Heart of the Music (Saints & Sinners #1)

by Kaithlin Shepherd

  Once they were both back into the real world, their bodies down from their highs, he kissed her briefly. “What do you say we get cleaned up and go for a walk before dinner?” he asked her as he helped her down from the counter.

  “That sounds perfect,” she told him honestly.

  They showered together, and she loved how he took his time washing her body like she was a precious gift. She had never had someone wash her hair before Jarrod, but she’d since become an addict. She was going to have to find a way to get him to do that more often, because it felt incredible. After their shower, they dressed in comfortable clothes, filled up their water bottles, and headed outside. It was one of the other things she loved about her property. She could walk out her front door and enjoy the beauty of nature, using the trail that connected to the forest behind her house.

  “This feels normal,” she finally said after a few moments of them walking in comfortable silence. When he didn’t say anything right away, she looked at him, and found him staring at her, smiling.

  “It feels right, baby.” He took her hand in his, leading her down the trail. The further they walked, the more the reality of what Monday would bring became a distant concern, and she was more than happy for it to stay that way.

  Chapter Seven

  2 years ago

  Patricia

  Going to Gracie’s Supermarket was one of her favorite things to do because it gave her a sense of normalcy. “Hey, Trish, you guys home for the week? Haven’t seen you in here for a while.” Norma was probably the sweetest person in the world. She always had the ability to make her laugh.

  Patricia smiled as she put her items on the checkout counter. “We’re home for two days, so I’m here taking full advantage of your movie selection. Then I’m going to grab a pizza and ice cream, and let it all go to my hips and not care.” For tonight, at least, that was what she intended to do. She planned to eat her weight in ice cream and forget she was alone, yet again.

  “How are those boys doing?” Norma loved Jarrod and the guys like they were her own children.

  “Breaking hearts all over the country, as always.” She laughed it off like it didn’t hurt, but it did.

  “How about your heart, honey?” Patricia didn’t know if she wanted to laugh or cry at Norma’s question, but it didn’t surprise her how the older woman picked up on her feelings.

  “Safely stored away, Norma, you know that,” she whispered like it was a secret.

  “One day that boy is going to have you singing a different tune.” Patricia could only hope the woman was right, that one day she would be strong enough to open up her heart to the one man who had always owned it.

  “You’re a hopeless romantic, Norma. So, what should I watch tonight?”

  An hour later, Patricia was back home with a medium pizza, a sixpack, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and the latest action movie. She was getting ready to hit play when her phone beeped with a text alert from Jarrod.

  Jarrod: What’cha doing?

  Patricia: Getting ready to watch a movie and eat a pizza.

  Jarrod: Beer?

  Patricia: Of course

  Jarrod: Ice cream?

  Patricia: A given

  Jarrod: Action movie?

  Patricia: Ding, Ding, Ding… right again

  Jarrod: Want some company?

  Patricia: Don’t you have a hot date or something?

  Jarrod: Yep. She just happens to be wearing sweat pants and one of my old T-shirts, has her hair in a bun, and is eating pizza and drinking beer. Let me in.

  “What the hell?” She walked to her front door, and when she opened it, a grinning Jarrod stood there, holding a six pack and a movie in his hands, looking every inch like one of People Magazine’s sexiest men alive. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be on a hot date charming some foolish girl into going home with you?”

  “I told you, I do have a hot date, with you. Now, I’m starving. Where’s the pizza?” He strolled into her house like he owned the place. He’d been doing that a lot lately, now that she thought about it. He showed up to her place every time they were home, not that she was arguing about spending time with him, but it made it harder to fight her attraction and deny her feelings for the man sprawled on her living room sofa, picking up a slice of pizza from the box.

  “Don’t you dare steal the olives, Jarrod Banks,” she told him with a smile as she sat next to him on the sofa.

  “Wouldn’t dream of it, darling.” She curled down beside him on the sofa, grabbing a slice of pizza and one of the open beers on the table. She leaned back as Jarrod pressed the play button to start the movie. She knew she should be watching the movie, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the man next to her. He was so gorgeous, and it felt like every time she looked at him lately, she noticed something different about him.

  “By the way, I never take women back to my house,” he said between sips of beer, and she felt her heart drop. She’d been at his house more times than she could count, so what did that make her? Hell, she was the one who had helped him decorate the place after he bought it. She was the one who cooked anytime he had his family over. Hell, she probably spent as much time at his place as she did at hers.

  “I’ve been to your house,” she whispered, hoping he wouldn’t hear her, or maybe she secretly hoped he would so she would have confirmation that her thoughts weren’t crazy.

  “You’re not just anyone, Trish,” he told her before kissing her forehead and turning his attention to the movie. Yeah, the more time they spent together, the more trouble her heart was facing because this man knew just what music to play to make her dance.

  Present Day

  Patricia

  Monday morning came around too fast for her liking. As soon as the sun rose, their weekend getaway was done. The bubble they had just spent the most amazing three days living in was beginning to burst. She couldn’t remember a time in her life when she had felt so at peace or when she had felt so complete. Bus call was at 9 a.m. and she knew they needed to talk about how their relationship was going to play out back on the road.

