The Crown Is Mine

by Berlinda Wall

  "If you enjoyed working at the non-profit so much, why did you leave?" I asked.

  "It takes a lot of time and commitment to work at one for a long time plus you usually don't make much money. I don't think most people realize how much need is out there, and I just hit my burnout point," she finished.

  "Desiree, you've got nine months to raise the money. I will check with Georgia A & M to see what we can do to get into their charity program," Paul said.

  "And I'll check with several of the restaurants we patronize to see what they can donate," Albert said. "I know sometimes they will donate 10% of a day's receipts to a charity."

  "And I'll check with the bars to see if they can donate any bar tabs," Marjorie said, "I'll even put “The Package” to work to see what he can come up with."

  "This is a great start," I said. "I finally have some hope. Everyone put your hands in the middle." Everyone got up and put their hands over my outstretched hand. "On three, say, ‘Go team Desiree!’ One, two, three.” And everyone yelled, "Go Team Desiree!"

  CHAPTER 22

  Marni gave me the permit, and I was ready to work the street. His only advice was, "Don't get hit," which made me feel even more uncomfortable.

  The permit gave me permission to work the corner of Monroe and Piedmont from 10:00 A.M. to 2:00 P.M on Saturday. I had never worked a corner for money, and I really wasn't good at begging, so this was going to be a challenge. I felt like I was a hooker going out to turn a trick or two if I should be so lucky. My love life was non-existent since all I seemed to be doing was putting on a dress lately. It was nice to be in boys’ clothing for once instead of having to worry about the dress, make up, and heels.

  It was a beautiful spring day with everything in bloom before the clouds of pollen started coating everything in their layer of yellow green dust. I was supplied with a pink safety vest that made me stick out like a sore thumb, and it was hard to match clothes with the neon pink. So I went with a white t-shirt, blue shorts, and flip-flops.

  I got a bucket and made up a little sign to hold up as the cars came by. It was a very busy intersection with a gas station, restaurant, small island park, and a protein shake shop. There were tons of cars and plenty of people walking their dogs because the new entrance to Piedmont Park was just down the block. And I can't forget the joggers. It was like a man smorgasbord with all these sweaty hot men running shirtless in their extremely short shorts. Even though it wasn't hot or humid out, I was getting a little bit warm under the collar and I could feel the heat rising in me. Before I chugged one of the bottles of iced water from my small cooler, I held it up to my forehead to try to cool off. I had to be here for four hours so I couldn't turn into a glistening mess just yet.

  Even though I felt a little out of place, I had a new determination to put myself out there and make some money. I always had a hard time putting myself out there, and my mama kept telling me, "Let your light shine." This was some advice I needed to follow to see where it leads me.

  So I stood on the northeast corner in front of the small park right at 10 that morning and held up my sign and bucket. As the light turned red, the line of cars in front of me didn't seem to notice me or didn't seem to care. I waved and held up the bucket and sign, but people kept staring back at me like I had two heads or looked away. I even tried walking between some of the cars and holding the bucket up to the window. With the way the people drive in Atlanta, I really needed to heed Marni's advice of not getting hit. I saw more people texting and talking on their phones as I dodged more than one car whose driver wasn't paying attention. I noticed on the license plates that a lot of these careless drivers were from Cobb and Gwinnett counties, which explains a lot since those are the suburbs and these drivers are always lost once they come inside the perimeter.

  Finally, one of the drivers gave me a dollar and said, "My heart is full." I said, "Thank you," but I had no idea what that meant. I made a mental note to ask Marjorie. At least that driver seemed to care, and I did have a couple of other drivers ask me what I was raising money for, and they donated once they found out it was for homeless youth. It restored my faith in human kind, even though I wasn't making much money.

