Foolish

by Anna Black

  “No, silly, but you will be in about nine months.” April held up the stick. It said PREGNANT in the little window.

  November thought she might pass out. “No fucking way!” she yelled. She snatched the test from April’s hand to get a closer look.

  “I told you. I told you,” April sang.

  “Why are you so happy? This isn’t good, April. Tracy is gonna go through the roof.”

  “Why? You are pregnant. That isn’t such a bad thing.”

  “Yes, it is, April. We aren’t married yet.”

  “So? You’re getting married, what, in six or seven weeks?”

  “How do I tell him I’m pregnant?”

  “Easy. You say ‘Tracy, you’re gonna be a daddy.’ That’s exactly what I told Anthony the first time.”

  “Anthony is different. He wants you to have a team. He let you open a freaking daycare. He loves kids, but Tracy and I don’t talk about kids. Maybe once or twice, but not much.”

  “Well, you gotta tell him, Shareese. You can’t not tell him.”

  “I’m gonna tell him, but what if he gets mad and breaks off the engagement?”

  “Why are you freaking out? Tracy loves you. Why would he kick you out because you are pregnant? Tracy wouldn’t do that. He’s not like that, Shareese, so why are you making him out to be this villain?”

  “I don’t know, April. I just didn’t expect to get pregnant this soon. I wanted to get married, try to start my own business, and have a baby later on. Tracy and I didn’t talk about getting pregnant right now, so I am not sure how he’s gon’ to react.”

  “Listen, baby, Tracy is a stand-up type of guy as far as I can see. He is going to be happy and so should you. Babies are a blessing. Not every woman can get pregnant, so God has put the baby in your womb for a reason, and that wasn’t to destroy your relationship. So relax, it will be fine. Tell Tracy. He is going to be happy.”

  “You think so?”

  “I know so.” April gave November a hug.

  The two women sat in the bathroom for a few moments while November shed some tears. She was emotional and nervous, but when she looked at the test in her hand, she smiled. She was going to be a mother. She was carrying Tracy’s first child, and that made her feel privileged.

  April stayed for a while, and they talked and talked until November felt better about the situation. After April left, she showered and put on some pajamas. She grabbed some crackers and poured herself a glass of ginger ale. April told her to eat small portions and try to keep crackers on hand ’til she got past the nausea stage. She ate slowly, trying not to piss the baby off so she wouldn’t throw up again. After about thirty minutes, she felt better. The idea of having a little one was starting to sink in.

  She got up and made a sandwich, praying that the little person had mercy on her and allowed her to keep it down. She looked in the mirror. Her color was coming back.

  “Thank you, little one, for allowing Mommy to feel better,” she said, rubbing her tummy. She had no idea what she was having or how far along she was. She went in the bedroom to take another nap because the act of eating the sandwich made her feel like she had run a marathon. She snuggled under the goose-down comforter and thought about the little being inside of her that had been draining every ounce of her energy for the past couple days. She drifted off to sleep and was awakened by a soft kiss on her cheek.

  “Tracy, baby, what time is it?”

  “After seven. How are you feeling?”

  “After seven?” she said. She had been asleep since four o’clock that afternoon. This little leech inside of me is gon’ have me out for the count.

  “Yes, close to eight. We stopped and had a couple of beers when we were done,” he said taking off his shirt. “How are you feeling, baby?”

  “I’m feeling better. I managed to keep a turkey sandwich down.”

  “That’s good, but if you don’t feel completely better by tomorrow, first thing Monday you are going to the doctor’s to see what’s wrong with you.” He took off his pants. He had on a pair of shorts, and he was looking delicious, November thought as she watched him move around the room.

  “Well, Tracy, I am going to the doctor’s on Monday, but I already know what is wrong with me.”

  “Okay then, what?” he said, digging through his drawer. November wondered what he was looking for.

