Sweet Venom (Crazy in Love #1)

by Kirsty-Anne Still

  “I can,” he disputes. “Because New Orleans’ is better.”

  “How?”

  He looks back out at the city landscape. We’re just above the old buildings, the heritage around us is breath-taking.

  “Look at it,” he says, put his arms out, taking in the area. “Isn’t it a beautiful city to live in?”

  “Yeah,” I say, really taking in the view. “It really is.”

  “And,” he starts, turning away from the city. “We’re in the epicenter of American history … just like Liam said.” He then sighs, a contented happy exhilaration of where he lives. “And just to put the naysayers down, we’ll go to Marie Laveau’s voodoo shop and see if one of them witches can prophesize your future with The Firm.”

  “Don’t tell me you believe in all that hocus pocus,” I ask, with a dubious voice and widened eyes.

  “No,” he states dryly. “But I’d rather have a witch on my side than against me,” he tells me, raising a brow as he makes the point. “You don’t want any more bad voodoo after you than that what comes with the job … it’s an occupational hazard when workin’ with The Firm.”

  “Among other things,” I say, looking him up and down.

  “Look, let’s discuss last night,” he starts, and I watch him move, turning his back to the world only to lift his entire body, so he’s sat on the balcony each. “I know you’re not stupid enough to see how much my men like to gossip monger.”

  I guess he placed himself there for a sense of authority, a way to look down at me. I decide if he’s going to do that I’m going to join him. I’m not about to act like a subordinate to him. I see the amusement twinkle in his eyes, but he hides it well, keeping it deeply trapped away.

  “I let it go to my head,” I remark, having already accounted for his reasons.

  “I guess we both did,” he admits, more apologetic than ever.

  “This doesn’t mean you’re forgiven,” I remark, swallowing hard. “Nor does it mean I’ll let you go there again.”

  I jump down from the wall not wanting the proximity.

  “We’ll see about that, Princess,” he muses watching me as I start to leave him sitting there. “Once the liquor gets flowin’, you won’t be able to resist me.”

  “Okay, Lawson,” I say, keeping myself walking away from him.

  Once I make it inside, and the warmth of the apartment hits me, rationale returns. I close my eyes, taking in a calming breath before heading further into the loft. I turn a corner to find Tess and Nate making out by the elevator. Quickly, they stop, sensing me in the room with them.

  “Hey,” Tess squawks, pushing Nate away. “Didn’t realize you were here.”

  “Your brother’s outside,” I reply without any other word.

  “I’m well aware of the two canoodlin’ at the end of the hall,” Lawson comments sarcastically as he comes to stand back by my side. “Can’t say I approve.”

  “Boss,” Nate starts, putting even more space between him and Tess.

  “Don’t,” Lawson stops him, putting a hand up at the same time. “I don’t need to know about your antics with my sister.” I watch his eyes darken a little. “But you know what will happen if this ends badly.” A solemnness befalls Lawson, and his shoulders sag. “Can we have a talk?”

  Tess bites her lip, hesitantly. “I suppose.”

  Lawson heads in the direction of the bedrooms, Tess closely following. Nate doesn’t stick around to make idle chitchat, and I decide not to bother. I head in the direction of my bedroom, but before I can get there, I hear Lawson’s voice. He’s trying to keep his tone down, and I know he’s tried to not make the situation worse by shutting the door on their conversation. I stand with my back flush against the wall and listen. I know no good will come of this, but I know Tess is hurt by Lawson’s lack of approval.

  “You’re goin’ to get hurt,” Lawson states, a matter of fact tone hitting Tess hard.

  “I’m old enough to pick myself up,” Tess argues. “Nate and I have always had a spark, Lawson. It’s nothing new. It’s always been there.”

  “He’s a player,” Lawson tells her, trying his hardest to put her off. “I’ve seen the number of girls he’s been through, see how he treats them. I don’t want you to be another number he forgets or another notch in the bedpost he gloats about.”

  “He won’t.”

  “You’ve been in England for over eight months, how would you know that?” Lawson asks, his tone becoming very antagonistic. “And I mean anything?”

