Angel of Mine

by Jessica Louise

  Lifting up that extra distance, I swipe my tongue over his tempting lips, just for a small taste. His pupils dilate so much they almost cover his whole eyes, pure molten black scorching my skin, eating me alive with his look alone.

  His lips press into mine; devouring me like he can’t get close enough. Demanding yet slow, taking his time exploring every inch of my mouth. When he pulls away, he is breathless and I am left panting for more.

  I’m briefly disappointed as he places me down on the chair in front of his dresser and moves away from me, but not for long when he comes back with a jewellery box in his hands.

  There’s a mischievous gleam in his eyes and that green colour I love is back, twinkling and lighting up his face. Perfect white teeth show through a gorgeous smile, and he opens the lid to present the most exquisite necklace I have ever seen.

  A purple stone sits in an intricate setting of silver woven all around it in an old fashioned but timeless way. It takes my breath away. Rustic, just my style, it’s perfect.

  He turns me to face the mirror and drapes it carefully around my neck, then does up the clasp. “The stone is Amethyst,” he tells me as I run my fingers over it. The weight of it sits just beneath that little hollow and it feels cool against my skin. As I admire my reflection in the mirror, the purple crystal sparkles back at me, the facets glinting in the light.

  “I was told it has healing powers.” His hands graze along my collarbone, leaving a heated trail; he meets my eyes in the glass. “I never used to believe in miracles Ally. Then I met you. Now it’s like a new one is revealed before my eyes every minute of every day.”

  My eyes glaze over at his heartfelt words, but I stare back, refusing to break the connection. “Happy birthday angel, never give up hope.” Then he leans down ever so slightly, lips lingering over the side of my neck and heating my skin. He brushes my hair away and kisses me tenderly. Then he envelops me in his arms, closes his eyes, and just holds me as if I am more precious than the magnificent gem that I now wear.

  “It’s stunning. Thank you,” I continue to stare at my reflection, transfixed by the beauty of it.

  “Not as beautiful as the person who wears it.” Sincerity fills his words and I melt and look up at him. A serious face stares back at me. “I couldn’t find a piece of jewellery exquisite enough to match your beauty. I don’t think such a piece exists. I’m glad you like it.”

  Okay, he isn’t LIKE a man out of a romance novel or book, I think he actually IS one. No, seriously, he must have jumped right out of the pages or through the screen and this is some sort of parallel universe.

  “My teeth are starting to hurt you’re so damn sweet,” I joke. “I totally love it though, my boyfriend is adorable.”

  He smirks down at me. “I think the words you are looking for are sexy and charming, not adorable, it sounds too cute for a guy. Don’t forget muscular, great smile, good kisser...”

  What an ego, I smack him playfully on the butt to bring him down a peg or two, and can’t help but cop a feel while I’m there.

  “Don’t get too carried away babe, we have places to go today. I have a surprise for you.” Now he has my attention back, I sit up straighter as he removes my groping hand from his behind.

  He captures both my shoulders in his hands and squeezes lightly before continuing. “When I was sick I tried to live every day like it was my last. I want you to experience as much as you can in life. I want to fill your days with enough joy to last fifty life times. Everything you want out of life I want you to write it down, and we will do it. Think of what you would want if time weren’t an issue. Today I’m going to kick things off for you.” He pauses for dramatic effect. When I get antsy in anticipation, he finally replies. “We are going bungee jumping.” My mouth drops in shock. I thought going to a park was exciting once upon a time; look at where my life has led me now. I think I might wet my pants, but I’m not sure just yet if it is in excitement or fear. At least he said ‘we.’ While Theo is with me, I can do anything.

  The instructor has strapped Theo and me together and he holds my quivering frame against his firm body. He feels safe and I try to relax into him. Everything will be okay, I trust him. Deep breaths, in and out, in and out.

  This is something I want to experience, and it’s good we are able to do a tandem jump because there is no way I can step off that ledge by myself. It’s another opportunity I don’t want to let go to waste.

