Shooting Stars Don't Say Goodbye

by Marcos, J. A.

  As predicted by my weather boy, soon the first drops of rain began to fall. We were already inside the tent, lit only by our flashlight. Gradually we realized that the rain was getting stronger and the wind also increased.

  - Are you cold? - Mat said hugging me.

  - Very! - I said laughing, full of second intentions.

  The bonfire fade out completely and soon after was the turn of our flashlight to go off, and the cold that my body felt was taken by the heat of Mat’s body.

  ***

  I woke up on the next day, once again, with breakfast being served by Matt. We spent the morning undoing the tent and preparing things out. It was the most perfect day of my life, and everything was just beginning. There were still more surprises ahead, and I was curious to know what were the next steps. We hit the road early in the afternoon, but stopped at a roadside restaurant called La Bistro Del Chefe. It was some restaurant that tried to look fancy, with a wrong French name, but despite being on the roadside had good food. Our last meals had been canned food, we needed something more natural.

  This time there was no Braille menu, but Matt told me all dishes making funny comments on each of them. There was no great difficulty for him to give me the details as the selection of food was not up to much.

  - I'm in doubt between rice with mashed potatoes, steak and fries or fries with rice, steak and mashed potatoes. - He laughed.

  - I think I'll stick with the first option – I said making a face of who had made the best of choices - it seems less caloric, and I don’t want to get fat.

  Once the dishes arrived Mat left where he sat across the table in front of me, and came to my side.

  - Can you help me with this? - He said grabbing my hands and leading up to his face.

  - With what? – I asked without understanding what he was talking about.

  - This. - And I realized that he was putting a blindfold on, asking me to help him to make a stronger knot.

  - A little more of your world. - He said laughing as I tied the blindfold, a bit incredulous, on his eyes. - I also want to eat without seeing. I've heard that the taste of the food is better not seeing it.

  I realized by the voice of the waitress, a voice of some 25 years old woman, that she didn’t understand very well what was happening. A blind accompanied by a blindfolded mad man is not something you get to see every day.

  - Do you wish anything else? - She spoke with a voice of surprise, after leaving the plates on the table.

  - No, thanks. - Said Matt

  We ate normally. Despite the food being simple it was really delicious. Mat asked to drink a juice of a fruit called soursop. I had never tasted anything like it, but it was actually very tasty.

  - It seems that the flavor becomes much clearer when we don’t see the food. - He said with his mouth full, looking like he was doing well eating blindfolded.

  - Maybe. I don’t remember how it is to eat seeing the food. - I replied smiling.

  We continue to eat until Mat finished his plate and was startled when he took the blindfold off. From what I understood he had done a bit of damage, because every time he cut a piece of steak he ended up throwing much of the rice out of the plate.

  - Beginner – I mocked him, realizing that he had made a mess around the plate - not everyone has the gift of eating in the dark and still not missing the class.

  We laughed a lot and then ask the account. I finished the juice that was in my glass and then went off towards an unknown path for me. We traveled over 40 minutes and finally stopped.

  - Where are we now?

  - Finally, civilization! - He replied as he pulled the air with strength and gave a breath of satisfaction. - A beautiful lodge with direct air-conditioning, hot shower and a warm bed as well.

  - So you give up living in the woods? You are very weak. – I laughed at him for a change.

  - It’s not that I've given up. I just have the right to experience new sensations, and nothing like a hot shower to warm our love.

  - You’ve been being very naughty Mr. Peterson. Who said that I’m willing to take a hot bath with you?

  - What a pity then, I'll have to do it alone.

  - Is it me or it’s like our trip is being based in only have sex, sex and more sex? - My voice seemed to really be full of doubts, although I didn’t need to find answers to know that would be a great activity during a travel with Matt

  - Of course not. Sex is only a foretaste of the trip, although I never had sex with you. Every time we got together we made love, the purest form of love.

  I didn’t have much to say to that. He knew how to use words to make me even more in love. Each time more passionate, if that is possible. Mat went to the front desk and requested a room. The inn was called Eagle Nest, something very typical of a place where people go to nest more than to really rest. I wondered for a moment where these people took these names. They have never heard of an advertising agency? Professionals specialized in making a study of the business, create a brand, giving appropriate options of names, create campaigns to attract a particular audience, and everything? I wonder who gave that name to this place. Very creative.

  We had the room number 131. A wooden key, so I felt, seemed to be painted with nail polish, so strange. The room was tiny. It had a bed that was already facing the door, a TV placed in any part of the wall, and a bathroom on the left side, and a tiny balcony.

  As I entered I fell on the bed, and already felt Mat falling over me, giving me long kisses.

  - I need to go to the bathroom. - I said, now trying to familiarize myself with the place and understand where everything was.

  - Go down the left side of the bed and take about 6 steps forward, when finding the wall you can go two steps on your right and you'll find the bathroom door. Do you want help?

  - No, thank you. – I answered laughing and enjoying the way he helped me, letting me to deal with things all by myself and not making me feel like an invalid. – You have helped a lot giving the coordinates.

