Stronger Than Bonds

by Devon Michaels

  “Who isn’t?” he asked me, and then suddenly I saw a different side of him, something softer and more compassionate. “I started... I started telling him about my girlfriends, I started telling him about school. I told him everything, but I was still bitter.”

  “Did he ever tell you anything about your mom?”

  “Nope, nothing. We haven’t talked once about her since she died. I resented him for this, I still do, maybe that’s why I kicked him out.”

  I put a hand over my chest and breathed in the cold office air. This conversation was weighing on me, and all I could think about was how silly it was of me to have considered Frederick a father.

  “I know what you’re thinking, you probably hate him right now,” he told me. “But you shouldn’t. Right after my mom died my father became a great person, he changed a lot. He worked hard to get me into a good business school, he took walks with me, he soothed me when I was inconsolable.”

  “Then why did you kick him out?” I insisted.

  “Because a part of me still hates him and will never get over the fact that he gave my mother a black eye on her own birthday.”

  I clenched my teeth and looked away. The truth was that I didn’t want to hear it, I didn’t want to hear any of it. I didn’t want anyone tarnishing Frederick’s image, but the more I talked to Ryan the more I became convinced that he wasn’t the bad guy, after all. “I’m sorry that you went through this.”

  “You know what I hate the most?” he told me. “The fact that my mother didn’t live to see that side of him. She didn’t get to the see the man he turned into, the one that worked his ass off to get me into college, the one that listened. She only saw the ugly side of him, she must hate him so much right now.”

  “I’m sure she doesn’t,” I said. “I know this sounds ridiculous, but a part of me believes that she’s still out there somewhere, watching over you. She knows what’s up.”

  Ryan giggled. “Well, I don’t know if I believe that,” he said. “But I’d like to think that she knows he’s changed. I just wish I could warm up to him again, I really do, but it’s hard.”

  “I know. It’s hard warming up to a person who’s caused you so much pain,” I told him, feeling my voice quiver.

  “You know I was boxing the other day, and I couldn’t help but imagine the punching bag to be my father. It’s the only way I can get a good workout.”

  “You box?” I asked him.

  “I do, in fact, dad was the one who motivated me to go.”

  “I didn’t know Frederick boxed.”

  “He doesn’t, he just pissed me off so much that I needed to go take it out on something. The other day I imagined my opponent to be him, and guess what? I kicked his ass.”

  I laughed again. “At least it’s motivating you,” I said. I tried to appear calm but my mind was racing. At one point I just zoned out, and even though I could see Ryan, I could barely hear him speak. He smiled at me a bunch of times, and I smiled back, but my mind had traveled elsewhere. “You know,” I interrupted him. “The only reason why I relied on your dad so much is that… it’s because I lost both of my parents in a car accident when I was young.”

  “Oh,” he said, a confused look on his face. “So it wasn’t just your dad?”

  “No,” I replied, and then all of a sudden I felt a lump rise in my throat. I told myself that, no matter what happened, I wouldn’t cry in front of Ryan, so I didn’t. I held my own and decided to open up an old wound, and scared as I was, it liberated me. “I was over at a friend’s house when I got the news. My friend’s parents, they drove me to the hospital, and-” I held my face in my hands, and then I felt Ryan’s fingers come over me. “I can’t do this,” I said finally. “I thought I could talk about it, but I can’t.”

  “It’s okay, you don’t have to talk about it. Who said you had to talk about it?”

  I could hear the panic in his voice, and I had to admit, it was kind of cute. I raised my head again and smiled at him, but then we fell silent again. “But anyway,” I started, flipping my hair to the side. “That’s why I thought I could trust Frederick. That’s why I held onto the idea of having a father for so long.”

  “Hey, you can still trust him, you know that, right?”

  “I know, and it’s not like you ruined his reputation or anything. If anything this was a wakeup call; I don’t want to be so hung up on the idea of having him in my life.” I slouched back in my chair and took another deep breath. This conversation had drained the life out of me, and all I wanted to do right now was go home and sleep. “You and I still have a lot to talk about,” I said. “So we need to stay focused.”

