Sweet Venom (Crazy in Love #1)

by Kirsty-Anne Still

  “Thanks,” I say, dusting myself off.

  “Not sure what’s goin’ on, but we have someone comin’ out to make sure it’s fixed,” he tells me before he turns to Ashley. “You okay, Sweethawt?” he asks her, playfully.

  “Yes, thank you,” she replies sweetly. She gives me a look but doesn’t thank me. “I’m going to go for a shower.”

  Liam steps around her. “Your father sent over another suit,” he changes the subject, returning his attention back to me. “Apparently, your jeans and leather jacket look didn’t fit in at the workplace.”

  “Send it back, I say, stalking off. “If he wants me to wear a suit he can impose the rule instead of sendin’ me them as a subtle hint.”

  I carry on, heading toward the kitchen to get myself another drink. I rub my groin, trying to force the erection away while not letting my father ruin my evening without even being here.

  “Hey, Boss,” Liam shouts following me at speed. I stop as he looks over his shoulder and nods me into the room on our right. “What was that about in there?” Liam asks, putting his back to Ashely.

  “Nothin’,” I say, utter denial in my tone.

  “Didn’t look like nothin’,” Frazer quips as he joins us.

  “Fuck off,” I grouse, refusing to look at Ashley. She evidently overheard the conversation. “I’m getting’ a drink. Get that elevator sorted and someone find Nate and Tess.”

  I leave them, walking through my apartment, heading into the entertainment room to get a glass of scotch. Once poured, I pick up my glass and walk toward the door at the far end. Opening it, I let in the New Orleans’ air, allowing the gentle sounds of jazz music to fill the penthouse. I step out onto the balcony, moving through the garden I’ve made on the eighth floor this apartment block until I’m furthest away from the door.

  Under the canopy shielding me from the elements, I sink into the armchair of the seating area. I close my eyes, allowing myself to drown in the noise of New Orleans, trying in vain to tell myself that chaos lives only on the streets. What’s going on in my head has no comparisons.

  Opening my eyes, I lift the glass to my lips and take a large gulp of my scotch. I savor the taste as I swallow it and close my eyes again. After the burn of liquor sinks deep into my chest, I open my eyes and see clarity has returned.

  What the fuck did I think I was doing with Ashley?

  She’s been in my life no more than few fucking days, and I’m playing lothario to her in a broken down elevator.

  My father told me she was not to be touched or harmed – by me or my men. He also told me before I left his office to get her – right before I nearly castrated Kelvin – that I was not even so much as to have a dirty thought about her, but there I was giving into a moment of weakness.

  Had the elevator not broken we may not have shared that moment, but that doesn’t mean it would have never happened. I can swear until I’m blue in the face that I feel nothing for her, but there’s something about her, something that mesmerizes me, and I can’t ignore it.

  “Boss, we need to talk,” Liam announces walking straight over to me. “Alone.”

  I know he’s hinting we should move to my office, but I’m done with this week and the weekend to start. Between meetings with my father, dealing with a rush of jealousy I didn’t realize I was harboring and allowing lust to confuse every damn sense I had I just wanted this week to end.

  “I’m not in the mood … whatever it is can be said here, Liam.” I watch him as he shifts his weight between his feet and looks over his shoulders. “We’re alone enough out here, right now. What is it?” I ask, sitting up, paying attention.

  Liam decides to sit on the arm of the couch next to the armchair I’ve taken. He leans in, his palms pressed together and clear his throats.

  “I heard word before you got home that we have a slight issue,” he starts, meeting my gaze with brazen. “It’s gotten out Ashley’s here, and there are some not-so-happy people learnin’ that you’ve got yourself a bit of a fugitive living with you. They don’t like you’ve got a non-member here with you, workin’ with you … by your father’s orders or not. And … they think you’re goin’ to become too distracted.”

  “Do you think I’m distracted?”

  Watch him hesitate, trying in vain to keep quiet and tell me something I want to hear, but he betrays his own wishes and his shoulders slump before he sighs.