  I followed what he indicated me and I could get there without problems. It wasn’t six steps, eight actually, eight long steps. The bathroom had a bath, I ran into while doing reconnaissance.

  - I’m back. - I said, falling back on the bed, on top of him, kissing him.

  - Now I’m the one who’s going - he answered me already taking off his shirt - I am very willing to take a hot bath.

  I fell on the bed while he stood. By the sound of the zipper I realized he was taking off his pants.

  - You do that to let me imagining things, don’t you? - I asked, this time without laughing, even biting my lip, trying to control myself.

  - Do what? - He asked, and by the sound of the voice he should already be at the bathroom door.

  - Nothing. Never mind. Go straight to the bath!

  I suddenly felt his body falling over mine. He came back. That was a work of art. It was an answer to all my prayers. I had reasons to thank God every day for such a blessing, and what a blessing, my particular Greek God.

  He kissed me, hugged me on the bed and I felt a bit of his euphoria over me.

  - Now I'll really go the bath. - He told me, shortly after leaving me completely crazy with that situation.

  He stood up and went to the bathroom. I heard the sound of the shower and by the sound of the water I realized that he was underneath it. I decided not to think twice, took off my blouse totally crazy, ripped off my jeans as fast as I could, and just using my pair of lingerie, I had no idea whether or not matching, I went to the bathroom, hoping we would take that bath together. The closer I got, bigger was my euphoria. I wanted he to be mine, I wanted to be his. The heat from the hot water was getting closer to my skin.

  Every minute I was more dependent of him and he knew it.

  CHAPTER 18

  That hot shower was really a thing from the gods. That tub was a thing of the Gods. Mat was literally something of the Gods. It was another wonderful surprise the way it happened. I liked to experience th
ese new things with him, and each different first time we had was like a new first time. We looked like a couple on honeymoon, testing every corner of the new house.

  It was a moment that was only ours, so intimate, that I wished that we never had to leave.

  - You are the best thing that ever came into my life. - He told me, giving me a kiss on the head.

  - You should tell this to all your girlfriends. - I replied, trying to get another compliment from him.

  - You're the best girlfriend I’ve ever had. - He replied, kissing me on the neck and being the sweetest guy in the world.

  The water of the bathtub was warm, delicious. Our bodies relaxed, immersed in that bathtub that was our new world. I had never felt so comfortable with a person, and I know I would never feel that way about anyone again.

  - I wanted to ask you something. - I took the opportunity to kill a curiosity that haunted me since the day I went to this dinner at his house.

  - You can ask. You know I have no secrets for you. - He replied as he gave me a thousand kisses on the neck.

  - It's about your ex-girlfriend. The one your father mentioned at dinner. What happened to her? Why didn’t she have an arm? Have you ever fell in love with her as well?

  - When we started dating she had both arms, but she suffered a motorcycle accident and had to amputate part of it. It was with her that I learned to ride a motorcycle. She was still a minor at the time, we had 17, about to turn 18.

  - What was that like? Were you with her when it happened?

  - She had an accident on the road. She was going to my house and ended up suffering the accident. A drunk guy hit on her motorcycle and she almost died. Her arm had to be amputated, was totally destroyed and could not be restored.

  I felt I should not have touched on this subject. I felt guilty on Mat’s voice, like he thought that the accident was his fault.

  - If she wasn’t going to see me nothing would have happened. - He said, giving me the assurance of what I imagined.

  - But you had no fault, it was an accident. - I said, wanting to go to the question that eroded me more. - And why did you end?

  - It was a teenager thing. In the background was not all that love, physical attraction was more than love. In the end she ended up meeting a guy in physiotherapy and we moved away gradually. She fell in love with him and we broke up.

  - And did you liked her? - That is the doubt that every woman has. Knowing if the boyfriend loved his ex-girlfriend. Wondering how much he suffered when it was over and if there was still some spark of everything that happened.

  - I liked, I did. - He replied as he stroked my hair. - But as I said, it became more attraction than true love. Even though I still suffered when we finished, until I realized that the world hadn’t ended and that our feeling were more of friends than anything else. You know Ems, today I know that I had never loved anyone, because all this time I was keeping that feeling to someone special. I was saving all this feeling for you.

  With that I melted down in that tub with him, talking about these things. I didn’t even need to ask anything else. The more we talked and the closer we were, more attraction I felt for him. I really loved him, and could feel the same feeling from him. But beyond the attraction of love that was taking care of our entire bodies, from all our hearts. It was impossible that we touched each other without the sparks suddenly appeared and we started doing things I had never done before.

  I thought I'd pick up the phone and call Caroline. I needed to know if I was in trouble, if it was some disease. Was I nymphomaniac and I didn’t know? Now that I had had my first time, had Mat awakened in me a button for me to want to do this all the time? Does it happens to all girls or is there really anything wrong with me?

  The first time I thought it would pass a long time without wanting to do it again. Although it was wonderful I felt a little pain, uncomfortable, being a virgin, but at the moment I smelled that tasty smell again, touching his skin and realizing that he was using only the towel, the desire has risen in me again, and now it was impossible be near him without wanting to do it all again.

