How Wicked-er Can She Go?

by J. Morgan

  I felt like total crap seeing the quiver of a sob forming on his bottom lip. “But I thought you liked me."

  "Hey, you're an okay guy, don't get me wrong. But if I had to listen to you drone on about that techno mumbo jumbo one more minute last night, I swear I'd have slit my own throat."

  Okay, this hadn't been what I'd planned on happening. I wanted Gregory to see her for the cow she was, not have her rip his heart out and stomp all over it.

  "Alice, I can't believe you were dating me for my money. You were so...” He paused as the sob swelled. “So nice."

  "Believe it, baby. Nice don't put Gucci in my closet.” Okay, she had the whole wicked thing down. I should be taking notes, instead of thinking of ways to kick her ass.

  "I think you should go.” His dejected little head tilted toward the door.

  "I don't think so. Some hopped-up geek isn't dumping me in some dive out in the middle of nowhere.” She rose from her seat and towered over him. “You will sit your dweeby ass there and do exactly like I tell you to do, and be damn glad a woman like me is giving you the time of day."

  Okay, the bitch just crossed the line. My spell might have made her tell the truth, but making him her slave was not part of the deal. Besides, if you haven't forgotten, this particular geek belonged to me.

  "Sister, if you weren't listening, the guy ain't buying.” I hefted my butt out of the booth.

  "Look, you old hag. This is a private conversation, so carry your ass back to your table.” Alice whipped around, giving me a venomous look.

  "The only ass I see here is you. Gregory, get up and go tell Dion to clear out the restaurant for a few minutes. Alice and I need to have a witch to bitch chat."

  "Nikki?” He scooted to the end of the seat, peering at me like I was crazy. He knew me so well.

  "Who else?” I snarled beneath the green warts and pancake make-up. “Now, do what I said, before you get called in as a material witness."

  He started to say something, but a look sent him scurrying from the booth. Alice tried to snag him, but his fear of me was greater. Smart little dickens, wasn't he? Gold Digger huffed at his abrupt departure. I ignored her obvious play for attention. Her shit didn't work on me. I didn't have a penis.

  The shuffle of feet told me Gregory had delivered my message. The slamming of doors told me Dion had taken him seriously. The old god hadn't survived for as long as he had by being stupid and not being paid up on his insurance premiums.

  I waited until I heard the key turn in the door before turning around. “Okay, slut. I can understand you making a play for Gregory's cash, but if you think I'm going to let you get away with treating him like a total piece of crap you've got another thing coming."

  "Who the hell do you think you are, talking to me like that?” the woman shrieked.

  "Let's try this again. I tried to be nice. Since you're too skanky to understand nice, I'm going to have to do this the hard way.” I didn't wait for a response; I simply cut loose. Magic swelled from my fingertips and slammed into her. Nothing harmful, mind you. She didn't instantly become a frog, if that's what you're thinking. I just wanted her attention. Now, if she wasn't up to a civilized discussion, I felt perfectly justified changing selected body parts back to their original dimensions.

  "What did you just do to me?” She scrambled back against the booth.

  "Nothing you'll remember tomorrow.” I squatted down so that we were eye to eye. “I'm willing to let you walk out of here, but first you need to learn a harsh lesson, something you should have learned a long time ago. Gregory is perhaps the finest man I've ever met. He's kind, gentle, smart, and an all round great catch. What you were trying to do to him just wasn't right. Now, was it?"

  Fear flooding her eyes, she shook her head.

  "Since I've set my cap for him, I'm glad you were a spiteful gold-digging bitch, but the next woman that comes along might not be as forgiving as I am when you go after their man. I think it would be in both our best interests to make sure something like this doesn't happen again—” I waited for the nod I knew was coming “—so, here's the deal. I'm a witch, and I'm going to cast this teensy weensy spell. Nothing harmful, mind you, but something to make you think before you skank."

  Alice let out a baleful whimper.

  "Oh, don't be such a wuss. I'm not going to hurt you, but if you ever try that shit with another man, this spell will wither whatever you got that isn't factory original until they look like something the cat wouldn't even drag in. You get me?” Feel free to laugh your ass off. Morloque knew I would have if I'd been able.

