Never Say Goodbye

by T. Renee Fike

  “Sup biatch,” I hear from an excited Sophie. She comes up and gives me a hug.

  “Hey. Where the hell have you been?”

  “Ugh, don’t ask. Doesn’t matter now, I’m here so let’s party!” she yells and people start to cheer.

  We head to the dance floor and are joined by Brynn, Megan, and some sorority girls. There are a few guys on the floor too. We start belting out the words to Katy Perry’s Roar, while laughing and having a good time.

  I have no idea how much later it is, but Brynn is pulling on my arm telling me it’s time for cake. Who eats cake at a party where you’re drinking? I don’t say anything though, and let her lead the way.

  Sophie and Brynn are on each side of me and tell me that we are celebrating Wolffe’s birthday too, but I have yet to meet him. Before I have time to think about it, two sorority girls are carrying out a cake full of burning candles. I only turned nineteen, what the hell?

  Chad is standing beside someone; I’m guessing Wolffe and motions for him to blow out the candles with me. So we stand, side-by-side and wait until the mass of people stop singing Happy Birthday so we can blow out our candles and continue on with our night.

  That’s exactly what we do. We blow the candles out and Brynn’s beside me in seconds. She introduces me to Wolffe and then runs off to get plates.

  I stare at him, not believing my eyes. I’m looking in the eyes of my childhood best friend, Nathan, yet he’s looking at me like I have two heads.

  “Do I know you?” he says looking confused.

  I can’t even comprehend words right now, I’m speechless.

  “Are you a fan?” he says looking more confused.

  “No, I squeak out,” and before I have a chance to say anything else, a girl comes up to him.

  “Hey baby, you ready to go, this party is lame,” she says in a squeaky tone.

  “We can’t leave yet,” he says as he walks away with her. I can hear her bitching at him, and yet here I stand, immobile, not believing my eyes. Did he not recognize me? I mean it was almost ten years ago but still, how do you forget someone you were best friends with?

  “Hey, whatcha staring at?” Brynn asks as she stands beside me.

  Before she can say another word, I grab her by the arm and drag her to the first open bedroom I see. I walk us in and slam the door, not believing who the hell I just saw.

  “Seriously Liv, what’s wrong?” she says looking worried.

  “Wolffe, that’s what’s wrong,” I spat out, not believing my eyes.

  “Isn’t he hot? Did you guys hit it off? He’s great right?” Brynn keeps talking oblivious to my facial expressions.

  “Brynn STOP,” I yell, hoping she will stop with the questions.

  “What’s wrong? Did he say something rude?” She asks.

  “Why didn’t you tell me who he was?” I ask angrily.

  “What in the hell are you talking about?” she asks looking confused.

  “Brynn…that’s Nathan Wolffe,” I say his name slowly, hoping she picks up on it.

  “Yeah I know, what’s the big deal?”

  “Nathan Wolffe, you know Nathan Wolffe as in my best friend growing up before he moved to Michigan,” I state intently.

  The look on Brynn’s face is pure shock. Clearly, she didn’t know it was my Nathan, but damn it doesn’t make it any easier seeing him.

  “Liv, I swear I didn’t realize it. How the hell did I not put two and two together? Ugh, I’m so dense sometimes,” she says apologetically.

  “I thought you knew and just didn’t want to tell me, don’t worry about it,” I say, frustrated.

  “Did he recognize you?” she asks curiously.

  “Nope, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t remember me,” I tell her sadly.

  “Awe Liv, I’m sorry, maybe if you talk to him, he’ll remember,” she suggests.

  “No, he’s probably nothing like I remember anyway, that was years ago.”

  “You guys have a lot in common, I told you this already,” she says, “even your damn birthday cake flavors are the same,” she says smiling.

  “Who doesn’t like strawberry torte? It’s a white cake, with the strawberry filling, with vanilla crème, topped with buttercream icing and fresh strawberries on top, I could live on that shit,” I say smiling.