  A couple of hours and several water bottles later, Mother Nature was calling and I really needed to pee. Thank God this intersection had a plethora of choices, so I weighed my options, since peeing in the little park would have gotten me arrested. I ruled out the gas station because it was only an exterior rest room on the station and those usually smell like an open sewer flowing through India and they are a toxic breeding ground for mold and all sorts of other crap. And when I mean crap. I mean crap. The protein shop was nice and clean, but they had a sign up that said no public restrooms, and I wasn't in the mood for a shake. That left me with the little restaurant from which the smell of fresh grilled burgers started causing my tummy to rumble. I didn't realize I was this hungry because I was trying to focus on raising money.

  So I strolled across Monroe Drive, stepped into Bonk, and sashayed my way to the bar so that I could place my order.

  "What can I get you, jumpy?" the bartender asked.

  I didn't realize I was doing my potty dance, so I quickly ordered a burger, fries and a coke to go.

  "We'll have it out to you shortly," she said.

  I sprinted to the restroom without a second to lose. After peeing for what seemed like an eternity, I went to the sink to wash my hands. When I looked in the mirror, I was horrified. I didn't realize that in several of my front teeth were poppy seeds from the bagel that I had eaten earlier before taking to the street. No wonder people kept looking at me funny. They must have thought I had gingivitis or that my teeth were rotting. Heaven help me. I grabbed a paper towel and started scrubbing my teeth to get rid of the seeds, followed by a very strong swishing of water in my mouth, followed by a big spit into the sink. I watched as several seeds went down the drain. I smiled and saw that my teeth were now debris-free so I could return to my post.

  Back at the bar, the waitress asked, "What are you raising money for? I can see you here through the front door."

  "Atlanta Street Rescue which is a program to help homeless youth."

  "That's a great cause, and thanks for doing it. Here's your order. It's on me." And she gave me the boxed-up meal in a to-go box and a large to-go soda.

  I reached into my wallet and pulled out three dollars as a tip. After working in the lodge, you wanted to make sure that the staff was taking care of. "Thanks. And my name is Tyler."

  "You’re welcome, Tyler, and if you ever need anything else, please stop on by. My name is Stephanie, and I'm the manager here."

  "I sure will."

  As I headed back to my post, I could quickly see that I had been replaced by a homeless person working the same corner. With Atlanta being a warm weather city, we did have a large homeless population and you could see them on several street corners at any time of the day. He looked like he had been through a lot, so I decided to work the corner in front of the gas station and crossed Piedmont. I started getting set up on the new corner, and as I did, I noticed the homeless man started crossing Piedmont and heading to the other corner across from me. He didn't stop there, and he started crossing Monroe and headed straight for me. I didn't know what to expect since I had never done this before.

  He stopped right in front of me and looked at me with his old soul eyes. "Sir, I'm sorry to tell you, but this is my corner to work," he said. "I'm here every Saturday afternoon as long as the police don’t chase me away."

  "I've got a permit from the city to work this corner this weekend," I said. "And it goes until 2 P.M."

  "Sir, I'm sure you do, but I'm not going to lie to you. I'm here to get money so that I can eat. I'm not using this money to buy cigarettes or alcohol. I live under the overpass just up the block where the Beltline is going to be built. These pants and shoes were given to me by a Good Samaritan who saw that my old clothes were just worn out. God bless her. I'm just asking you to let me ha
ve my time so that I can eat," he finished.

  Damn my Catholic guilt started racing through my head. How could I deny this person an opportunity to eat? "Sir what is your name?"

  "My name is Temple, sir," he said.

  "My name is Tyler. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

  I reached down and grabbed my to-go box from Bonk. "Temple, please have this compliments of Bonk." I stretched out my arm to pass him the box. He looked at me in disbelief. "Take it, please. I hate to see someone go hungry."

  "Thank you very much, sir. You don't know what this means to me."

  I reached into my bucket and pulled out every bill and all the change that I had collected for the day. "I was collecting this for a homeless charity, but I can actually see who the money benefits this way. It's not much, but it's all yours."

  He looked down and started to cry.