  Theo’s warm breaths tickle my neck and mix with his sweet words. He whispers in my ear and it helps to calm my nerves. “You’re so brave Ally, you can do this. I believe in you.”

  The rope around my waist is thick. The coarse material runs through my hand. I tug on it to double check it’s on tight, and then brace myself. “Okay, let’s do this.”

  A surprising calm takes over me as we step up to the ledge and I peek over at the jagged rocks scattered throughout the raging river below. My heart beats evenly. I expected it to be going a million miles a minute by now. Sweat coats my palms though, and I freeze up. Maybe that’s why my heartbeat is slow, it’s about to freeze up too. It’s almost literally scared to death, and shrinking in my chest, trying to cower away from this crazy idea. Blip, blip, blip.

  “On three okay angel? 1, 2...” Then he steps over the edge for both of us, “Threeeeeeee.” His words get lost in the rush of air. Suddenly we are free falling. The wind speeds past us, around us, and it feels like through us too. My body presses against Theo’s making me feel protected, even though the danger below is coming closer at a rapid pace.

  The skin on my face is pulled backwards with the gravity, making my mouth huge and my eyes wide, regardless of the dorky goggles I wear. Despite all this, I feel exhilarated, alive. Theo knew exactly what I needed, and I love him all the more for it.

  “Wooooohooooooooo,” I love the sting the effort of this scream causes my lungs, making me feel the moment even more. My hands dip into the water before we snap back up.

  Eventually we come to a stop, and they pull us back up to the top. Full of adrenalin, I bounce up and down on my feet as we walk off the platform and back onto solid ground. “That was amazing. What a rush.” My smile is so wide my face hurts, and I press my hands up to my cheeks, rubbing them a moment.

  I really want to do that again. “What’s next?” I ask. “Jumping out of a plane? Rock climbing?”

  Theo chuckles at my eagerness and draws me into his side for a hug. “Look at you my little fearless warrior. Write it all down for me and we will do it, but for now, I have another surprise.”

  Best birthday ever. I clap my hands with glee and try to suppress giggling like a schoolgirl. After all, I am eighteen now.

  “So where to now?” The curiosity is killing me.

  “Not a chance sweetheart. I told you, it’s a surprise.” A mischievous grin comes over his face and he reaches over to the glove compartment and pulls out a scarf. “In fact, I’m going to blindfold you.” A glint of amusement flickers through his eyes. He is enjoying this way too much, but that’s okay because I am too.

  The smooth silky material covers my eyes, and if I leave them open, all I see is lime green. We go through a drive-thru somewhere nearby because I hear Theo order me a burger and fries and the unmistakable smell of delicious greasy take out fills my nose.

  The wrapper from the burger crinkles as he pulls it back and passes it to me. “Can I take off my blindfold while I eat? I can’t see what I’m doing.” The anticipation of where we are going is making me crazy, maybe if I can coax him into letting me take off the blindfold I will get a clue.

  “Your gorgeous mouth is in the exact same spot as always, you don’t need to see.” Damn. Was worth a shot. “I’m sure you will survive, I wouldn’t want to go ruining the surprise now, would I?”

  I can hear his grin through his words. “You are enjoying watching me squirm aren’t you?”

  “You know it,” he laughs aloud this time.

  “Humph.” I huff in mock annoyance, but sec
retly love it. Melted cheesy goodness fills my mouth as I sink my teeth into my burger. Unfortunately, sauce also drips down my chin. Superb. It’s tricky not to make a mess when eating while blindfolded.

  Theo wipes away the sauce with his finger and presses it to my lips. I swipe my tongue across the tip to lick it off. He groans audibly beside me, and in my good mood, I become a little daring and suck lightly on his finger. He pulls it out of my mouth and I hear him shift in his seat. “Now who’s making who squirm?” He chuckles.

  After we finish eating, he holds my hand in his, occasionally pulling it away to change gears and after about twenty minutes, he finally stops the car and guides me to my destination.