  “I think you’re getting that way,” Liam admits, being as honest as always.

  Shit.

  That’s decided it.

  “What am I to do?” I ask, more to myself than at Liam. “You know what? We’re goin’ to stick by my father’s rulin’, and we’re not goin’ to stick by them.” I say, pushing myself up from my chair. “We are doin’ this my way.”

  I watch a sly smile start to curl onto his lips, telling me he likes the idea of where this could potentially be leading.

  “Thought you were goin’ soft on me, Boss,” he quips jokingly.

  “Trust me; it happened once. It isn’t happenin’ again,” I comment, a gruffness to my voice. “I’ll make sure of it.” I take in Liam’s face, seeing how excited he is suddenly. “We’re goin’ to show them how involved I am with her, and we’re goin’ to exploit her at the same time.”

  “But back there …” he starts, a worry in his voice.

  “I’m a man,” I say as if the situation isn’t of any importance. “I lead with my cock.”

  He laughs, sounding relieved already. While that statement might be true, I can’t deny that Ashley has helped awaken something in me that I thought was a long time dead. The blackened part of me as started to ebb with life and I’m not sure if it’s a matter of lust of hope.

  “Any idea who our worse threat is?” I ask, mentally analyzing who could’ve caught word.

  “Where do I start?” he asks, a lament in his words.

  Shit.

  My blood turns cold when I realize that Ashley is playing in a world so much bigger than her. She thinks she can handle men like Kelvin and stand tall beside me while we fall into some sort of easy love affair, but in actual fact, she’s not prepared for anything that will come her way.

  “Do we get her an apartment away from here?” I ask, setting my glass onto the flat arm of the chair.

  “I’m not leaving,” Ashley suddenly chimes in, announcing she’s there.

  I don’t move. I remain facing toward the skyline, fingers sitting loosely around the glass.

  “It’s not a question up for debate,” I reply, my fingers slowly curling around the glass. “It’s for your own good.”

  “You wouldn’t know what’s for my own good if it jumped up and bit you,” she says, a venom in her voice and I know that I put it there.

  “I’m not to harm you.”

  “Too late for that,” she bites.

  “Likewise, I’m not to let anyone harm you,” I continue as if her comment before meant nothing. “So … that means getting’ you out of here.”

  “I’m not going,” she denies my simple request.

  I stand, moving from my seat to face the woman that’s broken my walls quicker than I had a chance to defend them. That moment in the elevator is proof of that. I let my guard down, I allowed myself a chaste moment of sheer carnal temptation, and now I’m sat out here kicking myself over it.

  As I take her in, I feel the overwhelming urge in me. I can see she’s taken what happened no more than twenty minutes ago harder than she’s trying to let on. But as the wind lightly whips her brown curls around, I see the redness of her own shame highlight her cheeks.

  “Leave us,” I order Liam.

  He quickly obliges but not before I see the look on his face. I see the way he looks at us, but he knows better than to disobey me at this moment.

  I know he wants to stay, but this is not a conversation I need his expertise in or his opinion.

  It’s a matter that concerns me and Ashley only.

  “Look,” I start, rubbing my ja
w.

  “No,” she interjects. “I’m not going to let you force your way out of this with some clever wording. I wanted a chance to change, to be someone no one has ever let me be and I finally find I can be that here and you’re ready to tear it all from me.” She holds her own supremacy now, shaped by the final straw of my rejection. “And the funniest thing is, you think you’re not a forever man, well I’m not a forever kind of girl,” she says, digging the point of her nail into my chest. “In the hours since meeting you, Lawson, I felt like I’ve looked in a mirror. We crave the same thing but fear commitment. You saw it, too, in that elevator. I know you did. I know you felt it in you. You knew what you were doing was right. You knew what you were doing was the one thing you wanted since we played pool.”

  “I was weak,” I tell her, trying to remain strong in the face of a woman who’s got me worked out. “We’ve been runnin’ on whatever this is since I saved you, but I can’t keep savin’ you. It’s not my job.”