  “I’m pregnant,” she said and lay still, awaiting his reaction. Her heart thumped against her chest, and she just wanted him to say something to let her know that the news was good news, and not bad.

  Tracy paused. He tilted his head and just stood there with his back to her. She got nervous when he didn’t say anything.

  “Huh?” he said, turning to face her.

  She swallowed. “I said I am pregnant.”

  “Did you say pregnant?” he asked.

  November wished she could take it back. She sat up and looked down at her lap before she spoke again. “Yes,” she whispered.

  “Novey, don’t play. For real?”

  “Yes, for real.”

  “For real, for real?” he asked.

  Her eyes started to well. “Yes, Tracy, you are going to be a daddy.”

  “Are you serious? I’m gonna be a daddy?” he yelled with excitement.

  November was relieved. The tears were rolling then, but she nodded, answering his question.

  “Oh, baby, that is fantastic,” he said, moving close to her.

  “You’re not mad?” she asked, shaking like a leaf.

  “Hell, no. Why would I be mad? We are having our first baby. Why would that make me mad, Novey?”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t know how you’d respond.”

  “Happy, girl. Damn happy. How do you know? I mean, when did you know? Tell me how.”

  “April convinced me to do a test today, and it was positive.”

  “Aww, baby, this is great,” he said, hugging her.

  “You’re really happy, Tracy?”

  “Of course I am, baby. You are having my very first kid. I am more than happy. I mean, Novey, I love you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and you and I are going to make amazing parents. With my brains and your good looks, this kid is gonna be the man,” he said, caressing her cheek.

  “Hold on, partner, this could be a girl.”

  “Could be, but I know it’s not. We Stones only make boys. Look at Trent. He has three boys. My daddy made two boys and I know I’m gonna have a boy.”

  “Well, Mr. Stone, we will see. I just hope we are settled and have the house by the time he or she arrives. I’ve always wanted to have a nursery.”

  “Oh, we will. Your condo is already sold, and it should be just a matter of weeks before the loft is sold. Before you are even showing, we should be settled.”

  “And I’m also glad we are getting married in a few weeks. Lord knows, I never wanted to be already pregnant at the altar.”

  “Well, my love, things happen for a reason.”

  “Yes, I know. And hopefully, Monday I’ll find out how far we are, and we will know when this little leech is coming.”

  “Leech? Why would you say that?”

  “The way I’ve been feeling lately, this baby is sucking me dry.”

  “Well, this is only the beginning.” He kissed her forehead and then her neck, and made his way down to her breasts. He lifted her top over her head and smiled at her dark nipples. He leaned forward and kissed her tummy.

  “Let me shower and get back to y’all,” he said, rubbing it.

  He headed for the bathroom and started the water. While he showered, he sang loud. November frowned at the horrible sound. He couldn’t sing a lick.

  When he came out of the bathroom, he had a towel wrapped around his waist. He still had water running down his chest, and November wanted to lick it off. She watched him dry off and step into his boxers.

  She smiled. “Why are putting those on when I’m about to take them right off?”

  “Oh, it’s l
ike that?” he said, taking them back off.

  “Yes, it’s like that.”

  Tracy climbed into bed, and they started kissing. He licked her body, and as usual, reached over to get the contraceptive gel from the drawer.

  “Why are you getting that?” she asked.

  “Because,” he said. He paused. “Oh, I guess we won’t be needing this for a while, huh?”

  “Nope, we won’t,” she said and smiled.

  She reached over and turned out the lamp on the nightstand, and they shared another night of good loving.

  Chapter Fifteen

  It’s so funny how time flies, November thought as she looked at her tummy. She was five months along and had already gained thirteen pounds. Her baby boy was doing fine, and they were looking forward to his arrival. Their new house was lovely. Painters were coming to paint the nursery.

  She was elated until her domineering husband called and said he was on his way home. She knew it was because he didn’t trust men in the house with her. She was so weary of his possessiveness that she didn’t bother to put up a fight. She told him that if he wanted to be there, he should come home so he could be there.

