The Motherhood Mix-Up

by Taylor, Jennifer

  ‘Stop it.’

  The order was softly given but it brought her up short. Mia’s eyes refocused and she saw him shake his head. ‘Whatever crazy thoughts you’re harbouring, forget them, Mia. There’s nothing to be frightened of. You and I are going to make love but only if you want to. OK?’

  His bluntness might have embarrassed her before but not now. Not tonight. Mia nodded. ‘All right.’

  ‘Good.’ He squeezed her hand then let her go so he could pour the wine. Mia was a little surprised that he hadn’t kissed her, although she didn’t say anything. Leo knew what he was doing and she would be guided by him.

  The thought set loose another volley of thoughts and she took a gulp of the wine in the hope that it would calm her. She mustn’t spoil things by panicking. It would be such a shame. Leo dropped down onto the sofa and raised his glass aloft.

  ‘A toast. To the boys and us. May we all get what we want.’

  ‘To the boys and us,’ Mia repeated, wondering if it was possible for all of them to get what they wanted. Harry and Noah took priority, of course; she would do whatever was necessary to make sure they were happy. If it meant that she and Leo couldn’t have a proper relationship, she would accept it. It meant that tonight would be even more special. Precious. This one night might be all she had.

  It was a sobering thought but she refused to dwell on it. She drank a little more wine then put her glass on the table. ‘I’ve had enough wine,’ she said quietly.

  ‘Me too.’ Leo put his glass next to hers and stood up. His eyes were very dark as he searched her face. ‘Are you sure this is what you want, Mia?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Mia turned and headed from the room. She made her way upstairs, hearing the soft tread of Leo’s footsteps behind her. The landing floorboards creaked and she paused, half expecting that Harry or Noah would wake up, but there was no sound from their bedroom and she carried on to her room. She had left the bedside lamp on and it cast a soft glow over the room. When Leo followed her inside and closed the door, it felt as though they were the only two people in the world. Whatever happened in this room tonight was between them, no one else.

  ‘Mia.’

  He said her name softly and with great tenderness. Mia turned to him, feeling the last tiny doubt melt away when she saw the expression on his face. That he wanted this as much as she did was clear. She moved towards him, emboldened by the thought. She had never initiated physical contact before, yet it was her arms that reached for him, her hands that drew his head down so she could kiss him. Their mouths met and she sighed as she felt his lips immediately shape themselves to hers. This was even easier than she had hoped it would be.

  They kissed for a long time, a kiss that was filled with so many emotions that she felt dizzy when they broke apart. When Leo had kissed her before, he had kissed her with hunger and with passion, but this kiss had been very different. It was as though he had stripped himself bare, allowed his real self to shine through, and the thought made her feel very humble. He had lowered his defences because he trusted her and now she must trust him too.

  She sank down onto the bed and held out her hand. ‘Make love with me, Leo. It’s what I want more than anything.’

  He didn’t say a word as he took her hand and sat down beside her but she had seen the flare of emotion in his eyes and knew how much it had meant to him to hear her say that. When he bent and kissed her again, she closed her eyes, savouring the feel of his mouth on hers. This was just the beginning and there would be so much more to come, so many new experiences to enjoy and treasure. If they were to have just this one night, it would be a night to remember.

  * * *

  Leo could feel his heart pounding. The taste of Mia’s lips was pure seduction and he was more than willing to be seduced. He gathered her into his arms, groaning when he felt her breasts pressing against his chest. Her nipples were already hard but he didn’t intend to rush her. She’d admitted how inexperienced she was and he couldn’t bear it if he ruined things by going too fast. He had to take his time no matter how difficult it was. Mia needed to be loved gently, slowly, and with the utmost care.

  Tenderness washed over him as he kissed her again, letting his tongue slide between her lips this time. His heart jerked when he felt her respond but he managed to control the desire that surged through him. Lifting his hand, he smoothed her hair away from her face, his fingers tangling in the silky fine threads at her temple. Her hair smelled of lemons, clean and fresh, and he drank in its scent, amazed that such a simple aroma could be so erotic. Forget all the expensive perfumes, he thought. This was far more seductive!

  His hand moved from her hair to her cheek, his fingers exploring the velvet softness of her skin. It felt so warm to the touch, so smooth, that he could have sat there and stroked it all night long, only he knew there were more delights to enjoy. His fingers glided down her cheek and across her jaw then moved to her neck, following the line of her throat until they reached the tiny pulse that was beating so frantically at its base. He could feel it tapping away, feel its rhythm imprinting itself on his flesh and shuddered. If he needed proof that she wanted him then here it was, here where this tiny reflection of her feelings was making itself known.

  Bending, he pressed his mouth to the spot, letting the tip of his tongue rest on the tiny pulse point as though in some way he could absorb the evidence of her desire for him. She gave a soft little moan as she tipped back her head to allow him easier access and he felt his own desire spiral out of control.

  He wanted her so much! Wanted to lie her down on the bed and cover her body with kisses, seek out the source of her heat and kiss her there as well. He had made love to many women over the years but he knew that making love to Mia would be unlike anything he had experienced before. In that respect they were very much alike. All his experience amounted to nothing when it came to loving her.