  “Don’t treat me like a child, Lawson,” Tess lashes out, her voice unable to cover the hurt he’s inflicted. “Yes, I’ve been in England, but I had to do a lot of growin’ up. And do you know why?” There’s silence before Tess continues. “Because I didn’t have the big bad brother to protect me. I had to rely on myself and learn to protect myself.”

  “Love is different,” he starts, using a soft tone.

  “Love isn’t out to get us all, Lawson!” Tess argues, a conviction in her words. “It’s not out to fuck us all over like you’ve been led to believe. Some of us get a true love, and some of us don’t want to let it just slip away so we can live an eternity of regret and loneliness.”

  “I didn’t let it slip away,” he bites, deep rooted anger flares. Something unlike what I’ve been privy to so far.

  “No, but you let the girl,” Tess reacts.

  I go to gasp but cover my mouth. It makes sense why he’s so apprehensive with me, and I can’t stop the ice from setting in through the ventricles of my heart, causing a pain unlike any other. Tess has just laid Lawson’s biggest secret out, much like Liam had before.

  “I did not,” he argues, and from the way his voice lowers it tells me he’s trying to keep himself calm. “She left, and that’s the end of is it. Why are you all so quick to use her against me? She’s gone, she’s not some pawn anymore!”

  “Doesn’t feel good to be mocked by someone you love about someone you’re in love with, hey?” she asks, a malice in her voice. “Exactly. So think about that when you condemn me loving Nate.”

  “I just worry about you,” Lawson comments, delicately. “And I don’t trust anyone with your heart … not even you, Tess. Your heart is given away far too easily.”

  Tess goes silent for a few minutes, Lawson sighs.

  “Tess,” Lawson starts.

  “I love him,” Tess admits, her voice wrung out with every emotion possible. “I have loved him for years, and I’ve never been brave enough to act on it. I’ve always kept him at arms lengths.”

  “I don’t want you hurt,” Lawson states, reiterating his main reason.

  “I know you don’t,” Tess tells her brother, and I hear her move. “But he loves me, too, he told me so.”

  “When?”

  “Last night,” Tess comments.

  “Before or after he’d consumed his body weight in vodka?” Lawson asks, incredulously. “Jesus, Tess, you believe the words out of a drunk man’s mouth. Does he even remember?”

  “I think so,” she says, a hesitant tone in her voice. “You don’t just forget somethin’ like that.”

  “You do with the amount he put away,” Lawson muses, unhappily. “You’ve fallen hard for him, haven’t you?”

  “Well before I knew,” she replies, the honesty more palpable than ever.

  “And that’s that, isn’t it?”

  “And that’s that,” she confirms. “You loved freely, now let me.”

  Another sigh, another silence.

  “Okay,” Lawson finally caves. “But I will make him eat his balls if he breaks your heart.”

  “Deal,” she states, a lighter tone to her voice. “Now, can we go and celebrate Mardi Gras? It’s all getting a little serious in here for my liking.”

  “It really is,” Lawson jests, chuckling. “Let’s round the troops and get going.”

  I slink away, making it seem I never listened at all.

  We slow, at first I think it’s because the throng of
people has thickened, but then a smell of essence catches in my nose, and I turn back the way we came and see Lawson standing outside an open doorway. Just inside ancient talismans smothering the wall. It doesn’t take me long to guess, but I decide to investigate.

  “I thought you were kidding,” I gasp, looking at the sign hanging over the door.

  “Oh, Princess, I don’t kid,” Lawson amuses me. “Much.”

  “Lawson!” Liam exclaims, catapulting himself at Lawson so he can put an arm around him. “Want to see if they have any potions to help you get lucky?” Liam jokes, laughing at himself.

  “Only if we can check if they have some eye of newt that’ll help you get a bigger penis. Then you can really learn to impress a girl.” Lawson’s response comes quickly after Liam’s joke causing his mouth to fall open. “What?” he asks, giving Liam a pointed look. “I’ve seen the disappointment that trails behind you.”

  “Low blow, bro,” Liam remarks, forcing a wounded voice. “You wouldn’t know what to do with a wang like my one.”

  “Wang?” Lawson asks utter disbelief dampens his voice.