  “I know you could,” she says with a laugh, “let’s go back out to the party,” she says heading towards the door.

  “Brynn, promise me you won’t say anything to him about knowing me years ago,” I tell her before she opens the door.

  “I won’t say anything, I swear,” she says before giving me a hug.

  We head back out to the party. I see a glimpse of Nathan thru the mass of people milling about. I still cannot believe it’s him.

  Nathan, my best friend through childhood has grown into a man who looks like sex on a freaking stick. He’s probably the hottest guy I’ve seen in, well, ever. That’s saying a lot because Ryan was good looking and so is Levi, but they’ve got nothing on Nathan.

  Who would have thought that my Nathan would look like a sex god? And all he has on is jeans, a tee-shirt, and a backwards cap. His eyes are the bluest freaking eyes I’ve ever seen. Obviously, I got lost in them while staring at him. I’ve always loved his eyes, even growing up I was jealous of his eye color.

  Nathan is around 6’3” with sleek muscles, basketball and working out definitely helped him with those, his jeans are sitting low like the first time I saw him, and they hug his ass just right. But it’s the blue shirt he’s wearing that makes his eyes stand out even more; that’s what made me realize who he was, but damn, how I’ve missed him. I didn’t realize how much until just now.

  Where would we be if he never moved? Would I have fallen in love with him? I mean, I know I loved him growing up, but we were inseparable and we were kids. How can he not recognize me?

  I glance around the party again and connect eyes with Nathan, but as soon as our eyes lock he looks away. I know he has to know it’s me. You don’t forget someone that was such a huge part of your life, do you?

  That’s the last I see of Nathan through the rest of the night. I dance and party with the girls along with Chad and Levi, before we decide to call it a night.

  I say goodnight to my best friend, who’s spending the night at Chad’s and leave with Levi, who’s staying at my dorm tonight.

  I’m entitled to birthday sex, so don’t judge me. This friend with benefits thing is working out a lot better than I expected.

  We barely make it into my room before we start ripping each other’s clothes off. I’m tipsy, but not drunk, thank goodness because I want to enjoy this night.

  “Happy Birthday Liv,” Levi says before ripping my panties from my body and rubbing his fingers through my folds. I’m already wet and ready for him, but he seems to want to take his time.

  “Thanks,” I say through breaths. He has me standing against the wall as he completely undresses me and himself.

  Before I can say anything, he’s on his knees and licking at my core. I’m leaning back on the wall, thankful for the support because he’s not letting up any time soon. He grabs my left leg and props it over his shoulder, while holding my body in place.

  I grab onto his hair with one hand and keep my other hand on the wall, still using it as support. His one hand moves up and starts to twist my nipple causing me to moan.

  He has me going crazy, I want him inside of me, but damn this feels so good. I start to move with him and can’t seem to get enough.

  Then I feel him thrust his fingers inside of me, making me cry out in pleasure. He starts moving at a faster pace all the while continuing to torture me with his tongue.

  He thrusts and sucks and before I know it I’m crying out in pure bliss. Once I come down from ecstasy, Levi stands up, puts a condom on quickly and picks me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and he thrusts into me against the wall.

  The wall is cold and feels good against my slicked skin. I hold on for dear
life and let him continue to fuck me like I’ve never been fucked before. He has me moving in directions trying to keep up with his speed until we are both calling out one another’s names.

  Once I catch my breath I tell him, “You better be ready for more, because I’m still horny,” I say with a smug look.

  “Shit, I’m always ready for more,” he says with a sexy smile.

  He disposes of the condom in the bathroom as I fall comfortably on my bed. I feel myself start to doze off while I wait for him to return.

  “Liv, how can you tell me you’re still horny, yet look like you’re about to pass out?” he says with a look.

  “You’re taking too long,” I whine.

  He crawls on top of my body and starts to wake me up by kissing me everywhere. When he takes my nipple into his mouth he has my body jerking for more. I grab his head wanting him to take more of me into his mouth.