  A bell jangles above as we go through a door and I hear soft music and voices around me, and I think a hairdryer. He takes the blindfold off and I’m in the middle of a day spa. Excitement flutters in my stomach and I smile wide. This day is making me feel giddy.

  “I wanted to have you pampered and feeling like a princess for your birthday. I’m going to leave you in the spa’s capable hands and duck out to do a few things, and then come back for you.” He places his hand on my lower back and guides me to the counter.

  Is it vain of me in this moment to wonder if I will have to have chemo and lose my hair? I should have bigger concerns, but being here makes the thought flash across my mind. It only stays for an instant though before my focus moves to somewhere else.

  “Hi. I booked an appointment for Ally Chambers, 1:00. “

  The lady behind the desk smiles warmly and looks down at her bookings. “Hi, yes here it is. Welcome, my name is Emily, come on through and take a seat.”

  Theo walks me over and makes sure I’m comfortable before turning back to Emily. “I want her to be treated like a princess; no expense is to be spared. Money is not an issue. Hair, facial, manicure, pedicure, I’d like her to have the works; whatever her heart desires.” I sigh and stare dreamily up at the wonderful man taking care of me. I feel like a temporary princess, but he is a prince all the time, my knight in shining armour. I was supposed to be rescuing him.

  “Have a good time Ally. I’ll be back in a few hours.” He kisses me on the forehead and walks away. As the front door swings shut, I’m left here in his wake, sitting and fantasizing about him swooping in to save me on a white horse. Day dreams of happily ever after in a beautiful castle filling my head.

  Carol is leaning against a pole by the donut shop in the centre of the mall where we agreed to meet. Phone in hand, looking intently at the screen, she doesn’t see me approach.

  Loud screams come from a little boy trying to drag his mother towards the donut shop, and I walk the long way around a juice bar to avoid them. Can’t say I blame the little tyke much, the cinnamon scent wafting up from the donuts is delicious.

  As I reach Carol, I clear my throat and she looks up putting her phone into her handbag. “Hey. Did you and Ally have fun this morning?” I pull her in briefly for a hug. We have gotten a lot closer since her and Ally moved in. Certain situations cause you to build a bond at a much quicker rate than usual.

  “I’ll let Ally fill you in over dinner. It should give you two something interesting to talk about.” I’m smiling like a goofball at one of my now most perfect memories and Carol raises an eyebrow at me in question. Uh oh, I guess she could interpret that the wrong way.

  “Let’s just say that I’m helping her live life to the fullest, and she is going to have a lot of interesting tales to tell from now on.” Before she can press the issue any further, I motion with my hand in front of me. “Shall we go?”

  Carol and I are shopping for a new outfit for Ally to wear after her pampering session today. The two of them are going out to dinner for some mother/daughter bonding time.

  She drops the topic for now, but still looks curious. “Let’s go, I found a dress I know she will love at a store by the cinemas.” Glad she has already found a suitable dress, I follow her to the store, and we are in and out in ten minutes.

  Dress shopping isn’t really my thing, I mean I love Ally and would dress shop for her to make her happy, however I am a guy, and the less time spent in dress shops the better. Especially when I don’t get to see Ally model them for me. That’s half the fun in shopping for your girl right? That and making her happy.

  We go to a coffee shop to kill some time while waiting for Ally. “So what exactly do you mean by showing my daughter how to live life to the fullest?” Great, now that she says it back to me it doesn’t sound like I have the best intentions.

  “I meant giving her once in a life time experiences, I took her to do something on my own bucket list this morning to get her started.” I cringe at the words bucket list, it’s associated with death, and I have to keep telling myself that Ally is going to make it.

  “One thing I came to realize when I was sick was that you see and feel everything more. When you have experienced immense pain in your life, you are easily able to find great beauty in everything. It’s overwhelming at times.” Bearing my soul is not easy but it’s important to me that Carol knows I’m looking after her daughter. I fidget as I try to come up with the right words to convey how I feel.

