Foolish

by Anna Black

  Tracy didn’t know what to do at the moment. He didn’t know if he should confront her and demand the truth or if he should get more evidence. He let his tears fall. What would possess November to do this? They had a four-month-old baby, and she was sleeping with another man?

  He turned on the water, splashed it in his face, and leaned against the sink. When he heard November call him, he dried his face, and he walked out to meet her.

  She had pulled out a tube of lipstick and her compact, and she began to apply the makeup. “I’m gonna run and get some takeout. I know you said you were good, but I’m hungry, baby.”

  He wondered why she was putting on lipstick to do that. “I’ll take you,” he volunteered.

  “Why? If you take me, we’ll have to take the kids.” She put her makeup back into her purse.

  “I don’t have a problem with taking the kids, so why do you?” he asked with attitude.

  “Because it is October, baby, and I don’t think we should take them out in the cold just to get something to eat.”

  “Well, they’ve got coats. Get Trinity, and I’ll get TJ, and we’ll all go.”

  November didn’t argue. When she came back downstairs, she had put the baby’s coat and hat on and bundled her in a pink blanket. He and TJ were already ready.

  They went to a Chinese restaurant, and on the way back, November reached over and grabbed his hand. He held it and rubbed her diamond. He wondered if she wore her rings when she was with her lovers or if she took them off. His eyes burned at the thought of her cheating on him, but he held his tears in.

  When they got home, they sat down to eat. Tracy barely touched his shrimp egg foo young. He nodded and gave her short answers because his mind was all over the place. Finally he trusted her and tried to live like a normal husband, and she’d been doing exactly what he’d expected she’d do.

  After they were done, he took the kids up, and November went up behind him. He put the baby in her crib and took TJ into the bathroom to give him a bath.

  “Tracy, are you okay, baby?” she asked.

  “Look, November, stop asking me if I’m okay. I said I’m fine.”

  “I know what you said, Trey, but I can tell something is bothering you. At dinner you were short, and you barely ate, and you won’t look me in the eyes. So spill, baby. What’s wrong?” she pressed.

  “I’m fine, November.” He continued to bathe his son, without looking in her direction. November stood there for a moment or two, and as she was getting ready to walk away, he spoke. “We are okay? I mean, if we weren’t okay, you would tell me, right?”

  “Yes, baby, everything is fine.”

  “You told me before, November, that you’d never lie to me and I trusted you. I want to trust you, but lately you’ve been acting strange,” he said.

  “Baby, I know, and I am sorry. I’ve just been under a little stress, but we’re fine.”

  “Well, what has you stressed out? Nothing’s different, so I’m not sure what could be bothering you.”

  “It’s just the change. Trinity is demanding, and TJ is into everything, so my days are full, but I’m okay.”

  “And you’re sure that we are okay? Aside from the children, Novey, are we okay? Because I feel like we aren’t okay. If the kids are too much, we can let Rose come back to help out,” he said, taking TJ out of the tub.

  “Yes, maybe Rose should come back and help out. But you and I are okay, babe. We are fine.”

  Tracy didn’t believe her. He knew what he heard, and he just wanted her to tell him the truth. He walked past her and took TJ into his room and put on his pajamas. He put on a movie for him and told him that he’d be back to tuck him in.

  He went down the hall and into their bedroom. November was in the bathroom. He sat on the bed wondering what he should say to her. He waited for her for a few minutes, and when she didn’t come out of the bathroom, he went downstairs and poured himself a drink. He would have to get proof because she wasn’t going to confess.

  Pain and disbelief ran through him, and he thought back to the day he had asked Kendell to seduce his wife. How foolish he had been to have a man go after his wife to see if she’d cheat on him. Strange. Back then, she didn’t cheat, but now, after things were better and perfect for them and their family, she decided to do it?

  Not knowing what to do, he closed his eyes and asked God to give him strength. He had to figure out what was really going on. Even though it would be painful, he would rather know than not know.