  I giggle, but the noise forces Lawson to look at me, horrified, to say the least.

  “What?” I ask, shrugging. “I was mere inches from finding out about your wang,” I emphasize on inches, putting my hand up with my thumb and index fingers barely apart. “The embarrassing bit would’ve been over by now had they not gotten into the lift when they did, and I’d know who’s side to jump onto.”

  “So don’t blame me,” Lawson gripes, looking at his men before us. “Blame my very efficient men.”

  “Look, don’t want to sound like a dampener,” Frazer states, stepping into the crowd. “You’re funny and all that … but I really want to find a crackin’ pair of tits.”

  “What, so we don’t get to go into Marie Laveau’s?” Tess asks, pouting.

  “Another day, Tess. I promise,” Lawson comments, seemingly agreeing with Frazer. “Seems we need to get the party started and we can’t do that pissin’ about on the street.”

  “Here, here!” Frazer exclaims and starts to lead the crowd of us back in the direction we were headed originally. “To the Palace!”

  “The Palace?” I ask, looking up at Lawson.

  “Yeah, it’s only a few blocks up. It’s what we call the apartment. It’s really nothing fancy.”

  “Oh right,” I say, now looking at everyone heading up from the shop.

  “C’mon,” Lawson says, pushing me forward a little. “Let’s go have some quality fun.”

  Lawson keeps me close, he tried with Tess but she glued herself so tightly to Nate, I was second best. We move through the crowd in tandem, weaving out of the way of people starting to drink and those who have been drinking all day.

  Eventually, I see Frazer and Liam turn into a white, old style building and I look up to spot people on the balconies above, hands laden with beads, tossing them at bystanders.

  “Still seems a bit quiet,” Nate queries, looking around.

  “Quiet?!” I gasp, unable to comprehend how this isn’t the full party. “How is this quiet?”

  “Oh, Newbie,” Liam starts, laughing. “You’re in for such a surprise.”

  Again, Lawson gives me a tiny push, signifying for me to go before him. I follow our gang, heading for the winding staircase at the far end of the foyer. We climb to the top and head down the red carpeted hallway until we reach a door at the end. Lawson tosses Frazer the key who excited unlocks the door, entering only to hold the door open for us all.

  “The key,” Frazer says, handing back the old, tainted gold key after locking us in.

  Lawson takes it and puts it back into his back pocket before leaving me alone to go ahead. From here I scope the place. It’s not like the loft; it’s cozier. There’s a large lounge area with lots of seating and rooms spiraling off. I notice the kitchen and a dining room and can only guess the other rooms are bedrooms and bathrooms.

  Already the noise from outside is filling the room, and I notice that there are doors leading onto a balcony overlooking the streets below.

  “It’s getting’ rowdier,” Liam comments coming back in from the balcony. “A lot of drunks already.”

  “Someone open a bottle or two of Jack Daniels, and we can play catch up,” Lawson orders, rubbing his hands together.

  “Now, you get to see what too much testosterone looks like,” Tess quips, giving an eye roll. “We’ve got to show them how to really drink.”

  I know this is make or break and as all eyes fall on me I feel empowered to rise to the challenge.

  “I’m game,” I quip quickly, stepping in closer. “I’m ready to make this a night to remember.”

  It felt easy drinking with these people. I felt a part of something. Something I haven’t felt in a long time. So much so I find it overwhelming and have to seek air, get lost in the life below us in order to catch up with my own.

  I go out onto the balcony, heated by the warmth of the whiskey. I look down at the people and take notice of the beads around their necks, the colors all matching. I also notice a lot of foul behavior in order to get beads.

  “It’s called bead fever,” Lawson states, holding up a bunch of purple, green, and gold beads. “Girls will do just about anything to get their hands on these.”

  “So … let me guess,” I start, crossing my arms over my chest. “You extort the fact?”

  “Boys and their toys,” he says, shaking the beads before heading out onto the balcony. “Here,” he states, nudging me. “Watch Liam.”

  I obey.

  “Ladies!” Liam yells out at some women walking passed us on the street below. They stop just beneath us. “Hey ladies!” he says, giving them a wave with a handful of beads. “What you gonna do for some beads?”