  I just needed a big finish to seal the deal. Throwing back my head, I let the most insane amount of drivel you've ever heard in your life fly from my lips. It was so stupid; I won't even insult your intelligence by repeating it here. I cracked my eye open to see if she bought it. Figured I'd done enough, so I rolled my eyes back in my head, and gargled the Star Spangled Banner before throwing my head forward and growling in her face: “Biggidy Pobbify Jiggidy, pop a tiddity if you do."

  The words were enough to send her spiraling from the floor. She took off like a shot for the door. Her spindly legs couldn't carry her fast enough. I heard her high heels skidding across the slick tile as she hit the entrance. The front door opened on cue as she hit the carpeted foyer.

  Dion must have kept an ear open. Bet he had been snickering the entire time. At least I hoped he had, otherwise I was about to find myself in big trouble. I rocked back on my butt, feeling supremely satisfied with myself.

  "Nikki.” Gregory's voice brought my smugness to a crashing halt.

  "Gregory, I'd like to explain.” I started to get up, but he put his hand on my shoulder.

  "No need to explain anything. I get the picture.” He eased himself down beside me. “You hexed her. Didn't you?"

  "Yes, but it was for your own good.” I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye. My heart believed the words, but my mind kept telling me the whole thing had been more for me than him.

  "How can I be sure those words were really hers and not yours? Nikki, I want to believe you, here.” He tapped his chest. “But my brain is always going to know that some part of you can do things to other people—make them do what you want."

  "Gregory, sure, I'm a witch. I can't change that. I couldn't if I wanted to, and I don't. It's who I am.” I shifted around until I was facing him. I wanted him to look at me. “I know this is crazy, but I love you. I shouldn't, but I do."

  "Nik—"

  I put my hand over his mouth. “Stop, I need to finish this. Loving you is the hardest thing I've ever done, because it means I have to care about somebody besides me. In case you haven't noticed, I'm the most self-absorbed bitch you will ever meet, but I'm willing to try changing my wicked ways, if it means there's a chance we can be an us."

  I held my breath as he digested my speech. His eyes flickered with doubt, sending my heart plummeting to the tips of my toes. I'd lost him. My one shot at true love blown because I was too damn wicked for my own good.

  "Those things she said were really her?” He didn't raise his head.

  "I swear to you, I didn't make her say anything but what she had been thinking.” I wanted to add witches’ honor but held back. I knew how far witches’ honor would go with him at that moment.

  "I'm not saying this will work, but if we give it a shot...” He looked up. “We wouldn't have any crazy relatives showing up all the time, giving me funny looks from the TV would we?"

  Put your hands over your ears. I'm going to tell a little white lie here. “Of course not. What do you think this is, a sitcom?” Okay, you can take them off now. “So, you're willing to give it a try?"

  "I'd be lying if I said you haven't been on my mind these past few days. I don't know what love is supposed to feel like, but I can't stop thinking about you. My gut is tied in knots when I'm around you, and I feel empty when I'm not with you.” He sighed and sat back.

  "Then why were you with Alice?” I slurred the n
ame into a curse.

  "Because you scare the hell out of me. Being around you is like being in the middle of a natural disaster. I never know whether the house is going to fall in around me, or I'm going to be sucked straight up to heaven. No one has ever made me feel like that before.” My heart sunk. This was it—the big blow off. “The funny thing is I don't want that feeling to ever end."

  Mama say wahoo, but in moderation. This wasn't over yet. Time for me to bear my soul. “I'm just as scared as you are, but I'm okay with that as long as we're scared together."

  Gregory leaned in and took my lips with his. The move was so unexpected; I nearly fell back on my ass. I mean I was dressed as hag of the year and he still wanted to lock lips with me. Tell me this guy wasn't a keeper. Now all I had to do was convince Melina this was all part of my plan.

  Hey, it could work. Probably wouldn't, but hell, I was due a break sometime.

  "So, what do we do now?” Gregory asked.

  "Sex?” It sounded like a good plan to me.

  A grin split his face from ear to ear. “You read my mind."