  Chapter Thirty-five

  A week had gone by, and November had stayed away from the construction site, trying to handle as much business over the phone as she could because Tracy was going into his jealous moods again. He called her every five minutes and checked on her fifteen times a day. The questioning at dinner was back, and she knew it was because of her sneaking around with her business project. She had to slow down before he figured out what she was doing.

  She finally had a completion date. In only three weeks, all of the madness would be over. She was excited and nervous because it was finally a dream come true for her, but she still had to convince Tracy. She still had to show him that she could do what she had set out to do. She wished he had been on board from the beginning, but he had forced her to do it on her own.

  She had reserved a room at the Hilton Garden Inn to do interviews. She couldn’t do them at the new office because it was still too chaotic. It was not a quiet place where she could talk to prospective employees.

  Her cell phone rang when was on the Dan Ryan. She cringed when she saw it was her husband. She hadn’t told him she’d be out that day and she knew she had to have a good excuse to be out of the house so early.

  “Hey, baby,” she said when she picked up.

  “Hey, you. Where are you? I called the house like three times.”

  “Oh, I’m on my way to the store,” she said, coming up with the first thing that came to mind.

  “Oh, yeah? Why so early?”

  “Well, I suddenly had a craving for bagels, so I decided to run out and get some. And some strawberry cream cheese,” she said, still lying.

  “Oh, yeah, bagels and cream cheese do sound good. How about I meet you at the house in about thirty minutes? I think I wanna take the day off and hang out with you.”

  November’s heart thumped. She had already dropped off the kids at her sister’s, and her first interview was in less than an hour. “Well, baby, I had other errands to run, and I am supposed to meet Angela today about noon downtown to have lunch with her. She has been trying to get with me for a few weeks, and I finally told her I’d do it today.” She hated lying to him.

  “Well, I would like for you to call Angela and tell her not today, because I want to be with you, Novey. It’s not often that I can free up some time and play hooky from work. Today, I have some free time, and I want to spend it with my wife.”

  “Listen, baby, I hear you. And I want to spend time with you, but I’ve been putting Angela off, and I’d hate to cancel on her.”

  “Oh, you’d rather disappoint your man than tell your girlfriend you can’t make it?”

  “Tracy, it’s not like that, baby.”

  “Oh? Well, tell me, November, what is it like, then? It is obvious that your plans are more important than me. Or are you on something else besides meeting your girlfriend?” he asked, and November knew where their conversation was going. She would just have to reschedule everything. She didn’t want to upset her husband.

  “Okay, baby,” she said. “Listen, having lunch with Angela is not important, okay? I am gonna call April and take the kids to her. I’ll meet you at the house in a little over an hour, okay? Just give me time to drop them off and go to the store, my love. Then I’m all yours.” She hoped she sounded convincing.

  “Okay, November, I’ll see you in a while. I love you.”

  “Okay, baby. I love you too,” she said and hung up.

  She dialed Kendell quickly. The kids were already droppe
d off, so she just had to get her interviews taken care of. When she got him on the phone, she begged him to go down and take care of them for her. At first, he said no, he couldn’t make it, but after she explained her dilemma with Tracy, he agreed to do it, and he told her she owed him big time.

  She got off the expressway and headed back toward her house. She stopped at the grocery store and got the items she told her husband she went out to get. She went home, and then she took off her suit. She had just washed the makeup off her face and was trying to look natural when he walked in the door.

  “Hey,” she said.

  Tracy looked at her suspiciously. “Hey,” he said and went over and kissed her. He held her for a moment, and she could feel him shaking.

  “Tracy, baby, what is it? What is bothering you? You’ve been acting so weird lately, baby. What’s up?”

  He looked at her for a moment or two before he spoke. “Tell me the truth, November. Are you having an affair?”

  She took a step back and put a hand to her chest. “No, Tracy, no,” she said.

  “November, don’t lie to me. I overheard you—” Her cell phone rang, and he stopped talking.