  “I don’t need that!” she exclaims. “I don’t need a man to save me. I’ve done enough of my own saving over the years.”

  “Then what was that back in that elevator, huh, Ashley?” I ask her, smacking away her hand only to start leering at her. “You called me your hero. Those were your words.”

  I watch as she shakily swallows the lump in her throat.

  “I was desperate.”

  I can hear how she breaks forcing that comment from her. I also see how much she doesn’t mean it. She’s protecting herself, trying in vain to, yet again, hold the pieces of her fragile heart together.

  “But I get it now … you’re just like the others.” I notice the film of tears that brush over her brown eyes. “I’m good enough for you until I’m an issue. Well, newsflash, I was an issue the moment you got lumbered with me.”

  “There are a lot of elements in this life that mean we aren’t made for one another, Ashley. It doesn’t mean that I feel nothing for you, but I know how this world works.”

  “And I have a pretty good idea about that, too,” she replies, bluntly. “I’m fully aware what men like you and Bryce and Harvey King can do when enough people tell you can.”

  “No one told me I could,” I tell her, correcting her stance.

  “Your father did,” she argues, antagonizing me. “I saw it first-hand.”

  “And I also took a lot of power away from him,” I defy, my jaw starting to clench with the rage I’m building. “I made sure I sacrificed everythin’, so my sister didn’t have to. That was my powerful moment. I won that day. That told me I’m not like my father.” I breathe heavily, telling myself to calm. “As for you, I’m showin’ my power by protectin’ you because I don’t want to see you hurt.”

  “Too late for that,” she says, brandishing her hurt openly. “Mark my word, I am not letting you lock me up when I have had a taste of freedom.” Her eyes dip for a moment before looking up at me. “When I have had a taste of your life.”

  She’s such a naïve little creature – beautiful with it, but so, so naïve.

  “There are far more dangerous people than me, Princess,” I state, forcing her to realize that I’ve not yet peaked as the monster my father would love me to morph into. “You haven’t seen anythin’ yet.”

  “Likewise,” she challenges, her eyes become emblazoned with a new life. “And you dare fucking lead me on and discard of me like that again; I’ll make you wish you’d never laid eyes on me.” I can feel the fight in her now, feel her starting to really come alive. “I’m no whore, and you don’t get to treat me like one.”

  The sound of her fighting back, the ferocity that ignites her turns me on, and I can’t deny the little smile that begs for an audience.

  “As you said before, Lawson, you can’t protect me, I have to protect myself.” She’s a livewire now, running on pure adrenaline while she can. “That’s what I plan to do while I stand by your side.”

  She turns and leaves me standing in the middle of the balcony as she walks away.

  I’ve met very few people who shake the very foundations I have stood and built a life on, but I believe I have just found another, and the game about to start excites me more than I could possibly tell anyone.

  It feels like a distance life that I met a woman willing to stand up to me, to meet me eye to eye and to not back down.

  And fuck me, if it doesn’t feel good.

  This loft apartment couldn’t feel any tenser than it does right now.

  Lawson and I have barely spoken, not that he hasn’t tried, but more because I didn’t want him to see the hurt I still feel at his rejection. Of course, after sleeping on it, I realized he has a reputation he had to uphold. The same reputation he is fierce to protect. I’m the least important thing in his life.

  I look at myself in the mirror, another sleepless night dawns on my face, and I reach for the foundation to my right. Tess made sure I went without nothing, and now I’m more than happy she didn’t listen to my reluctance.

  I dab on dollops of the liquid, working it onto my skin to even out. I get ready for my day with mascara and eyeliner, not putting on too much, but enough to distract anyone from seeing just how tired I am.

  Taking in another good look at myself before I apply another coat of mascara, I realize I’m not entirely sure what I’m tired of – sleeplessness or never knowing what would become of me. While I’ve burnt through every emotion more than twice since this started, Lawson stirs something different in me. While Bryce made a romantic out of me, Lawson is drawing a deeper temptation, tempting me with darker aspirations than to seek some happily ever after.