  She wondered why he would think a couple of painters would come on to a pregnant woman with swollen feet. She knew no one was checking her fat ass out, and she just couldn’t understand why her husband didn’t realize the same exact thing. He would swear that men at work wanted to get some of her pregnant pussy and she used to argue, but now she just agreed and told him that he was right whenever he suggested someone was checking her out.

  The only places she could go really without questions was to work and April’s, and sometimes she’d go insane there because of so many kids being there. Work was just work, and since Tracy had convinced her to go part-time, she didn’t feel valued there, so she put all her energy into decorating her home.

  She had always known one day she’d be married and become a mom, but never in a million years did she think her life would go the way it went. She never thought she’d marry a man who couldn’t relax if she walked around the corner, and she damn sure thought her career in advertising would have gone differently. She found herself just being content and not happy, but she loved Tracy too much to leave him.

  Tracy was a good man—kind, loving, attentive, and romantic—and the lovemaking was insane. She adored him, but there were times when she wished she would have left him a long time ago. Instead of giving him chance after chance to change, she should have been done. But she just couldn’t walk away. Now, he was her husband, and the value of marriage meant so much to her.

  She took her vows seriously, and she knew no matter what, she had to stick with it. She continued to pray for change, even more so now, since they were having a child. Single motherhood was not in her future, November declared.

  She just wanted Tracy to relax and stop being so insanely jealous. He’d go through a period where he’d do well, but one event or situation would send him two steps back. She remembered a time when one of her coworkers invited her to a candle party that she was hosting and he insisted that he go with her.

  She told him over and over that there wouldn’t be any men there, but he insisted that she was lying and he wanted to go anyway. When they got to Sabrina’s house and it was full of women, he felt foolish and told November to call him when she was ready. When it was over, another girl at the party offered to give her a ride home since she was going her way. She agreed instead of making her husband come all the way back to get her.

  When she got home, Tracy wasn’t there, so she called him to let him know she was home. He went ballistic. He hurried home and woke her up out of sleep in a rage, demanding to know what man had really brought her home.

  She promised him it was a woman named Denise from the party and even offered to call her to prove that she wasn’t lying to him. He had this big old scheme in his head of how, after he left, she had called her lover to pick her up, she went and spent time with him, and he had dropped her home. She was tired and didn’t want to go through this again. She tried to show him how ridiculous he sounded, but he wouldn’t listen.

  “Tracy, I am carrying your child. I would never mess around on you. Especially while I’m carrying our baby.”

  “So if you weren’t pregnant, you’d be with another man?”

  “No, Tracy, that is crazy. I am not cheating on you. I will never do that to you. I can call Sabrina, and she can verify that Denise gave me a ride. I’ll call her if you want me to.”

  He finally calmed down and went downstairs. November stayed in their bed and cried in the dark.

  Tracy had been doing great before that night. That one incident set them back, and he was driving her crazy. She promised herself that she wasn’t going to let him stress her out while she was pregnant, so from that moment on, she just went along with whatever he said without a fight. She let him take her everywhere and be under her if he wanted to. She didn’t say anything about his back-to-back calls because she had become accustomed to him and his routine.

  She loved Tracy, and she knew he loved her, but she didn’t know how to help him. She didn’t want to leave him, either, because he treated her well and would give her the world. Other than his jealous rages, things were perfect, and she knew she was blessed to have everything she had with him. The good did outweigh the bad, but she didn’t know how much more of the bad she could endure.

  She went downstairs to get a glass of water when he called her again for the second time in thirty minutes.

  “Hello,” she said.

  “Hey, baby, how you feeling?”

  “I’m fine, Tracy,” she said and took a drink.

  “Did the painters get there yet?”

  “Nope.” She put the glass down to rub her tummy because the baby was moving.