  “I want Ally to be deeply moved by everything life has to offer, I don’t want her to feel like she has missed a thing. Every little thing needs to matter, and I plan on making everything count as an amazing experience for her.” Carol tilts her head to the side and studies me as she contemplates what I have just said.

  “You seem so much older and wiser than your twenty years. It must be because of all the things you have experienced in your lifetime. Ally has always viewed the world differently though, I have a feeling she has seen things this way for a long time.”

  She’s right; Ally is the most remarkable person I have ever met. “Ally is one of a kind, I feel privileged to have her in my life.”

  A slight frown creases Carol’s face and her shoulders drop. “You know Ally’s father left just after she was born, and he hasn’t seen her again since. I couldn’t imagine living without her in my life, knowing she was out there somewhere.” Melancholy fills her words and her eyes glaze over and become distant.

  “You have always been there for her though, and you are enough. Ally turned out perfect.” In an effort to comfort her, I reach out and place my hands over hers. I just hope that the aggravation I am starting to feel for Ally’s father does not shine through and affect Carol further. How could he not want to know his own daughter?

  “I’m going to try and track him down.” My head snaps up to look at her. Does this jerk really deserve the chance to know Ally after he deserted her? “I want Ally to have the opportunity to meet him. He must care in some way because he has placed money in my account every month since the day he left.”

  If I reply, I might say something I regret, so I bite down on the inside of my lip to prevent myself from speaking and nod my head. This jackass better not hurt Ally or he will have to answer to me. “I’ve got a few leads so hopefully I will be able to find him.” We finish the last few mouthfuls of our coffee in silence, reflecting on our thoughts.

  Carol must really hate me for all that Ally is going through. I have no idea why she isn’t treating me with complete disdain. It has been weighing on my mind, but I’m not sure how to go about apologising for her daughter taking my leukaemia. I feel like the scum of the earth, even though I wasn’t aware she was doing it. If I hate myself, surely she must hate me too.

  I pass my empty coffee cup back and forth between my hands. “Penny for your thoughts?” She asks.

  Unable to look up at her I stare at the cup in my hands with an utter self-loathing. I’ve been avoiding this subject with her. Our only interactions have been small pleasantries at the house. I need to clear the air though, and let her know how truly sorry I am for what has happened.

  “Do you hate me? If it wasn’t for me...,” I trail off. This line of thought hurts too much. To have to watch Ally suffer is awful. To know that I caused the pa
in makes me want to hurt myself. That would be taking the easy way out, so I need to stay by her side and help her through.

  Carol takes the cup out of my hands and places it down on the table. “Theo, I want you to listen to me very carefully.” I look up into her concerned face and feel surprised by the compassion I see there. She doesn’t break eye contact once as she tells me, “I know my daughter, and she is stubborn. If she wanted to find a way to heal you, there is no way you could have stopped her. And she undeniably wanted to heal you. Ally heals complete strangers without blinking an eye. She loves you, so of course she would have found a way. You need to stop beating yourself up over this Theo. Unfortunately, in this case, the saying ‘life’s too short’ has never been more true.”

  She is right. It’s the very same reason I didn’t waste time being angry with Ally for healing me. I didn’t want to waste time on getting upset with her for what she had done. It was already too late to change anything. Our time is better off concentrating on getting her better, and making happy memories.

  I nod my head to agree with her. “I know, but just so you’re aware, I did everything in my power to stop her. I didn’t know what she had done until it was too late.”

  She narrows her eyes at me and reaffirms in a stern voice, “Theo I told you to stop beating yourself up and I meant it.” I’m grateful for her understanding, no matter what she says, it’s more then I deserve.

  “Now come on, let’s go check on Ally. I want to see my baby enjoying herself on her birthday while she gets pampered.” I happily agree. As Alex would say, I’m ‘totally whipped,’ because I miss her like crazy already.