Foolish

by Anna Black

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  Tracy’s cell phone rang, and he saw it was Trent. He picked up on the second ring. He always talked to Trent, because he wanted to make sure that November and the baby were okay. If anything went wrong, Trent would know about it.

  “Trent, what’s going on?” he said.

  “You need to call her,” Trent said.

  “Why? Is everything okay? Is my son okay?” he asked, panicking.

  “No, everything is not okay, Tracy. Your wife is messed up right now. You need to go home and be there for her. She loves you, man, and she is going through a lot, Trey. Go home to your family. They need you.”

  “I can’t, man, not right now.”

  “You can, Trey, damn. She is in terrible shape. You act like it’s all about you and your problems, but your problems are her problems. You need to stop this bullshit and go home.”

  “I can’t face her, man. I’m not the man she deserves right now.”

  “Trey, nobody’s perfect. She loves you, man, and she wants you to come home. She forgives you, Tracy, and she misses you. Your son needs you. Now get your head out’cha ass and go home to your family. We all make mistakes. Don’t you understand that November is not our mother? She is not Brianna. She is the woman you married, who you took vows to be there for through it all. But you are off somewhere in your own madness, feeling sorry for yourself. You are not Pop. Pop put his business first and his wife last. Mom, as wrong as she was, needed him and he wasn’t there for her.

  “Don’t do that to your wife, man. Don’t leave her out there alone like Pop did to our mother. I am not defending her, but our father didn’t do what he was supposed to do, Tracy, and she was lonely. The longer you stay away, the lonelier your wife will become. And if she moves on, Tracy, that will be your loss.

  “She forgives you. It takes a strong woman to stay after what you did, and if she is willing to work shit out with you after the shit you pulled, you ought to be praising God. Now go your ass home to your wife and son.”

  “I can’t, Trent,” Tracy said, crying.

  “Tracy, do you love November?”

  “Yes, I love my wife. What kinda question is that?”

  “If you love her, you will go home and do what families do: work it out. You are a married man. You are not a single person, and you can’t do November like you did all those other chicks you couldn’t bring yourself to trust. You can’t go off and be by yourself and push them away so you can put them in this ‘women ain’t no good’ category. She is your wife and the best thing that ever happened to you. Now, if you don’t wise up and go home and work it out with her, you may not have that opportunity later on.”

  “Trent, I just don’t know if I’m ready, man. How can I face her?”

  “Look, li’l brother, I know it’s gonna be hard, but at least call her. Let her tell you herself what the first step is. I promised my sister-in-law that I’d tell you what she told me to tell you and that is, ‘I love you and come home.’”

  “She said that?”

  “Yes, and that she needs her husband. Now, when I hang up, call your wife.”

  “Trent, what do I say? I don’t know how to start.”

  “You can start by telling her you love her and that everything is going to be okay. Once you hear Novey’s voice, trust me when I tell you it will come to you. I know you guys are gon’ make it, Trey. Just call her.”

  “I hear ya,” Tracy said.

  “Okay, li’l brother. I love you, and I wish you and November the best. And by the way, Darlene’s pregnant.”

  “Damn, dude, let me catch up.” Tracy chuckled.

  “Go your ass home and maybe you will.”

  “I hear ya, bro. Thank you, Trent, and I love you. Tell Darlene congratulations.”

  “Okay, I’m out,” Trent said and hung up.

  Tracy took a deep breath and dialed his house. His hands shook. He got more nervous when the phone started to ring. He hoped she’d talk to him and not cuss him out too bad.

  “Tracy, baby, where are you?” were her first words. No hello.

  “I’m okay, Novey. How is TJ?” he asked.

  “He’s fine, baby. He just misses his daddy. Tracy, please, when are you coming home?”

  “Novey, I want to come home—”

  “Then come home, then. Come home right now,” she said, crying. “I can’t do this anymore, Tracy. We need you to come home.”

  “I know, baby, and I miss you guys so much.” Tracy cried with her. He couldn’t stand to hear her cry like that.

  “I miss you too, Tracy, and I want you so much. I need you so much.”

  “Novey, I know I’ve been a horrible husband. I’ve done things that I’m not proud of, and, baby, I wanna come home more than you know. But before I do, you must understand that we have a long road ahead of us.”

  “I do understand that, Tracy, and we cannot work things out apart. How can you be away from us and not miss us?”

  “Baby, I do miss you and TJ. It kills me each day to be without you two.”

  “Tracy, I never asked you to leave,” she said defensively.

  “I know you didn’t, but I had to get my head right. You may not understand why, but I had to do some thinking and talk to somebody to get my mind right. I still have a long way to go.”

  “Okay then, Tracy. I’m not gon’ beg you to come home, but I have a question for you. Do you want to work this marriage out or do you want to continue to go at this alone? We are married. You are not married to yourself, so you shouldn’t have to go through this by yourself. If that is your choice and you are going to treat this like it’s just your problem, you don’t need me, and I’m not going to sit here and keep crying and stressing myself out over our marriage. I just can’t do it. Now, do you want this marriage? Because if you don’t, tell me so I can move on with my life.”