  She was awake by 6 a.m., and struggled to make herself move away from Jarrod’s warmth. As she started to untangle herself from his arms, she felt his lips on her collarbone. “Is it already time to get up?” His voice was sleepy and raw, a combination that left her aching for more of this time together. The entire weekend had been filled with mind-blowing sex and hours of conversation, something she knew she would never get tired of.

  “You can stay in bed. I’m going to go make us breakfast,” she told him, pressing her lips to his in a soft kiss. That was another thing she loved about their time together; sometimes it was soft, other times it was so intense it made it hard to breathe. She could get used to this, waking up with Jarrod by her side every day, sharing every moment of her life with him. When she stopped to think about it, that was exactly what they had been doing for the past five years. She just hadn’t taken notice until now.

  “How about we have breakfast in bed, because I know exactly what I want to eat right now.” Jarrod had a hold on her and there was no way she was getting up. Quite frankly, she didn’t want to.

  With one swift move, she found herself on top of him, her legs on either side of his body, and her hands bracing his chest. They didn’t move or talk. They stared at each other for what seemed like forever. The flicker of desire in his eyes sent fire burning through her body, the same need he managed to create in her every time he touched her. She had no idea what was going to happen next, but she couldn’t deny that she was excited to find out. Her past lovers had never been the exploring kind, but with Jarrod, she felt untapped and unknown desires coming alive.

  “That look in your eyes right now, the one that says you have no idea what I’m about to do to you, but you’re dying to find out, is one of the sexiest things I have ever seen.” His hands were on her hips as he whispered to her, his fingers digging into her skin. He lifted her T-shirt high enough to e
xpose her body.

  The combination of his eyes on her and his hands on her skin rendered her completely helpless. She was so turned-on she could barely keep still.

  “Are you turned-on right now? Does my touch you make you wet?” Every moment, every second, they spent together cemented the knowledge of how much she needed him in her life, and how much she wanted to be in his.

  “Yes.” His hands found her breasts, tweaking her nipples hard enough to make her tilt her head back and scream. She couldn’t stop her hips from rocking back and forth, desperately trying to find the right amount of friction to relieve some of the pressure that was building at her core.

  “I can smell how turned-on you are right now.”

  When she finally found the strength to speak, the only words that came out were, “This is so different for me.”

  “Show me what you want. Show me what you want me to do.” There was something about the way he spoke those words to her that made her forget everything but the pure animal desire building inside of her. The way he looked at her, as if he would die if she left or closed herself off from him, made her want to give him all she had. She didn’t hesitate. She didn’t think twice. Patricia scooted herself forward until her sex was directly over Jarrod’s face.

  She heard him groan, “Hell yeah,” as she braced her arms against the headboard. When Jarrod’s tongue ran over her opening, she gasped sharply.

  “Oh, yeah, you taste so fucking amazing.” His tongue ran over her opening again, and when he ran the tip of it over her clit, she cried out his name. A few more strokes of his tongue over her clit and she was uncontrollable. She was grinding herself on his face and he was taking everything she had to give. His tongue entered and fucked her, before moving to her clit, giving it the attention needed to send her close to the edge.

  When she screamed, “Oh, God, do that again,” he scraped his teeth over her clit and ran his tongue over the spot to soften the sting.

  He repeated that a few times. When her grinding became more intense, he took her breasts in his hands and pinched her nipples, which sent her spiraling into an orgasm. “Oh, God! Oh, hell.” Her orgasm swept through her with the force of a tsunami. When the waves started to ease, he continued the sweet torture with his tongue, sending her over the edge for a second time.

  Before she was fully back from her mind-blowing orgasm, the doorbell rang. “Oh, come on!” Jarrod let out a frustrated breath. Their gazes met and they started laughing hysterically.

  She hopped out of bed, grabbed Jarrod’s T-shirt off the floor and slipped it on. “You know you’re not helping my situation right now by wearing nothing but my shirt,” he all but growled at her.

  Leaning over his hot body, she promised, “I’ll make it up to you.” She gave him a quick kiss before slipping on her yoga pants, and getting the door.

  When she opened the door to Sam, she couldn’t wipe the smile from her face.

  “Well, won’t you look at that. She is alive after all. I thought you might have drowned or been kidnapped, but now I see you were just busy getting some,” Sam teased her with a big smirk on his face as he stepped inside the house just in time to see Jarrod walk out of her bedroom.

  “Shut up, Sam,” she told him, punching him on the arm, trying her best to hide her blush.

  “Seriously, I’m happy you two finally happened. I think it’s been in the making for long enough. Now, is there coffee here somewhere?” he asked as he sat down on the chair beside Jarrod.

  “I was just about to go make some. I’ll make us all breakfast.” Patricia blushed at the sound of her husky voice, remembering what Jarrod had done to her minutes before. When she looked up and caught him staring at her, her heartbeat sped up and her desire re-built. She wanted nothing more than to feel him inside her.

  “Sure you were, ‘cause your flushed cheeks and messed-up hair give every indication that what I interrupted was breakfast. So, Jar, how was breakfast this morning?” Sam asked, humor in his voice.