  CHAPTER 23

  The shows at the club started, and first up was Ana Mia Drunkorexia. She had been performing in Atlanta for over ten years and had quite a following, but to me, most of them looked like sickly twinks. They all brought Easter lilies to give to Ana, but it seemed to me to be a little foreboding since every funeral I had ever gone to had lilies on the casket. It smelled like a floral show in the club.

  It was a full house, and I was able to grab a cocktail and a seat in the back. Ana mingled in the crowd. She really looked in good spirits walking from one table to the next hugging and kissing her Mia Army fans. I think I even saw a smile on her face as she slipped behind the curtain for her costume change. Her little dog was nowhere to be seen tonight.

  The overture came up and the lights dimmed. It was show time.

  The unfamiliar music started and the curtain opened with Ana Mia in all her country glory best surrounded by a bevy of big countrified girls dressed like hookers. I finally leaned to the person standing over my shoulder and asked, "What is this song?"

  "Honey, they are going to have to take your gay card. It's Dolly Parton from Best Little Whorehouse in Texas," was his response.

  This was the first time I had seen this large of a group, which made me wonder if I should do a big group for my first show.

  Ana was actually an excellent performer. She knew her words and music and really sold them to the audience, who were all clapping and singing along with her and the group. It did strike me as odd that she was so pencil-thin while everyone else in her group had to be at least a size 18 or larger. I'm just glad the stage could support all that weight.

  When the number finished, Ana took to the mic. "I want to thank the Mia Army for coming out tonight and helping us raise money for Camp Hypoglycemic, a charity that is near and dear to my heart. When I was a little child, I was sent to the camp because I weighed over two hundred pounds and my parents were afraid I would become diabetic. With the camp’s help, I am standing in front of you as a model of health!"

  The crowd erupted into a thunderous round of applause as Ana raised her thin arms up in a victory stance. I was again surprised that she could raise her non-muscular arms up that high, especially with a mic in one of them, but she did it.

  With that, she introduced her next entertainer and slipped off stage. What followed was a constant flow of her larger-than-life entertainers, all performing a variety of dance and pop numbers. The money flowed into the buckets on stage. Every now and then, one of the club employees would come up and empty the buckets into large envelopes and then seal them to count later. The total money raised by each contestant would only be announced on the crowing evening, so it was hard to tell how everyone was doing from these shows at the club.

  It was a very pleasant evening until Miranda Lambadingdong showed up a couple of numbers before the end of the show. She had a couple of her spies sitting at the front-row table who graciously gave up their seats so that Miranda could be front and center for Ana Mia's final number. Miranda sat quietly in her "I Beat Anorexia" t-shirt and clapped politely when the final guest entertainer was finished performing. Then all hell broke loose.

  Miranda pulled out a red flashing police light and placed it on her table and stood up and yelled, "It’s a big girl sandwich emergency!" She then turned on the siren, which was the signal for one of her accomplices to come running to the front of the stage carrying a tray over his head with two extremely large and greasy double-stacked cheeseburgers and what looked like a pound of fries. The smell of grease filled the room immediately, and I thought Miranda was going to be attacked by the Mia Army, who all started salivating at the smell. Miranda grabbed the tray and sat her fat ass down and started devouring the burgers while moaning very loudly like she was in heat. She then took one of the bystanders’ arms and wiped her mouth on their sleeve, leaving a big stain of ketchup and mustard. Thank God Miranda turned off the siren before the music started for Ana Mia's closing number.

  Ana Mia came on stage looking like a Grecian goddess in a flowing silver char moose-draped dress wearing silver armbands with a wig styled like it came off of one of those Grecian urns you would see at a museum or on TV. Her music started and there was no turning back now. She chose to ignore Miranda, who kept waving the fries and a burger in her face as she performed.

  It didn't matter what side of the stage Ana Mia would go to because Miranda started shouting, "What'll you have," which was the greeting at The Varsity, one of the best burger joints in the city.