  “Baby, I do need you. I need you so much, and I don’t want to continue to be by myself. I want you and I want my son.”

  “Then why am I here alone without my husband? Why is the man I love not including me in his life? Tracy, I love you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t give a damn if you ever came home. But I’m here willing to fight for us and work this out. I’m right here.”

  “You love me that much, November?”

  “Yes, Tracy,” she said, sobbing. “I love you just that much.”

  “Baby, I’m so sorry for everything,” he said.

  “Tracy, just come home.”

  “I’ll be there soon.”

  “I can’t wait to see you.”

  “I love you, November.”

  November rushed upstairs to shower and fix herself up. She was so excited she couldn’t contain herself. Although it was late, she put on makeup and fixed her hair. She put on a pretty lingerie set and sprayed his favorite Bath & Body Works fragrance on her skin. She lit candles and opened a bottle of wine and sat on the couch, nervously waiting for her husband. Her son was asleep, so he would have to see his daddy in the morning, which was fine with her because she wanted him all to herself.

  Chapter Thirty

  Tracy pulled into the garage and parked his Infiniti between his Benz and November’s SUV. They had a four-car garage, but it still seemed kind of tight at times. He got out and decided not to get any of his things. He was anxious to see his family.

  He went inside and stepped into the kitchen. The candles lit the room, and the fragrance reminded him how much he missed being home. When he saw Novey looking like a queen, he immediately remembered why he fell in love with her. She was wearing a plum two-piece number that he had always loved her in.

  “You are so beautiful, November,” he said.

  She smiled. “So are you.”

  She moved to the cabinet and took out a glass for him then went to the fridge and grabbed the bottle she had started. She was about to pour it for him, but he came closer to her.

  “Let me get that,” he said. He opened the bottle and poured some in his glass and topped
hers off and handed it to her. He felt awkward as they drank.

  “Come on,” he said and took her hand. He led her into the family room, and they sat down. “Look, Novey, I’m sorry for all the bullshit I put you through. I was an insecure fool, and I am so ashamed of myself. The thought of another man touching you—”

  “Shhh, don’t say that. Don’t let that thought enter your mind. I know you have experienced and witnessed a few women disappointing you, and I know it was hard for you to picture a woman being opposite of those types of women, but life is full of good and bad people. All women are not the same, and all men are not the same either. Love makes you do crazy things. Love gives you strength to forgive. Love also gives you the power to trust. Love, Tracy, gives you the motivation to move on. I know our love has what it takes to make it through this. It’s gonna take some work, but I’m willing.”

  “I’m willing too, but I’m so afraid, November, that nothing will help me. I feel like even going to a shrink won’t help me because when we are not in the same room, my mind goes back to my mother and my exes. I swear I don’t mean to take it out on you.”

  “Listen, Tracy, I don’t have the cure or any magic potion that I can give you to make it better. All I can tell you is that I’m gonna be right here and we will find a solution. In time, you’ll get better, but what you have to start doing for me is fighting. Every time those images enter your mind, you say, ‘November is not my mother or Brianna,’ and you continue to fight that demon until you are free.”

  “I will, Novey, because I know in my heart who you are. I know that you are not my mother. One thing I’ve learned since I’ve been going to therapy is that I need to forgive her and understand that she is human too and she made some bad decisions. Unfortunately, my daddy had to lose his life because of a decision she made, but it’s over. Treva doing what she did, or Brianna doing what she did, doesn’t make you a liar. It’s simple on one hand, Novey, and I know I can beat this.”

  “So do it, baby. You are gonna be just fine. We are gonna be fine.” November smiled.

  “I love you, November.”

  “I love you too, baby,” she said, and they kissed.

  They put down their glasses and kissed each other passionately. They soon went from passion to hunger and November trembled under Tracy’s touch.

  “Baby, I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered as he undid the little button holding her top closed.

  “I’ve missed you too,” she said, reaching for his belt. They kissed each other, and within seconds, they were both undressed. They were starving for each other. Tracy sucked on her erect nipples as he entered her. It had been awhile since they had made love, so it was short but sweet.

  She smiled at him, and he buried his face in her breasts like he was embarrassed. She kissed the top of his head, and they lay there for a few moments with no words. They just inhaled each other and listened to the soft music.

  It felt good just to be home. They finally got up and went upstairs. Before they went into their room, Tracy went in to see his son. He picked him up, even though he was sleeping, and kissed him a couple of times before he put him back down.

  When he got into their bedroom, November was already under the covers waiting for him. He climbed into bed and vowed that he’d never leave his family again. He held November tight, and before long, he was inside of her again. They made love through the night, and the next morning, he got up with the baby and let his wife sleep in.

  Tracy could tell that his son had missed him. He tried to put him down so he could make breakfast, but TJ didn’t want him to put him down. He fought with him as he tried to put him in his playpen, so he picked him up again and sat on the sofa. He turned on the TV and sat TJ on the side of him. He waited ’til the baby was occupied with the TV and then eased into the kitchen.

  A few minutes later, TJ walked into the kitchen. When Tracy realized his son was walking, he yelled for November to get up. She ran downstairs in her robe, trying to figure out what was wrong.