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  Chapter 20

  Stumbling through my front door knowing that any minute I'd have the man of my dreams wrapped around me in depraved positions had never felt so good in my life. I barely noticed knocking my head against the door jamb or the curse of a thousand pixie hands groping my ass from the rift in my haste to get inside. Gregory loved me. The world could be taken over by Neverland for all I cared. As long as his hands held me tight, what else mattered?

  True, Melina would probably be here any minute to toss my butt out to the curb. I could live with that. Gregory was loaded. He'd put me up, hopefully in exchange for sexual favors. Until then, it was still my house to make the horny in. As long as I had Gregory with me, it would be damn well perfect. Tomorrow might be a different story. If so, I'd deal with that problem when it reared its ugly head and not a minute before. I refused to let reality kill my sex buzz.

  I'd left Gregory a few minutes behind me on the drive home. I'd taken a few liberties with the parish-approved speed limits, so I could clear the Neverland from the house before he arrived. Nothing ruined a romantic evening like mythical creatures running around while you were trying to get your freak on.

  I tilted my head back toward the road, checking for his headlights. The lonely stretch was clear as far as the eye could see. I figured I had about fifteen minutes to get my house in order. Okay so I might have hit the sound barrier to get here. I doubted that gave me enough time, but what was a girl to do. I'm no expert on cleaning Neverland out of the carpet, but I knew it would take longer than a quarter of an hour. Using a freeze time spell would have been too risky. With my luck, I'd have sent us back in time instead of stopping it.

  I'd just have to do my best. Luckily, I'd spelled my disguise off on the way home. I may have scared the crap out of a busload of nuns when I did it, but getting un-hagged was one less thing I had to worry about.

  I turned toward my living room expecting the worst. The sight that greeted me was anything but. The room looked spotless, better than I normally keep it, if you can believe me. The floor practically gleamed. I couldn't even see a speck of dust and no pervy dragons or giants playing poker.

  Okay, only one thing made sense. Melina had already taken up residence. She'd moved her new, improved witch in while I'd been off twitching the light fandango. I was surprised she hadn't had my bags waiting for me on the front step. I slunk into the living room, waiting for the other shoe to drop any minute.

  Nothing! My house was clean and it scared the crap out of me. Call me paranoid, but I knew without a doubt, any minute now, someone planned to jump out and play Freddy Krueger on my ass. I have an active imagination, don't ya think? If this wasn't an episode of The Twilight Zone, I didn't know what it was.

  "Don't look so surprised. This place ain't half bad, once it's all spruced up."

  I reserved the right to jump out of my skin until later, just because the sight of a clean house had shocked me into a dazed stupor. “Nob?” And because I recognized the voice.

  "Who else, darling?” The troll walked out of the kitchen with another one of my double-shots in his hand. The bastard!

  "What happened to the poker game?” Even the kitchen was clean. I needed to sit down. Wholesale cleanliness was all too much to take in.

  "I figured you'd work things out with the mortal, so I sent them packing, after I made them clean the dump up.” He slapped his hands together and rubbed them. “Bert didn't want to, but I'm persuasive when I'm holding a royal flush."

  "But why?"

  "I told ya. You remind me of me daughters. Call it paternal instincts kicking in, but ya deserved the perfect end to this evening if things worked out, or a clean place if they didn't. So did they?"

  "He'll be here in a minute.” I wanted to add ‘so scram’ but he'd cleaned my house, so I owed him civility—just not a whole lot of it. Two minutes tops.

  He tipped his head. “Then I'd best be going. Nothing like an old troll to kill that loving feeling."

  I couldn't let him go without saying something. I went over to the old reprobate. “Thanks."

  "For what?"

  "Being there.” I bent down and wrapped my arms around him, kissing him on the top of his furry head. “Don't be a stranger."

  "I might stop in from time to time at that. For a witch, you seem to need a lot of looking after. Besides, this mortal hasn't gotten my seal of approval yet. If he steps out of line, let old Nob know and he'll come running."