  From where it was on the counter, they could see Kendell’s name on the screen. November wanted to pass out. She stood there and watched it ring.

  “Answer it, November. Don’t mind me. I’m just your husband.” There was fire in his eyes.

  “Tracy, baby, it’s not what you think. It’s nothing like that, I promise.”

  “Then answer it, November!” he yelled. It stopped ringing. “You said you would never cheat on me, Novey, and I believed you. I’ve been trying to fix our marriage and get help for us, and then you do this.”

  “Tracy, baby, please. I’m not cheating on you. I’m not messing with Kendell.”

  “Then why in the hell are you talking to him, November? And Jonathan. Why is his number in your damn phone? Tell me that!”

  That caught her off guard. “Huh? What?” she asked. She wondered how he knew she had been talking to Jonathan too.

  “‘Huh? What?’ Don’t play games with me, November.” He walked over to his briefcase and pulled out some papers. “I went online and printed the bill, so don’t fucking lie to me.”

  “I can explain,” she said, stuttering.

  “Explain what, Novey? Which one are you fucking? Who were you on your way to fuck this morning, Jonathan or Kendell?” His nose flared and his fists were clenched.

  “Tracy, how can you say that to me? It’s nothing like you think, baby, I swear. I was going to tell you, but I wanted to surprise you. You’ve gotta believe me. Come on, baby, let’s sit down,” she said, trying to grab his hand.

  “Don’t touch me, November,” he said, yanking away from her. “You can’t sweet-talk me like you always do. You are a liar. I knew you were no different from Treva. I knew you’d do the same thing.” He threw the cell phone bill at her. “And I got your hotel confirmation from your e-mail, too.” He went back to his briefcase, took more papers out, and threw them at her too.

  He had been going into her e-mail? “Tracy, it was for—”

  Tracy sprinted up the steps. She followed him, and he rushed into their guest room and emerged with a suitcase.

  “Tracy, are you serious?” she cried, but he walked right past her into the bedroom and tossed the suitcase onto the bed. He unzipped it and flipped it open. She stood there trembling, and he went into the closet. He took things out of the closet to pack.

  “Tracy, what are you doing? Aren’t you gonna hear me out? Let me explain and tell you what’s going on.”

  “I don’t care, Novey. I don’t want to hear shit. You can save your lies because I’m not interested.” He threw his things in the suitcase, and after two more trips, he zipped it shut and picked it up.

  “It’s for my business, okay? I was trying to start a business!” she yelled. Tracy paused on his way to the door, and she continued. “I wanted to surprise you. Kendell has been helping me with my advertisement business, and Jonathan has been my Realtor. I swear. Please, baby, don’t leave. Please. That’s the truth, Tracy. I swear that’s what all of this is about,” she said, crying. “Just please don’t leave. I know I should have told you sooner, but I wanted to surprise you. Please.”

  “Advertisement?” He raised an eyebrow. “You’re going behind my back to build a business?”

  “Yes, Tracy, that is my big secret, okay? I know how you felt about me going into business for myself and I just wanted to show you I can do it. That’s all, baby. That is it. I am supposed to open in three weeks. Today, I was supposed to hold interviews for my new staff at the Hilton. I wasn’t meeting nobody, baby, not like that. I just wanted to show you I could have a business and still take care of you and the kids. I didn’t wanna do this behind your back, Tracy, but you were so adamant and so negative. You never considered me and what I wanted. You never supported me on something you knew from the day we met I wanted to do.”

  “So you go behind my back and think that it would go over smoother if you were already in business, November?” He set his bag down. “How could you keep something like this from me? No way I’d let Kendell and Jonathan do for you what I should have been doing for you. How could you go into something so major without discussing it with me, November? If I had known that you were this sincere and serious, do you honestly think I wouldn’t have helped you?”

  Her mouth dropped open. He had always been so negative. Every time she brought it up, he’d change the subject or refuse to discuss it. If she had thought he’d help her, she never would have gone behind his back.