  “Would you like to end the therapy session for now?” he asked me.

  “Just for now,” I replied. “I’ll be sure to dump my baggage on you some other day.”

  “Hey, you’re welcome to do that, you do realize that, right?” His eyes were wide and blue, and softer than I’d ever seen them. I believed him, I really did, I just didn’t want to burden him with my problems. I had a lot of baggage, and only recently I was starting to feel human again. I didn’t want to talk about my problems because I had already liberated myself, and I didn’t need anyone to liberate me.

  “We’ll see about that,” I said finally. “But for now, let’s talk business.”

  “One more thing.” He extended his hand and flashed me a smirk. “Can we call it a truce?”

  I chuckled. “I thought we already did that when we confessed to our deepest darkest secrets.” I took his hand and shook it, and then I averted my gaze to the window and stared up at the sky.

  Ten - Ryan

  If it was one thing my father taught me, it was to never judge people. I sure as hell judged Sarah before I properly got to know her, but now was different. I couldn’t stop thinking about how smart she was. We must’ve talked for hours last night, and even though I had ideas of my own, hers were way better. I noticed the way her eyes glittered when she talked about her software, how proud she was of it, and that was when I knew she was the real deal.

  At one point we ordered food and just sat there, munching on fries and discussing the future of our company. I had dreaded talking about this for so long, but Sarah just made it easy. In fact, I was finding it easier to talk to her than my sister, and that troubled me. It troubled me because I trusted her now, and I was never one to trust people so quickly. I remember observing her as she talked, and nodding like I was her student and she was my mentor. We stayed up until one AM, and we watched the city lights dim and flicker, and the dusk set in. I was so comfortable around her that I had my feet up on the desk most of the time, and she was seated on the floor typing away at her laptop. I had never quite had a meeting like this.

  That and… she really wasn’t bad on the eyes. She had long blonde hair that fell to her waist and moved along her shoulders as she talked. She had piercing blue eyes and a freckled face, and big, full lips that seemed luscious at the touch. I listened and listened to her talk, and never got bored of her once.

  I put my feet up on the coffee table and told myself to relax, because boy, was I stressing over this whole thing. My body quivered at the mention of Callaway Tech or anything that had to do with business, but I knew I had to confront it somehow. Sarah and I had agreed on a few things, and even though the plan seemed full proof enough, I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if things went horribly wrong. I would lose all my fortune, my dad would lose all his fortune. An apocalypse would happen and it would all be my fault.

  I got up to make myself some breakfast. Whereas I normally appreciated time on my own, today, I felt a little lonely. The apartment was cold and humid, and my toes curled against freezing marble. I had told Sam, my cook, to take a day off because I wanted to cook for myself, and so I went out and bought all the ingredients I could get my hands on. Little did I know that, when I threw them all into a pan together, they would end up tasting like shit.

  I never learned how to take care of myself. Ev
en in college, I was one of those guys that lived out of a microwave… nuking mac n cheese with my boy Willy was a daily routine. Although now, I knew it was time to move on. It was time to move on from a lot of things. I thought a lot about the stuff that Sarah told me, when she accused me, more than once, of being a spoiled brat. She was right. As much as it hurt my pride to admit it, I was a spoiled rich kid that knew nothing about life.

  As I got ready to chop my salad, I heard my phone vibrate in my pocket. I ignored it. The tomato slipped from under my fingers; I held it steadily and started chopping again. When my phone started ringing for the third time, I decided to pick up. Samantha’s name flashed across my screen, and at that moment I felt my stomach churn with excitement.

  “Hello?” I said, my voice lower than usual.

  “Hi? Why haven’t you been picking up my calls?” she asked me, visibly frustrated.

  “Sorry, I was making breakfast,” I replied.

  “You? Making breakfast? What happened to Sam?”

  “Told him to take a day off.” There was silence.