  “Baby, TJ walked into the kitchen, I swear,” Tracy said and put him down so November could see.

  “I know, baby. He started walking a couple of weeks ago,” November said, yawning. She went for the coffee.

  “What? I missed his first step?” Tracy asked.

  “Yep, you missed it,” she said, putting cream into her cup. She took a seat on a stool at the island.

  “Well, I’ll be damned,” Tracy said putting both palms down on the island, shaking his head. “I missed my son taking his first steps.”

  “Baby, it’s okay. It was just a few days ago.”

  “No, it’s not okay, Novey.”

  “Listen, baby, don’t start beating yourself up, okay? You are home now, and you will have the rest of his life to catch all of his firsts.”

  “That’s not the point.” He poured pancake batter onto the griddle.

  “Baby, come on. We are going to take one day at a time,” she said, hopping off the stool. She went over and hugged him, and he gave her a smile.

  “You’re right.”

  “Yep. Now, hurry up, I’m starving,” she said and popped him on his bottom.

  They ate and laughed like everything had been fine all along. They didn’t talk about Kendell or their problems; they just enjoyed themselves. They stayed at the house and just hung around as a family watching movies, and she and Tracy played a few games of dominos. When they put TJ down for his nap, they played around in their room for a couple of hours, making up for lost time.

  “You are an extraordinary woman, November,” he said, holding her hand.

  “You are an exceptional man, Tracy. Things are gonna be fine. Just give us some time.”

  “I know,” he said and smiled.

  “I’m so glad you’re home, baby.” She smiled.

  “So am I. I am so sorry for everything.”

  She sat up. “I know, baby, and things will be better for us. Marriages are not a walk in the park.”

  “You got that right.”

  She smiled. “Well, I’m going to head down and make some dinner.”

  “Okay. Let me check on TJ and then I’ll be down to help.”

  “No, baby, I got it.”

  “Well, I can at least keep you company.”

  “Yes, I’d like that.” She smiled and gave him one more quick kiss before heading downstairs.

  * * *

  After dinner, November cleaned the kitchen while Tracy took care of the baby. It felt like things were back to normal, and she felt positive that things were going to be okay. She thought about April and what she said, and she smiled. Maybe she does have a gift, she thought as she started the dishwasher. Afterward, she went up to check on her men. Tracy was putting the baby down, so she went to take a shower.

  “Hey, sexy,” Tracy said, stepping into the shower with November.

  “Hey, baby. You come to get dirty or clean?”

  “I came to get dirty,” he said, and she laughed.

  “Oh, my,” she said, allowing him to embrace her from behind.

  They played around and washed each other’s bodies. Tracy rubbed November’s stomach with her bath sponge, looking at her stretch marks.

  “Let’s have another baby,” he said.

  “What?” November said, raising an eyebrow.

  “Let’s have another baby. Let’s give TJ a little brother.”

  “Baby, come on. TJ is barely a year old.”

  “He’ll be one in a couple of weeks, Novey. He and his brother can grow up close like Trent and I did.”

  “Whoa, hold on, Tracy. Slow down, baby. Don’t get ahead of ourselves. I want more kids, but we have some work to do on our marriage. And I still want to start my own business.”

  “We can still do all those things, baby, and I’m here to have your back with whatever. So why not?”

  “Because, Tracy, we have to think about some things. To just get pregnant now may not be the right thing to do.”

  “Why not?
You love me, don’t you?”

  “Of course I do, baby, but that’s not the question. It’s just that we just got back together and we have some things we need to iron out first. We have plenty of time to have more kids.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. We are still young. We can wait a little while,” he agreed.

  “Yes, we can. When the time is right, we will know it.”

  “Well, we can at least practice, right?”

  “Oh, yes, that we can do.”

  Chapter Thirty-one

  “Hey, come on in,” November said, letting April and her family in and taking their coats. She and Tracy were having their son’s first birthday party. Tracy wore a party hat, looking foolish, like a big kid. He walked into the foyer at the very moment Tony, April’s husband, leaned in to kiss November on her cheek. Jealousy tried to rise up in him, but he was learning to relax, and he pushed the thoughts away.

  “Hey, Tony. Man, what’s going on wit’cha?” he asked and shook his brother-in-law’s hand.

  “Aww, man, same ol’ same. Working, trying to take care of a houseful of spending women,” he said, joking.

  “I hear that.”

  “Baby, I’m gonna put these coats in the guest room,” November said.

  “Oh, let me help you with those,” Tony said. Tracy almost knocked him down, pushing past him to get to November first.

  “Naw, man, you are a guest. We got it,” he said, taking some of the coats from November. He followed her down the hall into the guest bedroom.

  “Tracy, what was that?” she asked when they were alone.

  “What was what?”

  “You almost knocked the man down.”

  “No, I didn’t,” he said defensively.

  “Baby, relax. It’s just Tony, my sister’s husband. Don’t let your mind wander off into something that ain’t an issue.” Their therapist had told them to confront any issues head-on. November was to bring it to Tracy’s attention when she felt he was seeing what he wanted to see and not what it really was.

  “Okay, baby, you’re right. I was trippin’, but I’m cool.”