  The thought was just too much to deal with, way too much to soothe and calm him as he needed to be calmed. He knew he shouldn’t rush her yet his hands seemed to possess a life of their own as they stripped off her clothes. Mia helped him, wriggling out of her jeans, shrugging off her shirt, and he realised that she was as eager as him to take things to the next stage. It stopped him feeling so guilty. Maybe it wasn’t wrong to allow passion to dictate the speed of their lovemaking after all.

  He stood up and stripped off his own clothes, feeling her eyes on him as he stood naked beside the bed. Did she like what she saw? he wondered in a rare fit of self-doubt. He had never worried about his appearance before and it shocked him to discover how vulnerable he was. He cared what she thought, cared far more than he had ever cared about anyone’s opinion.

  ‘You’re beautiful.’

  Her voice was husky, filled with a wonder that swept away his fears. Leo laughed as he lay down on the bed and gathered her to him. ‘I don’t think men can be classed as beautiful, sweetheart.’

  ‘Well, you can.’ She drew back and looked at him and he could see the desire in her eyes smouldering away, and shuddered again. Maybe she lacked experience but by heaven she turned him on! ‘You’re beautiful, Leo, and there’s no other word to describe you.’

  ‘Then thank you.’

  He kissed her hungrily, unable to hold back a second longer, but there again he didn’t need to. Mia was as eager for him as he was for her. Her heart was racing as he let his lips glide down her body, following the full, lush curves of her breasts, the dip of her waist, the gentle swell of her hips. She had never felt more like a woman than she did right then as Leo paid homage to her.

  Everywhere his mouth touched, it seemed that he discovered a fresh delight to explore, a new discovery to savour, like the tiny mole on the top of her hip bone or the dusting of freckles on her arms. She ran her hands down his back, feeling the smoothness of his skin, the hardness of his muscles as they slid beneath her palms.
She had never felt so aroused before, wouldn’t have believed that just the feel of his body could set light to her desire like this. Every inch of him was so perfect that she was overcome with greed. She wanted to stroke and caress him for the rest of her life!

  The thought pushed her to the edge and beyond. ‘Make love to me, Leo,’ she said urgently. ‘Now!’

  There was a moment when he paused, the tiniest hesitation, and then he entered her in one strong, fluid thrust. Mia felt her body resist for a second and then it opened to him, warm and eager as it welcomed him inside. Mia felt the blood start to drum along her veins, felt her passion gather momentum until she was totally consumed by its heat and Leo’s desire for her. Then all of a sudden she was crying out and clinging to him and he was clinging to her as the world dissolved around them. Nothing existed any more. Nothing except her and Leo and the magic they were creating together.

  * * *

  It was after midnight when Mia awoke. She stared at the ceiling, listening to the steady sound of Leo’s breathing as he lay beside her. Reaching out, she ran her hand down his arm, shivering when she felt the silky dark hair slide beneath her palm. Making love with him had been so much more than she had hoped it would be. Not only had he shown her how passion felt, he had proved that she was capable of arousing passion in someone else. His need for her had been every bit as consuming as hers had been for him.

  ‘Are you all right?’

  His voice was soft and deep but she heard the concern it held and felt warmed to her core. That he cared how she felt, cared about her, wasn’t in doubt. Rolling onto her side, she smiled at him, surprised and yet unsurprised by how comfortable she felt. Maybe she should feel awkward or ill at ease but she didn’t. It had felt right to make love to him, just as it felt right to wake up beside him.

  ‘Fine. In fact, I feel better than I’ve felt in ages.’

  ‘Really?’ His brows quirked as he propped himself up on one elbow. ‘And why is that, do you think?’

  ‘Oh, I’m not sure. It could be the nice little nap I’ve had. Or maybe it’s being here at the cottage and having some time to myself for a change.’ She grinned wickedly. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘Hmm, I’m not sure either. Maybe it’s a combination of the two.’ He trailed the tip of his finger across her mouth, smiling smugly when she gasped. ‘It may even have something to do with the fact that we just made love.’

  ‘Th-that’s another theory,’ she murmured because it was hard to form the words when her lips felt as though they were on fire.

  ‘It is, isn’t it? And like all theories it needs testing.’ He bent and kissed her, drawing back before she could respond, and she could see the mischief in his eyes. ‘Although it’s rather late to be carrying out a proper scientific experiment, don’t you think?’

  He kissed her again, his mouth lingering a fraction longer this time before he pulled away. Mia sucked in her breath, determined that she wasn’t going to beg. He either kissed her properly or he didn’t...

  Her resolve lasted no longer than a heartbeat. Leaning forward, she pressed her mouth to his, sighing in pleasure when he immediately took charge, kissing her with a hunger that allowed no room for any more questions. If this was an experiment, she thought in the moment before passion swept her away, it would prove one thing: she now understood exactly how desire felt!

  They made love again and it was so beautiful that she cried afterwards. Leo drew her into his arms and held her, not asking her what was wrong because he knew. Her tears weren’t a sign of unhappiness but of joy. She had found the last bit of herself that had been missing, discovered how it really felt to be a woman. It was a moment she would remember all her life, a moment she would treasure no matter what happened.