  “You like that huh?” he asks already knowing the answer.

  I give him a nod along with a moan, and then feel his fingers enter me again. His palm starts rubbing my sensitive spot while he teases me with his fingers. This man is incredible; he’s touching me and making me realize what I enjoy most during sex. This will definitely come in handy in the future.

  When he starts thrusting his fingers inside of me, I decide to put on a little show for him too. I slowly take my hands and caress my breasts before dipping my one hand lower to my sacred spot. He leans back to watch me, while his fingers continue to fuck me.

  I start to rub my sensitive spot, along with his fingers cause me to moan. His thrusts start getting faster so I start to move my fingers faster. My one hand is pulling and twisting on my nipple while the other is working faster on my sensitive spot.

  I can feel my body beginning to build. Levi doesn’t let up, and then that’s when I feel his tongue touch me. My body almost convulses off the bed. He starts to bite at my core while I try to rub myself faster and faster. He doesn’t let up and soon I’m screaming out in pure ecstasy.

  “Damn princess, that was hot as fuck,” he says with hooded eyes.

  “Levi, I need you to fuck me hard,” I say, ready to pounce on him.

  He goes to grab a condom and I decide I want to take control. I push him over to lie on his back. I take the condom from his hands and slide it over his erection. I straddle his body and slide myself down his length riding him. I start a rhythm and he thrusts inside of me causing me to moan.

  “Liv, whatever you do, don’t stop. Shit, your pussy feels so good,” he says as he holds onto my hips to guide me how he likes it.

  I don’t stop, I continue to bounce up and down on him until he’s cursing and calling out my name.

  He doesn’t let me go; he continues to move my hips up and down on his still hard erection, while he sucks one of my nipples into his mouth. I continue my movement, and he moves a hand and starts to rub my core.

  I know I’m close and I continue to ride him hard, until he’s cursing some more, and me, screaming out his name.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The next few weeks fly by. I haven’t run into Nathan at all. I want to say something to him, but I’ll cross that bridge when I see him. I just hope it’s before the semester ends.

  I see Levi a couple times a week, the friends with benefits thing is really working. I must say I’m a lot less stressed.

  Brynn keeps telling me not to fall for him, but that’s just it, I don’t feel that way for Levi. It’s purely sex, and great sex it is.

  Finals are next week, so I’m busy with studying, taking notes and reading them. I’m trying to finish out my first year of college with good grades.

  Morning comes quick. I rush around to get ready for a day of classes and more work. As I’m rushing towards the door, Brynn stops me.

  “What do you want to do tonight bestie?” she says with a smile.

  “Sorry B can’t, I need to go to the library after my last class to work on a paper,” I tell her quickly.

  “Do you plan on staying at the library all night?” she asks curiously.

  “No, I don’t plan on staying all night, but I have another project I need to finish by tomorrow, so tonight is my night to buckle down and get it all done,” I tell her as I open our bedroom door.

  “Ugh, you’re no fun,” she whines.

  “Sorry, have a good day,” I tell her as I shut the door and head in the direction of my morning class.

  Classes go by without any issues but now it’s time to get to the library and get this research done. I will be happy when this semester is over.

  As I make my way across the campus towards the library, I get sidetracked. I’m not sure who I’m looking for, but I swear I hear my name. As I continue to walk towards the library while looking around, I run into the back of someone.

  That’s what I get for not paying attention.

  “I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going,” I apologize quickly.

  When the victim of my rundown turns, I can only believe this is my luck. Nathan turns around and faces me.

  “Don’t worry about it. Next time, just watch where you’re going,” he says in a slightly ignorant tone.

  “Can I talk to you for a minute?” I ask, hoping to see if he is still the same boy I remember.

  “As far as I can tell, you’re already talking,” he says rudely.

  “Do you remember me?” I ask, looking intently at him.

  “Excuse me? How would I know you?” he says staring at me like I’m nuts.