  All four of the females reach for the bottoms of their tops, lifting it up to show off their boobs. I can tell they’re used to it as they all give us a little shake and I have to do everything in my power to not relinquish the laughter I’m holding onto.

  “Bead fever is real,” Tess jokes, placing purple beads over my head. “The boys will do anythin’ to see boobs.” She looks between them all before turning back. “It’s almost like they never get to see them.”

  “Isn’t the whole point of this holiday for the boobs?” Liam asks, acting dumb.

  Tess rolls her eyes. “How about we go play some drinkin’ games, and we’ll come back when they’re drunker than this,” Tess suggests, lifting the bottle up. “We have a lot of alcohol and a whole evenin’ to party through.”

  “I’m not stayin’ here all evenin’,” Lawson states, grousing over the idea. “Let’s get the music turned up, the liquor flowin’ and just get completely wasted before we head to O’Reilly’s!”

  I go back inside, seeking out more drink and I fall into a seat next to Frazer, watching him and Nate getting lost in a game of paper football. Nate flicks the triangular piece of paper, it landing solidly through the middle of the goal Frazer has created with his hands. Just as Nate rejoices, Lawson seats himself down on the other side of Frazer, directly opposite me.

  “That’s a shot,” he states, pushing the shot glass toward Frazer.

  Pouring a shot, Frazer doesn’t miss a beat with downing the brown liquor and prepares for his turn. He cracks his neck and settles in, aiming for Nate’s manmade goal.

  I look toward Lawson from across the table, his eyes don’t leave me, not even when he knows I’ve spotted him. He continues to watch, bringing the glass bottle of beer to his lips, slowly dragging a gulp from the bottle only to set it back down onto the table once more.

  He says nothing but watches and I don’t do anything but watch him back.

  Right until he gets up and leaves the room.

  Some time later, we’ve all come inside, beaten by the chillier breeze that’s descending upon the city. The lighting outside is dipping, and street lights are starting to help emblazon the streets. The noise is increasing now, the shou
ting getting louder, the people getting merrier.

  “Can we go properly drinking now?” Nate asks, Tess sitting firmly on his lap. “Seeing boobs is all fun and games, but I’d prefer an ice cold beer right now.”

  “What are you?” Frazer asks, giving him a look of sheer disgust. “Gay?”

  “Whoa!” Nate starts, putting his hands up. “Not gay … but if I’m down there drinking I can touch boobs for beads. Get me a few handfuls and not have to just stare.”

  “You’re disgusting,” Tess says, smacking him hard on his chest before getting up off his lap.

  “Tess, Bay-bee!” Nate yells after her, getting up. “Look what you’ve done.”

  “Me?” Frazer asks, his voice going high with his shock. “You’re the one who just thought with his penis.”

  I watch Tess stalk off across the room, leaving to go onto the balcony and I follow her. There’s clearly a history there, and she’s been burnt by it again. I grab the bottle of Jack Daniel’s on my way, taking a swig of it.

  “You okay?” I ask as I find her in the farthest corner. I hand her the bottle, and she doesn’t even hesitate. “It’s okay … I know you’re not.”

  “I don’t know why I still crush on a pig,” she says, her anger palpable. “I go away, I forget about him, but I come home, and it’s like all the feelings come rushin’ back … except I forget every single bad point.” She gives me a look – so wild and lost in her emotions. “He told me he loved me last night. I knew I was stupid to believe it, but I thought hey, maybe the alcohol’s doing the job. He admitted he loved me and hates it when I go away, and today it’s like nothing happened. We just flirt and become very hands on.”

  She rambles on, and I take a moment to look at Lawson. He’s leaning against the black railing of the balcony, watching us. So I take her hand and force her to the seating area furthest away from the group.

  “Never trust your heart, it’s only ever going to get your fucked.” She takes another swig as she falls into a seat. “And I can’t talk to Lawson because he’ll either kill him or tell me he told me so … because he did,” she says, her hurt causing her to babble. “He told me not to go there, that a man like Nate doesn’t settle. Lawson told me I’d only ever end up hurt because he’s one of the guys. They’re not settlers. I am just another notch.”