  Lawson makes me want a purpose.

  With that thought, I decide to put the mascara down and brave the world – the one I’ve no intention of leaving.

  Turning to face the door, I take in a deep breath. I know all of Lawson’s men are somewhat aware of happened in that elevator before they opened the doors and I’m pretty sure Liam would have done anything to dampen my name.

  Finally, I leave the room.

  I wait for the noise and hubbub of Lawson and his men.

  But it’s calm, silent even.

  Slowly, I creep through the loft, heading for the kitchen. I need a large cup of joe, and I need it STAT. If I’m going to make it through today, I need to start it effectively. I only catch sight of Lawson when I enter the room. I don’t react to him and go over to the coffee maker. I grab myself a mug, dragging it purposefully across the workspace.

  “Mornin’,” he says, breaking the silence but I notice he’s barely able to look up from his newspaper.

  “Morning,” I reply with an emotionless tone, continuing to pour my coffee. “Is it okay to go out onto the balcony?”

  “Do whatever you want,” he tells me, not even trying to look at me. “We leave in about an hour or two.”

  “Well, I’m ready,” I state, finally getting a reaction out of him. “So whatever and whenever.”

  Purposefully, I avoid walking passed him as I grab my coffee and head out toward the balcony. I retract my steps into the hallway instead of walking through the kitchen and out. Some may call it childish, but it’s my only coping mechanism to things that hurt – avoid and hide.

  The early February air is delightful on my skin. It makes me feel fresh as it chills my skin just slightly. Although not freezing like at night, I can tell the New Orleans heat is just waiting to cut through and captivate the city. Taking the last few steps, I find myself facing the world as it is and rest against the balcony watching the world continue around me.

  “It’s an amazin’ sight, huh?” Lawson’s voice catches in the air behind me. He comes and stands beside me, unmoved by my lack of response. “Soon you’ll be a part of it all.” He points out, just down the street to where the parade is moving with exuberance. “The life and soul of this city.”

  I continue to look outward, telling myself to be strong.

  “You can’t ignore me all day,” he comments, leaning on the brickw
ork of the balcony.

  “Can’t I?” I ask, finally looking at him. “Seems it’d be best just to stay out of your way.” I grip the mug and shake my head, unable to let go off the thoughts that have passed through my head all night. “I don’t know what hurt more … your rejection or being written off well before I stood a chance.”

  “You’re enterin’ a game of survival, Ashley, it’s not as easy as just slottin’ in and runnin’ with it,” he states, grousing over the matter at hand. “You need to play like the boys before you’re accepted.” He looks off into the distance. “And today’s the perfect opportunity for that.”

  I chew on the inside of my cheek thoughtfully, and I realize that I’m the one making this harder on us both. He’s offering an olive branch, he’s here and talking to me. I’m the one letting it all fall away by being stubborn. Sure, Lawson’s hot and cold behavior is one that can maim, but I refuse to let it ruin anything else.

  There’s something between us, something he feels as well and I’m not prepared to ignore it.

  “Okay,” I say, allowing the idea. “And what is the plan for today?”

  “We’re headin’ to Bourbon Street,” Lawson says, so matter of fact. He steps up to me, his eyes locked on mine, his body closing in. “You ready for the time of your life, Princess?”

  “Depends,” I say, turning until my hip is resting against the balcony and I’m looking at him. “What does the time of my life include?”

  “One hell of a hangover in the morning,” he quips, sarcastically.

  I cock a brow. “What else?”

  I watch him enjoy the easy banter that’s occurring. It puts him into a gentle sense of security that we’re okay.

  “Easy,” he starts, leaning in. “You get to act like a fool,” Lawson replies, an easy smile marking his face. “Because no matter what … what happens in New Orleans, stays in New Orleans.”

  I cross my arms over my chest, looking every inch of the skepticism I feel. “New Orleans is nothing like Las Vegas … so you can’t rip that quote off.”