  “I’ve missed you.” Samantha’s voice was raspy and low, and far from believable. I could just picture her now, lighting one cigarette after the other, brushing her fingers through her hair as she prepared to destroy me. Samantha was the ultimate femme fatale, but I wasn’t afraid of her.

  “I’ve missed you, too,” I said.

  “Are we still on for tonight?”

  “What’s happening tonight?” I asked her. She shut up again, only this time, I could hear the sound of her breathing.

  “Meeting at your place, remember?”

  “Oh, no. I can’t do tonight,” I muttered.

  “I don’t get it,” she said. “The Ryan I know never cancels business meetings unless there’s some kind of an emergency.”

  “Well, there is,” I said, rather ominously. I could almost see the dread on Samantha’s face. “I met with the board last night and… they want to call it off.”

  She paused. “Call what off?”

  “The project, they want to call it off, they want to pull the plug on everything.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” she uttered. I knew there was an ugly side to Samantha, I was just too scared to see it. A part of me felt like an idiot for believing her, but then again, I was a sucker for women like her. Sexy deceitful women, just my type.

  “I’m not,” I said finally. “The meeting lasted six hours… I did the best that I could, but the board made their decision.”

  “I don’t get it, I really don’t.” I could just see her shaking her head frantically. I smiled at the thought. “Did they mention a reason?”

  “Well, they decided to pull the plug on this project in light of a new one for the military,” I replied. I waited for a moment or two, but all I could hear was the sound of Samantha’s breathing. Then I heard a click, the click of her lighter.

  “Well, well, well,” she said, her voice rising above the silence. “I really don’t know what to say to you.”

  “I don’t know what to tell you, either,” I said through clenched teeth. “I had high hopes for this project… unless.”

  “Unless what?” Her voice suddenly changed. She had a glittery quality to her eyes, one that I once loved but had come to despise.

  “Unless you want to jump on this with me.”

  “Will you give me details?”

  “Later. I just need you to think about it for now.”

  “I’m in.”

  “You sure?”

  “I’m very interested, you know why? Because goddamnit, Ryan Callaway, you’re a genius and even if you told me to jump off a cliff, I would still trust you.”

  “Oh, are you sure about that?” I asked her with my head tilted to the side. I was really enjoying this.

  “Absolutely certain,” she said.

  “Alright, we’ll discuss the details later, but for now, I think about it a bit more.

  She paused for a moment, considering. I marveled at the mere idea of deceiving her, just because she had deceived me, or at least she tried to. At the end of the day, I was still Ryan Callaway and I was still was one of the most self-righteous people I'd ever met. Everyone needed to deal with that, even though ever since I had that conversation with Sarah, I vowed to become a better person. It took a lot of work, I had to admit, but it was work I was willing to put in... not for anyone, but for myself and for my own happiness. I couldn't wait to give Samantha a taste of her own medicine and I couldn't wait to see the look in her eyes when she found out what we had in store for her. Sarah and I made a great team, I had to admit, but I was yet to find out the outcome of this.

  After hanging up with Samantha I went back into the kitchen, turned the radio on and started dancing in front of the stove. I hadn't felt this good in a while. At the back of my mind, I knew this was about control. I didn’t think of myself as a control freak unless it came down to my life. Today I felt more in control than ever, and it was a feeling I had missed. A while later I picked up my phone again and searched for Sarah's number. I contemplated calling her, my thumb hovering over her name before I finally decided to press it. I thought I’d deliver the good news, but also a part of me just wanted to hear her voice. The phone rang once, twice, three times, and then she finally picked up.

  “Hello,” she said.

  “Hey, you sound different over the phone,” I started, but then I felt flustered like a little kid who didn’t know how to talk to his crush.

  She laughed a bit awkwardly. “Got any news for me?”

  “I do, actually,” I said, ready for the conversation to take flight. “I just got off the phone with Samantha.

  “Oh, really?” she asked me. “And how did that go?”

  “Fairly well, actually,” I said. “Everything is going according to plan.”