  It was a sobering thought because it brought all the old doubts flooding back. Mia sighed as she reached for a tissue and wiped her eyes. There was no point pretending when Leo knew how volatile the situation was.

  ‘Tonight has been everything I dreamt it would be, Leo, but I’m terrified in case it causes complications.’

  ‘Me too.’ He sat up, packing a pillow behind his back. Drawing her into his arms, he cradled her against his bare chest. ‘Tonight was wonderful for me as well, Mia. There’s no point lying—I’ve had a lot more experience than you, but tonight was special. I only wish we could make this a permanent arrangement, but at the moment it would be wrong.’

  ‘It would,’ she agreed, her heart aching with a mixture of pleasure and pain. The fact that it had meant so much to him thrilled her; however, what he’d said merely confirmed her own view. They couldn’t get involved because of the harm it might cause to the boys.

  ‘So I suppose what we’re really saying is that this has to be a one-off.’ He tilted her face and looked into her eyes. ‘It’s not what I want and I don’t think it’s what you want either but our feelings have to come second to Harry’s and Noah’s. They’d find it too confusing if we started seeing one another and then they found out we aren’t their real parents.’

  ‘They would. It’ll be difficult enough for them to understand the situation without that as well.’ She bit her lip, determined that she wasn’t going to cry. She didn’t want to put any pressure on him, didn’t want to try to change his mind. They knew what had to be done and they must do it.

  Leo didn’t try to stop her as she got out of bed. Taking her robe off the chair, she slipped it on and made her way to the bathroom. She switched on the light then stood and stared at her reflection in the mirror over the basin. Although it was the same face she saw every day, she looked different. Making love with Leo had left its mark; she looked more aware, more alive even. However, it was the changes she couldn’t see that she would have to live with.

  Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to recall the passion that had swept her away, the hunger that had filled her, the feeling of peace and completion that had enveloped her afterwards. She had discovered who she was at last, found the last link that had been missing, and she was a different person because of it. Because of Leo. Because she loved him.

  Mia opened her eyes and stared at the face that was staring back at her. She could see the truth in her eyes, see it so clearly that there was no point pretending any more. She was in love with Leo.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  THE RAIN HAD stopped the following morning so Mia sent the boys outside to play. Going over to the stove, she turned on the gas so she could make a start on breakfast. Although she wasn’t hungry, it would help to take her mind off the events of the night. She sighed as she cracked eggs into a bowl. It was doubtful if scrambling eggs would alleviate this sadness she felt.

  ‘Good morning.’

  She hadn’t heard Leo coming in and jumped so that some of the egg mixture slopped over the side of the bowl. He frowned as he picked up a dishcloth and mopped up the mess.

  ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.’

  ‘It wasn’t your fault. I didn’t hear you,’ she countered politely, picking up a fork and beating the eggs to within an inch of their life. Reaching over, he took the fork off her and tossed it into the sink.

  ‘Don’t, Mia. I couldn’t bear it if we started pussyfooting around one another. The situation is difficult enough without that.’

  ‘You’re right, it is.’

  She turned to him, seeing the shadows under his eyes, proof that he too had had a sleepless night. It was a small sop to her feelings to know that he was suffering as well. By the time she had got back from the bathroom, Leo had gone. Maybe he had wanted to make it easier for her, but she wished he had stayed. Although she doubted if they would have made love again, at least he could have held her in his arms, made her feel less lonely, less lost. Now she dredged up a smile, knowing she was being unreasonable. Leo had done what he had to do and she should be grateful.

  ‘Scrambled eggs all ri
ght? We’ve run out of bacon, I’m afraid.’

  ‘Nothing for me, thanks. I’m not hungry.’

  He poured himself a cup of coffee and took it over to the window. Mia looked at the bowl then tipped the eggs down the sink. There was no point cooking them when she wasn’t hungry either. She filled a mug with coffee and sat down, wondering what to do. Would it be better if she and Harry left or would Leo think she was abandoning him and Noah? After all, this break had been arranged for Noah’s sake, so surely she should stay.

  ‘What do you want me to do?’ she said, deciding it was simpler to ask him. ‘If you want me and Harry to leave then say so.’

  ‘Do you want to leave?’

  He swung round and her heart ached when she saw the misery in his eyes. It was all she could do to sit there and not go to him but it would wrong to start something they both knew could only end in more confusion for the boys.

  ‘I’m not sure. That’s the honest answer.’ She shrugged. ‘I love it here and it’s obvious that Harry loves being here too, but...’

  ‘But it will be a strain,’ he finished for her.

  ‘Yes.’ She sighed. ‘It might be better if we left, Leo.’

  ‘Maybe.’ He drank some coffee then put the cup on the window sill. ‘It’s up to you, Mia. You must do whatever you think is best.’

  He opened the back door but there was no way she was letting him toss the ball into her court. She stood up and glared at him.

  ‘It isn’t up to me, though. This is something we both need to decide, the same as we need to decide how we intend to handle things from here on. Harry and Noah need to see one another when we get home...we need to see them! Which means that whether we like the idea or not, we’re going to have to see each other.’