  Does Mat also have this same desire? My head was a little tricky because I didn’t know if it was common to want it so much, all the time. I was afraid he’d think I was a freak and would give up on me. While I thought about controlling myself, don’t be so easy, I felt his hands caressing my skin, his lips biting my ear and kissing my neck, and when I realized I had no control of my actions anymore. I just had to feel a bit of euphoria from him that I got totally excited, and so as it was at all other places before, that tub would also be a witness of our love.

  ***

  When night came we went out for dinner. We had slept a bit after we left the tub. We were exhausted, and I slept over Mat’s chest, feeling his particular essence.

  We went to a restaurant near the beach, as we were in a seaside location. Mat insisted in not saying where exactly we were. He claimed he was part of the romantic mood maintaining some mystery about the location, even though it would be easy for me to find out later Googling the places that we’ve attended and finding out the exact location. But I had no reason to do so, he was being perfect and I collaborate to continue this climate of perfection.

  This time we went to an Italian restaurant called Nostra Mama. Instead of choosing any dish we chose pizza. It was “all you can eat” day and a great opportunity to get out of that boring thing that everyone has to go out to dinner and choose sophisticated dishes.

  - I love pizza! - Mat said excitedly. - I see we are the same about a lot of things. More things than I expected. - He gave such a delicious laugh I closed my eyes for a minute just to make sure the sound would be in my memory.

  I ate three slices while he ate five. I had a Calabria pizza, one of four cheeses and a Portuguese one. Mat ate the same three and still had shrimp and chocolate. I don’t like sweet pizza.

  Then we went out to walk along the beach. We walked holding hands, holding our shoes while we kicked sand and listened to the waves.

  - The moon is beautiful! - He said as he pulled me by the shoulder closer to him, hugging me. - But not as beautiful as you.

  - You know I love you, don’t you? - I replied. This was the second time I was telling him that I loved him.

  - Not more than I do. - He replied, as he turned to me and hugged me, lifting me and taking my breath away.

  He kissed me then. We walked for some time, until he stopped.

  - We are very far from a crowded place. It’s just the two of us here. Do you want to realize another crazy fantasy? - He asked laughing.

  - No. Not here. Let's just stay close together, enjoying the sea breeze. I'm crazy about wanting to be with you, but I'm not crazy to risk myself to do something in a public place.

  -Life is not a rehearsal, as a play, Ems. It only happens once, and if we were not happy at this single time, we’ll spend the rest of our lives regretting for what we should have done. If you want something, do it. Be happy, I'm here to be happy and make you happy. Life is too short to let the desire go and not take advantage of it.

  He hugged me and kissed me. We fell on the sand and we lay, facing the sky. He kept telling me how the sky was full of stars that night, and I wondered how beautiful his face should be doing all this counting of stars.

  - Have I already told you're my star? - I asked him, while my head was on his shoulder and he stroked my hair.

  - Yes, you have. - He replied kissing me. - I am the shooting star of your life. The one that fell at once and caused a big damage.

  - At the beginning it really caused some damage. - I replied laughing - but in the end it only brought light on my way.

  - Isn’t that weird for you to say that I brought light when you cannot see? - He asked with a voice of doubt.

  - My heart was dark, hopeless about loving again. You enlightened it, brought a new meaning to my life. My eyes don’t see, but my heart does, and you brought the light it sought so earnestly.

  I felt
his lips and his body on mine. His hands went around my waist, squeezing tightly. A strength I liked feeling. It was becoming routine not resisting to him, wherever.

  His lips started going down my neck while my legs were trembling, like the other times. My hands gripped the back of his head just enjoying every second of that feeling he gave me. I knew where this was going, knew to where all this would lead. I damned the moment when I agreed with the idea of wanting to be crazy enough to have courage to do that there, on the beach. That was what he could to me, he gave me the courage to not say no, to go ahead and do all the crazy things I wanted.

  It was another madness of love to put on my list.

  CHAPTER 19

  The next day Matt had prepared a childish day. We woke up very late, almost at noon. We stayed awake until about three o'clock in the morning on the beach. Thank God no one came to pick us up in the act, moreover, Mat assured me that this was a region with virtually no lighting, with only the moonlight and stars.

  We looked like two crazy in love, and yet we took bath in the sea at dawn. That's when we decided to go home, because the water was extremely cold. It was surreal, it was unimaginable. I need an urgent psychological treatment because my holidays were about to end and I would not be cool to teach in a class full pre-teens while having sexual thoughts. That would be disturbing and complicated.

  Mat seemed to have made me addicted on purpose, and things were happening in a way that we were not even thinking about using the condoms that my mother had put in my bag.

  As promised, on the afternoon we went to the amusement park. Bamboo Park opened at 13h30, and it was one of those places where you pay a fee to enter and then you are free to enjoy all the attraction you want since you have the patience to stay in the queues. But I have no problem with that, the constitution gives the disabled the right to skip queue, and this is very helpful in those moments.