  “You have no idea how happy that makes me,” she said. “You know you're actually much smarter than I thought you were.”

  “You know what I found out?” I asked her, rather furiously. “You're one hell of a feisty woman.”

  “Oh, I already know that,” she said, smirking or at least I could see her smirk in my mind's eye. “Anyway, we'll talk about it more when I see you tomorrow. I get a bit paranoid talking on the phone.”

  “You know me, too,” I lied, but it was obvious that I was just trying to make conversation. Some people are easy to talk to, but as much as I hated to admit it, I was actually kind of intimidated by Sarah. To me, it just sounded like she was trying to cut the conversation short, and so we said our goodbyes and I hung up, but I still couldn't stop thinking about her. I made my salad, collapsed on the couch and turned on the TV. I had a lot on my plate, both literally and figuratively, but for the first time in a long time, I felt carefree. It didn't make much sense, but I felt it to the bone and I enjoyed it with every fiber of my being because of the end of the day I would have given anything to feel this free.

  Eleven - Sarah

  When I was in college I was never really the type of girl to throw a house party. I would always get paranoid about people breaking the furniture or spilling stuff all over my couch, but then I grew up to throw a different kind of party. One that entailed lots of coffee, lots of cigarettes, people passing out and by the very end of it... lots and lots of alcohol.

  “Miles, it isn't time to drink yet,” I said, shaking my head from side to side like a mother. Miles retracted from the bar and made his way to the couch where he collapsed and let out a long frustrated sigh.

  “Why can't we drink?” he asked. “You know full well that I'm a whiz when I’m drunk. You know I've come up with the best ideas drunk.”

  I raised an eyebrow at him and folded both arms across my chest. “This isn't the time to make jokes, Miles,” I said. “If we don't get this right the whole future of this company is at stake. We need to be sober for this, or at least I do.”

  There was at least a team of thirty people in my sitting room, all on their laptops, cooking up co
des. The truth was that I had a brilliant team of pizza-consuming whiz heads and I was only one of them.

  “Well if you're not going to drink then we might as well eat,” Amy said, shrugging.

  “Let's do it,” I said. “We can order takeout, but meanwhile we need to get our head in the game.”

  “So what happened to our project?” Amy asked, her lips slightly parted.

  “Well we decided to flush it down the toilet in favor of something else,” I said. “And that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you guys about.”

  “After all that we've done?” Miles protested, throwing his hands into the air. I found it humorous, verging on comical, but I couldn't laugh at him because that would give me away.

  “It's for the best, it really is. The military wants us to develop a software for them, do you realize how big this is?”

  “I just can't help but feel sorry for all the work we put in,” Miles said.

  “Hey, it won’t go to waste,” I said. “Nothing we do ever go to waste. We’re just going to put it on hold for now and then we're going to come back to it later.”

  “Do you realize how many projects we’ve “put off for now”, and have now been left on the shelf for years?” he asked me, almost challengingly.

  “I know, but this won't be one of them,” I said, feigning confidence. “Listen, I need you to trust me on this one. I know it's frustrating because we put in a lot of work and we don't want to see it go to waste... but this project could potentially save the future of our company. So we might as well hold onto it as tight as we can. Besides, it’s all Ryan's instructions.

  “I thought you hated that guy!” a voice came from across the room. I looked over and it was Sadie. There was a momentary silence before everyone started laughing.

  “Come on, we don’t out our fellow employees like that!” I said, blushing.

  The room quietened again, but I could still hear chatter. Deep down, I sort of liked the fact that Ryan was notorious. The fact that he was actually nice was my little secret to keep, but in the meantime, I had to pretend. “Come on, you guys let’s focus,” I said, scanning the room with my eyes. Sadie and Natasha were exchanging whispers and adjusting their glasses over their noses. In Callaway Tech, news spread like wildfire; who knew what those women were gossiping about now? “Anyway,” I started once again, but I was quickly interrupted by the sound of footsteps.