  “You know, it was quite delicious.”

  Blushing, Patricia threw towels at each of them. “You guys are unbelievable. Come on now, behave.”

  The men looked at each other and erupted in laughter.

  She made pancakes and served them fresh fruit and coffee. Jarrod had insisted she sit on his lap, which to her surprise, she didn’t object to. She loved being close to him. Sitting in her kitchen with Jarrod, and her best friend sitting in front of her, eating breakfast and sharing stories over coffee, had never felt more right.

  Jarrod

  Once they finished eating, Patricia left them to go take a shower. Jarrod filled his and Sam’s coffee cups as he mentally prepared himself for whatever was about to come out of Sam’s mouth. “So you finally worked up the nerve to do something,” Sam told him, and he couldn’t deny this had been a long time coming.

  “It was never about that, and you know it. It’s complicated, well, at least in her head, and I don’t want to mess this up, Sam.” For the first time, he felt like they were getting past all the barriers she had put up to keep them from happening, and now that he had her, he wasn’t letting her go.

  “You know, I haven’t seen her smile or laugh that much in years, and the only time she does is when she’s with you.” When he looked at Sam, he could tell his enjoyment at seeing Patricia happy was not because he had feelings for her, but because she was like a sister to him.

  “I love getting to know all of the hidden facets she has, and even after five years, I’m still learning something new about her every day. It’s like she’s a flower blooming in front of my eyes. And just when I think I can’t love her more, she does or says something that makes me fall harder.”

  “Wow, you do realize what you just said, right?” Sam asked, his brows lifting in surprise by his admission.

  “What?” he asked back, as if he didn’t know exactly what Sam was referring to.

  “You said you loved her, man.”

  “Yeah, I do. Sam, it’s crazy. I’ve been in love since the first time I saw her in that fucking bar.” The moment he saw her five years ago, he knew she was the woman for him. There was no chance he was letting her go now that she was his.

  “I know, and trust me when I say this, she feels the exact same way. She’s just so damn stubborn that she wouldn’t see the light. She was so scared your relationship would end and it would damage the band that she was ready to keep fighting whatever is between the two of you.”

  “Yeah, well, it’s about time she sees I’m not going anywhere.” He was going to do whatever it took to make that clear to her.

  “Good luck with that, you’re going to need it.” Sam took one more sip of his coffee as he walked toward the front door. “I just wanted to drop by to see if Trish wanted to come to the gym, but I see she has other plans. Just be on time for bus call.” Sam laughed as he walked outside.

  When Trish came out of the bathroom, Sam was gone and Jarrod was sitting at the kitchen table drinking his coffee. When he looked up and saw her standing in the doorway wearing her silk robe and a towel on her head, he told himself that whatever he had done to be lucky enough to have her in his life, he was forever in God’s debt for bringing them together.

  “Sam left?” She walked toward him. When she was mere inches away from him, she lowered her head and pressed her lips against his. It was a soft and telling; there was nothing sexual in the way she kissed him. It connected them. When Jarrod placed his hands on her face, she lowered her body over his. As she settled against him, she rested her head on his chest and took deep breaths as he rubbed circles on her back.

  “Do we have to leave?” Her voice was soft and filled with longing. The way her hands were wrapped around his back, running circles over his bare skin, spoke to him without saying anything.

  “You know that leaving this house and going back out on the road doesn’t change anything that’s happened. It doesn’t change the fact that you are the sexiest thing I have ever had in my arms and th
at I am never letting you go because I love you, Patricia Monroe.” The words came out as a promise, and he felt her relax in his arms.

  The car ride to the lot was quiet, neither of them spoke until they arrived. Trish curled up around him in his truck. “I want to keep this on the down low on the road, Jar.”

  “Okay.”

  “I mean, the guys all know, and the crew knows too, so I don’t see why we should hide it from them, but everyone else… the media….” He knew she wanted to stay in their bubble for a little bit longer, and praying the media didn’t get wind of it just yet would allow for that to happen.

  “Okay.” He understood where she was coming from, and he had no problem keeping this from the media. They would be the one thing he would change about being Jarrod Banks if he could. He hated the way the media always tried to get information out of him about his personal life and the way they made him out to be a first-class womanizer. So if she wished to keep this off the media’s radar, he wasn’t about to deny her.

  After they were settled in the bus, he grabbed a blanket from his bunk and headed for the media room in the back. When the band first started having success, they had insisted on making the bus the best home on wheels. They spent so much time in the damn thing that making it comfortable was essential to them staying sane.

  “Hey, Trish, you up for a movie?” he called out when he saw her putting something away in her bunk—although, if he had anything to say about it, they would be sharing his bunk. He had never thought about getting his own bus, but maybe now would be a good time to bring it up.

  She walked toward him, flashing that gorgeous smile of hers. “That sounds perfect. We have a couple of hours to kill before we get to the venue, so I’m in.”

  He picked one of her favorite action movies and sat down on the leather sofa. He spread his legs in front of him and patted the spot in front of him. She tilted her head to the side, like she was debating where to sit. Yeah, baby, there is no other option. “Sit down, Trish. I just want you to myself for a little bit longer.”