  “Good. I’m on my way. I will be there in about ten minutes. I don’t want those cats checking out my beautiful wife.”

  “Tracy, stop it. I’m almost six months pregnant, and I look like the Michelin Man. Ain’t nobody gonna be checking me out,” she said and went for a banana.

  “Baby, don’t say that. You are pregnant, not fat, and you are as beautiful as the day we met,” he said with the same kindness and complimenting words he had used since they first started dating. He had his ways, but he never held back his love, and never did he stop going out of his way to make her feel beautiful.

  “Why, thank you, baby. Sometimes, you say the sweetest things.”

  “You are welcome, Mrs. Stone. I mean every word I say. I am so lucky to have you.”

  “I’m lucky to have you too, babe, and you are the only man I will ever love,” she said, trying to confirm she wanted only him.

  “I know, November.”

  “Good,” she said and smiled.

  “I love you, and I’ll be there in a minute,” he said and ended the call.

  Tracy got there about five minutes before the painters, and he made sure November made her exit after telling them the details of what she wanted. She held her stomach and shook her head as she walked out of the room. She had no idea what she was going to do to make that man get the idea of her cheating on him out of his damn head.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Tracy, where are my keys?” November asked, looking around for them.

  Tracy was lying on the couch taking a nap while she was going stir crazy. She was nine months and miserable. She had been in the house for days. She wasn’t working anymore, and she needed to get out.

  “I don’t know,” he grumbled and repositioned himself.

  “Tracy, get up! Where are my keys!” she yelled and smacked his arm as hard as she could. If he didn’t give her the keys, she was going to call a cab.

  “Man, go on now. I’m trying to take a nap.”

  “Okay then, where are your keys?” she asked, going to the counter where he usually laid one of his sets of keys and his wallet.

  He hopped up. “Why? Where are you trying to go, Novey?”
<
br />   “Away. Anywhere, Tracy. I need to get out. I’ve been in this house for days. I’ve cleaned everything twice, I’ve rearranged the baby’s bag forty times, and I’ve triple-checked my hospital bag. The plants are watered, the laundry is done, and the fish are fed. I need to get outta here. I need some air,” she yelled.

  “And go where, Novey? You are nine months pregnant, and our child could come at any moment now.”

  “Well, I don’t think it’s gonna be this moment. Now, I know you hid my keys like you always do,” she said, moving in on him like she was going to punch him in the face. “Now give ’em to me! I’m tired of being a prisoner in my own home.”

  Tracy jumped up and grabbed her arms. She was hysterical, and she started to cry uncontrollably.

  He looked scared. “Baby, calm down, please. Relax. I will help you find your keys, and you can go anywhere you wanna for as long as you like. But please, calm down. You are pregnant, and I can’t let you leave this upset. You can take the Benz or the Infiniti if you want. I don’t care. Just calm down, Novey.” He held her while she sobbed in his arms.

  “I’m so tired and frustrated. You never let me go anywhere. Why do you hold me like a prisoner? Why are you so, so insecure? I love you, Tracy. I only love you,” she cried.

  “Shhhh. Please, Novey, don’t cry.”

  “I do everything for you, Tracy. I cook, I clean, I take care of you, and I’m home. I’m here. I’m home. I’m home for you, for everything!” she yelled. She was finally fed up. “I don’t complain, and you still have this fear that some other man is gonna take me away. I’m tired. I don’t want nobody else, Tracy. I promise you I don’t! You can’t keep doing this to me, you just can’t. I don’t wanna stay in this marriage if this is how it’s gonna be.

  “I want to be happy and free to go to the market without a million questions or a call from you on my cell phone every three minutes. People see us, they see me, and they tell me how lucky I am to have a man like you to love me so much, but I’m not. This is too much, Tracy, locking me in this house. I feel like I’m on house arrest, and I cannot take it another day. I wanna go, Tracy. I wanna go. Please let me go!” she begged. She sobbed uncontrollably.