  The troll faded from between my arms in a blast of blue powder that shimmered, washing over me. I blinked and he was gone. Damn pixie dust. Now I was going to get sinusitis for my trouble. Try to get sentimental, and this was what you got.

  "Nikki, are you okay?” The sound of Gregory's voice made my heart skip. This love thing was sickening, even when it happened to me.

  "Yeah, I was picking up something I dropped."

  "You shouldn't keep leaving the door open like that. It's too dangerous for a woman alone to take chances in times like this."

  "Then it's a good thing I have a strong man like you to protect me.” I rose from the floor and threw my arms around him. “Did you remember to shut it?"

  "I sure did.” He snuggled against me. “Locked it, too."

  "Oh my, aren't you thorough? Since we're all safe and sound, what should we do now?” I batted my eyes like any good vixen would do.

  "Not to be presumptuous, but I believe there was some mention of carnal pleasures back at the restaurant.” A blush washed up his neck and face.

  "Was there, now?” I wiggled my breasts into his rock hard chest. “Care to refresh my memory?"

  The heat of his mouth against my lips brought a curl all the way down to my toes. His tongue pressed against them, forcing its way past my meager defenses. His raw need woke something in me. It was already awake, but damn if it didn't stand up and start doing an aria worthy of a diva.

  I couldn't stand this for another minute. My house was clean. The bedroom was a good ten feet away. Too far away for my liking. Why not defile my living room?

  "Gregory.” Tearing my mouth away, my voice came out all husky. I sounded just like Kathleen Turner.

  "Yes, my love?” he whispered back. He was no Michael Douglas, but who wanted Michael Douglas? Sue me, I love Romancing the Stone.

  "I think my memory is refreshed.” I stroked my finger down to his strong jawline.

  "Funny, I can't seem to remember my own name. All the blood has left my head."

  I let my hand fall to his throbbing crotch, finding just where all that blood had gone to. “I think what you need is to relieve this pressure and your memory problems will be solved."

  I didn't give him a chance to say anything. Deftly, because witches are all about deftly, I moved him toward the couch while untangling those nasty pants from the parts I was trying to get to. Talented, aren't I?

  We ma
de it to the couch without bodily harm. No mean trick with Gregory's pants around his ankles. I was so busy unraveling him from his clothes I didn't notice he had been doing the same to me. How he got my shirt over my head without me noticing I'll never know, but he did it. Thank Morloque I'd worn the Victoria's Secret instead of the usual Wal-Mart specials. Nothing screams Do me, big boy! like peek-a-boo black lace.

  Our last step sent us tumbling over the arm of the couch. We landed in a lump of tangled flesh, throwing cushions into the air. I felt the weight of his newly freed cock growing against my inner thigh. I wished he'd shucked my skirt instead of my shirt but then I'd still have my panties to deal with. I'm ashamed to admit it, but granny panties were the fashion statement of the day, so perhaps that was for the best. I'd been in such a hurry I forgot to coordinate my unmentionables. As distracted as he was, I hoped I could toss them under the radar without him noticing.

  My fingers gripped the hem, tugging for dear life. My blood boiled as he placed gentle kisses down my cleavage. I know my sex life had seen an upswing lately, but the admission of love had set my body into nuclear meltdown. The fact he lay naked, willing and on my couch didn't hurt either.

  There went my underwear. Don't look! Sheesh, you people. I snagged them with my toe, and shoved them as far under the furniture as my biggest digit would allow. My secret safe, I turned my full attention back to Gregory.

  I was entitled to enjoy this moment. I'd foiled the gold-digging floozie, forsaken my job in favor of true love, won the heart of the man of my dreams, and somehow convinced a troll to get pixies and giants to clean my house. As far as I was concerned, nothing could ruin this moment.

  Of course, you realize that was my first mistake.

  My front door exploded, sending us flying to the other side of the room. It would appear in my sex-befuddled state that I'd completely forgotten about Melina. My bad. Hitting the wall brought the fact rushing into my brain, along with a mountain of pain. No, my mistake. The pain was the couch squishing my boobies into my spleen, and Gregory's knee in my back. I guess it was too much to ask for a time out so we could finish the sex before she stomped a mud hole in my butt.