  Finally, some of the Mia Army stepped it up and ran interference as they tipped their Grecian goddess forming a wall between them both. Several of the army started bumping into Miranda and it was like a wall of tissue paper trying to fight off a bull in a china shop. The army mustered up enough courage and shoved Miranda back into her chair, which tipped back, causing her to kick the food tray, sending burger bits and fries into the air. Once she regained her balance, Miranda came back up, swinging landing a punch to face of the army leader, who stood between her and Ana. From there, the army pounced on Miranda, pulling at her cowboy hat and cowgirl fringed jacket until they all collapsed onto the stage where they were joined by Miranda's accomplice, who started landing punches of his own.

  In a moment of clarity, Miranda was able to clear the fray and find an open spot to stand in. This was very short lived, as Ana Mia yelled, "I'm coming for you bitch!" With that, she flung her body, doing a graceful Hamel camel into Miranda, sending them both into the crowd on the floor and spilling the buckets of money. I swear I saw hairpins and sequins flying all over the place.

  It was at this point that the bar staff, led by Marni, stepped in and broke up the ruckus. "What the hell is wrong with you two?" Marni asked.

  "She started it," Ana Mia said.

  "You started it the minute you did Dolly. Dolly is in my wheelhouse, and I told you girls to stay away from the country music. Luckily I have friends who texted me from here and told me about this grave injustice," Miranda said

  "I don't care who started this, but I'm going to end it. You have lost the entire purpose of these fundraisers, and we will all have a talk with Mr. Winston in the morning," Marni said. "Miranda, hit the road. You are done here for the night."

  Miranda and her accomplice left the building. Marni did speak a little more to Ana Mia in private and calmed her down. Several Mia Army fans slunk around the room waiting for their star to come out of the dressing room. I don't know if this is how a show should end, but overall, it was a good show, and I hope she raised some money.

  CHAPTER 24

  Dixie Monroe is going to be a fierce competitor. She got the jump on everyone by attacking Facebook to promote her upcoming show by setting up an event and promoting it to several groups she belonged to. One of the other girls let me know that she sent the invite out to over two thousand people. I can't compete with that since I barely know ten people here in the city.

  Her show was called "The Sparkling Diamond Revue." I was clueless what that meant. I was covering for Sheila at the hotel because she was running late, She texted me in a panic begging me to stay a little
bit over. She promised she would make it up to me. I really believe she was running late because she couldn't stand to be around the night manager, Jaime. Jaime was a very nice person, but shortly after he started working at the hotel, he started to perspire on a regular basis, and with that, he started to smell. It was getting very difficult to be around him, and we were all trying to find new ways to avoid him. I was just hoping Sheila would get here in time because I wanted to see Dixie's show. I need to learn as much as I can from these girls before I strut my stuff on that stage and run my own show. It terrified me because I didn't want the show to be a turd in a punchbowl.

  So I got to the show as the overture was just finishing, and I had to find standing room in the back because the room was packed. It seemed like all her marketing had paid off. I had better learn how to better use the Internet to my advantage.

  The curtain opened to reveal a large spinning disco ball hanging from the middle of the stage. Once the spotlight hit it, it lit up the room like sparkling diamonds. The music started - Nicole Kidman from “Moulin Rouge” covering "Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend" - Dixie came out in a silver-mirrored full-length gown. As the spotlight hit her, she turned into a giant disco ball herself. She had the whole routine down to a “T.” The crowd ate it up with dollar bills raining down on the stage. It brought a tear to my eye because I loved the movie and she was killing it. I wished I could pull something off this well.

  She grabbed the mic and proved to be a very gracious host as she welcomed her guests to her party. And a party it turned into. "Tonight we are here to raise funds for Meals on Wheels, which is a cause near and dear to my heart. They provide food to those individuals who are confined to home or are not healthy enough to get out and take care of themselves. I've volunteered in their kitchen and helped prepare the meals, and I believe all of us need to give back. So please take this opportunity to get involved and help out. It can make a huge difference in someone's life. Enough preaching bitches! Let's bring out one of the regular cast members here from Club Cabaret. Please welcome to the stage the dynamo in action, Miss Crystal Belvedier.”