder. “Jesus Christ,” I moaned. “Suck it up, suck it up,” I said to myself softly under my breath. My tears stopped but begged to pour out. I wouldn’t allow myself that pleasure, not now and in this spot.

  Mr. Rush must have heard me. He shifted to his side, pulling me tightly into his warm chest. “You don’t need to hold it in. Let it out and I promise you, it will feel better.”

  I was already so close to losing my cool and curling up into a ball, it didn’t take much to convince me. I started sobbing, really sobbing this time. I let it out, and it felt so good to do so.

  Before I must have held some part in because now, all my walls were down. I cried against him, my tears hitting his chest. My head rested against him, taking in the comfort of his sweet breathing and warmth. I noticed he was slightly stiff and surprised I gave in. I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t see this happening either as I clung to him for support.

  That was no ordinary dream. That was a memory twisted around, and it was awful. It was bad enough trying to get over what I actually saw. But to see that image in my head of them burying her… it was bad, no matter if it was real or not.

  My sobs stopped a few minutes later when I felt myself going under again. Mr. Rush shook me awake like I asked him to. I realized now though how childish that request was. I was keeping him, and I awake for no reason when we had another long day of walking tomorrow. I would need sleep eventually. “I see how stupid it is to try staying up when we need to build our energy back up. I think I will be okay.” I flushed with embarrassment at how ridiculous my actions were. “It was only a dream.”

  “Dreams can be very dangerous. They give us a false sense of reality. Dreams can twist our minds with hope and failure. It affects us, mentally and physically. It can stick with you for a while. And that was a wicked dream. I don’t blame you, trust me. I’m just thankful you woke up,” he said softly.

  His words were soothing, and his breath brushed over my hair. I felt more than safe and wasn’t scared anymore of going to sleep. I realized that as long as I stayed with Mr. Rush, I would sleep fine for now.

  I tried to decide whether to give him space for his own needs of sleep or to stay close. I fell asleep in his arms deciding. But before I went under, I could have sworn I felt a hand stroking my hair, relaxing me deeper and pulling me to a peaceful sleep.

  Chapter 15

  I slept in my teacher’s arms last night. It might have been more exciting for me if I hadn’t been crying and covering his chest with my snot. Not having that dream would have helped the most. Thankfully, my breakdown was over. No other disturbing dreams entered my head for the remainder of the night either. It made me want to sigh in relief as I felt myself ease out of sleep and into consciousness. The only thing I wasn’t looking forward to was facing Mr. Rush after last night. Bring on the embarrassment.

  I kept my eyes shut, trying to think of something I could say but coming up blank. I noticed I was no longer in his arms, though, which made my mind spin. Was he already up? Did he get too hot after the sun rose this morning? Did he realize just who he was actually holding?

  I opened my eyes, the sun bright in the sky. It made me groan. Thanks to me, we missed the dew again because we were unable to get up early. I hated myself at times like this. Why did I throw a stupid fit like that? It exhausted both of us.

  I looked around and saw Mr. Rush a few feet away from me, sitting with his legs crossed. His finger was twirling over a strand of grass, his face bent down towards the ground. I could see his expression enough, though, and he looked quite disturbed over something. When he glanced up at me, he didn’t smile. I didn’t blame him with those bags under his eyes.

  I sighed. “Hey, I’m sorry about last night. You didn’t need to hear or deal with that. You obviously lost a ton of sleep too,” I noted, searching his tired expression.

  “No… No, don’t be sorry,” he said, sounding slightly distracted. “You have been through a lot, and it was a healthy reaction. You couldn’t help what was going through your head.”

  I turned and faced him, sitting before him with my legs crossed as well. We were in the shade of the trees, but I was already beginning to sweat. Looking at the man in front of me, Mr. Rush was already drenched in his own stench.

  “I should be stronger than that. Though very realistic, it was still a dream. I let my feelings get out of hand, and it was quite pathetic. I didn’t mean to put you in that position, sir.”

  His eyes flashed. “Don’t call me sir. And sometimes you need to let it all out. I understand.”

  “What are you thinking?” I asked, unable to stop myself from springing the question on him. He was still distracted, and I didn’t know why.

  “Hmm? Nothing. I’m just tired I guess.” Liar. He was hiding something, but it wasn’t my place to ask, especially after shoving his questions for me aside.

  I nodded. “Well, I’m sorry I made us miss the dew.” Seeing just how much his eyes were drooping, I asked, “How long have you been awake?”

  He opened his mouth to answer but closed it after a second. He finally answered me. “Awhile. I wouldn’t worry about the dew,” he said, his eyes looking lighter. He gestured to a few things I hadn’t noticed before in the grass. They were seashells, the kind you see on the backs of crabs. They were all about the size of a softball too. I squinted my eyes on one that caught my eye. The long opening to the shell was facing the sky but that opening to the inside of it… was blocked by something.

  “So you collected some shells?” I glanced at him, not understanding.

  He leaned to his right, picking up one of the shells and handing it to me. It was heavier than I expected. The tips of my fingers swept over the texture of smooth spikes and pearly peaks. The opening of the shell had something gray over it. It was clay.

  This guy was something else. He somehow found clay here and ended up plugging the opening with it. T
hat hadn’t explained the weight of it though since it was only across the opening.

  I raised the shell closer to my face to look thoroughly at it. When I did, a noise came from it. I put it next to my ear as I shook it, hearing the water that was inside splashing around. This was ten times better than my green waffle cone; I had to be careful not to spill that thing. The water wasn’t getting out of this, though, not with that clay blocking its only exit.

  I looked up to Mr. Rush. That distracted and pained face was gone at the sight of my expression to this little surprise. I knew I had to have looked ready to flip out because wow… How awesome was this idea?! This man was a genius, plain and simple! He had been up early enough, not just to get the dew, but to go down to the ocean and collect several shells. Not only that, but he did this in the dark and used them to store the dew!

  He started to laugh at whatever my expression was showing. How had he done this? How did he think of such a fantastic idea? How could he be so amazing?

  My face must have asked all those questions because he jumped in and began to explain with a smile. “I knew we would have had to make another one of those cones to hold water. But when I went to go to the bathroom before the sun came up, I saw the shells on the beach. From there, it just came to me.”

  Of course, he would have to take a piss in the ocean to come up with such a brilliant idea. I wouldn’t mock him for it. “Do you know how awesome this is? I mean goddamn dude! That is so amazing!” I exclaimed. “How did you manage this?”

  He laughed. “I did like you told me to that other morning. I sucked in the water. Except this time, I spit it in a shell instead of a leaf. Then I found some clay from under the sand in the water,” He said it like it was no big deal with a smile. “You are giving me too much credit. You were the one who came up with the whole idea of saving water. Now that was brilliant. All I did was find another way to do it.”