  “I honestly don’t believe you would have helped me, Tracy. I’ve known for a long time how you feel about this. I didn’t want to come to you again and have you shoot me down like you’ve done in the past. You’ve never shown interest in me going into business for myself. You always gave me the ‘you should be happy here at home taking care of me and the kids’ speech, so I had to step out there on my own, Tracy. Trust me, it was a difficult decision for me to do it, but I had to.”

  “Baby, do you know how much I love you? Do you know how important your happiness is to me? Even if I had been resistant and gone into this kicking and screaming, I would have done it for you, November. I’m your husband. You cannot make decisions like this without me. You were so set on what you wanted that you put your needs before our marriage. That is what I’m angry about right now.” He turned and walked out of the bedroom and went downstairs.

  November didn’t go after him. She decided to let him have a moment before she said anything else to him. When she finally went down, she was relieved that he hadn’t left.

  “Listen, I know you are upset, Tracy, and I know that you are not just gonna get over this in a few moments, but I want to tell you I’m sorry for lying to you. I know I should have told you, but I was scared. I am sorry.”

  He didn’t say anything at first. “Just leave me alone for a while, please,” he said.

  She went back upstairs. She didn’t know what to think, and she didn’t know what else to say. A few minutes later, Tracy came up and handed her cell phone to her. She had another missed call from Kendell. Tracy walked out of the room, and she called Kendell back. She might as well, since things couldn’t get any worse.

  Kendell told her the interviews went well and he had scheduled second interviews for the candidates she might like. She thanked him for helping her out on such short notice. They talked for a few moments, and she broke down and told him what had happened with her and Tracy.

  After she was done, she went downstairs. Tracy was gone. She looked in the garage and saw his truck was gone. She called him, and it went straight to voice mail. She didn’t want to cry, but tears burned her eyes. She was right back at square one with her husband. All the progress they had made was for nothing. She may have ruined her marriage behind a stupid business.

  Chapter Thirty-six

  “I don’t know, Doc,” Tracy said.

/>   “You have to know, Tracy,” Dr. Warner said. “You’ve been gone almost a week. You have to have an idea of what you want,” he told him.

  Tracy had pulled another disappearing act on November. He had been so mad when he found out about her secret business that he had just gotten into his truck and left. He checked into a hotel and planned to go home the next day, but when he called November, they argued about him not coming home. It had blown up so bad that he didn’t go home another night. Those two nights turned into three, and three into four. He didn’t want to spend a fifth night without her.

  “I know what I want, Doc, but will it guarantee that I can be stable and trust her? I mean, the last thing I want is to not be with her. I love her. I miss her, and I miss my kids. My life is empty without them, and to start over is not an option. I love November too much.”

  “Well, then, you know the answer, Tracy.” The psychologist wrote something down on his notepad.

  “I know, but I’m scared.”

  “Look, we’ve talked about fears and realities. The reality is life is going to go on. You will have good days and bad days. Living in fear doesn’t control the outcome. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen, Tracy. Nothing is guaranteed. Life is always going to throw us a couple curveballs. It’s full of what-ifs and uncertainties, but do you give up and let fear consume you?”

  Tracy remained silent.

  “No. You deal with the bad and enjoy the good, and overall, the good outweighs the bad. You have to relax your mind and take one second, one minute, one hour, and one day at a time. Your marriage is going to take work, trust, patience, support, understanding, and a million other sacrifices from you and your wife. If I could just write a prescription for life, I would be out of a job because everyone’s problems would be solved. All I can do is advise you and give you the tools to fight another day.

  “You are a man with a family and the choice is yours. You can either continue to stay away and never go back, or you can go home, hold your wife, and tell her you love her no matter what. Support her in whatever she decides, and even if it doesn’t work out, you be there for her and help her get through it. If it’s a success, you celebrate with her and tell her, ‘Good job.’ Either way, you have to be there for not only her, but your two children. Taking it one day at a time.”