  I just look at him, shocked and speechless. Here, I never once forgot about him and he looks like he can’t wait to get away from me. ME.

  Before I say anything he starts talking, he lets out a frustrated sign, “Yes O, I do remember you, but that was a long time ago. You don’t know me or anything about me now,” he states surprising me.

  “Why are you being so rude?” I ask confused and hurt, because it’s been so long since I’ve heard him call me by the nickname O, the one he gave to me when we were kids.

  “I’m not, I just don’t want anything to do with you,” he says looking intently at me.

  “Why not?” I can’t believe he’s being this mean, this guy, one I freaking would have done anything for, and here he is being rude and wants nothing to do with me. What the hell did I do to him?

  “Like I said, I’m not that stupid little boy anymore. We know nothing about one another and I don’t want to know you. Stay away from me,” he says harshly.

  I feel like I want to cry, but I won’t do that in front of him. Instead I look him dead in the eyes, “You grew up and became an asshole,” and then I storm off towards the library, never looking back.

  I have no idea how I’m going to focus on a freaking research paper, when all I keep thinking about is what went wrong with my friendship with Nathan, and why does he hate me?

  It’s been ten years, what could have possibly happened in ten years for him to want nothing to do with me?

  After about thirty minutes, I’m able to put my conversation with Nathan out of my mind and concentrate on my paper. I get the research done and get my paper written in silence before heading back to the dorm to work on my next project.

  I decide to grab something to eat on the way back to the dorm, and run into the local pizzeria to order a sub before heading back to work on my next assignment.

  Unfortunately, luck doesn’t seem to be on my side because the first person I see when I walk into the pizzeria is Nathan. We make eye contact, but I quickly look away.

  I walk up to the counter, order my sub, and wait patiently for it so I can leave. It takes about five minutes for me to get my supper. I grab my sub, thank the employee and head out the door as fast as I can.

  How can it be that for weeks I never see Nathan and today I see him twice? Ugh, damn him. He’s gorgeous, but now an ass. I hope Nevin isn’t like his brother, too bad for me I’ll probably never find out.

  When I get back to the dorm I scarf down h
alf of my sub and then dive right into my project. I get all my work done and when I look at the clock, I see it’s already 10 p.m. I decide to wash up and get ready for bed, hopefully tomorrow will be better than today. I pray I don’t see Nathan again.

  Luckily the rest of the week, there’s no sight of Nathan and life has gotten back to normal. Finals are almost here, but I’m done stressing over them.

  I get back to my routine of seeing Levi, hanging out with Brynn, as well as Sophie and Megan.

  Brynn and I have decided we are going to be moving back to campus during July, to move into the sorority house. We already got it approved by the girls, which I know Brynn is ecstatic because Chad is staying in his house on campus. This way she will be able to see him more once we come back.

  Sophie told me she is coming back around the same time we are so that will give me someone to hang out with. Plus, if I’m still doing the friends with benefits thing with Levi, he lives here, so that could work too.

  I’m not putting faith into that because, well he’s a guy and I’ll be gone for a month and a half, and he’s not one to wait around. Not that I even want him to.

  I decide to throw myself into another workout; I need to get back into shape.

  I head into the gym, this time remembering my water. I put my iPod on, start the treadmill and off I go.

  I don’t push myself too hard today like last time. I stop myself around two miles, drink my water, and start to stretch before leaving.

  “Hey Liv,” I hear and look up to see Chad standing there.

  “Hey.”

  “I didn’t know you worked out,” he says surprised.

  “I’m not here that often, but I needed a good run,” I tell him, while continuing to stretch.

  “Look, I’m sorry about Wolffe,” Chad says looking solemn.

  “No need to apologize, he is who he is,” I retort.

  “I know, but I told you he would be cool as shit, and well yeah, it seems I was wrong,” he says with a sad smile, “It’s really unlike him, he’s usually laid back and chill, but when either myself or Brynn mentions your name now he gets so defensive.”